A Few Thoughts On Crying
I did not write the following, but I found it to be extremely helpful and I wanted to share this.
My comments are found throughout in yellow.
Women need to cry when spanked. It is a normal, natural, and healthy release of tensions. Still, for a variety of reasons, women sometimes fail to cry when spanked.
One common cause is the failure of men to understand that their hand is seldom a match for a woman's buttocks. Most women have more than ample padding.
Possible solutions include rapidly switching the back of the thighs, or spanking the buttocks repeatedly – perhaps over the course of a weekend.
By nature, women need to test a man's resolve. It is a necessary self-protection mechanism that men often fail to appreciate.So true! I have a very bad habit of testing men.
Although uncomfortable for most women to initially discuss with a man, men need to understand that a woman's crying in the context of a spanking originates from her inner child. This is why women often exhibit other childlike responses to spanking or the threat of a spanking.
Consequently, it is important for the man to provide for a safe environment for a woman's inner child. Among the prime prerequisites for most women – when they lose both their pants and their composure – are privacy in selection of location and discretion on the part of a man.
The long-term payoff for the discreet man is a very stable, happy, and contented life partner – purged of debilitating emotional baggage. The woman's trust of the man is paramount and should not be underestimated under any circumstances. If she cannot trust, she can never feel loved.
In the absence of trust, a woman will ‘circle the wagons’ – to use an American colloquialism – and protect her inner child with all the maternal instincts she can muster. This protective strategy starts a vicious cycle that will eventually turn the woman into a spiteful hollow shell with which no one wants to live – least of all the woman herself. Her life stalls in bitterness.
At the same time, many modern women think themselves mentally tougher than men. By training, and occasionally by disposition, women are sometimes able to prove themselves superior.
Many times a woman's psychological stiffness is calculated to unnerve the man. Nevertheless, women tend to choose men they believe able to handle them.Again, very true. I want a man who can "handle" me.
Nevertheless, apart from testing and provocation, the real problem can be more deeply seated.
These problems prove difficult to resolve because most men fail to realize that spanking is about a woman's head rather than her buttocks.
The link between spanking and crying is not dissimilar from sex and orgasm. Sometimes a woman has to get her ducks in a row to experience either.
Unlike human males, the female orgasm seldom just happens because the plumbing is appropriately hooked up and the itch is scratched. Ambiance, mood, timing, and so forth are all important for setting the stage for grand finale.
The same is true when it comes to spanking. Simply beating her buttocks is much like flogging the proverbial dead horse. It is like squeezing the trigger of an empty double-action revolver.
The cylinder rotates; the hammer falls. Yet, there is no BANG in the end because the chambers have not been loaded beforehand.
As with sex, sometimes the spanking needs to happen on the woman's schedule rather than according to the man's timetable. The time is not so much dictated by his convenience or her dictates as by her need.
There are times when a woman is more ready to cry than she is at other times. Guilt and stress are common prime movers. Some embarrassment over having to take a spanking like a child helps, but contrived humiliation can be counterproductive.
Sometimes a woman needs a spanking to straighten out her mind. These are the times when she is most vulnerable.
In addition, there may be secondary complications from previous experiences in the woman's life.
For example, if a woman learned to endure X number of spanks growing up, or only had to cry superficially to cause a parent to stop, she may try to outlast her husband. She may have also been forbidden to cry when spanked as a child. These are learned responses that may have to be unlearned. Unlearning them takes time.
Likewise, if a woman has been spanked by too many men more interested in getting into her knickers than in straightening her out, she may have steeled herself emotionally. Again, this is a learned response that needs to be unlearned.I have come across a few men that were more interested in getting into my pants then spanking me. A few swats on my ass does not do it for me. I need the whole nine yards. Make me feel the spanking days later, then have sex with me.
Usually, even if a women suspects the origins of the difficulty, she may not tell her husband. Much like spanking, this is one of those things women expect men to figure out for themselves. Hence, the first task is to understand the woman sufficiently to understand her complexity.
I am bad about this. I want them to figure it out, not for me to tell them how to do it, what I want. I know this isn't fair, men are not mind readers. But if I told them what I wanted, it would lose that atmosphere of the man being in charge, taking control. I want to relinquish the control.
The solution to all of the above is one man and one woman coming to an agreement over time.
He needs to understand her needs. This requires listening as well as empathy. To understand women, men need to read between the lines of their statement. Not only is her choice of words often important, what she leaves unsaid can speak volumes.
She needs to be assured that, no matter how awkward or unpleasant things become, he is not going to give up. The focus should be on the woman and the relationship.I need to know that the man won't give up on us. Will continue to spank me, no matter what. Even when I fight it and then spank me more for fighting it. :)
There is likewise no substitute for communication beyond “Me Tarzan; you Jane!” Sometimes, a woman needs to talk out her problems – even if she is really trying to connive her way out of a spanking.
I have talked my way out of a spanking so many times I lost count. Need someone who won't back down from his original thoughts.
Often, even if a man has the last word on the matter, the woman needs to vent her emotions and feelings upfront. Then, once she has exhausted herself, her resistance is replaced by susceptibility to crying.
Nature tends to be helpful in these things. When a woman has to live with someone day in and day out, keeping up an impervious facade can become more difficult than if the relationship is more superficial and transient.
At some point, if they work together long enough, over time, two events are eventually going to coincide. She is going to need a spanking and she is going to need to cry at the same time.Couldn't agree more.
Once her emotional dam is cracked, it becomes more difficult to repair than before she lost her composure. A new pattern has been learned.
At this point, a word of caution is in order. The woman who re-establishes her stoic nature has lost her trust. A man needs to examine himself to discover what he may have done to contribute to her emotional u-turn and remedy the situation.
As with many areas of marriage, the mistake the man needs to avoid at all times is expecting too much too soon and giving too little too late. Patience will be rewarded if the man takes the time to understand and has the determination to follow through.Amen!!
