Wallie Trouble
Rated PG-13
By: Thundercatroar
Author's note: This takes place like one month after "Darkslayer". This is not my best work, but I have too much typing and time invested to trash it. If you think it sucks I understand completely.  I thought i'd try to write something funny before I tore everybody's lives apart in the Darkslayer universe.  Just wait and see. Mwaahahahahaha!
Thundercatroar@hotmail.com

      Lion-O, Lynxana, Pumyra, Bengali, Cheetara, Tygra, and Panthro were all sitting at the council table discussing future renovations and additions to Cat's Lair.  Lion-O hadn't said so to anyone else, of course, but he had caught both Kera, and Tygro in rather compromising situations with their spouses, more than once.  He figured the next generation of Thundercats were coming, and quickly too.
      Lion-O looked at Panthro, Bengali and Pumyra. "Have any of you seen the Prince, or the Empress this morning?"  All three looked at each other and smiled then shook their heads no to Lion-O .  Lion-O smiled to himself. Ardua and Tyger hadn't come out of their room yet either, and they turned into bed extremely early the night before.
      Panthro looked up. "I hope they come down soon, Ardua said she was going to help me work on the Thundertank.  That reminds me, Tygra, have you seen my filter puller?" Tygra looked at Panthro and said, "No." Panthro scooted back in his chair. "I have looked everywhere and I can't find it." Panthro thought for a moment. "Surely it hasn't up and disappeared like a fart in the wind," The women at the table were repulsed by Panthro's metaphor, and the men laughed.  "i'm sure it'll turn up at some point. I have a spare."
      Panthro looked to his side, Ardua and Tyger walked in arm in arm.  "Good morning all, I trust the Thundercats are well today?"  Said Tyger.  Bengali stood.  "C'mon you two take a load off and talk to us."  After a few moments of idle conversation, Panthro patted Ardua on the shoulder. "C'mon, Empress, the 'Tank awaits." Tyger and Ardua kissed. "I will see YOU later."  With that she set off with her father.  Tyger looked at his mother and father and smiled.  Pumyra held Bengali's hand.
      As the conversation continued, Cheetara's attention was drawn to the window. "Well look who's here, it's 'Kit.  It must be old home week." Cheetara sprang up and sprinted out of the room.
      Snarf entered the kitchen, tied on his apron, and began gathering bowls and ingredients for cake.  Snarf climbed to the top of his wooden stepladder that Tygra and Panthro made for him. As he put ingredients into the bowl, Snarf looked at the end of the counter at a fresh batch of sunberry muffins he had made earlier that morning.
      Wilykit walked into the Lair with a large bag of candy fruit.  Cheetara hugged Wilykit and kissed her cheek. "Kitten, I am glad to see you!" Wilykit looked down at Cheetara's legs. "I am so glad to see that your legs are better now, you been running much? No, i'm still strengthening my muscles for that, as well as cardio-vascular exercises.
       Keena and Tark ran and skittered around Cheetara, until she could no longer ignore them. Cheetara bent down and hugged both kittens at the same time, and handed them each a small piece of candy.  Cheetara smiled at Wilykit as the kids popped the sweet fuel into their mouths.   Wilykit looked at her offspring gently. "What do you say?" The children with full, muffled red mouths said, "Thank you!" and the two set out looking for Lion-O.  Wilykit grinned at Cheetara. Cheetara returned it. "I'm just practicing."  Wilykit looked at Cheetara wide eyed. "Is Kera, or Jella? No, but it's only a matter of time."
      Cheetara went back down the steps with Wilykit, and helped her bring up the last of her load. Cheetara grabbed one box and heard mews. "Wilykit? What's in this box? It's meowing." Wilykit smiled. "Be careful with that one, Ardua wanted two of Thorn and Kammie's kittens, I told her she was welcome to them all if she wanted them." Wilykit opened the box for Cheetara to see. "'Kit, they're adorable. You want one? I have three more at home. No."  Wilykit sighed.  "At first, I suggested we find a good home for the other cat, but the kids wanted to keep Kammie, and we finally relented.  I wished for Kammie to be altered before something like those kittens happened, but before we could have her taken care of, Thorn took care of her,  and two pets turned into seven." Wilykit said dryly as Cheetara tried not to laugh at her.
        "Wilykit, I hope you can stay and talk awhile. Oh, I suppose I will, Cheetara. I'll be on "the list" if the kittens don't get a chance to see Lion-O."  Wilykit sighed. "They want to see the Sword of Omens again.  I told them that the sword wasn't a toy, and that Lord Lion-O might not take it out of the chamber just because two nosy kittens want to see it."
      Lion-O watched Tark well while he held the Sword of Omens. Keena looked at Lion-O with big, red orange eyes. "Can I be a Thundercat someday?" Lion-O stroked his beard. "I don't see why not, you are an upstanding little girl. How about you Tark?"  Tark looked at Lion-O shook his head yes and smiled.  "We'll get the bad guys!  Maybe you will someday, but I won't be Lord of the Thundercats when you two are grown up, Tark, Claud-Us will."  Keena grabbed Lion-O's arm. "Make it get big!" Lion-O grinned and yelled, "HO!" The sword sprang to life, with blue arcs and red glow surrounded it as it grew three sizes to the glee of the children.
     All of the Thundercats, and friends heard the shout and smiled at each another.
      "Okay you two, it's time to let the Eye rest." Lion-O looked at the children they were disappointed, he could understand the wonder and awe the Sword's magic inspired, and why they would want more of a show. Lion-O had used the Sword countless times, but it never ceased to amaze him either.  "Why don't you two go into the control room and play with Snarfer, it's quiet today, and he would love to see you two, i'm sure he can scrounge up some candy for you." With that the two kittens tore as quickly as they could towards the control room.
       Lion-O walked into the council chamber to see Wilykit and talk with the others.
      "Ardua hand me the surge protector for the samoflange, then give me a seven eights socket and wrench, it should be on top of the tool box where I left it." Ardua got out from underneath the Thundertank and looked for the tool.  "So, Empress," Ardua rolled her eyes. "what's it really like ruling Plundarr?" Ardua looked around in the toolbox and around the floor, with increasing irritability. "It's like being in the middle of an ongoing Plundarian fire drill. That or being the warden of an insane asylum, except the inmates are free to come and go as they please.  I don't even want to think about going back." Ardua sighed. "Plundarr will never be home.  Tyger and I couldn't get here fast enough."  Panthro chuckled at Ardua. "Alright, Sweetness, I promise I won't mention your asylum again. Thanks."
      Ardua put her hand on her head and ruffled her hair.  "Dad, I can't find it anywhere, it's like it disappeared or something." Panthro rolled out from underneath the Thundertank and began looking around on the floor.  Panthro shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I put it in the workshop, let's go look." Ardua and her father went into the workshop and began their search.
     Snarf finished putting flour into his cake pan, poured the batter into it, then placed it into the oven.  Snarf looked at his sunberry muffins again, he was going to sample one of them when he noticed something odd about them.  Snarf got down off of his ladder, moved it, and climbed it again.
      "Snarfer, snarfer, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Brrr, ready or not here I come snarfer, snarfer." Keena and Tark held their hands over their mouths and stifled giggles as Snarfer looked for them. Snarfer saw the two hiding behind a control monitor, but decided to allow them to have their fun, and think they had really pulled one over on him.  "Brrr, where could those kids be?" Snarfer could hear the snickers, and giggles getting louder.  "Snarfer, I guess they disappeared."  Snarfer knew his quarry well he backed up near the control monitor, and allowed his tail to be in reach of the kids. Snarfer knew that the children of Wilykit could not resist the temptation to pull his tail.  He was right. "Got you, Snarfer!"  Keena gave Snarfer a gentle tug on his tail, and Snarfer in turn tagged them.  Soon all three were giggling and getting ready for another game of hide and seek. Snarfer's revelry was broken by a scratching noise, he looked up at the air vent, and thought he saw something move, but he thought perhaps that it was his imagination, so continued his playing with the kids.
      Snarf looked more closely at the sunberry muffins he baked that morning. Each of the muffins were in their respective cups in the pan he baked them in, but they were missing their golden, crusty tops.  Snarf looked near the pan, and saw something that was unmistakably something's droppings on the counter.  With that Snarf dashed out of the kitchen and ran to the council room.
      "Lion-OOOOOOOOOOO, Lion-O! Something ate up my muffins!"  The Thundercats looked at Snarf in humor. The old snarf haphazardly rambled into the council room and jumped onto Lion-O's lap. Lion-O looked at his nursemaid, and put him on the floor. "Snarf, calm down. What's the matter? Why are you so upset?" Snarf panted and took a big deep breath. "Snaaaarrfff, something ate up the sunberry muffins and crapped all over my kitchen counter!"
      Bengali looked at the irate snarf, and laughed. "Rowrr, well, Snarf, it wasn't any of us!" Pumyra looked at her mate in a displeased manner, Tygra covered his face, but was shaking, Cheetara was trying desperately not to smile, but the rest of the table was in an uproar. Snarf was indignant as he rose and straightened himself up and sat as tall as he could and said with irritation, "Brrr, laugh it up, snarf, snarf, but if something is getting into the kitchen and crapping all over, it could get into the food all of YOU eat, snarf, snarf!" Snarf was extremely pleased with himself when the room quieted to the extent that a pin dropped onto the floor could be heard.  Lion-O looked at everyone as Snarf ambled out of the room in a huff saying after, "Brrrr, poor old Snarf has nothing better to do than clean up turds, snarf, snarf."  Which brought another round of laughter.  Lion-O looked at his friends. "I guess we'd better set out some mouse traps."
       "Grrr, DAMMIT!" Slammed Panthro. "Where could that damn wrench be? We've looked everywhere!"   Ardua looked at the workshop, it looked like a tornado had hit it.  "You don't think you put it on the undercarriage of the Thundertank anywhere do you, Father?" Panthro settled down, "I usually try not to do stuff like that, but it couldn't hurt to look." With that Ardua and Panthro walked into the hangar, and got underneath the Thundertank.
      Ardua felt the left lip of the wheel and track wells, as she neared the front, she rolled into something wet.  She put her hand in the wetness and smelled it, brake fluid, she looked up. "Father? Yeah, 'Dua? Look, something's chewed up the brake lines.  What?" Panthro scooted over to where Ardua was, and sure enough, brake fluid was on the floor, and the brake lines, all four of them were severed, as if they had been gnawed.  Ardua scooted out from under the Thundertank and let out a blood curdling scream, Panthro at the shock of the scream, hit his head on the underneath of the Thundertank. "DAMMIT 'DUA!"

       Lion-O and the other heard the scream, and Panthro's rant through the ventilation system, they all jumped up and ran towards the hangar.
       Panthro got out from the underneath of the vehicle and said, "What in the cat's eyed cosmos is the matter with you, girl?" Ardua scrambled to the top of the Thundertank pointed and screamed, "KILL THAT DAMN THING!"   Panthro turned to see a wallie, scrambling for an open vent as fast as it could go, carrying one of his wrenches.  Panthro dashed towards the animal, but it put on a burst of speed, and dodged into the hole before Panthro could get to it.
     Lion-O and the others poured into the hangar. "Panthro, is everything alright?"   Tyger laughed at his wife. "Why are you up there, 'Dua?" Panthro answered before she had a chance. "It's just a wallie, Ardua! You can come down now." Panthro said with a giggle. Ardua got down off of the Thundertank, and looked sheepishly at the others.  A mixture of shame and embarrassment flashed over her for being afraid of the rodent.  Ardua mustered what dignity she felt she could as her father and the other Thundercats laughed. Panthro stopped laughing when he looked at his tool box. Panthro's face contorted. "Th-th-h-THAT DAMN THING DEFILED MY FAVORITE TOOL BOX!" The Thundercats looked at Panthro's tool box and began to giggle at him.
      Panthro got a towel and picked up a neat pile of scat that the wallie deposited in it.  The others stood back as Panthro knelt down and screamed violent threats to an uncomprehending animal through the air vent, and tried desperately not to laugh, lest Panthro's venom be loosed on them.
      Later Panthro, Lion-O, and Tygra set out wire box traps and baited them with Snarf's muffins with the intention of trapping it alive, at Cheetara and Bengali's insistence.
      Later, in the evening, no one could sleep.  Cat's Lair's uninvited guest spent the entire evening running the air ducts of the Lair. Everyone reacted in their own way.
      Panthro stood on his bed, with a flashlight shining into the opened air vent, he had placed a small trail of cake into the vent for the wallie to
      "That's right ya' little bastard, come to Panthro, I put out some yummy cake for you." Panthro said in a sing song way as he clicked the safety off of his ray pistol, thought of Cheetara's request, and reluctantly put it on stun.  The wallie peeked down the air vent from the end of the turn at Panthro. "That's it, come on," Said Panthro with a cajoling voice. "I won't hurt you. Much." Panthro added with an afterthought. The Wallie's eyes glowed in Panthro's light, it turned and scampered in the other direction. "DAMMIT GET BACK HERE!"  Panthro jumped up and down, lost his balance and fell off of the bed, knocking his lamp off of the night stand and breaking it. A torrent of obscenities poured from Panthro's mouth.
      The wallie wasn't bothering Cheetara or Tygra at all, in fact they were relishing the entertainment as they both sat in their bed and guffawed at Panthro's less than polite grasp of the Lord's language. Panthro screamed through the vent, "OH! GROW UP, DAMMIT!" Which made Cheetara and Tygra laugh more.
      "Terron, will you put down the C-4. Lion-O already said we couldn't use any explosives. But it will be fun. That's what I said, and Lion-O still said no."  Terron looked at Kera.  "I'm bored." Kera looked at Terron. "Want to make love?" Terron thought for a moment. "Okay."
      Tygro and Jella listened to the scratching above their heads.  Jella growled and turned to Tygro. "All I need is a thermo camera, and a charged pistol." Tygro looked at his wife. "You are so violent!" Jella pointed upwards making a circular motion with her finger.  "I can't pay attention to my needlepoint with that Gods damned wallie running around!"  Tygro watched Jella continue to make stitches.  The stitches were beginning to resemble a laser rifle. "Jella, sweetie? What?" Jella looked upwards again in irritation. "How in the world did you get interested in a....um,  feminine hobby like needlepoint?" Jella growled and threw the hoop, thread, and her needle across the room. "Because it calms me down!  My healer said that I needed to cut down on my stress." Jella said through gritted teeth.  Tygro stroked his mate's hair. "Don't the soldiers in your outfit tease you? They used to. I took it for awhile, but it got to the point when they wouldn't stop, and I was sick of it," Jella paused.  "forcing me to kick the crap out of all of them." Tygro looked at Jella with wide eyes, he had seen the men in Jella's platoon. They were monsters. She continued. "They don't say anything anymore.  A few of them don't have many teeth left, though I did try to be gentle."  Tygro turned over in bed and tried to sleep, a little more uncomfortably.
        Pumyra and Bengali snored in unison as the wallie scratched it's claws in their section of the vent.
        Ardua looked up at the ceiling, she shook her head, and continued to read her father's latest technical manual.  Ardua turned to see Tyger exit the steaming bathroom, fresh from a shower. Ardua looked up, admired her mate, and looked back in the manual. Tyger took Ardua's book, marked it's place, and put it on the nightstand.  "Give me that." Tyger shook his head. "Was it not you who said that you would see me later in a suggestive tone earlier today?" Ardua looked at Tyger with a sideways smile. "I didn't mean it."  Ardua petted the small kittens on the bed.  "Well, Tyger, what are you going to name your kitten?" Tyger thought for a moment. "I'm leaning towards Gingersnap. Ardua made a face. "Bleaahh! Gingersnap?" Asked Ardua. "It's better than Destroyer." Said Tyger. "Destroyer's a cute name." Quipped Ardua. "Ardua, Destroyer is not a cute name!"
       Ardua put Destroyer and Gingersnap into the box Wilykit brought them to the Lair in, and pulled Tyger onto the bed. The romantic interlude was interrupted by the scratching of the wallie. "Tyger stop it." Tyger continued. "Tyger listen." Tyger's hand moved down her side. "Dammit, Tyger quit!" Ardua pulled Tyger's ear tuft, making him yelp in pain. Ardua Pointed. "Look."  They both looked in the mirror on the bureau, and saw a pair of glowing eyes staring through the air vent.  Tyger growled, "That's it, i'm killing that thing!"
      Lion-O walked down the hall with Lynxana in tow, and went into the sword chamber.
      Lion-O picked up the Sword of Omens and looked through the hilt.  "Sword of Omens give me sight beyond sight, show me where the wallie is." The Sword showed Lion-O nothing. "Lion-O why don't we just wait it out?" Lion-O wasn't impressed with Lynxana's proposal.  Lion-O exited the chamber and went into the council room.  Lynxana followed, and tried not to giggle audibly at Lion-O.  He turned and cut her a look.
     Eventually everyone got up and wound up in the council room. Panthro growled. "I say we gas the little bas.." Cheetara interrupted. "We can't just kill it!" Panthro scowled. "Yes we can! It crapped up MY tool box, it deserves to die!  Brrr, yeah snarf, snarf, it ate up my muffins too!" Tyger looked at Ardua. "Maybe we can take some string and tie it around Destroyer, and Gingersnap, and send them after the wallie?" The Thundercats looked at Ardua and Tyger. "Gingersnap?" Ardua Pointed to Tyger, then looked at him.  "Are you nuts? The kittens will get lost, die, and stink up the Lair!" Tyger thought a moment. "We won't be here for that." Ardua acted as if she was considering Tyger's proposal, then tapped the side of his head.
      Kera listened to the scramble of claws on metal. "Why won't you let me and Terron blast it out?" All of the Thundercats looked at Kera and said a resounding, "No!"  Cheetara sighed, and looked at her daughter. "Kera, explosives do not solve all of life's problems." Kera looked at her mother. "They took care of the...Kera!" Scolded Cheetara. Kera quieted and Tygra looked at Cheetara, Cheetara wouldn't give Tygra any eye contact. Tygra eyed his mate. "Is that where my..... " Cheetara looked at Tygra, but said nothing.  She smiled inside. Tygra strummed his fingers on the table, and was glad to have an excuse to buy new astro-golf clubs.
      Lion-O looked up as the scratching noise went overhead, he motioned for everyone to be quiet.  Lion-O and soon the others were following the scrambles, as time wore on they were led closer and closer to the attic of the Lair.  The hunters opened the attic door and crowded into the poorly lit room, they could barely make out the wallie crawling out of an air vent, and into a box.  Panthro stealthily moved over to the air vent and closed it, then Cheetara turned on a light.  Lion-O opened the lid  to the box to find a frightened wallie with six pink hairless babies scattered around her, along with Panthro's shiny tools.  Bengali pushed past everyone. "Aww, aren't they cute?" Bengali took off his shirt, picked up the wallie, and pet it, though it had tried to bite him.  Soon the wallie was trilling and nuzzling Bengali, as he put his shirt into the box.  The others smiled as Bengali put the female down and placed her babies next to her, then closed the box, and picked it up.
       Bengali looked at Pumyra and grinned. "You're not bringing those into our room are you?" Bengali said nothing, but gave Pumyra a pleading look.  Pumyra shook her head and threw up her hands and said, "All right, but if it makes a mess, you're cleaning it!"
       The Thundercats stuck their heads out of the doorway as Bengali and Pumyra walked down the hall. "You act like a little cub sometimes, you know that?"  The others laughed, and went to bed.
                            The End