Yes I Am
Yes I Am

By Absinthe

Disclaimers: See Chapter 1
Chapter 6: The Queen of Hearts is Always Your Best Bet

"Maia?" Sarah shouted over the roaring wind.

"What?" The dark woman replied, glancing away from the road to her passenger.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"Reincarnation? Have you been reading Cosmo again?"

"No!" Sarah replied in mock anger, "I've been having these dreams."

"I have a dream for you. You and me, crystal clear water teeming with tropical fish, the sun, the sand, and a yacht. What do you think?"

"Sounds like one hell of a dream."

"I have a month of down time coming up, and I know a woman down there who'll loan us her boat."

"Are you serious?" Sarah asked, turning in her seat and putting a hand up to fend off the strands of hair that whipped at her face.

Maia glanced over and smiled broadly.

"As a brain tumor."
When they returned, hair sun-bleached and skin bronzed, Maia was called back to Section almost immediately. The first news she heard was that Nikita had blown up an embassy and killed 16 people. Maia sought the blonde agent out to see if she could offer any support, as Nikita was notoriously soft hearted for someone of her rank. Maia passed Operations on his way out of the workout room, so she went in. She was confronted with a sparring match between Nikita and another high ranking agent. Her eyes followed the session as it moved across the room, and she was surprised by a change in Nikita's fighting style. She was like a rottweiler: she was not going to give up, no matter how many times she went down, and she at last resorted to a slightly underhanded move to defeat her opponent. He slapped the floor twice with a beefy arm, and the lithe blonde let him get up. They bowed to each other, and Nikita padded to the edge of the room to grab a towel.

"Nikita," Maia called, "Hello. How are you?"

"Fine," Nikita replied, breathing heavily.

"I heard about the embassy. Sounds like it was a rough time. You sure everything's all right?"

"Positive. How was the trip?"

"Wonderful. Look, can I talk to you for a sec?" Maia asked, touching Nikita's elbow and leaning forward conspiratorially. She was going to have to let Section know piece by piece about Sarah. They would find out eventually, and it was best to start with the person that Madeline seemed to think she identified the most with.

"What about?" Nikita seemed a little impatient. Maia was surprised by the reaction, but didn't show it.

"Nothing. Never mind, it's all right, not important. I'll see you around, huh?" the dark woman stepped back, turned on her heel, and walked out. Something was definitely wrong. Either something happened at the embassy that Nikita wasn't admitting to, or Operations and Madeline had done something to her. In any case, over all there was a definite odor of rat. Call her paranoid, but her experiences with behavior modification led her to look for it in everyone.

Maia next sought out Walter. He was cleaning the contacts of a little shielded transmitter's power cell, and muttering to himself under that navy blue bandana.

"Good morning, Walter," she said, interrupting him.

"Oh hey, darlin'" he replied, smiling just like always, "How was the sailing?"

"Great. I think I was a sailor in a past life," Maia laughingly replied, "How've things been around here?"

"Same old, same old," he said, then gestured for her to come a little closer and lowered his voice, "I guess you heard about the embassy?"

"Yes."

"What a mess. Poor Nikita. Michael's worried about her, but she seems all right to me."

"Maybe too all right. This is Nikita we're talking about. She doesn't just kill 16 people without batting an eyelash," Maia hissed back, leaning forward to take the transmitter from his calloused paw and pretending to ask him a question about it until Michael walked past.

"So, maybe she has to act this way, you know how Operations can be. . ."

"We're her friends, Walter."

"I know, honey, I know. And sometimes friends have to know when to stand back and let things happen. Trust her, she's been here longer than you, and she knows what she's doing," Walter said, his sardonic smile taking the sting out of his words. Maia frowned inwardly but clouted her friend playfully on the arm.

"Maybe you're right," and she bobbed an invisible hat to him as she walked away. Maia left him, feeling somewhat irritated and at a loss. She had expected more from Walter, who, despite his seniority was known to "buck the system" at every opportunity. Actually what was most likely was that he simply did not trust her enough to let her in on his schemes. She'd only been there for a few short years, and it took time to build up the kind of faith he had in Birkhoff and Michael. She sighed and moved on.

The mission briefing went smoothly although Maia was hard pressed to resist her desire to peek at Nikita from time to time. What she saw shocked her. This alone was not nearly enough to bring Section One down, though. Oversight would not pull the plug for personality modification experiments when they had ordered Maia's mind completely changed into someone else's. She needed more dirt.

The team was deployed and Maia fulfilled her function with the viciousness that Cassandra would have. Honestly she even enjoyed it a little. What she didn't like was the emptiness in Nikita's eyes.

When Michael went rogue, Maia giggled inwardly. Every single staff member followed the unfolding drama with perked ears and piqued curiosity. The war between Michael and Operations, or "Paul" as some called him when he was not within earshot, was no secret. That kind of animosity hangs in the air and like dogs, people can smell it from a mile away.

In any case, this break was exactly what Maia needed, and when Michael broke back into section to steal Adrienne she knew that this was her chance. If she didn't get this to Oversight or at least Amanda and Tony, she never would have this kind of evidence again. Her real dilemma though, was deciding if it was in her own best interest to interfere at all. If Michael succeeded without her help, would she be canceled with the rest of Section 1? But if she did interfere, and they failed, would she be condemned by Section 1 itself?

Selfish Bitch she thought, frowning. She'd hoped that there would be more time than this. She had to contact Michael, just to offer her help. That would be next to impossible, she knew, but she also knew that Michael would bet in touch with Walter. Walter was, after all, the singularly most useful man in Section 1. That afternoon, Maia stopped by Walter's station on the way out.

"Hey, honey," he said, per usual. Maia smiled.

"Hey Walter, how's it going?"

"Well as can be expected."

"Can I talk to you for a sec? I have a really stupid question about the VXI-21 keypads."

"Fire away, hon."

"I don't have mine with me. Do you have one I could show you?"

"Sure," Walter nodded and sauntered into the storage area. Maia followed him inside unbidden. When they were out of hearing range of any chance passersby, she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Here's the--"

"Walter, has Michael contacted you yet?"

"Cassandra, that's nothing either of us needs to touch. Don't bite off more than you can chew here," Walter warned, paternally.

Maia gave him a thin smile and shrugged off his parental advice.

"There's more than one shark in this pool, my friend. When he does get in touch with you, which you and I both know he will, transmit this information to him," Maia handed Walter a mini-disc, "you don't have to tell me anything if you feel better about it that way, just make sure that he gets this data. Understand?"

Walter nodded almost imperceptibly and pocketed the disc. Alone in the hall, Maia noticed that her palms were sweating. What scared her about this was that she was starting to have the nightmares again. What had been done to Nikita reminded her so much of the thin boundary between the light and the dark. Nikita, an inherently good person, had been stripped of her light and plunged into the darkness that was so familiar to Maia. She shuddered inwardly.

Her work was over. She had a day or two of down time to relax at home with Sarah before the next mission, and wait for contact from Michael, if indeed he chose to do so at all. Feeling a bit nauseous, Maia went home. Sarah was out, working as usual, so Maia sauntered into their little den after a stop off in the kitchen for a fistful of trail mix. Sarah was vegan now and there wasn't much in the house to eat that wasn't built around the rather fanatic new diet. Maia had to respect her for it though, but Sarah's concerns were so blessedly normal.

She could have a bad day at work without being executed for it, and Maia envied her that. She vaguely remembered such a time... back in high school. Wow. It had been a long road to . . . to getting tired, and tired she certainly was. But with any luck, Adrienne would be her ticket out. Luck was a lot to ask these days though, the dark woman mused, rolling onto her back on the velvet sofa and munching on a raisin. Gods she hated trail mix. She also hated uncertainty, despite its unavoidability in her profession.

We don't always get what we want.

A key turned in the lock, and Maia smiled at the familiar tune of an Indigo Girl's song being whistled several notes off key. Sarah soon stumbled inside, laden with grocery bags. Her shock of blonde hair was all that Maia could see over the tops of the brown paper bags. The agent was on her feet in a heartbeat to relieve the diminutive woman of her burdens.

"Hi!" Sarah exclaimed, punctuating the greeting with a deep kiss.

"What was that for?"

"I'm just glad you're back," Sarah replied, failing completely to hide her anxiety.

"Worried?"

"And why wouldn't I?"

"Because I can handle it, my love," Maia replied, starting to put the groceries away and feeling for a moment, extraordinarily domesticated.

"But what if you can't? What if something happens?"

"Something is happening, Sarah, right now. And if I don't get in on it, I'll be doing this for the rest of my life," Maia grinned suddenly. It was a slightly maniacal grin of joy and fear, of anticipation and regret. It made Sarah take a compulsive step backwards.

"You mean . . . You might get out?"

"With any luck. Sarah, this could be it," Maia added, but didn't mention that it could be either ‘it' like the end or ‘it' like the big break. Sarah smiled, a quieter, untroubled smile and threw her arms around her lover's neck. She rubbed her nose against Maia's and then kissed her tenderly. Maia responded by scooping the little blonde up in her arms and carrying her into the bedroom. To Hell with the groceries.

Continued in Chapter 7

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