Need a new saying? Ever felt stupid?

Mandy Collette and Whitney Nichole
https://www.angelfire.com/va/happyworld

c_a_smile@hotmail.com

https://www.angelfire.com/va/happyworld
c_a_smile@hotmail.com

Stupid/funny sayings (yes, we-or someone we know-have actually said all of these) Oh, and some of these are inside jokes....

    On the phone:

  1. "I think he drew a penis in my book!" ~Mandy "Is it drawn to scale?" ~Whitney "I hope not...it's deformed." ~Mandy
  2. "He can now be called 'Penis Boy'!" ~Whitney
  3. "I did something bad. And I can tell you because I know you'll forgive me and not think bad of me because you love me." ~Mandy "Who was it?" ~Whitney "Why do you automatically assume I did that?" ~Mandy "We've had this conversation enough for me to know." ~Whitney

    Fourth of July:

  4. "I think I want an asshole." ~Whitney "Honey, all we have to do is go up the _______'s driveway." ~Mandy
  5. "What's in an asshole? Other than crack, cocaine, heroin?" ~Mandy
  6. "This is MY stop! I've got to get OFF!" ~Whitney
  7. "He and I have done it 68 times." ~Mandy "And 69." ~Whitney
  8. "What kind of crack were we on? It must have been some bad stuff." ~Mandy "Or the really GOOD stuff." ~Whitney
  9. "I was going ZOOM and it was going MOVE!" ~Jennifer
  10. "I am in demand!" ~Whitney "You're like PayPerView." ~Mandy
  11. "Why did I open the fridge?" ~Whitney (looking in the freezer) "Ice?" ~Mandy "No, actually I was looking for a can opener." ~Whitney
  12. "Oh...I got a hole...it's a little one, but I got a hole." ~Mandy
  13. "I don't know which hole to use!" ~Whitney
  14. "I'm looking for new ways to show my alcoholism." ~Mandy
  15. "He says I'm beautiful." ~Whitney "Oh, honey, you never told me he was blind." ~Mandy
  16. "That's why it's good to be skinny. You don't have to worry about cannibles trying to eat you." ~Mandy
  17. "Superglue is your friend. Creamed corn is not." ~Marlin
  18. "A mine rescue is like drilling through rock." ~CNN
  19. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks!" ~Whitney and Mandy. "I'm screwed then." ~Marlin

    We have added a special edition of Winter Break 2001-2002 quotes. Hope you enjoy!

  20. "You whore, you've been on me all day, get off!"~Whitney
  21. "Are you going to come to Indiana and do it with me?"~Mandy
  22. "I AM the unattainable fuck!"~Whitney
  23. "I keep finding random clothes in my trunk."~Whitney
  24. "I'm gonna go play with the slot."~Mandy
  25. "My car has the hots for you Mandy."~Whitney
  26. "Just because there is a 2 and a 1 in your age doesn't make it legal."~Mandy
  27. "I get to tease him but not please him."~Mandy
  28. "At least our boobs are perky."~Mandy "And we have ghetto asses."~Whitney
  29. "I've got a great ass."~Stacy "Not really."~Mandy "I've seen better."~Kenneth
  30. "Jay and I are connected at the hip these days."~Kenneth "You could get alcohol poisoning like that."~Mandy
  31. "Don't make me use my tongue."~Mandy "What are you doing later?"~Kenneth
  32. "On Tuesday we're there."~Jay "Where is there?"~Corey "Probably no where since nothing will be open, but we'll be there."~Jay
  33. "I bet that sign on that tree says 'If you hit this you've come too far. Turn left."~Jay
  34. "We could throw her in the fire."~Jay "She probably wouldn't burn."~Mandy
  35. "Hey hon...so how much crack do you go through in a day?"~Whitney
  36. "She has a tooth and it's set way back in her head and it's all black because it's dead. You deserve better than dead teeth."~Mandy
  37. "Whitney you don't have to feel like such a lard ass anymore."~Sharon(Whitney's mom)
  38. "Straight or out?"~Whitney
  39. "As Kevin Lew says 'Nothing goes up the poopy chute."~Mandy
  40. "We should get tattoos. 'Exit Only' then 'Vacancy' on the front."~Mandy
  41. "We don't know how their minds work, but we do know how other things work."~Mandy
  42. "That boy doesn't have any brains but he uses his tongue well."~Whitney
  43. "Cause she's a who-re."~Pam(Mandy's mom)
  44. "When you drink, you're only killing off the weakest brain cells. You're really making yourself smarter."~Jay
  45. "I'm only 19 but I can do anything a guy your age can do."~Dewayne "Um...yeah I'm going to dance with them."~Mandy
  46. "Help! She just bit me."~James
  47. "I'm going to cut off your legs giggles."~Haunted House guy "One of them is fake, is that okay?"~Mandy
  48. "I've decided what I'm going to do! Mail order kids from Romania!"~Mandy
  49. "If you think about it, the police probably aren't in the station so it's the safest place to speed."~Mandy
  50. "Stupidity of the ward A Day."~Whitney
  51. "Don't touch my banana."~TV "What the fuck are you two listening to?"~Gary
  52. "What about my banana?"~Gary "I don't know the TV told me not to touch it."~Mandy
  53. "Here comes a car. Oh no, that's just me."~Whitney
  54. "I can find the hole!"~Mandy "You'd make a much better man than me."~Whitney
  55. "OH MY GOD!"~Mandy "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."~Jay "Well, that's the only time you'll ever hear it."~Mandy
  56. "Finding the hole should not be this big of a problem."~Mandy
  57. "Was she at least a good fuck?"~Mandy
  58. "Hey bitch...and they all turn around."~Tony
  59. "I didn't need college to learn all that...I had high school."~Mandy
  60. "Why weren't you up on the hill freezing your ass off like the rest of us?"~Laney "I don't know...I guess I'm just smarter than the rest of you."~Whitney
  61. "We can get Whitney to her car, we'll just have to use another car to get her there."~Gary "Hiding?"~Mandy "Maybe."~Gary
  62. "Limp Bizkit."~Gary "That sounds like a personal problem."~Mandy
  63. "Whit gave the bottle head."~Mandy "Well do it again...but don't use my bottle."~Gary
  64. "I couldn't swallow fast enough."~Jay
  65. "Hand check! Okay notice how Mandy's hands are all the way on his side of the truck and Laney's are all the way on her's."~Whitney
  66. "I'm an exhibitionist not a voyeur!"~Whitney
  67. "I'm impressed with Laney's ability to drive while they're making out."~Whitney "I think she's moved on to voyeurism."~Mandy
  68. "Whit always straddles the cooler."~Mandy "Yeah, well Mandy straddles everything else."~Whitney
  69. "I thought she said 'you can't lick just one.'"~Mandy
  70. "You give me a call when you get out of law school cuz...well...I'm gonna need you."~Shane
  71. "That tickles."~Laney "What?"~Mandy "Stop..."~Laney "Stop what?"~Mandy "Oh my god! I thought you were her."~Laney to Shane "What happened?"~Whitney "I think Shane was just playing with Laney's butt."~Mandy
  72. "All three of them will not fit in that bathroom...hell the 3rd one is the only one that will fit at all."~Jay
  73. "Okay, we need to get me out of here before that entire booth jumps me."~Mandy
  74. "It don't matter what they do...as long as we're invited."~Gouge
  75. "Hey daddy. Remember crazy Mike with the long hair and earrings? This is his little brother."~Mandy
  76. "You have my permission to drink as much as you want tonight."~Whitney
  77. "Oh, but you're different?"~Laney "Well, I like to think I'm not a whiny clingy possessive bitch."~Mandy
  78. "Do girls gawk at you? I mean really...do they?"~Mandy
  79. "Next I'll bark."~Whitney "You start barking and you're out of the truck."~Mandy
  80. "Mandy knows too much about me...that's the problem...she knows everything."~Whitney
  81. You should be proud. I was good last night."~Mandy "What did you do?"~Whitney "Nothing. I didn't even lose any clothing."~Mandy
  82. "It was either silver or grey."~Mandy "Brown or green."~Whitney
  83. "If she comes around I'm gonna grab whatever I can grab so don't stick out anything you don't want me to grab."~Whitney
  84. "I'm submissive to you...I'm just not a submissive girlfriend."~Whitney
  85. "Could you be more whorish?"~Whitney "I could take off a shirt."~Mandy
  86. "Horns are going to start turning me on...Mandy, don't honk at me!"~Whitney
  87. "I was fine with the honking...it was the rocking that got me."~Whitney

    Law Student Quotes:

  88. "What was his reasoning behind that exactly?" Jason (heehee...don't ask)
  89. "I'm not capable of dating anyone!" ~Kristin
  90. "Everytime my best friend's wife gets pregnant, he blames me." ~Rob
  91. "[He] would have class if he had a gerbil stuck up his ass." ~Kristin
  92. "I thought all you girls from the boondocks of VA were easy." ~Mark
  93. "Does everyone have a boyfriend but me?" ~Rob
  94. "I have a headache." ~Mandy "You need to move further from the headboard next time." ~Jeff
  95. "Why aren't you talking to me? You're supposed to be talking to me!" ~Mandy "You don't give me much of an opportunity to." ~Dave
  96. "If the long program is what I think it is, I would win a gold medal." ~Charlie
  97. "I feel like we're on 90210. Fourth season. Only no beach." ~Kristin
  98. "Girlfriends are like a disease. All he needs is a remedy." ~Mandy
  99. "I had a friend who had the Concord as a mascot...yeah, that's a grape..." ~Dave
  100. "I'm dying!" ~Mandy "Oh! Can I have your clothes?" ~Kristin
  101. "I think if he wrote with a pink pen he'd be the most popular guy in prison." ~Mandy
  102. "I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't know he was under 18!" ~Kristin
  103. "There are these pictures of me on the internet." ~Mandy
  104. "Mandy's going to marry me." ~Mikey "Why would I do that? It'd just put me further back in the alphabet." ~Mandy
  105. "I had a cousin with a hole in his heart. We used to love to watch him turn blue." ~Linda
  106. "I own every man's nuts!" ~Drunk Mandy
  107. "If I had to choose between Tori Spelling and a tree, I would totally take the tree." ~Mark
  108. "Right now I'LL hit on his friend!" ~Drunk Charlie
  109. "Guess what Dave! I'm normal!" ~Mandy
  110. "I once made love to a chia pet named Herman." ~Mike
  111. "He can't even run a Burger King, but he's a sophisticated business man." ~Prof. Dooley
  112. "I have nothing left to say." ~Kristin "Oh my god! I've succeeded!" ~Mandy
  113. "I always wanted to make a stuffed animal porno." ~Charlie
  114. "That gives a whole new meaning to I've got a sword in my pants." ~Dave
  115. "I'm little. I can slide between people's legs!" ~Mandy
  116. "Since he doesn't have a uterus, we'll adopt." ~Kristin

    The next quotes are our old quotes, but they're still funny.

  117. "I got a Tiffany t-shirt! I rule!" ~Mandy
  118. "Mandy's going to f*ck me." ~Whitney
  119. "I'm a bisexual pimp!" ~Whitney
  120. "You have sex all over you." ~Whitney
  121. "When two girls love each other...I mean REALLY love each other..." ~Mandy
  122. "I'm sitting here smelling myself." ~Whitney
  123. "Well, when Rich called me Mandy it sobered me right up." ~Whitney
  124. "Don't make me lick you!" ~Mandy
  125. "It's one of those things that was set in stone and turned to wax." ~Mandy
  126. "He's been acting for a long time. Like since he was a sperm and an egg." ~Mandy
  127. "That was pig latin for 'I'll give you money if you go down on me'." ~Kevin
  128. "Ohh baby...ohh baby...EWWW!" ~Whit and Mandy
  129. "Got a baseball bat?" ~Whitney "I got a knee." ~Mandy
  130. "Guys, that's like...a bus...with wheels..." ~Kimmy
  131. "The truth can't be mean...it can hurt, but it can't be mean." ~Mandy
  132. "Kids, party responsibly. That means if you're going to get drunk, make sure the parents aren't around." ~Radio on New Year's
  133. "You got my cat drunk???" ~Mandy
  134. "What drunk idiot threw pretzels all over the place?" ~Whitney "That would be YOU!" ~Mandy
  135. "Damn...I hope they don't wreck...I love that b*tch" ~Whitney
  136. "Look at the giggly blond!" ~Gary
  137. "He was the fat boy with Bill...that's an oxymoron!" ~Whitney
  138. "Stalker much?" ~Mandy
  139. "Guys, I just don't feel right getting drunk in front of a bible book store." ~Kevin
  140. "We had a difference of opinion in high school. I thought those girls sucked and...well, they sucked him." ~Mandy
  141. "I don't like her...I don't know her, but she just looks like someone I wouldn't like." ~Mandy
  142. "That ain't bad manners, that's good beer!" ~all the guys
  143. "It's Myrtle Bitch!" ~Whitney
  144. "I thought it was illegal to chop down trees!" ~Mandy
  145. "How can you have half a dollar?" ~Mandy
  146. "No, see, if he had said 'I want to RAPE you' that would have been bad!" ~Mandy
  147. "Mandy, why's there only one moon?" ~Whitney
  148. "I had kissed him before so it wasn't like I was really cheating." ~Mandy
  149. "It was like kissing a drunk candy cane!" ~Whitney
  150. "Not that I would dis you for a guy or anything, but...could you leave?" ~Whitney
  151. "Desperation is not a pretty state...it's kind of like Wyoming." ~Mandy
  152. "Our friendship is like the blizzard of '96...cold and large and binding." ~Mandy
  153. "But he's a tradition...it happens every year." ~Mandy
  154. "Man, I'm f*cked up as a football bat." ~Kevin
  155. "I gotta pee like a squirrel on a Friday night." ~Kevin
  156. "Flower bitch brawl breaks out at redneck wedding." ~Mandy
  157. "If you go into a coma, I'll take you home!" ~Mandy
  158. "Slow Children Playing? That's SO mean!" ~Mandy
  159. "Slut." ~Whitney "Bitch." ~Mandy "Whore." ~Whitney "I'm glad you finally noticed!" ~Mandy
  160. "His head just looked like a giant watermelon coming at my face." ~Mandy
  161. "Guys, I swear I didn't just milk myself...It's diet coke." ~Whitney
  162. "If what goes up must come down, what happens if it gets stuck in a tree?" ~Mandy
  163. "I'm very perspective...I mean perseptive!" ~Whitney
  164. "I'm not drunk! The rug was slickery!" ~Mandy
  165. "They were out of something else just as nasty!" ~Whitney
  166. "At least I didn't commit a felony on your bed." ~Mandy
  167. "No, I swear, I'm over him...until summer..." ~Mandy
  168. "Feel my tube!" ~Mandy
  169. "Ok, so, the third time wasn't exactly a charm." ~Mandy
  170. "Friends are friends, and buddies sleep together, but if you get paid for it, you're still friends." ~Tami, Mandy, Whitney
  171. "Is it considered going steady if the guy is with you, but you aren't with him?" ~Whitney
  172. "So, should I keep calling him little?" ~Mandy
  173. "He thinks I had sex with him, but I don't remember it. I must not have been there." ~Mandy
  174. "If I study too much...I'll be stupid." ~Whitney
  175. "I was standing on your foot? OH! I thought you were standing on MINE!" ~Mandy
  176. "I can't live without my incest...I mean incense!" ~Whitney
  177. "Um...no, that's called having sex." ~Mandy
  178. "I hate law abiding citizens and helpful salespeople!" ~Whitney