The Coucher Song Issue

By DarkStar

Spoilers: TVA

Note: Hi all. Another of my short specs that I hope you like. I quoted part of the lyrics from the song 'Lady Marmalade' from the girl group 'All Saints'. Again, I think this is a semi-silly rating.

Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir = Do you want to lay with me tonight? (Or something...sorry never got past French III, but you get the idea, right?)

"Shit!" Daniel cursed. He kneeled down to pick up the mess he had made by stumbling into a pile of breakfast cereals. Who the hell thought a tower of cereal boxes in the middle of the aisle was a good idea? He thought. He started fixing up the tower again, that ended up not like a tower but a crooked pyramid with several of the boxes misaligned in all directions. When he placed the last box, the pyramid-like tower started to tilt to almost fall again. "Ooooh….no." Daniel held the boxes together. "Stay!" he commanded it. He let go and the tower stood still. Daniel sighed in relief. He picked his X-men comic book and headed to the register counter. He started whistling to himself and gave quick glances into the aisles as he passed by them. Then he stopped and walked back to take a second look into one of them. He grinned mischievously. Well, well, well…what have we here? He thought to himself as he looked at the behind of a young mortal man who was bent down trying to pull some article at the bottom of the shelf. Ooh…just keep that pose, honey. Daniel grinned. Man, I need to get laid, he thought. He could almost picture himself grabbing at the rounded ass. You, my sexy one, have been granted the honor to be my bedmate and dinner for tonight, Daniel mused. He started approaching his victim. He began drooling with the anticipation of the sensual night he would achieve himself. The young man straightened to place the object he selected into his shopping cart.

"D'oh!" Daniel winced. He started cursing as he kicked at the shelves and articles. "Shit, shit, shit, shit!!" He yanked his hair and then turned to a shelf. "Why, oh why oh why oh why?" he whimpered against it.

"Daniel!? What's the matter with you?"

Daniel sighed exasperatedly. "Nothing, Louis." He rolled his eyes. "Damn!" He cursed. He turned around and looked at Louis who looked back at him ashamedly.

"You're creating a spectacle, did you notice?" Louis admonished. Daniel looked at the people who had heard him swear, and who were giving him scornful scowls. He only snorted.

"What brings you here?" he asked Louis. Louis continued walking pushing his cart through the aisle and Daniel followed next to him.

"Lestat bought something called CD burner and he wanted some writeable CDs so I came on errand. But I decided to come here because we were out of candles and shampoo, and I also wanted to buy new bed sheets and quilts. The others were…well let's just say a little worn out." Daniel whimpered again. Louis looked at him. "What's wrong with you? Why did you behave like so back there?"

"Hard to explain. Ever had the feeling like when you're gonna get something real cool and you can hardly wait and then suddenly…poof, kaput, zilch?"

"No." Louis answered.

"Yeah, well. Whatever." Daniel sighed.

"What didn't you get?" Louis asked. Some, Daniel thought.

"Oh, nothing. Just what could have been an incredible night. But don't mind me." He smiled at Louis. Louis shrugged and continued walking.

"Where are those things anyway?" he asked.

"What? The CDs? This way, Lou." Daniel pointed. Louis followed Daniel. They stopped at the technology and electronics section. Daniel gestured Louis to the CD ROMs and other computer utilities.

"Here they are. Do you know which type he needs?"

"Yes, thank you." Louis started searching among the different products. Daniel stared at Louis. If it weren't for the Brat, he thought. He looked at Louis and imagined a label attached to his rear that read: "Back off! Don't even think it!" with Lestat's furious piercing gray eyes set like a warning sign to scare all preying vultures away and at the bottom a note: Property of L. de Lioncourt. Daniel sighed and leaned next to the shelf to continue watching. Somebody raised the volume at one of the nearby stereos on display and the music lyrics went: "Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" Daniel groaned.

"I can't believe it," he muttered under his breath. "Everyone's against me."

Louis unconsciously started singing along with the music. Daniel blinked when he heard him.

"Voulez vous coucher avec moi? Voulez__ vous__ coucher__avec__ moi? " Louis sang. Daniel tightened his legs together. He wished Louis would shut his mouth. He could feel his organ responding to the words as if it were a mating call. His eyes widened when he looked back at Louis. Louis had turned to him, his long ebony hair ruffled with the wind. His shirt was halfway open to expose his chest and his emerald eyes peered straight at his own eyes. Louis caressed his body and groin and then gestured with his finger for Daniel to come to him. Daniel swallowed hard. Louis moistened his lips sensually with his tongue. His mouth moved and sang:

"Now come on and share all your deep fantasies. I'm asking, not telling you, please show me all night you can do me right. Take me where I wanna be."

He started walking slowly towards Daniel who had started panting. Louis bent to kiss Daniel's lips. Daniel almost passed out when suddenly his reverie popped with the ring of a cellular phone. He stared back at Louis who kept singing next to his cart while filling it with boxes of different computer software.

"Voulez, Voulez, Voulez vous coucher avec moi?" he sang. Daniel's organ was fully engorged and it ached. The cellular phone kept ringing. Louis unhooked his cell phone from his jeans. "Allo?"

Daniel tried to soothe his aroused state. He walked around and tried to think of things that sickened him. His organ started shrinking and he relaxed. He felt again safe to head next to Louis, who was talking to his phone.

"I'm at the mart…Because I wanted to get some other things we lacked... Yes, I've got them. More than enough, don't worry," he said. Daniel stood next to Louis and smiled. Louis smiled back, then talked back to the phone. "Well, these things take time. But I'm almost finished. I just need to pay." He stuck his hand inside his jeans' back pocket to grab his wallet. "Yes, I have enough. I took your wallet to make sure….Oh!" Louis exclaimed when he dropped the wallet. "Hold on a second," he said and bent down to pick it.

"Gah!" Daniel gasped. His organ stirred and fought once more to obtain a vertical position inside his jeans. "Oh..Shhhhhii.."

"What is it?" Louis asked him puzzled. Daniel grinned.

"Nothing, nothing." He answered, brushing it away with his hands.

Louis adressed the phone. "Sorry, I dropped the wallet… No, it's just Daniel. He's helping me with…..but I haven't paid yet!…What do you mean you don't want them anymore?!…..Lestat, for God's sakes! He's just helping me with the shopping….. That's just fallacy! What makes you think that's all they think when…" Louis looked at Daniel's jeans and noticed his obvious arousal. He coughed loudly, choking somewhat from the stun and almost dropped his phone. Daniel blushed and shrugged. "Nothing!" Louis resumed his conversation. "No! You're wrong, monsieur. Listen, I'm hanging up. I'll finish this and then pay and then I'll head home. Good-bye!" Louis shut his cell phone.

"Sorry, Lou." Daniel apologized. Louis sighed. He pushed his cart towards the counter. "Whoaah!" Daniel suddenly cried grabbing his head. "Boy, is he angry!" he said to Louis. Louis groaned. "I have been sentenced to death!….Again!" Daniel laughed while rubbing his forehead. Louis chuckled.

"You must excuse His Majesty's jealousy uproars," he said.

"Naw, used to them." Daniel said. "But…he does have a point, you know. If I were in his place, I'd probably behave the same way."

"No, you wouldn't." Louis replied.

"You don't know that." Daniel said. "Anyway, I'm sorry for my reaction back there. It's been some time since I…well since I've had a good lay."

"Why don't you call Armand?" Louis asked.

"Maybe later. Right now I'm happy as it is between us."

"Yes, I think you've handled this detachment quite well."

"Yeah, well. I just go on. Perhaps we'll get together sometime, I don't know." Daniel said. Louis agreed. They finally paid at the counter and headed towards the exit. Once at the parking lot, Daniel helped Louis place the shopping bags inside Lestat's car.

"You know," Daniel said suddenly, "I was hoping you voulez coucher avec moi." He joked.

"Not tonight," Louis sniffled.

"Aww, why not, Lou? Don't you like me?"

"Yes, but I won't coucher avec toi, ce soir."

"Then another soir?" Daniel asked. Louis laughed.

"Perhaps…"

Daniel gasped. "You're kidding!"

"Yes."

"Awww. Hey, Louis!" Daniel called. Louis looked at him. Daniel started dancing, moving his hips back and forth and his arms in a circle in front of him. Looking really ridiculous and funny, Louis thought. "Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" Daniel singed.

"Non" Louis answered as he continued loading the car. Daniel continued singing.

"Voulez vous coucher avec moi?."

"Non"

"Voulez….vous…coucher…avec…moi?.."

"Non." Daniel stopped dancing.

"Aww, Louis. You party pooper. I'm just singing!"

"I know." Louis smiled.

"Louis, if one day I asked you seriously…would you come to bed with me?"

"Hmm…." Louis thought for a moment. "Non."

"Aww…But…why? Aren't we friends?"

"Oui."

"Don't we share secrets?"

"Oui."

"Aren't we there for each other in the hour of need?"

"Oui."

"Didn't you trust me with your story?"

"Oui."

"Don't I make you laugh?"

"Oui."

"Don't you like me?"

"Oui."

"Won't you sleep with me?"

"Non" "Damn!"

Louis laughed hard. "Really, Daniel, even if I had said yes I wouldn't do it."

"I know," Daniel smiled.

Louis finished loading up the trunk and shut the door.

"Well, that's it. I better go now before a certain Brat decides to come out and look for me."

"Yeah!" Daniel laughed. "Bye, Louis. It was nice running into you here."

"I think so too." Louis said. "I actually had a fun time. I must thank you."

"Perhaps you can thank me in bed?" Daniel leered.

"Hmmm….." Louis mumbled. "Perhaps."

"You're kidding!" Daniel chuckled and then frowned when Louis didn't laugh with him. Louis went next to Daniel and kissed him roughly on the mouth. Daniel's eyes widened their utmost with surprise. Louis french kissed him sultrily for a moment until his lips finally parted Daniel's leaving a saliva link between them. Daniel stood with a stupefied look. Louis licked his lips.

"Not really," he purred. He got inside his car and looked at Daniel. "Au revoir, mon ami." He winked. Daniel's sight followed the car as it headed away. He pinched himself to wake from his reverie.

"Ow!!" He cried. Then he gasped.

the end