Little Known Facts
about Louis and Lestat

by DarkAngel
with generous suggestions from
Father of Lies to whom it is dedicated.

This piece of speculative fiction is not meant to infringe upon, sidle up to, nor slip in on top of the rights of SOME CRAZY BITCH WHO SUES HER FANS), Knopf Publishing or it’s subsidiaries, Kith and Kin, Geffen Pictures, Warner Home Video, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, The Estate of Pointe du Lac, L’etat d’Auvergne, The Talamasca, Pointedulac Renovation and Construction, The Lion Court - Bar and Strip Club, Dulac Real Estate - New Orleans, LA, Melmoth Prophylactics Company, L&L Gazebo and Porch Swing Manufacturing, Amadeo World Enterprises, Molloy Bourbon Distillery, any other SPEC Authors, any SPEC readers, their pets, close relatives or chiropractors. Thankyou.



My Dear SPECtators,
I began writing this in 1996 when I first discovered the a.b.a.r Archive. I want you all to know that if any of the statements below directly or indirectly oppose or contradict anything that has been written in your or any other SPEC, this is unintentional, and I am sorry. Conversely if anything contained below has already been stated in your or any other SPEC, this is also unintentional and again I am sorry. It is just for fun. One vampire’s view. Please enjoy.
DarkAngel

SPOILERS: VampChron

Little Known Facts
about Louis and Lestat

I am a vampire, one who is known to you from the writings of the aforementioned. I do not wish to identify myself further than this, as I am not possessed of the need for fame.

I have read the "Anne Rice" books as well as the literature which has been appearing in alt.books.anne.rice. These are very interesting. Some are so close to reality that I feel convinced that I am not the first one of our little family to submit writings here. The portrayal of Louis and Lestat, in the books and in these specs, compels me to reveal a few of these facts (personal traits, mortal experiences, abilities, likes and dislikes) which may give everyone a clearer image of them. Even in their own writings, they fail to describe themselves or each other the way that I see them to actually be.

I do know them personally. I have lived with them. I am extremely fond of them both, this is why I feel the need to dispel the notions of a weak, whining Louis and a violent, self-centered Lestat. These are stereotypes which emphasize the very worst (notice I don’t actually say non-existent) qualities of these two very charming and well-rounded gentlemen quite out of proportion.

Lestat de Lioncourt
*******************

-loves puns. The worse the better.

-plays radio and CDs extremely loud. Has been made aware that this is quite annoying to every one else, but seems to revel in causing others to yell at him.

-often breaks into to song with little or no provocation, usually accompanied by dancing. Has actually danced on tables.

-being the last surviving member of his family, is technically the Marquis. He sometimes mentions this , as in "is this any way to treat le Marquis d’Auvergne?"

-is very sweet, often presents a member of the family with a single flower, for no reason at all.

-is terrible at video games and has very little patience for them, though he loves new technology and is very knowledgeable about computers. He can take them apart and put them together, though if he is asked to fix one, he is more likely to appear with a brand new one instead.

-writes poetry incessantly, some of it is very good, and a few are truly beautiful, but with the volume he produces, invariably most are going to be quite bad. This is also true for lyrics and music which any passerby is unfortunately subjected to.

-whenever he sees Tom Cruise, in magazines, videos or on television , has taken to exclaiming "There I am!" This started with the film and has now progressed, everyone has now picked it up, "There you are, Lestat!"

-still occasionally buys dolls, I am not sure what he does with them.

-will do nearly anything, including acrobatics, to make someone laugh. (this is usually practiced upon Louis)

-loves riddles.

-seems to know an infinite number of songs which he plays on the piano, he is a virtuoso. Plays more ragtime than classical, however.

-is a very tactile person. Hugs everyone as often as possible.

-takes an intense dislike to certain media (personalities, programs, movies, bands, songs, etc.) and will go on long tirades about these people or whatever it is, each and every time they appear, to the point where many of us offer to just go and kill them if this will in some way placate him.

-is still enamored with the Shakespearean play, "Macbeth", to the point of obsession. He has seen it countless times and purchases copies of it in print, on video and even on CD ROM. It is due to this obsession that the rest of us have been treated to : "Macbeth-the one man show", "MACBETH!-the musical", and even "Lady Macbeth-an all-drag revue" (the specifics of which I do not care to go into, and how he convinced the others to participate, I’ll never know )All have been delightful!

-is still deep in mourning over the seeming demise of the heavy metal music scene. You would think it was a close relative. Now he has closets full of black leather clothing which he claims he can’t wear anywhere.

-is terrible at spelling, but loves to work crosswords and cryptograms.

-would do anything, at any time, to help a member of the family.

-pouts often, over trivial things mostly, but this is usually short-lived.

-has sent the entire coven personalized autographed copies of all of his books, with his dialogue printed in red, of course.

-loves fresh flowers and has new bouquets delivered every night.

-has an intense dislike of insects.

-is much more generous and adorable than he has been described. Is constantly buying things for someone, or giving things away.

-is actually very paternal. He likes to take care of people and animals, and can be very gentle and comforting. Often teases his fledglings by referring to them as a father would "this is my youngest, David", or "Well, Louis is a middle child, so we must expect these things", "tell Papa what’s wrong", or even "Bedtime for you, young man" and "Go to your Room!"

-loves books, has stacks of them everywhere, including at other vampire’s lairs.

-his nicknames among us are "Trouble" and "Brat" (shortened from "Brat Prince" of which you are all aware). Once, at Night Island , several of us were sitting quietly together (reading, playing games etc.) when Lestat appeared suddenly in the middle of the room, striking a rather affected pose. "Who am I?" he demanded, trying to start a game of charades. Louis looked up from his book and said quietly, "The Nyades Road ghost?" Lestat has been The Nyades Road ghost ever since, as in, "Telephone call for the Nyades Road ghost", "Who do these boots belong to? " "The Nyades Road ghost" "Of course I didn’t do that, what do I look like, the Nyades Road ghost?" Daniel has taken to calling him NRG (energy).

-loves to play hide and seek in its many different variations.

-loves pseudonyms and uses them as often as possible. Often they are names of established characters, such as Clarence Oddbody. Has also used: Timothy Cratchit, Samuel Spade, Nick Charles, Dorian Gray and Rick Blaine. He also uses other people’s pseudonym’s, such as Oscar Wilde’s Sebastien Melmoth, has also used: Richard Bachman (Stephen King), Alan Smithee (any director who does not want to be associated with a film he or she made), Max Schreck (Name given for actor who portrayed Nosferatu, but strangely no records of a Max Schreck can be found), Apollo C. Vermouth (Paul McCartney) Dr. Winston O’Boogie (John Lennon) and even Pandora Spocks (Elizabeth Montgomery as Serena). Also likes Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Mark Twain, David Banner, Peter Parker, Thomas Mapother and Howard O’Brien. When making reservations or holding tickets for himself and Louis, loves to put them under some variation of Louis’ name, ie. Louis Lioncourt, Louis Armstrong, Lancelot DuLac, Joe Louis, Ludwig Loch, Luigi Punta Lago, Pointdexter Lewis or of course, Brad Pitt. And then makes Louis pick them up.

- is a dog person, as you have probably guessed. Talks more to Mojo than anyone else. Bathes and brushes him often. Takes those disgustingly cute pictures of him - Mojo on the couch, Mojo at the table, Mojo reading a book, Mojo in front of the Christmas Tree, Mojo at the computer, Mojo calling his broker, Mojo fixing the VCR, Mojo kicking back having a beer.

-is not particularly fond of cats, even as a meal.

- when they are living together, almost constantly messes with Louis’ hair, to the point where Louis threatens to smack him, and I believe actually has on occasion. Frets over it more than his own, even. HATES it short. Would only cut his own hair if it were somehow unavoidable.

- loves shopping, for himself or others.

- calls Louis "Precious Darling" if he thinks no one can hear him. It always makes Louis smile a little embarrassed smile. Louis almost certainly has little private names for Lestat, but he is far more discreet about them. I suspect, on the basis of some very circumstantial evidence, that one of them may be "Tomcat".

-would secretly love to have the entire existing coven living all together



Louis de Pointe du Lac
**********************

-has a beautiful voice. Sang in the choir of his parish cathedral as a child. Still sings softly to himself. Will sing with Lestat if cajoled long enough.

-loves the smell of grapes. It reminds him of his youth, there was a grape arbor at Pointe du Lac.

-often becomes enamored of certain television shows and will not miss them. Uses the VCR more than anyone else in the family, to the extent that he has worn out several machines. Has closets filled with shelf after shelf of tapes.

-often asks Lestat to play the piano for him.

-though they do argue and fight, even physically, Louis does have the best rapport with Lestat, and is often asked by others in the coven to "ask Lestat something for me, won’t you?". Which Louis always does.

-plays practical jokes, like sending Armand a series of tapes entitled, "How To Speak With A Spanish Accent", or sending boxes of cheap plastic fangs to any one of us. Since the film has come out, he always makes certain that a crimping iron is prominently displayed in their bathroom whenever they have guests. He has even had it engraved with Lestat’s initials.

-is a very good story teller.

-has a subtle , yet very lively , sense of humor. His standard greetings to Daniel include, "I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to talk to you" and "I never give interviews, monsieur". He had a fake book jacket with the title Daniel Molloy-Boy Reporter by Anne Rice made up, put it around a copy of their book (IWTV) and sent it to Night Island.

-is the "family" photographer.

-has an iron will, matched with a vicious temper. Though he is very slow to anger, and does tend more toward depression, when he is finally provoked, he is intimidating to us all, strength, age, and powers notwithstanding. All of us who have witnessed, or even heard about one of Louis’ rages (which have been few, four in over two hundred years) do all we can to avoid him during one of them. I can say with confidence that we would all fear to be the focus of one. You have certainly read about one, recorded in IWTV, in which he burns down the Theatre des Vampires. Another occurred during the time that we were all together, while Lestat was with Akasha. It was so upsetting to everyone that even Lestat, with his well known penchant for publishing even the most disturbing things about all of us, declined to include it in his book.

-keeps a record of everyone’s "birthdays"(some significant date in their lives if they don’t know their actual birthdate) and sends gifts.

-is an excellent speller and mathematician. He was trained early to keep the books and the plantation journal at Pointe du Lac. He has proof-read all of Lestat’s books, is the only one Lestat trusts to read his proofs without taking anything out, or changing anything. Has often been asked to check up on various mortal accountants retained by one or the other of us, to be certain that our investments are being handled wisely and honestly.

-usually pays little attention to his surroundings, allowing Lestat to decorate as he pleases when they are together, and doing nothing when he is alone, but enjoys the traditional holidays very much and loves to drape the entire house in greenery and ribbons and fruit for Christmas, as was done when he was a child at Pointe du Lac. Lestat loves to counteract this by buying the brightest, cheapest tackiest decorations ( huge plastic lighted Santa with reindeer for the roof, brightly colored elves everywhere, Fake-snow-in-a-can on the windows, lights that play Christmas carols and blink in time to the music, welcome mat that says "Ho Ho Ho" when stepped on, silver icicles strewn everywhere, mistletoe in every doorway, all kinds of automatons, such as are usually seen in store windows - Santas, Little Drummer Boys, Elves working, Christmas trees that fall over, ect. Shiny red and green garlands everywhere, and even one of those cardboard fireplaces, next to the real one) and putting them up before Louis wakes, or while Louis is out.

-loves candlelight. He often turns off the lights in his room and lights several candles instead. He has been lectured about the danger of this, but he persists in secret. When he is discovered he will blow them out and use electric light for a few nights. He has had his candles confiscated after setting off the smoke alarm.

-knows how to drive and usually has a car, but prefers motorcycles and nearly always has one. Says it is closer to horseback riding.

-when annoyed or irritated with Lestat will call him "Lestat Christophe Marie!". No one knows if this was Lestat’s actual name. When asked, Gabrielle claims she doesn’t remember, Lestat claims that it was not, Louis made it up. Louis will say only, "It is Lestat’s name."

-often disappears without warning. For instance, once, in 1990 when he was living with Lestat, he was sitting on the floor, watching a video in the living room, Lestat was in a chair behind him. Louis got up, turned to Lestat and said, "I’ll be back." Went into the kitchen, apparently out the window and was gone for three weeks. Lestat has threatened to put his face on a milk carton.

-according to Talamasca files, the name on Louis’ baptismal certificate was "Louis Michel Rene Antoine".

-loves to gamble. He generally stays away from casinos, but has cleaned every one of us out during card games. Always has a bet going somewhere. His nicknames among us are "Lucky" and "Ace" (we can’t all call him "Beautiful One"). Loves to play Pool or Billiards. Has been known to hustle other players.

-is still somewhat claustrophobic and suffers from vivid nightmares often.

-loves film and video. Avoids quoting them very much, but can identify nearly any quote that is put to him.

-adores video games, although he owns none himself. Becomes immersed in them for hours and loses all track of time. Has had to be literally dragged to safety at dawn.

-is the most avid and interested listener of all the vampires. Will sit for hours and listen to Maharet, Khayman or any of the others describe their lives as mortals or vampires. Has asked Daniel to tell him of all of the other stories he had collected before they met. Loves to listen to David’s adventures.

-has very refined manners. Still stands when a lady enters a room, opens doors, pulls out chairs, sends thank you notes, etc.

-is a very graceful dancer. Had lessons as a child.

-periodically puts great sums of money in church poor boxes.

-often uses the French pronunciation of our names, such as, Davide, Erique, Danielle.

-can discuss philosophy and religion at length.

-draws and paints but doesn’t want anyone else to ever see his work. He often burns it once it is completed. Lestat has stolen some of the sketches while Louis was out hunting, and he says they are quite good.

-loves jigsaw puzzles and board games, especially chess.

-was a cat person in his mortal life, and was always making pets of the cats at Pointe du Lac. Now however, he avoids pets mostly, but since he has had Mojo foisted upon him, takes very good care of him, and I believe, loves him very much. Mojo has formed a very close attachment to Louis, taking any opportunity to lay on his lap. If Lestat is gone, Mojo will follow Louis and never leave his side. Is somewhat opposed to all the picture taking, but only as much as to say, "Lestat, leave poor Mojo alone." Speaks to Mojo in French, claims that Mojo is bilingual.

-hates to shop for himself, but will shop for nights and nights to find just the right gift for Lestat.

-has no particular attachment to his hair, if not with Lestat, will cut it very short as soon as he wakes, but does not burn it, because he believes the odor would attract attention. As a result, has garbage bags full of hair that he regularly disposes of. Lestat likes to take them and give them to wig-makers and doll makers. This distresses Louis, but he cannot quite explain why.

-knows much more about Voodoo than you would ever believe. Not that he practices it . . .as far as I know.

-still uses his real name as much as possible, though Lestat advises against it. As forms and registrations have evolved, has changed it to Louis DePointeDuLac, then Louis Depointdulac, now it is usually Louis Pointedulac, or if the name space is especially short, Louis Dulac. When Lestat does prevail in forcing him to use a pseudonym, always uses something as far from his own name as possible, which results in Louis’ mail and phone messages coming for : Giovanni Martelli, Ciaran O’Shea, Bobby Lee James, Alexei Andropov, Angel Martinez, Dmitri Stadopolous, Biff Weatherington, Ping Chang Lee, Casimir Pulaski, DaShawn Lincoln, Ingmar Thorvaldson, Kefentse Unika, Israel Goldberg or Trinity Lovechild Smith. Lestat gets great joy out of this, and if he happens to retrieve the mail, or take a phone call, will often call Louis by whatever pseudonym it came under, for the rest of the night.

-has never, ever gone underground. There are other unsaid explanations for his disappearances.

FINIS

THE END

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