lately i seem to drown
in your superiority
and i sincerely think
that you are trying
to kill me
what do you gain out of this?
my frown that seems to be
an inch away from your fulfillment
as a person
you grab my throat
and force my head underwater
you swear that you are
baptising me
but i dont think that holy water
is supposed to choke like this
and you call it help
and you call my breathlessness help
and say that it will all be okay
if i am like you
a perfect soul with a
human heart
and youre so dead
you wish the same for me
but maybe youre just jealous of my realness,
my livliness
my anti-you
what can i do for you?
can i change?
can i pretend that i am some perfect
dead girl walking
should i flirt with all of the guys
to acheive that security
of knowing that i can get
what everyone else wants
does that make you feel better?
because as long as it makes you feel better
then everybody else can be happy
and then i can be happy
because you make me feel so wrong
you make me feel like a random fan of your
popularity
but can i tell you that youre not so popular
and youre not so special afterall
and you wont be even when we are
because you blew it
so, how does it feel to be normal?
1:29 AM 1/15/99
aek
