ZOMBIE ATTACK SOP (DAWN OF DEAD SCENARIO)
This is to prepare and inform the Corps in the event that zombies overrun the Earth.
If a sentinel encounters a zombie he or she will challenge it, then attempt to discern its name and initials (for boning see Blue Book: “Eating flesh outside of barracks” or “Failure to maintain personal hygiene”).
The SOG and/or NSOG will alert the OC and the Commandant. The OD will also be woken up and he will call the Superintendent via secret emergency phone (the red one) and inform him that his security bunker has been prepared.
Turnouts will be made for the Corps to wake up, get into BDUs, war-belt, with arms, and form on bricks in ranks, accountability will be taken.
The commandant will then prepare the Corps to fire in ranks. Any cadet who runs away or moves away from a charging zombie will be boned for “moving in formation”. The commandant will then direct the Corps to perform the following:
“First rank, first platoon, kneel! Second rank, first platoon, stand! Third rank, first platoon, Stand-fast! First rank – make ready! Take Aim! FIRE!” And thus the zombies will receive a volley of imaginary bullets from an imaginary army that he commands.
The real Corps of cadets will actually not be led and will be authorized to flee in terror or divert the horde of zombies to Washington and Lee because we don’t care about them anyways. If you actually believe zombies can attack then you are retarded and should not be a member of the Corps, instead, you should be a member of the Commandant’s Staff, specifically Assistant Commandant S-1/S-4.
PLEASE NOTE: CAPTAIN BLAKEY IS NOT A ZOMBIE, HE’S JUST REALLY OLD AND HASN’T KICKED THE BUCKET YET. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DESTROY HIS BODY, FLEEING FROM HIM WILL ALSO RESULT IN A BONE (see “running away from an Institute official”).
