Does anyone know what day it is?
Now there's a popular TV show that starts with a similar question: "Does anyone know what time it is?" The answer is obviously, Tool Time.
How many of you have seen this show?
What is the focus of Tool Time?
Specifically, what type of tools?
So if Tim has a tool that he believes doesn't quite measure up to the job, what does he say it needs? MORE POWER
More power. Tim thinks that what it means to be a man is to have more power. Tim thinks that what it means to be a Father is to have more power. On this Father's Day, let us explore what it means to be a good Father.
Now, of course, like all successful situation comedies, Home Improvement follows a formula. Usually the show begins with Tim displaying very macho attitudes towards his power tools and towards his family. The plot usually revolves around Tim's unsuccessful efforts to improve many tools to be bigger, go faster or do more than they were originally intended to do. When this happens on Tool Time, Al, being the more knowledgeable carpenter, tries to convince Tim not to carry out his ill-conceived plan, usually to no avail.
After a long day of blowing himself up, Tim goes home to his wife, Jill and their three boys. When he first gets home, Tim is still in macho mode and most often is insensitive to the needs of his family. Often he tries to use his power and authority over his wife and children and this ends in some kind of conflict, with him out in the yard asking for advice from his wise neighbour Wilson.
Often, in white, North American, culture, we think of men and power. Some of us think of the father as the head of the household. The stereotypical father - the kind of father that Tim the Toolman Taylor tries to be at the beginning of every episode - is a man who is strong, powerful and is able to provide well for his family. Like the strong cave man who can kill wild beasts with his bare hands; thus the grunting.
However, fathers like that are also often emotionally unavailable and detached from their children. Fathers like that often try to control their children by demanding that they behave in a particular the way.
And so Tim, the Toolman, Taylor thinks more power will solve any problem - at work and at home.
Well, you don't have to watch too many episodes of Home Improvement to quickly learn that, in fact, power will not solve any problem. And the kind of father and man Tim is changes as the plot line moves along. By the end of each episode, Tim is a completely different kind of father and man. And he goes through this change every week.
After the conflict he has with Jill or one of children, Tim moves out to the backyard and asks for advice from his wise neighbour Wilson. Tim realizes the error of his ways and then goes back inside and tries to ask for forgiveness and repeat Wilson's wisdom, but he usually mess up the words in a humourous way.
In each episode, Tim is transformed. He is transformed into a loving, sensitive, understanding Father. The kind of Father most people would want; the kind of father that is talked about in the Bible.
So when you think about Fathers and the Bible, what Biblical stories come to mind?
Let us read together the story of the Prodigal Son, but when we listen, this time let us listen from the perspective of the Father, and think about how the Father does not use his power to control his son, but only to help him.
Jesus uses the story to demonstrate what God is like. He presents God as a Father. Jesus called God, Abba, which means Daddy. Jesus introduces this understanding of God as Daddy, so that we could relate to God in familiar, warm, relational ways. The story of the Prodigal Son presents God, not only was a Father, but the ideal father. The Father we all want; one who is incredibly loving, extraordinarily forgiving, and exceptionally accepting of his children. This is the kind of father who doesn't try to control his children but actually gives his children free will, to go and make the mistakes they need to make to grow.
Besides power, the other thing that Father's may use to control their children is knowledge and wisdom.
One of the interesting things about Home Improvement is that Al provides Tim with knowledge, while Wilson provides him with wisdom. In our lives, there is a big difference between the knowledge that Al has and the wisdom of Wilson. Knowledge is gained when we acquire facts and skills. Wisdom is concerned with ideas and insights. Knowledge is concrete and specific while wisdom is abstract and can be applied to different situations. Part of the humor of the show is that Tim has a pathetic lack of both qualities but claims to have them.
A good father must have knowledge and the wisdom to apply that knowledge correctly. Like Tim does on the show, a good father should be able to do three things, to listen, to learn and to love. First of all, a good father must be able to listen to his family and others and thus acquire knowledge. He must be able to learn from what they tell him and gain wisdom. And he must be able to love them, with a love that grows stronger every day. On Home Improvement, Tim listens to Wilson, learns from what he says (even if he can't repeat it correctly) and the loves his family more because of it. By doing these three things a good father can grow in practical knowledge and in wisdom.
Now Jesus does not talk about Fathers directly, but he does criticize the religious leaders of his day, who were in "Fatherly" in their patriarchal roles.
In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus says:
"The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat; therefore, do whatever they teach you and follow it; but do not do as they do, for they do not practice what they teach. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them. ... Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites: For you are like white-washed tombs, which on the outside look beautiful, but inside they are full of the bones of the dead and all kinds of filth. So you also on the outside look righteous to others, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."
So we can conclude that Jesus did not approve of false fronts for those in authority.
Tim tries to fill his fatherly role by being a strong, powerful, all knowledgeable and all wise, and emotionally distance leader of his family. When Tim approaches fatherhood in this way, he fails, because it is all a false front. His family challenges to tear down the façade and be genuine. When Tim humbles himself, and listens and learns from his family and his friends, he experiences his greatest reward: loving relationships.
So in the end, being a good father is not about being strong, powerful or all knowing and all wise. Being a good father is about loving relationships. Being a Christian is about loving relationships. Praise to Jesus to teaches us that lesson. Amen.
