I saw a woman this weekend that I was interested in many years ago. I've no interest in her now, but when I saw her I had a moment of clarity. I recalled instantly how I'd once felt about her, and my mind raced through every second of our long acquaintanceship. I remembered how I used to wish I could tell her how much I liked her, and how I was always terrified that she’d find out. I remembered how close we were when we first became friends, and how we grew apart over time. I remember how eventually we were more acquaintances than friends, and then virtually strangers. I remember that the reason I never told her was that I was afraid our friendship wouldn’t be able to handle it, and how our friendship died anyway.

She is now a living reminder of the mistakes I’ve made in the past, both with her, and with others. She reminds me of the opportunities I have squandered out of fear. Who knows what would have happened if I’d approached her all those years ago? She probably would have rejected me, I’m usually pretty good at predicting such things. Who’s to say that our friendship would not have been better after that though? I’ll never have a chance to find out.

So I’ve decided to learn a lesson. If I do nothing, than nothing happens, good or bad. What good is a life lived in fear of actually living? I’m going to have to make a decision, and act. Thank you Stacy, for the memories, and for what they may serve to teach me. I hope my mistakes with you turn into exactly what I need now, a catalyst for courage.

The question is no longer "should" I act, it is now "how should" I act. There are many options open to me at the moment, so I want your help in deciding which to follow.

1. Girl A seems to be catching on, should I confirm it for her? Before you answer I should make it clear that I do not believe she has any interest in me, that we have been friends for many years, and that I will not be able to face her ever afterwards.
2. Girl D has recently returned to my life, I have always felt a connection to her, should I let her know I’m interested? Before you answer I should make it clear that I have no idea if she has felt this same connection to me, that she had a messy break up with her fiancée a few months back, and she appears to be spending a lot of time dating lately.
3. I have a job I enjoy, and which may lead me somewhere in the future. Should I forget about romantic issues entirely for awhile and concentrate on work until I know where I stand? Keep in mind that I’ve been alone a long time, and that this option may lead to more missed opportunities.
4. Should I tell both girls? I can’t really picture myself doing this, but it is theoretically an option.
5. Should I just start picking up girls at random in night clubs so that I’ll at least have some form of companionship? Pfft, yeah right.

Anyway, those are the options…let me know…please. Oh, and Girl A, if you are starting to figure things out, let me know…it will make this decision much easier.