Me and My Pain

Some days I live absolutely inside of my pain.

On these days I am like a turtle;

Too frightened to come out of his shell;

Afraid even of dangers that are not there.

Some days I dwell beside my pain

Like a submissive Harem wife;

Least among many wives.

There are days when I step away from it;

As a naughty boy poking a snake with a stick;

I venture to see if it has the venom

Or the will to harm me.

Then come days when the pain looks small.

As a pampered house cat who has discovered

An unfortunate mole; bats it and bites it

Then watches it scamper away.

Finally on occassions rare, my fears
And therefore my pains are swallowed
In the shadow of God's unending grace.

Euphoria is only a ghost of the meaning these days hold.

Amazing grace.

Then I wonder when my wounds will heal

So I can hope for these days.

by Catharine Basson August, 1999