Happy Birthday, Despite Myself

After everything that happened this weekend I thought I'd post about how disappointed I was with the turn out for my birthday, or how the whole thing made me feel like I was that same geeky kid with no friends that I was in high school. I actually wrote that post twice, but it didn't feel right. I've had a lousy birthday, and I don't think I really need to dwell on that right now. Instead I think I'll post about what went right with the evening...surprised? Me too.

Nathalie

Nathalie showed up for the first part of the night, and she was looking happier than I've seen her in ages. She danced around a lot, and we talked a bit. It was great seeing her outside of a gaming thing again.

Robin

Robin was also there for the first part, though he didn't know it was my birthday or anything, it was still fun seeing him.

Lisa & Jen

These two did the most by far to make the best of my birthday, and received little thanks in return I'm afraid. They smiled at me, tried to get me to dance, dedicated a song to my birthday, and generally made merry. Much fun :)

Jen

One half of the dynamic duo. Jen and I barely know each other. I've met her about a half dozen times, and spoken to her maybe half as often. Strange then that I enjoyed having her around so much on Sunday night. She's a bit of an enigma to me, but she was nice, friendly, and good company, so what else matters? She doesn't have access to my journal, but hopefully Lisa will pass along this message: "Thank you for coming, I really appreciate it, sorry I was such lousy company."

Lisa

I wonder if she was Batman or Robin? No matter. Lisa deserves the Nobel Prize for putting up with me Sunday night. She tried to make me smile, she tried to celebrate as if nothing had gone wrong, basically she was wonderful (don't start blushing yet dear, I'm not finished). I acted like a complete ass for most of the night, and ended the night by planting my size 13 shoe firmly in my mouth. As a result she seems to think I'm annoyed, disappointed, or angry with her.... This is not the case. She was the best thing about the evening, and I owe her more apologies for my behavior than I can ever hope to actually put words to. To Lisa I say: "Thank you for coming, you can't possibly understand how much it meant to me that you were there, and sorry I was such a grump."

So people did come, and they all said "Happy Birthday"...it didn't start out as a particularly happy one, but they all tried for my sake, and through writing this I think I'm come to a conclusion. I screwed up. I was so busy noticing that there was almost nobody there that I didn't really appreciate those that were there. I guess wisdom comes with age, because today is my real birthday, and now I'm looking back on my "party" in quite a different way. To all: "Thank you for coming, I guess it's a happy birthday after all"