EXECUTIVE DECREE 2004 FOR 2039
HEAR YE HEAR YE, ALL IN YE PRESENCE,
ALL PRIVILEGES ON YON’ GC CHARTER ARE HEARBY REVOKED! THE EMPEROR HAS SPOKEN AND DECREED THAT THEY ARE BUT GRAVE OFFENCES AGAINST THE INSTITUTE WHICH INFRINGE ON STUDY TIME OF CADETS. ANYONE CAUGHT VIOLATING SUCH AS DECREED ILLICIT BY THE EMPEROR WILL BE SUBJECT TO INQUISTION AND TRIAL BY ORDEAL, AND UPON BEING CONVICTED, THE PENALTY OF DEATH BY SHOOTING, STABBING, HANGING, CASTRATION, AND CRUCIFIXTION.
IN REGARDS TO THE MATTER OF CELLULAR PHONES, THE EMPEROR IN HIS MIGHTY INTELLECT, HAS DECREED THAT THEY ARE BUT VILE MACHINES OF THE DEVIL, AND THOSE WHO ARE CAUGHT WITH SUCH DEVICES OF EVIL WILL BE CHARGED WITH HERESY AND SUBJECT TO CLEANSING AND OR BURNING AT THE STAKE. THESE DEVICES ARE SINFUL BY MEANING WHICH THEY INFRINGE ON TIME OF STUDY AND PROHIBITS CADETS FROM PRESSING NOBLY UP THE HILL OF SCIENCE.
AND IN HIS MIGHTY INTELLIGITUDE HIS EMPEROR FURTHER DECREED THAT CADETS ARE NO LONGER CONSIDERED ADULTS, FOR THEY ARE UNWORTHY OF THE STATUS OF ADULTHOOD AND SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS CHILD SUCH AS THE LAMBS OF PASTURES.
THUS SPAKE THE LORD OUR EMPEROR, IN THE MONTH OF OCTOBER, THIS YEAR OF HIS PEAY-NESS, TWO-THOUSAND AND FOUR.
