The General Committee 2004-2005 Rules of Engagement
The purpose of the General Committee is to distract the cadets from potential bones in the Blue Book and give them something else entirely to worry about: infringing on another class’s privileges. Luckily there exists a select group of cadets known as the GC who do what they can to enforce this secondary code of conduct and behavior, also known as the Class System.
The GC as the other organizations at VMI is tied into a Global Defense Initiative or GDI; this initiative is a self-sufficient body of cadets planted into the Corps by the Commandant’s Office to do their bidding. The Regimental system at VMI is an example of such. To make sure that the conduct and operations of these organizations are good to go two key Commandant’s Staff members are appointed to certain committees as overseers and also as advisors. These hard working individuals ensure that they are abiding by the strict orders of his Emperorship and do not deviate (note rules as to deviation from duties given by the Emperor).
Rules of Engagement:
A cadet will have 24 hours to notify the cadet he/she/it has sent up; Rats: you have no say in the Corps, strain; Thirds: you have as equal membership to the Corps as Rats, go march PTS or threaten your GC has more balls than the First Class GC.
The cadet sent up as well as the sender will be notified same day, same time, with GPS tracking devices; this ensures both parties know when the other is to be screwed royally.
COL Moncure will be the referee of the Thursday evening festivities, he has established a strict set of guidelines that all must obey or be summarily incinerated by the ovens hidden under barracks by secret police.
1. No one in the Corps of Cadets is equal, there is always someone better as well as shittier than you; do not expect a fair chance at ANYTHING.
2. The First Class President will be answered either in “My liege”, “Lordship”, “Highness”, or “Master”; “Sir” will not be tolerated for we are not commoners.
3. There are designated sections for the members of the Peanut Gallery, Hawaiian-shirts and lawn chairs are authorized, however, margaritas are not authorized unless it has been declared as “happy hour”.
5. In any instance of a cadet not getting to the point COL Moncure will throw the “bullshit flag” on the play, 10 yard penalty, 1st down.
6. The first cadet to officially figure out what exactly COL Moncure does will receive a free, restrictions free, extended weekend and 1st down.
7. If you exit the wrong way before the GC you will be dropped down the trapdoor into the Sarlaac Pit to be slowly digested over the next few years, this is to give you time to reflect on your stupidity.
8. It is only polite to applause when the “CLAP” sign has been acknowledged; the same goes for “OOH”, “AHH” and “OH SNAP”. Do not test our system. If you do you will be shot.
9. There are only three ways to answer a report:
a. Correct: I’m fucked and just want to get it over with without the blabbering.
b. Correct but wish to explain: I’m fucked as it is and just want to make it worse on myself.
c. Incorrect: Who the fuck is the GC?
10. Failure to answer in these forms will result in the cadet being executed and scattered to the four corners of barracks as a warning to all.
11. Rebuttals: are a class privilege, 1sts may argue and gripe only to be boned by their Brother Rat, 2nds may comment, 3rds can flat out bitch just to be boned senselessy, Rats/4C will stand scared shitless and awestruck. The GC is always right and NEVER wrong.
All penalties given to cadets will be stored in a database along with finger printing and monitored by satellites so they can be sent up again and again for the amusement of the Commandant’s staff.
Ignorance is a shame, but not an excuse...return to main.
