Goodbye
Everything changes it seems. My entire life is being flipped upside down currently, and until now
I like to think I've been handling it pretty well. So what's new? Today my mother told me that
we are having Coco put to sleep on the 31st.
In two days from now the dog I've had for most of my life is going to be killed. That's not the
part that upsets me most though. What upsets me is the knowledge that we are doing it to him.
He's given our family nothing but love and devotion for his entire life, and any day know we're
going to return that favour with treachery. I understand all the arguments involved, he's old,
we're all moving to places that can't accept pets, but that amounts to nothing for me. It's murder.
He's looking at me now, even as I write this, his tail wags, his eyes are bright and clear, he even
has a little grin on his face. With all the packing and moving that has been going on he's had an
exciting few days recently, and he seems to think it's all a game. I wish it wasn't his last.
When I was young and we wanted to confuse Coco, we'd say "Where's Mommy Coco? Where's
Mommy?" He'd go running all over the house trying to find my mom, checking all the doors and
windows. Even when she was sitting right next to us. Now that this has come up that's how I
think of him. My mom is his mommy, and he and I have grown up together...I've always wanted
a brother, and I think that's what he's been to me.
I've said from the beginning that I don't support this decision, but I haven't done anything to stop
it either. So I might as well stab him myself, I'm just as guilty of this betrayal as the others. I pride
myself on being the protector of my family, on taking care of everyone when they need it, but now
I'm failing the most fragile member of our family. I can't imagine feeling guiltier about anything
than I do about this, and no amount of cold logic, or rationalization changes it in the slightest...I'm
killing my best friend.
Goodbye Coco, I'm sorry I failed you.
