The Taming of the Shrew

By Mischa

I pen this story with abject and heartfelt apologies in advance to Anne Rice, Lestat du Lioncourt,
Louis du Pont du Lac, et al, whom i am probably offending terribly.
I make no profit and derive nothing more than personal satisfaction
from the use of these characters.
if stories of a homo-erotic nature bother you, then this is not a tale
for you. It is not graphic or of an overtly sexual nature, however
such things are mentioned even if only in passing.

I mean you no harm, guys.

The Taming of the Shrew.
Part One

Armand

He shifted, trying to ease the cramps in his legs. Searching for a more comfortable position on the rooftop made him slip on the icy tiles and he almost fell. Not that it would have mattered if he did, it wasn't a long drop, not even a possibility of an overnight break, but it would give away his hiding place.

He'd been watching for weeks now and had been up here on this damned rooftop seven nights running.
It was the best vantage point he'd found during his protracted observation of the house opposite.
He'd tried hiding in the queen's wreath which tangled itself over the fence near the driveway, but it made him sneeze and itch.
He was sure it was just a phantom itch, but the sneezing was a dead giveaway, not to mention bloody annoying. 500 year old vampires simply did not sneeze, or at least, they were not supposed to. So he'd retired to the rooftop, watching and thinking, planning and longing.
It was driving him insane.

Ever since he'd first laid eyes on the young vampire who lived in the house across the road from his precarious perch, he'd been totally lost. madly in love with violet eyes and ash blond hair, a long lean body, graceful as a cat...and that laugh...that delicious sound, like warm honey.
Armand shivered, remembering...

It had been the laugh that he heard first.
strolling down the alleyway, he'd just disposed of the evidence of his night's feed and was feeling good, nice and mellow and was trying to decide whether to catch that movie Lestat had recommended he see or maybe to just go find some nice, warm dessert, when he heard that laugh.
It was obviously preternatural, the timbre and clarity told him that it was, and his territorial nature drove him to investigate.

There were two of them, wandering through the crowd down the street, coming toward him.
Arms around each other's shoulders, laughing at some private joke. He stood in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking their path, menace exuding from every inch of his small frame. They'd come to an abrupt stop under a streetlight only three feet away once they'd spotted him
waiting and Armand sucked in his breath sharply when he got his first good look at them.
Lord! They were a breathtaking pair. One light, the other dark.

The dark one backed away a couple of steps and lowered his head shyly, regarding Armand with trepidation through a curtain of soft black hair. But the other; he was bold this one, stepping forward his eyes aglow with mischief and delight, no fear at all.

*Good evening* he said, the grin widening *and who might you be?*

*my name is Armand* he replied *And this is my hunting ground.*

*Good heavens!* the young one sounded delighted, *the Armand? The famous Armand?*

He made it sound like a circus act and Armand scowled at him.

*You're very bold for one standing only three feet from oblivion* he observed coldly.

The dark vampire moved to Daniel's side. Tugging at his jumper he whispered,

*Daniel, come on. Come away*

Daniel turned to his companion, his eyes tender,

*It's all right, Louis. He won't hurt us.*

He turned back to Armand and added, challengingly. *Will you.*

Armand had no intention of harming one hair on this stunning creature's head, but he wasn't about to let him know that.

* A few questions, young one. Answer them truthfully and you may survive the night, you and your pretty friend. *

The dark one, Louis, visibly cringed at this direct threat.
Armand couldn't read his mind very clearly, his thoughts were panicked and scattered, there seemed to be some trauma there, something damaged, but the Details were unclear.
Oh well, it wasn't Louis Armand was interested in....
He looked sternly around at Daniel, who had moved and was lounging on a bus seat.
Oh, this one had guts all right, guts enough to get himself killed some night if he picked the wrong vampire to be so disrespectful to.

Armand's eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he slowly realised that Daniel had deliberately moved, coming closer to Armand while widening the distance between Armand and Louis.

# So.. # Armand thought with growing admiration

#..he's not as vapid and impertinent as he's pretending to be.#

Looking closely Armand could now see that while the smile on Daniel's face was insolent, his eyes were hard as diamonds and his relaxed stance was a sham too, he was tense and ready to move if it became neccessary.
He took a step back himself, leaning against the lightpost and asked

*Who is your maker?*

Daniel relaxed, just a little, and replied

* Thomas Delarosa.*

Armand had heard of him but their paths had never crossed.
He nodded toward Louis, who had moved to stand closer to Daniel.

* His?*

Louis answered himself, his voice soft and hesitant.

* I never learned his name.*

Pure anguish was coming off Louis in waves. Something to do with his mker, Armand guessed. But he wasn't going to probe, he had the idea Daniel was waiting for him to try and he didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with these two. They seemed harmless enough, as vampires go, no reason to run them off, San Francisco was a large city.

He nodded, seemingly satisfied.

*Very well, no trouble from us, no trouble from you, okay?*

Daniel stood.

*Sure thing. No problem.*

He grinned again and offered his hand to shake.
Armand took it, smooth and soft, Armand felt his stomach trembling.
This young one was very attractive...

Armand shifted again, it was getting late, perhaps Daniel wasn't going out tonight or perhaps Armand had missed him.
That wouldn't be a surprise, Daniel often fed early when Louis was having a bad night.
Armand had been watching them for a while now, there was something very wrong with the dark one and Daniel was very solicitous of him, it made Armand green with jealousy, watching the tender way Daniel held Louis' hand when They went out, the gentle way he spoke to him and touched him, smoothing back his hair and whispering into Louis' ear.
He'd spoken to them several more times since their first encounter, each time they met it was seemingly by accident; an accident very carefully planned by Armand.

The last time, only the night before, Armand had thought himself fortunate to find Daniel alone.
Louis was hunting, he preferred to do it by himself, Armand had learned during his night missions on the rooftop.
He'd taken the opportunity to ask Daniel if he'd care to accompany him to a play he had tickets for, be damned if he'd call it asking Daniel out on a date, but that's what lestat insisted it was. But Daniel had demurred, reluctantly it seemed, he explained that he Couldn't leave Louis alone, that it would hurt Louis if he, Daniel, started seeing other people. Louis was lonely, Daniel said, Louis needed him.

#Damn Louis!# Armand felt like saying, but of course he didn't.
He smiled graciously and said he understood, when all he wanted to do was scream with frustration.
#Perhaps some other time#.

Armand sighed and stood, maneuvering around the chimney top and sliding gracefully down the tiles, before dropping to the ground. He must have missed him, again.
Dawn was only a couple of hours away, too late for Daniel to go out now.
Reluctantly he headed for home.
There had to be a way, some way of getting to know Daniel, some way of courting Daniel without bloody Louis moping around.
Whatever Louis' problem was, Armand didn't want to know.
He'd had his own set of miseries in the last 500 years and had no desire to spend any time with sad sack the vampire.
He had enough trouble with the maniac, trouble-prone, permanently hyper Lestat without taking on the other end of the spectrum.

Lestat was waiting for him when he reached the apartment.
Pacing around muttering to himself, while oasis blared away at full volume on the stereo.
Thank goodness they didn't have neighbours, he thought as he entered the room behind Lestat's back and turned the volume down a notch. Lestat stopped pacing for long enough to notice him.

#I wonder if vampires can have attention deficit disorder?# Armand mused as he watched Lestat jiggle about.

*Ah, home finally, I see*
*And how is the magnificent, marvellous Daniel this evening?* Lestat teased.

Armand sighed heavily, flopping into a chair and covering his eyes with one hand.

*Shut up, 'Stat* he groaned *You have no idea.......*

He regretted confiding his little obsession now, Lestat was a tease at the best of times and discovering that his friend had the hots for someone had given him too much ammuntion.
Lestat came and perched on the arm of the chair, patting Armand on the head in a rather patronising fashion.

* So..what's the plan?* he asked

* What plan? I don't have a plan.*

*Oh, Armand..* Lestat gibed * Everyone needs a plan, I have plans all the time.*

*Yyeah, and look at the trouble it gets us into....remember the sick little old lady with the great fortune and no last will and testament?*

Lestat was suddenly defensive

*Well, how was I supposed to know she had a hulking great brute of a grandson, she never mentioned him!*

*Wasn't in the plan, huh?* Armand countered.

* Look, forget that.* Lestat waved it away

*You need a plan. A plan to get the tasty young Daniel away from this mouldy, maudlin friend of his, right?*

* Right. Trouble is, I don't think it's possible. Daniel is devoted to his mouldy friend.*

Lestat patted him on the head again, consolingly this time.
for the thousandth time, Armand regretted being short.

*Look, you go get yourself all comfy for bed. Leave it up to ole 'Stat.
I'll make you a game plan that'll knock your socks off! *

Armand eyed him cynically but decided to let it go.
Lestat always rose an hour or two before Armand, but he couldn't set one of his marvellous plans into motion in that amount of time.
Armand was cold and tired and frustrated and wanted nothing more than a hot bath and some silk sheets to follow.
He rose from the chair and headed for the stairs, stopping to look over his shoulder and wish Lestat goodnight.
Lestat waved at him absentmindedly, deep in thought and jiggling about again.
Armand considered saying something, something like,
'Don't do anything without telling me first'
but decided it wasn't necessary and trudged off up the stairs.
Lestat couldn't, wouldn't do anything , no.....of course not.

The Taming of the Shrew
Part Two

Lestat

He strolled down the street, moving left and right to avoid bumping into the late night crowd. It was hot and sultry, a marked contrast to the chilly weather of the previous night and there were still a lot of people out enjoying the change.

This really was the most brilliant idea he'd ever had, he congratulated himself.
All he had to do was turn on the old 'Stat charm, flash a few brilliant smiles, make a few of his famous,witty remarks and the walls of jerusalem would crumble, leaving the way clear for Armand to jump his beloved Daniel's bones.
Simple.
That's all it would take, make this terminally depressed vampire fall madly in love with him, and, let's face it, who could resist, and the way would be clear for his old buddy.
Lestat stopped at the corner and admired himself in the glass.
He did look simply wonderful, Armani suit, tasteful tie, glorious blond hair unbound.
He sort of wished he'd waited around 'till Armand woke up so he could have given him a chance to admire all the sartorial trouble he'd gone to on his behalf, but he was too excited at the absolute simplistic genius of this plan to wait around a moment longer.

He sent his thoughts ahead to the apartment opposite.
Good, Daniel was gone and Mr Camille was alone.
Lestat shuddered when he touched on Louis' thoughts, this was going to be a real trial, courting this guy, lestat fervently hoped that he didn't look the way he sounded, like a wet weekend, he could end up being a real chore.

He crossed the street and stopped in the doorway.
Before he knocked he sent his mind skimming out once more, searching to see where Daniel was. When he found him, Daniel was miles away.
Satisfied he wasn't going to be Interrupted, Lestat pulled his mind back before Daniel
sensed the contact and knocked, firmly, but not aggressively on the door.
For a while nothing happened, so he knocked again. And then again.
'Stat couldn't believe it. This idiot wasn't even going to answer the door!

Still nothing....'Stat leaned on the doorbell.

#I'm gonna knock on your door, ring on your bell, tap on your window too.....#
He sang to himself, straightening his lapels, waiting.

Eventually he heard the locks being pulled back and the door opened a crack.
Lestat flashed his best and most mind-blowing grin,

*Hi.* he said to the dark crack in the door.

*My name is Lestat du Lioncourt.
Perhaps you've heard of me?
I'm a friend of Armand's, whom I believe you've already met.
I mean you no harm, I just wanted to...to..to..um...

The door was slowly opening, revealing the occupant and Lestat suddenly lost his train of thought.

....um....introduce myself and welcome you to the neighbourhood. I'd have .....er...bought ...cookies ....or a housewarming gift but....well...*

....geezuz..why hadn't Armand warned him!
Lestat had never, never in his entire vampiric existence seen anything so lovely as the figure framed in the light from the doorway.
He just stared, mouth hanging open like an imbecile.
A fall of black hair like ebony silk,exquisite bone structure with high cheekbones a delicately expressive face,
pouty bottom lip, just made for kissing and those eyes, oh Mon Dieu......
Lestat, gentleman vampire, bon vivant, raconteur and lothario fell into those eyes and disappeared.
Surrounded by long black lashes,the softest, mossy green eyes, with little teeny weeny points of lighter green like diamond chips or lasers.........

#Pull yourself together 'Stat# he admonished himself, mouth snapping shut. #You're embarassing yourself here#

He had to think of something to say fast, before the door was shut in his face.
Something amusing and witty, but comforting, he didn't want to frighten or intimidate his Louis.

#His Louis?#
#Well# he told himself, squaring his shoulders preparing himself for battle #He will be!#

*Can I come in? I'd like to eat you....no! I mean, meet you!!!*

Oh Goddammit, he'd blown it already! He daren't look up.
Then he heard a soft laugh. He ventured a glance up at the doorway. Louis was trying to stifle a laugh.
He let the door swing fully open and said

*How can I refuse? Please, Mr du Lioncourt, come in.*

Louis

He sat in the wing chair trying very hard not to yawn, one hand resting on the side of his face, fingers massaging his temple where an incipient headache was gathering.
What had possessed him to let this....lunatic into the house.
Daniel would have some very sharp words for him when he got home. And rightly so.
But this man, this handsome, well-dressed utter psychopath who was striding around his parlour, gesticulating and laughing wildly as he ranted on about....something Louis wasn't listening to...
had seemed so harmless.
Louis had thought him sweet, nervous, stumbling over his words, even blushing.
A trifle incoherent and red-faced yes, but insane?

He was awfully gorgeous too and although he knew himself to be a sucker for a pretty face, he'd swallowed his inhibitions and his natural reticence and invited him in.
He'd let him into the house and listened to his flowery compliments for half an hour and was now in the second hour of polite nods and *Uh-huh's* as The demented vampire told tale after outrageous tale of his adventures.

Louis had stopped listening after hearing something about body swapping and was now tuning out as best he could some tall story about rock and roll and number one albums.
He was certain that if Daniel didn't come home soon, this vampire was going to either bore him to death, or drink him dry as some kind of bizarre grand finale.
Oh God, what was he going to do?

Daniel

Daniel couldn't recall ever feeling so connected to someone before. When he'd run into Armand at the wharf, he'd been on his way home after feeding early, but Armand persuaded him that he could spare some little time for a stroll and a chat.
Now here it was four hours later and they were still talking. so much in common, not like he and Louis..
Stalwartly, Daniel pushed that disloyal thought away.
They shared the same taste in music and movies,it was surprising really that someone of Armand's many years had a healthy appreciation of rock music and modern film, but it seemed that Armand liked to move with the times, he wasn't caught in a fusty time warp like..........
#Don't go there!# Daniel warned himself.

They didn't agree on everything, they'd already discovered mild differences of opinion on the subjects of religion, politics and glaring contrasts on the subject of lifestyles and family allegiance.
Daniel felt he didn't have the words to explain properly why he felt such loyalty to Louis. Louis needed him, was the only thing he felt he could say, without betraying Louis' trust.
Armand had seemed angry but he'd said nothing and Daniel could only hope that this wouldn't spoil their burgeoning friendship.

*Don't you have someone?* he asked as they reluctantly meandered off down the street toward his apartment.

*Yes, of a sort. * Armand smiled wryly.

*I share an apartment with my friend Lestat, about two blocks from here.*

*Lestat?* Daniel breathed * Lestat du Lioncourt?*

Armand sighed, *yes, that Lestat. But don't sound so impressed Daniel, he's not at all as he appears in those dreadful novels of his.*

Daniel laughed. *What? Are you telling me he's short, ugly and sedate?*

Armand turned to him, grinning.

*No, he's as handsome as he thinks he is.
He's just slightly........more than one would expect.*

*More? Oh, he's fat, you mean?*

Armand stopped, doubled over laughing at the thought and Daniel eyed him quizzically.

*No...no. He's just.......oh he's just Lestat. You'll have to meet him to understand.*

Armand slowly straightened, cocking his head slightly to one side as he seemed to listen to something....

*What's that?*

Daniel listened too and heard a small, weak cry for help.

*Oh my God. That's Louis!*

Daniel took off at a run, flying past mortals and dodging traffic, Armand hot on his heels.

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