RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I
get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down
the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the
first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the
first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not
stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and
then today you expect me to show it to you!"
THE VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists
of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of
inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin and marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within
half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it
out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the
coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and
asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm
rechecking my answers."
BLONDE STEWARDESS
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route
they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival,
the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to
eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing
the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.
He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering
what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she
couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the
captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three
doors in here," she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and
one has a sign on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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Page Updated April 7, 2002
