"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
"In dog years, I'm dead."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or
fight its enemies is 'lunch.' "
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of
dogs."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around
three times before lying down."
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I
think that is how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all
night wondering if there really is a Dog?"
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers."
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the
guts to bite people themselves."
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
religious cult."
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents
a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I
have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person
with pets."
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you
are wonderful."
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea."
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone
should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore
him."
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is
one of the most fond memories!"
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make
it look like the dog did it."
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of
his tail."
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as
the dog does."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are
his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to
the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such
devotion."
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and
your dog would go in."
"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the
better for it."
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where
they went."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great
Dane."
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed
contempt,and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
