Suspended in Time

No matter where I went, things were always the same. I’d do my job, I’d usually get paid, and almost always I ended up in the shadiest joints you’ve ever seen. I hung around bars looking to pick up info and so on, stayed in cheap hotels unless my employer put me up some place better, usually not. This evening, I was no better off.

Welcome to the Deerborn Inn and Tavern. I sat in the furthest table from the bar, and waited patiently to be served some ginger ale. While I waited I’d created an origami crane napkin and flicked sugar cubes into a glass of ice water. To further my displeasure, it was Karaoke night, and the guy on stage was rattling off a poor rendition of Feelings. I guess after a few drinks, people didn’t care how terrible the performances were, but I’d be sober, sipping ginger ale til I got tired enough to retreat for the night.

I was between jobs, and well, there wasn’t much I had to take care of. I was always moving from place to place so I never really made any friends. Family? I could call Nic, I think I will... some day. With all this technology, one could place a phone call, an e-mail, at the touch of a button, and yet, getting up the will to do it is the hard part. I really couldn’t think of anything to do either, gamble? Yeah, with what money?

Finally my order came. “Will there be anything else?” the waitress said, she was a female badger.

“Nah, that’s all.” I said, and took my drink and the first sips. I liked bein’ quiet unless I was givin’ someone a hard time, usually my questionable clients.

“Are you going to sing tonight?” She asked.

“Eh, sorry ma’am, I don’t sing.” I took a sip, and when she didn’t go away immediately I had to ask, “Why would you think I would?”

“I guess not. But I figured you couldn’t be any worse than the rest of them.” she laughed. She cringed as one of the crooning males hit a particularly sour note. “Some of them are pretty good, especially when they sing for a loved one. Well, if you change your mind, here’s tonight’s selection” She handed me a booklet with listings of what songs could be played. “And if you change your mind, my name’s Hellen.” She smiled and finally left me in peace.

When I’d emptied my glass, I tried calling for another round, no one seemed to notice. I went to lean my elbows on the table and hit the Karaoke guide onto the floor. Oops. Well, I leaned over and picked it back up. I wasn’t going to look at it, but eh, I had nothing better to do. Besides, something was telling me I should look at it.

It was mostly filled with oldies songs, but there were a few newer tunes, mostly 70s and 80’s is what I mean by newer, but some songs made it past the 80s. Then my eyes glanced upon it, Karaoke choice #67 - Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely. It had been so long since I’d thought about her... Calia.

“Is that your choice?” I heard someone say. I looked up and it was Hellen, smiling at me with a new Ginger Ale in hand.

“Wha? No... I’m... I told you I’m not singing tonight.”

“Very well. If there’s anything you need just ask. You just... look like you really understand that song.” I nodded slightly as she turned to walk away.

‘Is that your choice?’ I thought. No, I don’t think I ever chose to be lonely. Last time I heard that song, it was playin’ in a jukebox in some little ruddy bar. Last time I heard it, I thought of her. ‘Is that your choice?’ No, I thought about her once after that... Before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

Eventually I found myself walkin’ into Wildwood Park. It was kinda nice out aside the chill... and a fog like out of some Sherlock Holmes book was rollin’ in. All the lamps dotted the park like fireflies. I sat down on a metal bench, just watching, whatever there was to watch.

“You look lonely” a soft female voice came from behind me, it was so familiar.

A glance behind me and I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn’t dreamin’. “C--- Calia?!”

She laughed softly, a smile on her canine face. Yes, the white snow fox was standin’ there, as beautiful as any angel. “Hello soul mate.” She smiled and sat down next to me.

“Calia... how? I thought... you were gone forever.” Instantly I clutched her hand in mine. Oh how I musta smiled, I just couldn’t hide it, I didn’t want to, she made me happy, if just for a little while.

“I’m still supposed to be in the program.” She nuzzled me gently. “But I saw you leave the Inn and... so I just had to see you, even if it’s just this once.”

We hugged tight and we spoke for what seemed like hours, and then, then I knew what had to happen next. “So you have to go back?” I said quietly.

“I’m afraid so.” Calia’s arms wrapped around me tightly, “But... while you’re in town... I’ll find you.” Before I knew what’d happened, Calia disappeared into the mist, and my heart sank.

I continued sitting on the bench, watching the clouds pass the moon by quiet as anything. It was strangely quiet, there was no one else around, I couldn’t even hear so much as a car in the distance. Whenever someone like Calia left me, it left a new ache in my heart, and I could feel that wellin’ up in me now, I was glad I was alone.

‘I’ll find you’ began repeating in my head. Those words hadn’t been used by Calia. I would have gone a thousand miles and more to find her though, but...

“I told you I’d find you.” Another female voice said and a pair of thin white arms wrapped around my neck from behind. I couldn’t believe it, no more than an hour ago I was talking to Calia... and now?

“Crystal Ka?” I bolted to look behind me, no one was there. “Crys?” I felt a hand on my shoulder again, and there was laughter. Turning quickly, I saw her. The white echidna with two black stripes on her arm. She was dressed in form fitting jeans and a tank top, last time i’d seen her she was tribal, in fact, she was the leader of a tribe, though her sandals seemed much the same.

She laughed again, her way of talking to me to tell me to relax. I didn’t think she laughed so much around others, but I was ill at ease. “Nack? I told you I’d find you.” She smiled warmly.

“Crys... I told you not to come find me, it’s dangerous. My job...”

“I don’t care.” She said plainly and sat next to me, the smile never leaving her face. “I already took a bullet or you, you know? Besides, my grandfather came back.”

I’d heard about headstrong women, I knew a few, the kind that never accept no as an answer. I looked at her for a few moments, sighing, trying to figure out what was what. Then it dawned on me, I’d left her almost the same as Calia had left me. Now, did I have a second chance? “Why would you chose me?”

“Because, I know... I know inside of you you’re good.” Another one who thought that, could I trust the thought? I couldn’t trust anyone, how could she or Calia trust me so? “You wouldn’t let me get hurt.” She smiled again.

We talked for a while, about the tribe, about how Shadowbane had gotten his rose, only to find that it was just a shell. I told her about things that had happened since I left, I just... couldn’t bring myself to tell her about Calia. It was then I realized that, I couldn’t be with either of them. She disappeared into the mist, and I found myself back at the bar.

“Ginger Ale please.” I sighed, and Hellen was again my waitress. Had any time passed, I wondered. It was still Karaoke night, and some guy croaked out the last notes to My Girl.

I was about to drown myself in my mug when someone, a lady, stepped up on stage. then the singing began - real singing.

The song struck a chord in my heart, and my eyes darted up to the stage. It was Calia, decked out in a long red dress shining like silk. Her hair was drawn up beautifully into a bun with a few artistically lose strands tumbling down onto her shoulders. She was singing it for me. And her eyes... they were on mine, such beautiful lavender eyes.

“Is she your girlfriend?” I didn’t know where they came from, maybe this was all some sorta’ dream. Beside me, Crystal was sitting there, her jeans and tank top on, her lips painted red, her deep blue eyes piercing into mine. I was bein’ torn in two by two beautiful women, and I just, couldn’t see... if I would ever be with either of them. Of course, I knew it was impossible with Calia, but that didn’t keep me from dreaming.

“Crystal... she...” I sighed.

“What’s wrong? I’ll understand if she is... I mean, we didn’t know each other long, and it’s been so long since then.” It was so like her to be like that. from the short time I’d known her she seemed to take everything in stride, and because of that, her smile was vibrant as ever.

“No... it’s not that. It’s... just, I can’t... have either of you.” I said softly.

Yeah, now the smiles dulled. On stage, I think Calia saw us sitting together. ~Keep me suspended in time with you, Don’t let this moment die~ Next to me, the news that I couldn’t be with her either kinda hit home.

“I guess I’ve chewed up enough of your time. I guess I’ll leave you be.” She stood up and hurried herself out the door.

“Crystal wait!” I didn’t have a chance to undo what was said, and as I turned around, Calia had left the stage. “No...” I groaned. I stumbled through the crowd to the stage, not a trace of Calia was left, nothing but a door slamming back in the alley.

“Hey that’s not in the program!” Someone yelled “Get him off stage!” A bunch of boos and hisses met my ears, but that didn’t matter. I started out the door, and the corner of my eye caught the badger who’d served me as I left. “Is that your choice?”

I ran out into the back alley. Everything had changed, the night just kept getting darker and colder, and I wondered if it would ever end. “Calia!” I yelled, she must be around somewhere. I looked left and right and I couldn’t see her, but a white flash stuck out in the mist. Whether it was Calia or Crystal, I had to follow, and ran fast as I could.

Now the city was alive, and I almost got hit by a speeding car. “Crystal! Calia!” I had to tell them something, what I didn’t know. I just couldn’t leave them... thinking... Thinking what? I loved them both. It just wasn’t meant to be.

I ran and ran for what seemed by forever, I was down on the docks, the warehouse district. It was dark, and foggy still. I hadn’t seen either of them, and I was about to give up. Then I heard something, crying? I couldn’t make it out clearly but I ran to it. It just didn’t seem to matter how fast I ran, but I got there. I saw them, Calia was angry and Crystal was crying. I didn’t know what to say, which one to go to, which one to comfort.

“I.. I don’t care what he is..” Crystal sobbed, “I know what he is inside, that’s what counts.”

“But... he’s..” Calia growled slightly at the shorter Echidna before her, her arms folded over her chest. “You don’t know how much he helped me out. An I.. I knew him before you did.”

“You left him, you had your chance!”

“I had no choice!”

“What about me?” I stepped out of hiding into the lamp light. I couldn’t look at either of them, but they had to stop fighting.

“Nack” they both said, they both looked helpless, desperate. They wanted to know... what I didn’t know myself. Which one?

“I don’t... want either of you hurt.” I sighed and took my hat off respectfully. “Calia, you know I love you. Crystal? I could... I... I think I love you too.” I wasn’t sure if I was seeing a mixture of shock or sudden loathing creeping into their eyes but I cleared my throat and continued before I lost my nerve. “I can’t chose betwen you, I’m at a loss. I just know that I want you both to be happy, and I can’t give that to you. I’m a bounty hunter, and that means trouble. You two have already been hurt because of that, how could I live with myself if anything happens to either of you? Calia, you’re the one in the witness protection program, you should know how that goes. But both of you... thanks..” That’s where I choaked, how do I thank either of them? They were both there when I needed, and they both knew who I was deep down. Now I would have to walk away again, forever.

“I told you, I understand if I’m not the one you chose, just tell me there’s a chance some day, for you to be happy.” Crystal said without a trace of a smile, it had to hurt.

“Well..” Calia sighed softly, but then she smiled at me, “We had a few good times, I think the memories are worth it.” She came over to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “Just keep yourself safe all right?”

I nodded. We exchanged a few more words, but the night didn’t seem so cold. They started to walk out of my life again, this time as friends. I didn’t feel so bad, but then again, part of me didn’t want to leave them. I had to see... where they’d go, I’d always be thinking about them, I just couldn’t let them slip away as easily as the words I love You could roll from my lips.

I decided they were safe and turned to go, then it happened. Both ends of the street, the girls had parted way, and on each corner I heard the squeeling tires of a vehical headed for each. “No!” I cried, I had time, time to save one, just one, only one. I went for the impossible, I ran for Calia. I rolled to the side of the road with Calia in my arms, and the van crashed into a nearby building then, just disappeared.

I looked at Calia only a moment before I left her side, she wa all right... but Crystal. “NOOO!” I yelled, I was too late, the body flew and skidded along the sidewalk, then the truck that hit her vannished too. I ran to Crystal and knelt beside her. There was blood, she musta been cut up from the glass that had flown from the windshield. I rolled her over onto her back, and nudged her. “Crystal... Crystal...” I repeated over and over, tears filling my eyes. “Please wake up.. don’t be... don’t be dead. Crystal??” I couldn’t stop the blood, the fact that it still flowed meant she was alive. “Call the cops! Call anyone!” I shouted, I saw Calia stand there a moment before she ran for help.

“So...” Crystal said finally, her jewel blue eyes opening. “So...” She sighed and reached for me. The blood on her hands rubbed off on the side of my face, I could feel it trail down my cheek. I was deep in tears now. “Is that your choice?” She said softly.

I’d run after what I could never have every chance I got. Now, I was loosing someone who could have made me happy. “I didn’t mean--”

“No one should..” she coughed up some blood and I found myself shaking with fear. “...should have to make that choice.” With what strength she had, she drew herself to me, and I held her tight as I could, like she held me once in that hospital. “You... did what you could, I don’t blame you.”

“Don’t... don’t talk like... You’ll be all right okay? You have to?” my voice shook. I stroked her snow white hair gently in my fingers.

“No... I think... you made your choice.. I have no regrets.” She smiled up at me sincerely, bruised and bleeding as she was. “I love you.”

“I...love you too.” I said. I meant it too, and then... Then... she passed away in my arms. She was gone, and Calia was too. I’d made my choice, but if it was the right one, I didn’t know.

The mists circled around me and suddenly, she wasn’t there, no one was. then I heard the music drift into my ears ~But I know for certain Good Bye is a crime, so please would you leave me, suspended in Time? in time....~

“Next up, Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely!” Hellen announced.

“Crystal?” I cried softly and looked around. No one was there. Hellen came downstairs and up to me after she’d finnished he song. “W... Was there an arctic fox on stage a while ago?” I asked softly.

“No.” Hellen said taking my empty mug away and handing me a napkin. “Why?”

“What day is it?”

“Are you feeling okay Mr. Weasel? You fell asleep two hours ago. It’s Thursday, Karaoke Night.”

“You don’t have Karaoke on Saturdays do you?” I asked.

She laughed, “No Mr. Weasel, only Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

I realized what had happened, it was all a dream. I payed my bill and went on my way. Everything was normal again, the Moon was a crescent hanging in the air, a few cars drove down he darkened streets, and life went on. I had to wonder where Calia and Crystal were, but I knew, if they were away from me, then they must be safe. I knew the meaning of being lonely, just... why doesn’t someone suspend me in time?

My last stop that night was to a payphone. "Hey, Nic? I... Id like to talk."