Chapter 1: Afterglow


Fiona felt herself floating again.  No, not literally, as she 
had been a few moments before when the spell was at last 
broken.  But now, enveloped firmly and protectively in Shrek's 
huge, strong arms, their bodies pressed snugly against each 
other, their lips joined in a long, ardent kiss, Fiona felt as 
if she were -- as if THEY were -- transcending into another 
plane of existence.  A plane in which only two beings existed; 
a handsome, brave, green-skinned knight and his beautiful 
ogress princess.
 
"Uuuh ... Your Majesty?"
 
Fiona dimly registered the faint, distant, unrecognized voice.  
She felt Shrek gently begin to pull away in response to the 
sound.  "NO!" she felt her soul cry, then she wrapped her arms 
as far around him as she could and drew him back even closer to 
her.  She heard him grunt slightly, surprised at her strength, 
but then he hugged her back more tightly as well.  She felt her 
heart racing and, pressed against him as she was, she thought 
she could feel his heartbeat as well, almost in synch with 
hers.  They had to break the kiss for a moment, desperate as 
they were for air.  They each took a few brief, shallow gasps, 
and opened their eyes just wide enough to look upon each 
other's yearning faces.  "Wow," Fiona whispered, grinning 
giddily, then they each shut their eyes again and renewed the 
kiss.
 
"Excuse me?  Your Highness?"
 
The same voice as before.  It was getting annoying.  She wished 
she could just shut it out completely.  And then she 
remembered; as an ogress, she could!  And so she did, curling 
her ears up into little balls that almost no sound could 
penetrate.

She and Shrek continued to exist as one for several seconds 
more, and then Shrek slowly but firmly pulled away.  Fiona 
languidly opened her eyes as he slid his huge hands across her 
back until they gently held her upper arms.   She let her own 
hands slide down until they rested against the sides of his 
waist -- his "love handles," as they said.  She giggled at the 
appropriateness.  Her eyes took a moment to focus as she 
reluctantly descended back into reality.  When they did, she 
saw him looking at her, his expression anxious.  He looked like 
he wanted -- he NEEDED -- to say something.  She uncurled her 
ears to hear him.

"Fiona..." he began, then halted.

"Yes ... Shrek?" she gently prodded.

"Fiona, would ye m-- ...  would ye ma--" he tried to ask, his 
resolve sputtering.  Eventually he gave a great sigh, smiled 
weakly, and asked, "Would ye maybe like t'see my swamp?"

Fiona returned his smile and replied, "Yes, I'd like that."  
She of course knew it wasn't what he was about to ask.  And she 
was afraid she knew what he WAS about to ask.  Not that she had 
any doubt about what her answer would have been.  But things 
were happening so very fast right now that perhaps it was best 
if they both took a while to catch their breaths.  Well, a 
LITTLE while, anyway.

"Then step right up fer your ride," Shrek grinned, and gestured 
towards at the dragon.

"One ride to Ogre Swamp, coming right up -- or right down, 
anyways!" Donkey buoyantly called from atop Dragon's head, then 
slid back down her neck until he clung to her chandelier 
necklace.  "That's our fare, babe, let's go get 'em!" Donkey 
said to Dragon.  Dragon nodded, spread her wings and dropped 
from her perch in the window to the stage below, still managing 
to make a noticeable thud when she landed.  There were several 
fearful gasps from among the crowd -- and one from Fiona.

Fiona looked up at the dragon.  The great beast smiled down at 
her as Donkey peered from around Dragon's neck.  "Say, 
Princess!" he joked, "Can I tell people 'bout your little 
secret now?"

"Oh?" Shrek said, and teasingly asked Fiona, "This secret 
o'yours -- is it that you're an ogress, or is there somethin' 
else?"

"No, that's it," Fiona chuckled, but it was more than a bit 
forced.  His and Donkey's jests had suddenly reminded her of 
where she was -- and what she was.  She dared a glance toward 
the pews, where she saw hundreds of pairs of other eyes peering 
back at her.  She quickly, reflexively shifted her gaze 
downward, and found herself staring past the front of her 
Rubenesque figure at the palms of her large green hands, which 
immediately began to tremble and perspire. 

She felt Shrek lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and he 
adroitly stepped forward and to the side, positioning his wide 
body between herself and her view of the audience -- and they 
of her.  "Let's go, Fiona," he said quietly but firmly, then 
nodded up to the dragon, who returned the nod and offered Fiona 
one of her hand-like front paws to climb onto.  But as Dragon 
reached down, Fiona instinctively stepped back from the claws 
of the creature that had kept her prisoner for years, and had, 
the last time Fiona had seen her, been trying her best to burn 
her to a crisp. 

Shrek wrapped a comforting arm around Fiona as her entire body 
began to tremble.  "I'm sorry," she said, not far from tears 
now, "everything -- it's all been so much -- I think it's all 
starting to catch up to me."

"There, there, it's all right," Shrek said, stoking her hair as 
she laid her head against his chest, "you'll feel better when 
we get to th' swamp.  Let's try again, shall we--"

But Fiona wasn't finished.  "And those people -- and THIS --" 
she gestured toward her body, "it's something I've been 
terrified of since -- as long as I can remember."

"It's okay," he said, trying to sound soothing.  He now cradled 
her in both arms as she continued to talk, her movements 
becoming more agitated and her words coming out faster and more 
shaky.

"Everything's topsy-turvy -- Farquaad turning out to be such a 
monster -- the dragon showing up like she did -- and most of 
all -- most of all --"

She paused then, and looked up at his face.  She gingerly laid 
a hand against his cheek and spoke, her body and voice suddenly 
steady again,  "And most of all my true love, coming to my 
rescue yet again.  Rescuing me from him.  And rescuing me -- 
from myself."

Shrek gave a short, self-conscious grin.  He slid his arms down 
from her back until his hands rested against the sides of her 
waist. "I'm just sorry I couldn't be the Prince Charmin' ye 
dreamed about all those years," he said. "Like ye said, I 
wasn't supposed t'be an ogre."

"That's okay," she said with a short, self-deprecating chuckle, 
"neither was I.  At least I didn't think so.  Now I -- I'm not 
so sure this wasn't how it was meant to be all along.  I just 
don't know.  Everything I thought I DID know -- that I DID 
believe -- it was all just cr-- I mean, it all just crumbled.  
Right now, there's only ONE thing I AM sure of.  And that is, 
I'd rather live the rest of my life with this --" she motioned 
to her body again -- "than live it without you."

Shrek blushed, then gently took her hand from his cheek and 
kissed it.  "Let's go home," he said.

Fiona's eyes seemed to lose focus then.  "Home," she repeated 
the word reflectively, as if it were from some foreign tongue 
and represented a new and unfamiliar concept.  After a few 
seconds lost in this state she snapped back to attention, 
looked back up at Shrek, smiled, and said, "Yes.  I'd like 
that.  I'd like that very much."

Shrek gestured back to Dragon's paw, which was still 
outstretched and awaited her.  Fiona looked up at the beast, 
who nodded reassuringly.  Fiona sighed, bit her lip, and took a 
tentative step towards her.

"Excuse me, Queen Fiona?"

Fiona halted.  She recognized the voice as the one she was 
hearing when she and Shrek were -- preoccupied.  Now she looked 
to the direction it came from and saw two men standing beside 
each other about twenty feet away, beside the pedestal that 
still held the queen's crown.  Both were in upper-class formal 
outfits.  One -- the one who spoke -- was a thin man with wire-
rimmed spectacles, a balding head, and a small moustache.  He 
stood about a foot taller than Farquaad had, but was still 
short.   A large briefcase, which he held by both hands, 
dangled before him -- he looked so frail that Fiona didn't 
wonder why he needed both hands to hold it.  His face wore a 
serious expression, with a hint of anxiety but no real fear.  
The other man was taller, a little above normal height (HUMAN 
normal height, she corrected herself), with a rotund body.  His 
face bore such an exaggerated, plastered-on grin that Fiona 
guessed him for a politician.  Then she remembered -- he WAS a 
politician.  He was the mayor of Duloc, in fact.  She dimly 
recalled being introduced to him and the town council earlier 
that day.  Of course, she didn't remember much about that -- 
most of the day her mind had been on Shrek.  But Farquaad had 
insisted on her meeting them, since she was about to become--

"Queen Fiona," the smaller man said again in a matter-of-fact 
manner void of any readable emotion.  He then and bowed curtly 
and said, "I apologize for the intrusion.  My name is Clarence 
Beaglely.  I am the town manager of Duloc.  And this, as you 
may recall from earlier today --" he gestured to his companion, 
"is Mayor Mumphord Milquest."  Miquest also bowed awkwardly.

"My -- regrets -- for the tribulations you just endured," 
Beaglely said, "but I offer my congratulations for your 
ascendancy to the crown."

Fiona blinked, confused, sure she couldn't be hearing what she 
was hearing.  She and the two men continued to stare at each 
other for a few seconds more.  She noticed the mayor's face 
never dropped its plastered grin, but beads of sweat were 
beginning to pop out on his forehead and he glanced every so 
often at the dragon, who was now watching the two men with wary 
eyes.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" Donkey asked, confused.

"That's what I'd like t'know," Shrek said gruffly, taking a 
step forward to stand by Fiona and frowning suspiciously at the 
two men.

Beaglely, still looking at Fiona, nudged the mayor in the ribs 
sharply.  The larger man grunted, but then finally sprang to 
life.

"Oh, yes!" Milquest said in a very officious tone.  He turned, 
removed the remaining crown from its pedestal, then turned back 
to face Fiona and held the crown towards her.  "Your Majesty," 
he said, his deep, throaty voice carrying across the church, 
"as mayor of Duloc, it is my privilege to offer you this symbol 
of--"

"Hold the phone!" Shrek rumbled, "She can't be queen!  They 
never completed the marriage ceremony!"

"Technically, they did," Beaglely spoke again, "the priest 
officially pronounced them 'man and wife, king and queen.'  
Isn't that right, Father?"

From a far corner of the chancel, the elderly priest, who had 
quietly retreated there when Shrek had first started his charge 
up the aisle, nervously and quietly replied, "Uuuuh -- y-yes."

"You see," Beaglely said, "she has officially been pronounced 
'Queen.'"

"But they never even kissed!" Shrek argued.

Beaglely shrugged.  "The kiss was superfluous," he said 
dismissively, "it was, one might say, simply icing on the royal 
wedding cake."
 
"See, Shrek?" Donkey said from his roost, "I tol'ja cake would 
fit into this somehow!"
 
Shrek rolled his eyes as Beaglely continued, "The moment the 
priest pronounced them married, Dulocian law made them king and 
queen.  Lord-- rather, KING Farquaad was right to that extent.   
And now that the King is --" he glanced at the dragon, 
"indisposed --" he looked back at the ogres, "that means not 
only that the princess is now our queen, she is the sole 
reigning ruler of Duloc."
 
"Wait one cotton pickin' minute!" Shrek continued to object, 
"She --"
 
Shrek stopped himself short when he felt the hand on his 
shoulder.  He looked over to see Fiona.  She had at first 
appeared shell-shocked at Beaglely's pronouncements.  Now she 
seemed to have regained her composure somewhat.  She smiled 
uneasily at Shrek and said, "It's okay.  I think I can handle 
this."
 
Fiona took a few steps forward and addressed Beaglely directly.  
"Mr. Beaglely, I'm honored by the title you're trying to bestow 
on me but -- well, recall that little light show a few minutes 
ago?"
 
He nodded.
 
"Well," she continued, "what you saw was the breaking of a 
spell that for years turned me into a human during the day and 
-- and this form at night.  Now that it is broken, however, I 
anticipate that I will retain this form -- " she looked back at 
Shrek and added comfortingly, "love's true form --" then back 
to Beaglely, "for the rest of my life.  So tell me, Mr. 
Beaglely," she gestured to her body, "is this how your queen is 
expected to look?"
 
"It is ... different," Beaglely acknowledged stoically, "But 
there is nothing in Dulocian law that specifically states that 
its monarch MUST be a human.  So, now that THAT issue is out of 
the way --"
 
Beaglely nodded to Milquest, who stepped up to the ogress.  Her 
face still bore the mixture of shock and surprise it took on at 
Beaglely's nonchalant dismissal of her concern.
 
Milquest placed the crown upon Fiona's head, and announced in a 
loud voice, "GOD SAVE HER ROYAL MAJESTY, QUEEN FIONA OF DULOC!"
 
Milquest and Beaglely then each knelt on one knee, and both 
said ceremoniously, in unison, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"  Milquest 
then motioned to the cue card worker, who shuffled through his 
cards for a moment, tossed aside one that read "God save the 
King! " then held one up that read, 
"God save the Queen! "  Most of the Dulocians responded in 
unison, " GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"  The card worker then held up 
the next card in succession, one that read "Applause."
 
Fiona dared to look out at the crowd for the first time since 
that glance she had ventured a bit earlier.  They were all 
looking directly at her, and nearly all were applauding.  There 
were a few exceptions -- for example, a soldier off to the side 
who wore a decorative sash across one shoulder of his dress 
uniform -- she assumed this meant a high rank of some sort -- 
but nearly everyone else was clapping and smiling.  She had to 
glance back down at herself to make sure she hadn't magically 
transformed back to her human state.  When she saw she hadn't, 
she felt tears of joy start to well up in her eyes.
 
"OH, FOR THE LOVE O' PETE!" Shrek bellowed and stormed across 
the stage, in front of and then past Fiona.
 
"Shrek?!" Fiona called out, but he ignored her as he made his 
way directly to the cue card worker.  The worker, seeing the 
enraged ogre approaching him, froze in fright, then held up his 
cadre of cards in front of him as if he thought that might 
yield some protection.
 
"GIMME THOSE!" Shrek snarled, and viciously grabbed the cards 
from the man's hands.  Shrek then tore the entire group of 
cards in half with one rip, stacked the two halves together, 
and tore THEM in half with one rip.  He then threw the remains 
down in disgust and addressed the crowd.
 
"ARE YE ALL DAFT?!" he yelled angrily, "WHAT 'ERE YE, SOME 
MINDLESS ROBOTS?  I DON'T KNOW WHAT FARQUAAD DID TO TURN YE 
INTO SUCH BLOODY BLEETIN' SHEEP, BUT HE'S GONE NOW!  SO 
APPLAUD, OR DON'T APPLAUD, OR DO WHATEVER ELSE YA DARN WELL
FEEL LIKE FER YERSELVES!  FER GOD'S SAKES, YOU'VE GOT YER OWN 
MINDS.  SO USE 'EM AND BE YER FRICKIN' SELVES!!!"
 
For several seconds there was a great buzz among the Dulocians 
as they turned and murmured to each other.  Then nearly the 
entire congregation turned toward Shrek and broke into a round 
of loud, spontaneous applause.  Shrek's expression quickly 
changed from one of outrage to bewilderment.  He looked back at 
Fiona, and he saw her looking at him with a blend of loving 
admiration at his actions and amusement as his reaction.
 
"Oh, I give up!" Shrek said, tossing up his arms in 
resignation.  He then strode over to stand by the new queen.
 
"Look, Fiona, we--" he began as he reached her side, but his 
words were cut off as she reached up, grabbed the top of his 
shirt with both hands, pulled him forward, and planted a hard 
kiss on his lips. Then she let go and he nearly fell backwards.
 
"What was THAT for?!" he asked, flabbergasted.
 
"For what you did!  That was GREAT!" Fiona bubbled, "That was 
absolutely wonderful!  Shrek, you're a natural leader!"
 
"I am?" he asked, puzzled.  Although it wasn't his intent, he 
was glad this made her happy.   But somewhere in his mind a red 
warning flag had started waving.
 
"Of course!" she said, "Oh, this will be wonderful!  You and I, 
here in Duloc, helping these people start new lives, build a 
new local culture, even!  Oh, it's so exciting!"

Shrek started to say something, but Fiona quickly turned back 
to Milquest and Beaglely and said, "Prithee excuse me, kind 
sirs.  I fear I haven't properly introduced you.  This is my 
..." Fiona mentally cast about for a moment, trying to think of 
a proper title, then settled for the wholly inadequate "... 
friend, Shrek."

Shrek detected a slight change in the tone with which she spoke 
-- and it sent a shiver up his spine.  It was the tone she used 
when she "played" the princess -- the carefully regulated 
modulation he had heard in the castle when he had first met 
her, and later when she met Farquaad.  Shrek wasn't sure what 
was going on inside that lovely head of hers, but it was 
starting to scare him.  Whatever it was, it had to be nipped in 
the bud -- NOW.  So he reached forward, placed one hand on 
either of Fiona's shoulders and gave three quick shakes, hoping 
to bring her back down to reality.  Fiona's head whiplashed 
with the jostling, her crown very nearly toppling off, and as 
soon as he finished her eyes settled on him, surprise and shock 
registering on her face.

"Fiona -- dearest --" he began, using a term of endearment for 
her for the first time.  His kept his hands on her shoulders, 
and tried to keep his voice soft but firm as he continued, 
"it's time fer us t'go."

She stared back at him, her expression torn between 
incomprehension and reluctance.  He sighed, then turned to 
Beaglely and Milquest.  "Sorry -- gentlemen --" he said, "but 
you'll hav'ta find yourselves another queen.  The lady says 
NO."