By: Will

I decided to start off my features with a horror-oriented one to wane you guys off of horror, slowly. Don't get me wrong, there will be reviews of shitty horror movies on here, so no worries.

All right, kids. Let's get this over with. I saw this gem of a film in theatres right around its initial release. As avid of a fan of horror as I was, even I thought this shitfest was...well a shitfest. I'll give you a little run through.

You've got your basic heroin, played by Alicia Witt. The character's name escapes me, so we'll just call her Jane. Jane goes to this school that has a FRIGHTENING history! It seems that about 30 years prior, a student gone mad went through his dorm with an ax, and as he made his rounds down the hall, he would simply knock on each door, and if someone answered they'd get an ax through the head. This frightens Jane, yet intrigues her yet the same. The faculty that was around when this took place refuse to make mention of the incident. Jane's best friend, Noxema Girl, gets an idea. The dorm the murders took place in was condemned. Noxema Girl wants to visit the dorm and see if anything spooky happens, because you'll find out throughout this film, that Noxema Girl is the wackiest of the bunch!

Anyway, so they go there, they hear like a scream or something. I don't remember. Then Pacey comes up behind them and scares the two. Pacey's wacky too. Oh god, is he ever! Pfft, yeah, so anyway, a bunch of stuff happens and Jordan Catalono (sp?) from "My So Called Life" fame enters the picture. He's the school reporter and thinks that these murders based on famous Urban Legends would be a good story. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. Someone goes around killing people based on different Urban Legends. Pacey gets killed under the "Boyfriend scraping the top of the car" story, The "smart ass" of the film, who's name I also forget. He was Jack on that show "Zoe". His dog gets put in the microwave, then he gets draino poured down his throat, then he's drown in the toilet. Tara Reid gets chopped up with an ax. Her tits played a rivoting role in that scene.

Murders out of the way, Jane, Jordan, and Noxema Girl end up together, pursuing, or running from the killer. One of the two. I forget. Like it matters anyway. On their way to find help, they stop at a gas station. Jordan goes inside to ask for directions when the girls smell something rank from the back of the car. They get out and investigate. It's the body of their Urban Folklore teacher, Dr. Wilcox!! Thinking Jordan's the killer, Jane and Noxema Girl make a run for it into the...oh yes, you knew it was coming...WOODS! Jordan starts chasing them. The girls are screaming. Blah blah blah. We then discover that Jordan's not the killer!! No! It's Noxema Girl!

"But why, Noxema Girl?! Why?!" I screamed! It seems that Jane and her dead friend, who got her head chopped off in the opening scene of the film, were out driving one night and pulled the "Gang initiation headlight" legend on Noxema Girl's boyfriend, making him wreak and die. This pissed Noxema Girl off so she found it a rational idea to follow Jane to college, kill all of her friends in an attempt of revenge. Sorry Noxema! Jane's the loser main character in this movie, so no deal. Noxema Girl "dies" after many unsuccessful attempts by Jordan and Jane. Nothing would kill the bitch. She kept coming back. Being pushed into a river finally did her in. Until it's revealed that she's not dead, but back at school under a different name and stupid looking wig. I got word of a cameo by her in the sequel, but I never saw it in fear of Joey Lawerence. We won't even get into that....