Kate (to Jeff): act your age not your dick size
Jeff (in response to Kate): WHORE! SLUT! SLUT-FUCKER! DIE!
Liz (at 3am):I don't think i have enough socks...to shove in all your mouths, for the fucking love of god fucking shut up!!
Matt Green: I am dancing round my room to shake your bootie...its a study break. If my parents walked in on me grooving to oldies but goodies CD's i think they would commit me to a mental house
Gelman: I know it was illegal but they could've at least been nice about it.
Marty: if i was a girl i would molest myself.
Andrew Muro: Andrew is a privilege, not a right.
Andrew Muro: A hand job's a man's job, so a blow job is your job.
Marty: roll call, her name is liz, she works that biz, she gets the guys, cause she likes to siz.
Kate: Liz can we say something about this suitcase.... the tag says CLT and I thought it said CLIT.
Paul: damn... you have all these smart friends that go to smart schools and you go here? Couldn't you learn through osmosis or something?
Liz: you know you've been reading psych too long when you see the word 'organism'and you think it said 'orgasm'Kate: liz, that's not cuz of psych, that's cuz of you.
Pat:theres not enough estrogen in the world to turn me straight.
Marty: yea well its still disheartening to know you are attractive to gay guys Liz: just means you have more options.
Kristen: Pahk the cah in Hahvahd yahd and give the guy a quahta.
Susan: I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in
Liz: I'm sure if it had been a bigger shark you'd be scared
Ryan: Well yeah...if it was big enough to eat me...but a one foot shark probably has jaws barely big enough for my thumb
Liz: I guess that means you have a big thumb
Ryan: There you go with youre fat jokes.
Gelman: screw you ms. thirty mph on the highway!
Keith Palmer: it sucks, I'm always slow at the times when I should be fast, and vice versa...
PLAYBOY: The University of Connecticut is no longer rated in our annual top ten party school list because we feel that it is unfair to include professionals in a list full of amateurs.
Liz: so how does one become black?
Chris: it takes many years of hard work and practice.....and not watching Dave.
Gus: what race is she? Liz: Black.
TEd: that's just ridiculous..even a monkey knows thats wrong...and I mean a stupid monkey...one of those monkeys with the purple butt.
Mom: what'd you do to the dog?
Terry: I clipped her
Mom: she looks naked!
Terry: she's not naked.... she's free!
(heard in next room):
some kid: did you get a new dog?
Adam: nah... my dad just clipped her.
some kid: man....she looks naked.
Pete: I just pissed of the balcony
Liz: that's something to be proud of.
Matt Mele: so many freshman girls, so little time...
Liz: What about the rape trail?
Niki: i'm gonna throw you on it and leave you there
Liz:good! Maybe I'll actually get some
Jackson: Nothing makes you feel more wanted than a stalker...
Jackson: I used to have this theory that people should be able to hook up as a recreational activity...
Lisa: thats not for me, my friends dont do african chanting
Brendanne: if you were a boy, would you want to do me?
Mike: I'm not even going to answer that
Liz: what would you do without me?
Corey: get a few points lower on my linguistics exam...
Mel: you know you're in college when you wake up on saturday morning hungry. for advil.
Corey: you look the same as you always do.
Liz: ugly?
Corey: yeah pretty much
Matt Mele: you're good at that motion aren't you (in reference to me shaking some stupid liquid filled glass tube in physics)
Mike: nice guys finish straight in the cellar.
Bino: you're a sophomore. you're better than us
Liz: well if he were an aggregate supply curve, what would he be doing?
Liz: I got a 12 inch rubber duck.
Andrew: you got a 12 inch rubber dick?!
Liz: NO! Duck! Not Dick! Duck! D-U-C-K!
Andrea: I think aerosmith should come to UConn for a concert
Mike: okay, sounds good. And we'll have God open for them
Niki: im think nap
Liz: yeah when you can't use full sentences you know you're tired
(while talking about probability in Math) Zac: you have a better chance of being shot by the sniper than any of us
Liz: when I get shot you're going to wish you were nicer to me
Zac: yeah probably
Liz: why can't they treat me like a normal person?
Ted: 'cause you're not normal
Ronnie: Why do you keep asking me that? It's not like I'm going to change my mind like Mike...."
Liz: have you seen my magical roommate?
Matt Senior:
I love you liz! remember that!
Matt Mele: It's not the cloths that make you look bad....
Keith (talking about my halloween costume): You're already from down south. Hick wouldn't be too far off from normal for you, wouldn't it?
Liz: I'm going to hell
Corey: I coulda already told you that"
Matt Mele: It's funny.... I dont take notes and I got the highest test score.... and i'm ugly
Ronnie: Harry Potter was a cool guy. He gets all the ladies. So in that case... YES, they ARE Harry Potter glasses.
Jim Murac: You can have her, just have her over there...
Liz: yeah well lets just say it'd be an interesting story if we got married
Matty C: how did i meet ur father? He made me kiss a girl. Mommy was a momentary bisexual sweeties
Dave Watson: I want to go back in time and kill NEWTON so physics would not be where it is today.
