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“Thomas!”
.....Uh oh… .....I had heard her use that tone with others before – Tulio, my roommate, got it especially often – but I didn’t remember looking at any other women, so I had no idea what I had done to earn me the out-for-blood voice. .....“Young Tomas has gotten himself in a spot of trouble,” Tulio laughed, glancing over from his bunk with a mischievous grin plastered across his face. I was fairly sure I caught a tiny glimmer of what may have been respect in his expression. It was certainly nothing I had ever seen aimed at me before. “What’d you do?” .....“I honestly have no idea.” .....“Wow...” He was clearly impressed this time. “You’ve got the innocent act down pat.” He grinned again. “How much have you gotten away with in all this time? You’ve got to teach me your secrets.” .....“My secret is I don’t do anything!” .....The Spaniard winked knowingly at me just as she rapped loudly on the door, bellowing my name. “Hell hath no fury, eh?” he chuckled as he crossed to the door and opened it. He contrived to look as sincere as possible. .....“The kid says he’s innocent.” .....“Get out, Tulio.” .....“But I...” .....“Out!” .....He mumbled something under his breath that would normally have earned him at least a kick to the shin, but she was clearly upset enough that even this didn’t distract her. She continued glaring at me until the door closed, then immediately erupted. .....“What is this?!” .....I glanced down at the fist she had thrust toward me. She was clutching something soft and pale brown. .....“Feathers?” .....“What kind of feathers?” .....“Bird...feathers?” .....“Turkey feathers!” .....“Oh. Yeah. The turkey. What’s the problem?” .....She pressed her fingertips to her temples, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. After a moment, she opened her eyes and continued quietly. .....“Why did you do this?” .....“You asked me to get the turkey for Thanksgiving.” .....“I expected you to go to the store like a normal person!” she yelled. .....“What difference does it make?” .....“You killed the turkey!” .....“Someone else had to kill the turkey at the store...” .....“But I don’t know those turkeys! You don’t kill named animals and eat them for dinner!” .....“You named a wild turkey?” .....“Yes! I did!” She glared at me for a very calculated period of time, then continued in a low, embittered growl. “His name was Thomas.” .....I was shocked, but had picked up enough from Tulio to know not to let on. I instead decided to use her sarcasm against her. .....“And I suppose you named the deer, too?” .....Oops. She hadn’t found the deer yet. .....Her eyes flew open and her lip trembled a bit. I hadn’t meant to hurt her, but she’d been the one to barge in yelling at me for no reason. When she spoke, her voice was deceptively flat. .....“I hate you.” .....“Oh, come on! You love it when I bring home venison!” .....“You expect me to eat Artemis?!” .....“Artemis was the doe, right?” .....I had definitely been spending too much time with Tulio. .....Her exasperated bellow broke my heart. Why was I doing this to her? .....Because she was being moody and unreasonable. I had done nothing wrong. This was ridiculous, and, though I might have let her push me around like this when I was younger, it’s amazing what a little bit of self esteem does for your attitude. I didn’t have to take this, and now I could dish it out, too. .....But was that such a good thing? .....“You’ve got 24 hours to be out.” She turned and headed for the door. .....I caught her before she reached it and touched her shoulder gently. She stiffened and shook my hand free. .....“Get. Packed.” .....Without so much as looking at me, she flung the door open. There was a thunk! and a string of the kind of Spanish words you don’t learn in school. Tulio came in rubbing the side of his head. .....“She never called that turkey Thomas.” he said, matter-of-factly. “Manipulative witch...” .....“What?” .....“It’s name was Tom. You know, Tom the Turkey? Gobble, gobble?” He looked at me expectantly, then changed the subject when he saw no recognition in my expression. “So, you up for a movie tomorrow?” .....“Tulio, I’m out of here.” .....He looked puzzled. .....“She kicked me out.” .....“Oh! That! No, Thomas, don’t worry about that. I’ve been kicked out more times than I can count.” .....“No, Tulio. I screwed up big. I killed her turkey. And her deer.” .....“Kid, do you remember the time I was supposed to pick her up from the airport?” .....“Yeah...” .....“And she had to call a cab...?” .....“Yeah...” .....“And it wound up being that guy with only six fingers and one eye who spoke nothing but Klingon the entire ride?” .....“Um...yeah...” .....“I forgot to get her because I was a little preoccupied with someone that night. If you know what I mean. Winkwinknudgenudge.” .....“You stranded her at the airport because you were out with a girl?’ .....“I was in with a girl, actually. Her best friend.” .....My jaw dropped. He seemed to be bragging. .....“And you’re still here?” .....“Yup. This whole turkey/deer hissy fit thing will blow over in a few hours, and she’ll forget all about it. Just watch.” .....I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head in disbelief. .....“Animal lovers until dinner time... I will never understand this twenty-first century hypocrisy.” .....“Neither will I, Kid,” Tulio said, flopping on his bed and stretching out languidly. He flipped open a dirty magazine to a picture of a rather well endowed young lady. “Neither will I. Oh...A PhD in Astrophysics and a triple-D...” He turned the magazine sideways. “Very nice...” |
Thomas is owned by Disney, though I'd be willing to bet that only about three people in the entire company are aware of this. Tulio is Dreamworks'. Animated Lust (Rated PG!) and the harem concept are, of course, Kat's, as is the concept of the Drabble. Quite a talented lady, that Kat ;^)
