Thunder kitten's Revenge
By: Thundercatroar
Rated R: It has some "language" in it, and reference to um, "manual stimulation" ahem. If you don't want to be offended, stay away from this. ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS!

Author's Note: If you like sick toilet humor this booger's for you!  I dedicate this to A.J. Angel. >:)

      Wilykit and Wilykat were on their way home to Cat's Lair from the Berbil village arguing in a good natured way, both were unaware that they were being watched.
      Four pairs of dark eyes spied on the children from the undergrowth.  One of the spies raised a hollow tube and waited.
      "I am lots faster than you, 'Kit." Wilykit stuck out her tongue. "No you aren't, i'm faster because i'm older! Only by a few minutes, Wilykit!"  Wilykit looked at her brother, said, "what's that?" Wilykat turned, saw nothing, then looked back to hear her footfalls ahead of him. "Nyaa Nyaa, can't catch me!  Oh, yeah?" And Wilykat gave chase. As the kids raced, their hunters took aim and fired.  Wilykat saw his sister jerk and fall. "WILYKIT!" Screamed Wilykat, he ran, knelt down beside his sister and shook her. Wilykat looked at her neck and saw a small tuft of feathers sticking out of it. Wilykat had but a moment to look around, panic, and contemplate what had happened, he felt a sharp pain in his neck, and the rest was darkness.
 

      Wilykit and Wilykat struggled in futility in a dungeon, they were sitting, bound by their wrists with rope tied on the wall. The siblings soon heard footsteps grow closer to them, and their tormentors made themselves known.
      "Nyahahahaha! You little cats weren't so clever this time were you?" Jackalman said with a sneer. "Hoo, hoo, Come on Jackalman, we're going to Cat's Lair to make our demands in a couple of hours, Hoo! Twenty pounds of diamonds, hoo." Jackalman's laugher was corrosive on the Thunder kitten's ears as he and Monkian turned to leave.
      Wilykit looked at Wilykat and began to wriggle out of her bonds. Soon Wilykit was free, and able to loosen her brother's bonds, then release him.
     Upstairs, Monkian was in the communal bathroom getting ready for the attack. Jackalman watched on, trying to talk some sense into his friend.
    "Nyahahahaha! What are you doing, Monkian? She will never go for you, she's a Thundercat." Monkian sprayed on cologne and brushed his rough hair, and made a "go away" gesture. "Nyaaha! Give it up! She's into that white tiger, "Dumbgali"!" Monkian opened the medicine cabinet and kissed his picture of Pumyra hanging inside. "Hoo, it could happen."  Jackalman made a face. "Nyaa, don't count on it!  You'd stand a better chance with one of those female Trollogs, Monkian!" Monkian jumped. "Hoo! NO! They bite!"  Monkian smiled. "Hoo, i'll catch Pumyra, keep her prisoner, and she'll grow to love me, Hoo!  We'll have a big wedding and build a tree house, hoo!  Then we'll have little monkey cats!  They'd climb really good, hoo!" Jackalman shook his head and left the room as Monkian made a wistful face.

      Finally free of their bonds and over the effects of the sleep darts that the Mutants had used against them, Wilykit and Wilykat were accessing their escape options.  "Look, Wilykat, up there." Wilykit pointed up to an air vent. Wilykat studied it and said, "I guess we're in the dungeons, so all we have to do is climb up with our lariats." Wilykit looked at her brother and laughed. "And they say you are dumb!" Wilykat looked at his sister irritated. "Who says i'm dumb? It's just an expression, 'Kat!"  The two kittens looked at the opposite wall and saw their weapons belts. Wilykat grabbed a pole arm that was leaning against the cell bars outside and slowly reached and strained until he was able to reach the belts that the Mutants had hung on the wall.  Wilykat gathered them in the bill hook and drew the weapon inside with the help of his sister.
      Wilykit and Wilykat then threaded their lariats into the holes in the overhead ventilation grate and pulled. The kids almost didn't accomplish the task, but the grate popped out of the wall with a resounding clang.  Wilykat threw his lariat into the ventilation system and it latched onto a bolt sticking out of the crawlspace. Wilykat tugged the line to make sure that it was secure, then began the task of climbing the rope to their potential freedom.  "Come on, 'Kit hurry up, they'll be going to make their demands soon, maybe we can get back to the Lair before they get there." Wilykit strained and pulled until she got into the air shaft. "Yuck, this is nasty!" Wilykat looked at Wilykit and pulled a handful of slime up with his claws. "Want a taste?" Wilykit pushed her brother by his backside. "Come on, let's get out of here, smarty cat!"
      Wilykit and Wilykat slogged along the sticky floors of the air vents of Castle Plundarr looking for their space boards and the exit in disgust, Wilykit finally said, "Wilykat, I think we're lost." Wilykat turned to look at his sister. "Do you want to ask for directions?" Wilykit stuck out her tongue.  Soon they came to a delta of connections that lead to other parts of the Castle. The two were extremely quiet when they hear S-S-Slithe talking, or rather yelling at Jackalman and Monkian.  They smelled something extremely bad, they saw a Jackalman stirring a pot, they were in the kitchen area.  They positioned themselves slightly away from the vent and watched.
      Monkian and Jackalman were standing in the kitchen with bowls in their hands, S-S-Slithe knocked the vessels out of the two Mutant's hands and yelled at them.  "What are you idiots-s-s-s doing? Nyahahaha, we're hungry, S-S-Slithe! Hoo! Yeah!"  S-S-Slithe knocked the two down with his tail. "Morons-s-s-s! We're leaving in ten minutes-s-s! Get on your vehicles-s-s and ready for the attack, yes-s-s-s?  We'll eat when we get back!" The two skittered out of the kitchen in fear and S-S-Slithe shook his head as he left.  Wilykit and Wilykat waited for a few minutes. Wilykit looked at her brother.
      "I guess they're all gone. Yeah." Wilykat looked at his sister wickedly. "You thinking what i'm thinking?" Wilykit looked at Wilykat with the same wicked look. "'Kit, do you still have those castor seeds?" Wilykit stifled a snicker. "Here." Wilykat took his foot and mashed the seeds as best he could, he then opened the vent with one hand and tossed the mashed seeds and the bag that held them into the Mutant's stew pot.  Wilykat and his sister watched with mischievous glee as the slowly simmering pot swallowed the evil concoction. Wilykit looked at her brother and laughed. "I have an idea."  Wilykit and Wilykat crawled their way though the Castle vents seemingly for hours, searching for the Mutant's bathrooms. Wilykat was confused. "Gosh Wilykit, maybe they don't have a bathroom, maybe they don't have to go." Wilykit sighed. "Wilykat they HAVE to have to go to the bathroom, they eat don't they?" Wilykat shrugged. "I guess."
      The siblings were about to give up their lengthy search when they saw a low light coming from a vent, they looked down and saw the filthy, one toilet bathroom.  The kittens held their noses in an almost futile attempt to protect their noses from the putrid odor. "Gods, Widykat! I dnow 'Kit, I dnow!"  Wilykit still holding her nose opened the bathroom vent. "Widykat, gib be a goo peddet. A whad?" Wilykit un pinched her nose. "Give me a glue pellet!" Wilykit quickly pinched her nose again.  Wilykat gave his sister a glue pellet, she broke it and watched the sticky slime drip lazily down on the toilet seat, it was difficult to concentrate and hit the seat with the goo, because Wilykat was laughing like a lunatic, which was making her laugh and shake.  The two looked at each other, Wilykat said,  "Comb ond, leb's get oub ob here!" Wilykit looked at her brother. "Wahd?" Wilykat un pinched his nose. "Come on, let's get out of here. Ohd."  With that Wilykat and Wilykit headed for the hangar area they had passed earlier, where their space boards were.
      Snarf walked into the control room. "Brrrr, have any of you
heard anything out of the Thunder kittens? I called the Berbil village and they said that the kittens left hours ago." As Snarf said that phrase, the Lair alarms went off.  Tygra looked at the monitors. "Gods, it's the Mutants!" Pumyra growled, "Wonder what's on their tiny minds."
      All of the Thundercats loaded up in their respective vehicles to stomp the lackluster menace,  but stopped when S-S-Slithe held up the Thunder kitten's boots.  S-S-Slithe addressed the Thundercats.
      "I wouldn't be s-s-s-so quick to attack , your Highness-s-s-s."  S-S-Slithe said with a sneer. He laughed and made his demands.  "I want twenty pounds-s-s-s of diamonds-s-s-s or else your precious-s-s-s-s Thunder kittens-s-s-s will be executed.  You have one hour to comply, your Highness-s-s-s! Don't you dare attack, either!  One word from me," S-S-Slithe held up a communicator, "and the Kittens-s-s-s will be a warm, wet, s-s-s-splatter on the dungeon walls-s-s-s of Cassstle Plundarr, heh, heh, heh!"
      S-S-Slithe crossed his arms with great self satisfaction and looked at the Thundercats with contempt.  Lion-O looked at the others and was going to retort when the group heard a familiar dual whine.  S-S-Slithe turned, and the Thundercats looked up  with relief and saw the Thunder kittens sailing above their heads to the Cat's Lair and safety.  Lion-O looked at the other Thundercats, they had angry looks on their faces.  Lion-O held the Sword of Omens above his head and shouted, "THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDERCATS  HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The sword grew, the Thundercat symbol lit up the sky, and the Thundercat's eyes glowed yellow as they shouted, "HO" with triumphantly raised arms.

      Jackalman and Monkian looked at each other. Monkian said, "Oh, shit, hoo!"

      Lion-O took his claw shield and fired a line into a tree branch, jumped up and swung into S-S-Slithe with his extended legs and feet, sending the massive Reptilian sailing painfully into a tree.
      Tygra turned invisible and tripped Vultureman then picked him up and hurled him into the flying machine, he took off and left. Tygra's attention then turned to other Mutants.
      Panthro picked up four Mutants and bashed them together until they were senseless, he dropped them and they ran.  Panthro picked up a straggler and hurled him into the running three knocking them down. Panthro said with a laugh, "HA HA! Don't forget your girlfriend!"  Panthro then began indiscriminately pummeling other Mutants, and relishing it.
      Cheetara streaked over to Jackalman and crammed the end of her staff into Jackalman's buttocks, forcing his loincloth painfully into his backside, Cheetara felt she owed it to him for his part in switching she and Tygra.  Cheetara would have given chase, but she felt in a small way she owed Jackalman a favor too, so she let him go.
      Bengali fired warning energy blasts at a mob of Mutant soldiers that were running away, the Thunder kittens gave chase to them and finished what Bengali started, by throwing various pellets at them. The mob ran away itching, rubbing their eyes, and blinded by light.  Bengali's attention turned to everyone else, and looked to see if he could help anyone out. Bengali would have run to help Pumyra, but he was tackled by a Reptilian, and had to fight him.
       Pumyra threw a punch at Monkian, he blocked it and grabbed her arm, she tried with the other fist and the Monkian grabbed it and held her steady. "Hoo, you are mine now, pretty puma." Pumyra struggled bravely but she stopped when the Monkian winked at her and said,  "Hoo, hoo, give me a kiss!" Monkian pulled Pumyra closer and sighed when her body met his.  Monkian then puckered his lips, and almost had his touching her's, when Cheetara clocked him on the head with her staff.  Pumyra's eyes widened with anger, she drew her leg back and rose her knee up with great force.  Monkian made a high pitched groan of pain and gripped himself as he fell to the ground, Panthro, Lion-O, Bengali, and Tygra made faces of pain, and unconsciously guarded themselves. Monkian picked himself up and ran towards his Skycutter and painfully took off.
        Lion-O slung the Sword of Omens to his side and pulled it up, as it shrunk. Lion-O looked at his compatriots and asked, "Is everyone alright?" Everyone looked at each other and agreed that they were.  Lion-O turned to the Thunder kittens. "We sure are glad that you two are all right, how did you get free?" Wilykit and Wilykat burst out into laughter and had to lean against each other to keep from falling. Cheetara looked at the two with a smile. "What's so funny?" The Thunder kittens told the other Thundercats what they had done, and everyone burst out laughing, and went back into Cat's Lair.

      Jackalman,  Monkian, and the rest of the Mutants arrived back at Castle Plundarr. S-S-Slithe looked at the Mutants angrily. "All of you idiots-s-s can eat now, yes-s-s-s?" S-S-Slithe held his stomach and made his way inside. "Nyaha, Monkian, come on, something to eat will make you feel better." Monkian looked at Jackalman with a wicked smile. "Hoo, she touched me!" Jackalman made a face. "Nyahahaha! She didn't touch you, she kicked you in the..." S-S-Slithe interrupted, "Come on you two jackassses-s-s-s, and eat," S-S-Slithe mocked the two. "I thought you were, nyahahaha,and hoo hoo, hungry, yes-s-s-s-s?"  Jackalman walked into the kitchen. "Coming, Monkian? Hoo, no." Monkian said sadly as he walked painfully towards the upstairs toilet.
      Jackalman got a big bowl of the stinking stew and swallowed a big spoonful. S-S-Slithe sat down and would have started eating but when he put his spoon in his bowl to get a mouthful, be brought up an empty, clear plastic bag, he pushed his bowl away, Jackalman grabbed it and ate greedily before any of the others could get it. Jackalman didn't realize he was the only one eating.
      Monkian opened the medicine cabinet and got out some aspirin he stole from a Tabbott's purse. Monkian popped a tablet into his mouth and looked at his surveillance picture of Pumyra, he almost lovingly stroked it, when he did, it fell off of the cabinet door and fell on the floor. Monkian painfully bent down to pick it up, he grabbed the toilet seat to support himself.  Monkian looked at the picture for a moment, then made a movement to rise, he was horrified when he discovered his hand was stuck to the seat.  Monkian then hooted and made violent movements, trying desperately to free himself.
      Jackalman helped himself to a fourth bowl of stew, the other Mutants watched in amazement, Vultureman could contain himself no longer. "Cawww! You can't possibly like that, it doesn't taste right, Jackalman!"  Jackalman looked up, he had quit using his spoon, he was eating straight out of the bowl.  Jackalman gurgled, "It tasted good to me!"   Stew was beginning to dry on his muzzle, caking the fur on it in a disgusting manner.  S-S-Slithe looked at Jackalman in disgust over his table manners, a rarity.
       "Jackalman, it looks like you are eating a bowl of s-s-s-s-s-s.." S-S-Slithe was interrupted by the sounds of a angrily hooting Monkian coming from upstairs. S-S-Slithe said with anger, "Vultureman, Go s-s-see what that dumbas-s-s-s-s is-s-s-s up to, yes-s-s-s?" Vultureman walked slowly towards the door, but ran when S-S-Slithe pounded his fist on the table, by then Jackalman's enthusiastic eating had stopped as quickly as it begun. Jackalman looked up with a frown at S-S-Slithe and said, "Nyaaha, I don't feel so good." Jackalman's stomach rumbled with a wet sound as he said it.  "S-s-s-serves-s-s-s you right you greedy Jackal!" S-S-Slithe said with disgust.
      Monkian finally freed himself with a jerk. Monkian sniffed his hand and tried to figure out what was on his hand, after a few moments of being unable to ascertain what the foreign substance was, and he was satisfied that it wasn't fecal, Monkian wiped his hand on his white fur.  To Monkian's horror, it stuck.
      Vultureman made it to the top of the stairs in time to hear a yell of pain and thrashing around.  Monkian walked out of the bathroom and met Vultureman in the hallway.  Vultureman began to snicker then laugh when he saw the picture of Pumyra in one hand then the shaggy coating of white hair on the other.  Vultureman finally lost it.
      "CAWWW, HAHAHAHAHA! I thought that was an old wife's tale!" Monkian looked at Vultureman clueless, as the avian continued to laugh, then began to add the evidence in his head and hooted in anger as he hid his hand. "Hoo, Hoo! shut up, Vultureman, i'll spread your head open, hoo!" Vultureman continued laughing as Monkian offered to harm him in other nasty ways, the two stopped arguing when they heard hurried footsteps running upwards.
      Vultureman and Monkian stopped arguing when they saw Jackalman running at top speed towards them screaming, "NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MOVE!"
Monkian and Jackalman complied, and the two watched Jackalman make a mad dash for the toilet and barely make it before violent noise exited him.  Vultureman and Monkian looked at each other, held their noses, and closed the bathroom door for Jackalman as he groaned and emptied in an explosive manner.

      Jackalman moaned in discomfort for an hour as Vultureman and Monkian sat on the floor, howled in humor, and Monkian gave his hand a haircut. Jackalman in between his bursts of agony offered to kill them both.
      Finally Jackalman was satisfied that he was finished so he flushed.  Jackalman was grateful that the toilet didn't overflow.  Jackalman then already exhausted, attempted to rise from his throne to find that he was firmly planted on it.  "Nyahahahahahaha! I'm stuck! Help me!" Jackalman plaintively whined. "Caww! I'm not helping you heh heh, heh! Hoo, Hoo, me neither, GENERAL!" Jackalman continued to whine, eventually the two aural voyeurs went into the bathroom to see what was wrong with the Jackalman.
    Jackalman gave Monkian and Vultureman a look of complete misery, the two standing Mutants felt a twinge of mercy and tried to pull Jackalman up, he wouldn't budge from the seat.  After some close inspection, the two discovered that Jackalman's fur was firmly planted on the seat.  Monkian looked at Vultureman. "There was something sticky on the seat earlier, that's why I have hair stuck on my hand, hoo. Caww, yeah right, Monkian!" Monkian made a face and Vultureman reached into his suit and got out a screwdriver.
      "Caww, i'm going to have to get the seat off the toilet.  I guess we'll have to cut off your hair to free you." Jackalman would have protested, but he was too tired.  In a few moments Vultureman had the toilet seat unscrewed, the Monkian helped him raise the Jackalman.  Monkian made a face. "Hoo, Hoo, we'll have to hose him down first!" The Vultureman looked away from the Jackal, feeling sick himself.
       Mutants had gathered outside the hallway and laughed as Jackalman walked in a bowlegged fashion down the hall.  Monkian and Vultureman offered to carry Jackalman down the stairs but he jerked away from them and attempted to wobbily walk down the steps himself.  Jackalman missed a step and slid roughly down the rest of the two hundred odd steps making a fast, choppy, "NYAHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA" noise as he rattled all the way down, Vultureman, Monkian, and all of Castle Plundarr was in an uproar.
       When Jackalman made it to the bottom of the steps, the toilet seat broke in half, painful though it was, it was a boon to Jackalman because he could walk with more ease.  S-S-Slithe was at the bottom of the steps. "What in the Hell is-s-s wrong with you, Jackalman?" S-S-Slithe hissed. "Nya Ha Ha! My ass is stuck to the toilet seat." S-S-Slithe could not help himself, he laughed and jerked Jackalman up by the nape of his neck.  "Come on you idiot!"
      Vultureman and Monkian snickered as S-S-Slithe dragged Jackalman into the kitchen and unceremoniously threw him on the large butcher's block. Jackalman looked to his side in horror as S-S-Slithe got a large axe hanging down from the wall.  Jackalman whined and asked in fear, "Nyaha, what are you going to do, S-S-Slithe?" S-S-Slithe flexed his fingers and grinned menacingly and took a half of toilet seat in his hand and made a quick downwards slice, separating Jackalman's posterior from the seat. S-S-Slithe repeated the process on the other side and Vultureman, S-S-Slithe, and Monkian were laughing heartily.  Jackalman turned in anger. "Nyahahahaha! What's so funny, then Jackalman felt a draft. "AHHHHH! I'M BALD!" Jackalman ran out of the kitchen and to his room as quickly as possible, trying desperately to hide his scrawny backside.
      Vultureman and Monkian's laughter was interrupted by S-S-Slithe's stern voice.  "You idiots-s-s-s-s pick up thessse pieces-s-s-s, wash them, and glue them back together, yessss? I have alwayssss wanted to have a plussssh toilet s-s-seat." Vultureman and Monkian made a face and carried out S-S-Slithe's order.
The End