Willow rose slowly from the bed she had been lying in and walked over to the tinted window. She stared outside at a blazing sun, but she could feel none of its warmth.

“Willow, come back to bed,” a coaxing voice came from behind her. She immediately obeyed for she knew what would happen if she refused his order.

“You’re going to enjoy this, baby,” Angelus said as he chained her to the wall. Though the torture he inflicted on her was painful, Willow never asked him to stop. How could she beg for mercy when she deserved whatever Angelus did to her?

Do what you want

Cause I'll do anything and

I'll take the blame

Willow remembered the first moment she and Angel had met. That memory was forever burned in her mind. They had been so innocent then. Strange to call a vampire who had lived through two centuries innocent, but he was. Angel had fallen for her and the feelings he had for her were all new.

Though Angel loved her, he had been terrified of admitting that he needed her. He believed that he should spend the rest of his days alone and miserable. Willow had tried to make him see that his beliefs were wrong. But she failed over and over. She had been so hopeful that she could make Angel change his mind, but that hope soon faded and she began to believe that she and Angel would not be together. Only when she almost died was he able to confess his love for her.

Willow’s mind came back to the present and she glanced at her lover. He had that look on his face that she knew so well. And, she knew what she had to do.

What's mine is yours

You can have all of it and

I learn to beg

A smile flashed across Angelus’ face as Willow began to beg for more. Every time she begged him for more pain was a sign of how much he controlled her. To Angelus, complete and utter power over someone was the ultimate pleasure.

As Willow begged Angelus to abuse her more, her mind was again in the past. This time she recalled the night that she had first fallen asleep in his arms. He had told her that nothing else mattered when he was with her. She had held him as he cried in her arms about all the pain he had caused. Willow had told him over and over how much she loved him and he had fallen asleep to her soothing tones.

In your endless summer night

I’ll be on the other side

When you’re beautiful and dying

All the world that you’ve denied

When the water is too deep

You can close your eyes and really sleep tonight

Tonight

The happiness she had felt as she fell asleep that night was like nothing she had ever experienced before and Willow knew that she had finally found someone who would never hurt her. The only thing Angel would give her was love. And, she was right. Angel did give her love, but how was she to know that their love would be their downfall?

The day after she and Angel first made love was not what she had expected. She had woken up to find all her friends surrounding her. At first, she thought they were sleeping, but the truth soon became clear. Every person she loved had been killed by the thing that had taken over her lover’s body.

Even with the horrifying scene in front of her, Willow could not make herself leave. Every time, she tried to walk out the door, another memory of what Angel had once been flashed through her mind. Deep in her heart, Willow knew that she would never again hold the man she loved, but she still couldn’t leave him.

I wait alone

For what will never come and

I throw it all away

Satisfied with the wounds that were evident on Willow’s body, Angelus unchained her and carried her to the bed. What followed could never be mistaken for making love. Angelus thrust in and out of Willow, uncaring that she was not experiencing any pleasure. After he finished using her body, Angelus fell asleep.

Willow stared at the face she had become to know so well. Even now, she was startled by how such evil could be contained in so much beauty.

Your beauty blinds

If I let you in

Under my skin

And risen

Every angel slain

As Willow lay back, glad that Angelus was sleeping, she knew she could expect a few days peace from him as her wounds healed. It was a routine she had been through many times.

The memory of their first time once again ran through Willow’s mind. (Angel told me that he would never leave me. How safe that made me feel. If only I had known what was in store for me).

He said he'd never ever, ever go and

Heavens, heavens, heavens no and

Never ever, ever go away

Willow remembered how she had lain in his arms and memorized every feature. It seemed so strange to Willow that she still loved looking at his face while he was sleeping. Watching Angelus sleep was the only real pleasure she had anymore. He looked so innocent and Willow could pretend that nothing had changed. She could pretend that he family and friends were still alive. And, most of all, she could pretend that she had never lost the man she loved.

But, all too soon, her fantasies came to a halt. Angelus woke with a growl, making his hunger known. He rose from the bed and walked over to the closet. Willow watched him move. If beauty could ever be used to describe a male, it would be Angelus.

Your beauty blinds

I know what you are running to

Please come back

Oh, come back again

I hear the truth

It’s coming from you

Oh come back

Won’t come back again

He began to get dressed and Willow knew the mortality rate of Sunnydale would rise tonight. She wanted to beg him to stay with her, but knew how futile that would be. She had no power over Angelus, unless she counted his sexual need for her a power. And Willow didn’t. The only reason Angelus had sex with her was to punish her for daring to bring him happiness.

He would come back at dawn, sated with the blood of the innocent people he had killed. Dawn was the only time that Angelus ever pleasured her. Willow hated herself for looking forward to those moments because her pleasure was dependent on how many lives were lost.

After Angelus gave her an orgasm or two, he pulled her to him and held her until she fell asleep. Those were the only times that Willow never wanted to leave him. But her desire to stay with Angelus forever faded as soon as the morning came.

When the glitter fades in the morning

Turn away and you will find my empty eyes

Your beauty blinds

But Willow still could not bring herself to leave. She had once promised Angel that she would love him forever. Though she knew that the man she had made that promise to no longer existed, Willow could not make herself break that promise.

Angelus finished dressing and coldly told her to be awake when he came back. Willow watched him walk out the door, knowing she couldn’t deny him anything.

I know that you are rotten to the core

I know that you don’t love me anymore

I know that you are rotten to the core

It seemed only minutes when Angelus returned when it had really been hours. As Angelus tossed his blood-stained clothes to the floor and lay next to her, Willow finally broke the promise she had made so long ago. She plunged the stake in Angelus’ heart and watched as the man she had once loved disappeared into a pile of ashes.

The enormity of what she had done hit Willow and she began to sob. She cried for a love that had ended in such tragedy and she cried for all the innocent people that had died at Angelus’ hands.

Willow touched the ashes one more time, knowing that Angel was finally at peace. She then walked out of the room that had witnessed the beginning of her relationship with Angel to the end of it.

Before she closed the door for the last time, she stood in the doorway and let the memories wash over her. “Wherever you are, Angel, I hope you know how much I loved you.” Willow then closed the door and walked away, ready for her new life to begin.