THE RULES

Of course from watching "Scream", you all know the "rules" on surviving a horror movie. Well, even though Randy brought up several good points, he neglected to mention a few. So, being the kind-hearted person that I am, here are some others that are just as important as Mr. Meeks'.

Rule #1: Don't answer the doo...um, no. Don't go in the woods...no. Damn it. Don't answer the phone! Yeah!

Rule #2: Don't piss off the bad guy. You'll just end up on the floor hurt or something.

Rule #3: Making popcorn and talking to a stranger on the phone who's making death threats before watching a scary movie...BAD!

Rule #4: Here's one I hold dear to. When you KNOW there is someone coming after you, don't go outside. Especially at night, 'cause they're gonna find you and kill you...dumb ass.

Rule #5: Don't be the slut of the movie. For some odd reason, the person who likes to have the most fun gets it first.

Rule #6: Why do people think that if they hide under a table they're invisible?

Rule #7: Running is always a good idea.

Rule #8: 'Mega-bitch' is synonymous with 'survivor'.

Rule #9: Pop quiz. If the killer's not in front of you, and the killer isn't beside you...where could he be? Hmmm...can't blame her though. She was the slut of the movie, and she is blonde. She's just plain screwed in this situation.

Rule #10: Don't answer the door.

Rule #11: Even serial killers have to use the bathroom. That's the best time to get away. Wait 'till they finish a big gulp or something, then run while they're in the bathroom. A dude's not gonna risk getting piss on his pants over a kill.

Rule #12: A tight shirt and a slight draft aren't a good combination when going into a dark garage by yourself. All jokes aside. Let's just sit back and enjoy this one, agreed?

CONGRATULATIONS! You've made it to the sequel!

Home