MORMONISM... MINGLED WITH MEMETICS

LET'S FACE IT

 

CHURCH PRACTICES, PROGRAMS, AND POLICIES THAT DON'T WORK

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

 

* Definition: Something qualifies as a failure if attempts to achieve a goal are consistently unsuccessful. In the rational world repeated failure means that there is an unknown factor or factors that are getting in the way of achieving the desired result. Progress occurs when analysis either reveals the nature of these unknown factors and enables them to be overcome or determines that a goal is unreachable. Thus, failure is the mother of progress.

In the LDS Church -- even more so than in other bureaucratic systems, however, failure does not lead to progress. Because of the meme of Inspired Revelation, which leads to the assumption that church practices, programs, and policies are god's will, failure implies sin -- not only evil acts and thoughts, but also simply not being good enough or not trying hard enough. Open discussion of possible objective reasons for consistent failure is taboo. Because of the extreme limiting of decision-making channels in the LDS Church (an organizational meme that meshes with the philosophical meme of Inspired Revelation -- see Kinds of Memes, Mormons, and Apostasy), rank-and-file Mormons have no formal power to influence church practices, programs, and policies. The most they can do is lobby local leaders for minor changes in local practices, recognizing that the Lord often sends revelation through other individuals (a meme that tries to reconcile "Inspired Revelation" with reality).

However, the fact remains that most members of the Mormon Church are guilt-racked because of their inability to live up to church expectations. We need to help them see that these church practices, programs, and policies don't work!

 

Let's face it... HOMETEACHING IS INHUMANE

Most Mormons wish that they could speak openly with their hometeachers about the things that are on their mind, much as they would with a good friend. However, this is rarely possible because people are usually paired up arbitrarily in the church rather than given the chance to choose whom they work and interact with in the church. This practice of arbitrary pairing, which has no basis in mormon scripture, prevents the formation of cohesive social structures that would undermine or compete with the official church structure!

As a result, hometeachers (and missionaries) rarely operate cohesively and true friendship with one's "hometeachees" is rarely achieved. One companion dozes off while the other speaks. Usually only one actively interacts with listeners or investigators at an appointment. Arbitrary pairing also leads to low trust between companions, which helps keep them from taking liberties in their duties. By my estimates, no more than one-third of missionary companionships have a high degree of compatibility and friendship. This number is constistent for virtually all missionaries, which implies that failure to have a good relationship with one's companion is not the result of sin ("pride," "selfishness," "lack of love," etc. etc.) but of objective factors.

The failure in hometeaching is that almost all wards and branches of the LDS Church are in a never-ending struggle to bring hometeaching statistics closer to 100%. Most are perenially in the range of 50-75%, while congregations outside of the United States demonstrate more variance.

 

Let's face it... THE "M" WORD IS A NEARLY UNIVERSAL PHENOMENON

"Masturbation" -- a word that most mormons have a hard time saying out loud. Because most mormons between 15 and 60 either do it and are trying to repent or have "recently quit." What a ton of wasted energy!

My experience as an Elder's Quorum President at BYU (it was a mere three years ago...) showed me that probably half of male BYU students were currently "struggling" with masturbation and pornography. Most young men "struggle" to be worthy for their missions, "struggle" through their missions, and continue the "struggle" after their missions. Most of these strugglers prefer not to discuss their struggle with others and dread confessing to the bishop or mission president. Bishops and mission presidents (at least in countries where the church has been americanized to the point that local members view sexuality the same way as American mormons) simply "do their best" to handle the steady stream of iniquity. Many BYU bishops are tired of the endless battle with masturbation and pornography in the face of their repeated "admonitions" and purges among the young men. If they make it their personal crusade to cleanse the young men, they meet with inevitable failure.

These poor bishops have no recourse. Even if they're sick and tired of hearing confessions of "I did it again," there's nothing they can do because everyone in their congregation believes masturbation is a sin that requires confessing to the bishop in order to be forgiven. And believe me, they want to be forgiven!

The practice of considering masturbation and viewing pornography sins is a failure because attempts to exterminate them are always unsuccessful.

 

COMING SOON... (hopefully!)

Let's face it... CHURCH MEETINGS ARE DEATHLY BORING

Let's face it... OFFICIAL CHURCH HISTORY IS SYSTEMATICALLY FALSIFIED

Let's face it... YOUR HOME TEACHERS TAKE MORMON DOCTRINE MORE SERIOUSLY THAN GORDON HINCKLEY

Let's face it... MISSIONARIES ABROAD: MESSENGERS OF ENCULTURATION

Let's face it... THE GLUE THAT HOLDS THE HOUSE OF CARDS TOGETHER IS... A FEELING IN THE "BOSOM"

Let's face it... SO MUCH FOR "GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT"

 

MMM... Mormonism Mingled with Memetics
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Kinds of Memes, Mormons, and Apostasy	My Story
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