Part Four: (Lestat)

I've said it before and I'll say it over and over again, I don't lie to anyone but myself. And as I walked away from him I was so certain that I would never care for anything again. I felt dead to feeling, dead to even my passion for him. My love a memory, vanishing on the wind as I left the complex.

And yet there was that jab of hurt, added to the open wound left by his book, that he *hadn't* come after me, hadn't bothered to follow. And I couldn't prevent the slight easing of that ache when I heard him running up behind me, footsteps rining on the pavement. I would have liked to though, would have liked to lock myself away from him. I'd given him too much power over me, entered him into my heart before he called for the keys. You have cause to love me, I though dully. My love for you destroyed me, destroyed the vampire that I had been. The Brat Prince held in fealty to the weak creature that was Louis.

He caught my shoulder, tried to pull me back to him, and I allowed him to do it. What did it matter anyway, if I was stronger than him? And then I was in his arms and he was holding me so tightly that I thought my ribs would break. And something melted the cold frozen lump of hurt inside me and I rested my head on his shoulder and cried, wondering how could have considered leaving him, knowing that I would stay no matter what he said.

I felt him relax as he felt the tension leave my body and yet he didn't release me, simply held me there, stroking my hair and cradling me in his arms as I cried. I was the first to pull away, brushing the tears out of my face before he could comment on them, putting an arm around his waist and drawing him into a walk. Wanting to be away from the stares of passers-by. He kept one of his arms around me too, keeping close to me so I could feel the comforting presence of him. Eventually we came to a small park and entered the gates. Louis led me over to a massive oak tree, pulling me down beside him as he sat on the grass below.

"Are you ready to talk now?" he asked cautiously.

"I don't know," I wanted to lean my head against his shoulder again, to feel his arms around me, but I couldn't reach for him. Something in my eyes must have given me away though for I found myself wrapped in that comforting embrace and then pulled further down so that I lay full length on the ground. He brushed my cheek with a soft kiss, and then my eyes, the end of my nose, the corner of my mouth. I turned my head slightly, hopefully, and he rewarded my effort with what I had been seeking. A tender loving kiss warmed my mouth, and then he lifted his mouth from mine, still holding me in his arms, leaning his head against mine.

"Tell me Lestat. Was it our fight?"

"No, not really," I drew him closer to me, dreading what I would have to say.

"I didn't mean it, you know."

"What? I couldn't think what he meant for a second and then I remembered. "Oh that. No, I know you didn't. I was just angry. I should have come back when you said my name." And how I wished I had, wished I hadn't gone on to that book store, seen his vision of me with all the clarity Daniel had bestowed upon it.

"Why did you look like that?" Louis' voice was tender, caressing. "What did you mean about me disliking you?"

"It's there, Louis," I was whispering, couldn't speak any louder for fear my voice would crack. "It's in there, for everyone to read. You found me 'distasteful', that's why you didn't want to share a coffin with me that night, and afterwards you realised you didn't like me...you found me boring, 'disheartening'."

"Is that what this is all about?" He actually sounded relieved and I tensed at the smile in his voice. "Oh, stop that!" He turned my head so that he could look at me properly and his eyes were laughing at me although his smile was infinitely tender. "I love you," he said softly and he had never seemed so beautiful.

"But you don't *like* me," I said and my voice sounded petulant to even my ears.

"Don't be ridiculous," he told me and pulled my hair a little, forcing me to listen. "Lestat. do you really think I could be in love with you and still dislike you?" He shook his head, and pulled me a little closer, shifting himself until he lay partially on top of me, one arm around my chest, the other still threaded through my hair. He leant his head on my shoulder and I felt his soft hair against my throat.

"Lestat, maybe I didn't like you then. You certainly annoyed me and you baited me at every turn. And yes, if you really want to know, sometimes I *did* find you boring." I caught my breath and he punched my shoulder. "Don't do that!" he ordered. "I know what you're thinking," he went on. "That for you it was magical and wonderful and you're hurt that I didn't see it that way. But Lestat," he raised his head a little and kissed the line of my jaw, reminding me with every contact of how much I loved him. "You didn't tell me about any of that," he reminded me. "You never spoke of the magic, or the wonder and I was hurt that you didn't seem to share my feelings for you."

"Your feelings..." I began and he cut me off.

"There *were* some things I didn't tell Daniel," he said quietly. "Some things it took a long time for me to admit to myself. One of those was my love for you." He lay silent for a moment. "It was all I had, Lestat, you took my mortal life from me and replaced it with sensations that I could never have envisaged and of course I was in love with you. I would have loved you with everything I had, if only you had alowed it. But you taunted me and berated me, and constantly criticised me and pushed me away whenever I tried to get close."

"Louis," I said, needing to tell him what I had felt then, but his fingers brushed my mouth, silencing me.

"Hush, Lestat, this has to be said," he told me, and went on, a little faster now. "I wanted to tell you not to hurt me, to show you how it could be between us if only... if only you were gentle. To say 'tread softly, for you tread upon my dreams'. But it was never that way between us and, although the hate came later, from the beginning I disliked you. For otherwise, what would have survived of me?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you," I said, glad I couldn't see his face then. "And I loved you, Louis, really I did."

"I know that," he smiled against my neck. "The pain of that time is over now. It ended when I read your book, when I realised what it was you had hidden from me." He laughed quietly. "I suppose it was stupid of me, to think you would have made me a vampire just for my house."

"Finally you admit it," I said and the laughter was beginning to come back into my voice. He heard it and sat up a little, smiling at me.

"And you, Lestat, to have a hysterical fit because you thought I found you 'boring'," he said. "Of all things, that was what you took offence at!" He shook his head. "Not my attacks on you, not the fact that I left you in Paris, or even the fact that I lied to Daniel about seeing you again...."

"I hadn't reached that part," I reminded him. "But really, Louis, a heap of dead cats, and a vampire nursemaid?"

"That's better," he kissed the tip of my nose again. "In a minute you'll be back to normal. And for the record, beloved, I don't find you boring at all!"

"You're certain?" I was still unsure of myself. "That carriage ride..."

"Lestat, you are not to throw that carriage ride back at me," he said sternly. "You were jabbering away about nothing and it was horribly distracting, when all I wanted to do was just look at you and yes, yes, yes it was BORING!" He raised his voice as he glared down at me, green eyes flashing in the way I love so much. "It was boring, boring, boring," he went on and opened his mouth to repeat the word for a fifth time.

I had had enough. I pulled him on to me easily, and rolled over so that I could trap him there, covering his mouth with mine and sliding my tongue in between his parted lips. I explored the wrm cavern of his mouth slowly, then jumped as he returned the caress, his tongue flickering into my mouth, his hands drawing me head down to him. When we parted we were both breathless.

"Was *that* boring?" I asked him and he smiled at me.

"Ah, the Vampire Lestat is back again," he teased, and then hugged me tightly. "You frightened me," he whispered. "I thought I was losing you."

"Never," I told him. "Never, beautiful one." My hands were already straying to his shirt buttons. "Now shall I bore you some more?"

"Lestat!" He tried to push me off. "This is hardly the place."

"If we go back we'll disturb David," I pointed out.

"David's moved out," he told me, then looked nervous as my eyes widened in surprise. "He said it was better that way."

I knew that I would have to deal with that, would have to find David and talk to him. But now my priorities lay elsewhere. Continuing down the line of shirt buttons I laid Louis' ivory skin bare.

"Listen to me, Louis de Point du Lac," I said firmly. "I'm not having any excuses or arguments from you. David can wait, getting home can wait, in short *everything* can wait, except what I'm about to do now."

"And what *are* you about to do?" he asked breathlessly.

"Prove to you once and for all that I am not boring," I told him. "And then *you* can prove to me that you don't dislike me." Louis laughed.

"And making love in public park is what is takes to prove it?" he asked.

"Just be thankful we left the mall," I pointed out and kissed him.