Matsusake's Stolen Cure

By Richard Palmer

Part One: Matsusake's Miracle Amulet

It was a warm Saturday morning; Ranma and Genma were training over by the pond in the backyard. Happosai and Matsusake were going over exactly what they'd do at Vegas when they got the money, Akane was feeding P-Chan and Ben was playing Shogi with Soun. "I don't see why you want me to play this with you, I ain't very good at it." Ben said as he played his move.

Soun looked at the move Ben played. "Can I redo my last move?"

"You ever play 'Horse' in the Ghetto?"

"Huh?"

"Basketball."

"No."

"They break your kneecaps if you ask to redo." Ben smiled.

"Really?" questioned Soun

"Not usually, but you get the idea." answered Ben. Soun sighed and looked over the board. "Say, I been meaning to talk to you, Holmes," Ben started as Soun was trying to concentrate, "My little fight with Matsusake proved to me that I could stand to add another style to my arsenal." Soun played his move. "So I been thinkin', you, Mr. Saotome, and Ranma, you all seem to use pretty much the same style, right?"

"Yes, Anything Goes Martial Arts."

"Yeah, so here's the deal," Ben said playing his move, "I'll pay you to teach me what you can while I'm here."

"Oh my boy, do you mean it? Do you really want to learn this style?" Soun said with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Yeah I do. But if you ever call me boy again your kneecaps will only be the first things to get broken!"

"Oh, sorry!" Soun said and went back to agonizing over his move.

"So here's the deal," Matsusake said to Happosai, "when we get to Vegas, after we're all set up. We'll walk into different casinos, you create a diversion..."

"How?" asked Happosai. "Trust me, it'll come naturally, they have showgirls." Matsusake smiled. "So you create a diversion I'll get as many wallets as I can and..."

At that moment Ranma knocked Genma into the pond. "What's the matter, Pop? You aren't tired all ready?" Ranma laughed. Genma tossed a nearby bucket of water at Ranma.

Matsusake turned back to Happosai, "Did they just change form?"

"Yeah, I thought you picked up on that all ready?" answered Happosai. Matsusake sat quietly for a moment then continued his conversation with Happosai.

Later that evening, Ranma was training in the practice hall. Matsusake hopped in.

"Hey there Ranma, have I got a deal for you!"

"No thanks, the way I hear it your deals have a rather large price tag to them." Ranma said as he began to walk off.

"Oh I think you'll think this one is worth it." Matsusake said as he pulled out an amulet.

"What's that?" Ranma asked casually.

"It's an amulet that, worn over a period of time, will completely rid you of your transformation!"

"Yeah right, where'd you get this one, a crackerjack box?"

"I had a hard time getting a hold of it, it used to belong to an emperor in china who had the misfortune of visiting Jusenkyou. I don't know the exact details, but this amulet was made to rid him of his curse. He tried to keep the whole thing from becoming public but the legend and the amulet leaked out when he was overthrown. It's been in a few museum exhibits and all, of course no one realizes that the legend is more than just an old tale."

"Very convincing," Ranma remarked, "I almost believe you."

"Suit yourself," laughed Matsusake, "If you don't believe me, ask Ben."

"Yeah I did hear of it, some emperor used it to rid himself of his curse a couple of hundred years ago." Ben said looking up from the paper "I didn't think much of it 'til I learned that the guy had been in that region of China only a few months before."

"So it really is true!" "Yeah it had been in museums pretty much all over the world, until maybe a couple of years ago when it was stolen along with a bunch of other stuff." Ben said going back to the paper "About that time I figured it was futile to track it anymore." Ben looked at Ranma. "Who told you about it anyway?"

"Oh, no one." Said Ranma walking off. "Okay, gramps, your story checks out, but you never told me you stole it!" Ranma said to Matsusake later that night.

"Are they still after you for it?"

"They don't even know I have it, give me some credit will you! I'm a trained Ninjitsu master!" Matsusake said, pulling out the amulet. "If you want it, though, it'll cost you."

"I'm broke you little cheapskate, what am I supposed to pay you with?" Ranma yelled at Matsusake.

"I seem to remember that Ben owes you a favor." Matsusake started. "This would be a good way for him to pay it, don't you think?" "Okay," said Ranma, "how much?" "Just get 5,500,000 yen from Ben and you're all set."

Ranma entered the practice hall, Genma and Ben were sparing with Soun on the sidelines giving pointers to Ben. "Hey Ben, you wanna talk about that favor?" Ranma yelled. Ben broke concentration long enough to get kicked in the face by Genma.

"Sorry," Genma said, hoping this wouldn't decrease his cut of the money Ben was paying them to train him.

"It's all right, why don't you all just take five." Ben said, pulling off his blindfold and walking towards Ranma. "So what's the deal?" Ben said as soon as he got out of the practice hall.

"You can pay me your debt by just paying me 5,500,000 yen."

"That was short and to the point, did Master Matsusake put you up to this?" replied Ben.

"Well, kind of," Ranma answered, "he's selling me that amulet we were talking about earlier. He's the one that swiped it from the museum."

"Well that sneaky bastard, even I didn't think he'd sink that low." Ben turned to Ranma, "You sure he ain't just jerking you off?"

"Your stories pretty much matched, seems reasonable enough for me." "Okay," Ben said, writing out a check, "but when you're through with it, I want it, okay?"

"Here you go." Ranma said handing Matsusake the check. "So how long do I gotta wear it for?"

"After about a year your cursed form will disappear completely." Matsusake said pocketing the check. "But you have to wear it around your neck twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week until then." He pulled the Amulet out from his shirt. Ranma grabbed it. "Pleasure doing business with you, kid."

Ben was out by the pond, sipping on a beer, when Ranma came out. "Did ya get it?" Ben asked.

"Yeah." Ranma said pointing to the amulet hanging from his neck. Ben studied it closely, then grabbed Ranma by the shirt and threw him in the pond. Ranma emerged soaking wet in his girl form. "What the heck did you do that for?"

"You been gypped, Holmes," Ben said casually, "the real amulet is supposed to protect you from changing while you wear it, after about a year the effect becomes permanent."

"Why that dirty little..." "I figured he'd do this from the start, so the check is post-dated, I'll just cancel it anyway. But what do you say we beat him at his own game?"

"Sounds good to me!" Replied Ranma.

Part Two: Trip to Vegas

"Ben, you little cheat!" yelled Matsusake as he stormed in, "This check is dated for the year 2012, How could you do this to me!?"

"Yeah, how could you destroy two old men's dreams like that?!?" shouted Happosai, who had just entered the room as well.

"Calm down, holmes," Ben stated coolly, "I'm about to make you the deal of the century, I made reservation's for you both at the airport. You leave in four hours for Vegas. You also have a package waiting for you at the gate, containing 25,000 dollars and hotel reservations. This whole deal is yours if you'll leave me alone for the rest of my life."

Matsusake put his hand to his chin and thought, "There's got to be some sort of catch."

"Going once." Said Ben raising one finger.

"He can't really be serious, can he?"

"Going twice." Ben raised another finger. Matsusake began to sweat.

Ben began to raise his third finger "Going..."

"Deal!" shouted Matsusake.

"Fine then," Ben said casually, "to make sure you make it to the airport on time, I got someone to bring you to the airport and make sure you get on that plane."

"Why should I be doing you any favors!" shouted Ryoga as Ranma pushed him into the room.

Ben turned to Ryoga and whispered "Because I can get the best scriptwriters I know to come up with some lines to use on Akane. Good enough?"

"Yeah." Said Ryoga with a dreamy look in his eyes. Ranma groaned.

"Let me introduce you to Ryoga Hibiki." Ben said to Matsusake. "All right go get you stuff and Ryoga should get you there in time." Matsusake and Happosai went off to get their bags. Ben turned to Ryoga, "Now remember, you have plenty of time so don't rush." Ryoga nodded. They left, with Matsusake shouting "Vegas here we come!"

Ranma turned to Ben. "Okay I understand makin' the whole thing up about the plane tickets and all, but, and it's not that I care about her or nothin', but I don't like the deal you made to Ryoga about Akane."

"Don't sweat it, Holmes," Ben smiled, "I said the best scriptwriters would write it but I didn't say nothin' about content." Then Ben turned to Ranma. "You sure this guy is as clueless as you say when it comes to directions?"

"He couldn't find his way south if he were standing at the north pole." Ranma replied. Ben chuckled a little as he watched the three figures wandered down the street.

Soun and Genma could not stop crying for joy as their master disappeared around the corner. "We'll finally have some peace around here, eh Saotome?"

"You said it, Tendo." They both started grinning like fools.

Epilogue

Later that week, Ryoga wandered down a dirt path with Matsusake and Happosai puffing behind him. "I know that airport is around here somewhere." Ryoga said looking at his map.

Just then a kangaroo hopped across their path. Happosai's eyes bulged just before he fainted. "What...what is it?" Matsusake said to the unconscious Happosai. Then a tall man in a leather vest walked past, tipped his hat, and said "G'day mate!" This time it was Matsusake's turn to faint.

The End

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The Legal Stuff: Ranma ½ and the characters therein are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and are used without permission.