The Last Will And Testament
SJHS Class of 1981
I, Richard Vaughan Baker, Jr., being of dire mind and body hereby leave the following to the following:
To my brother, Bill, I leave my grades. "You're going to need them".
To Sonar I will my "tenuous" body.
To Kevin Newland I will my superior golf skills.
My books I will to Matt Moyers, our honorary Senior.
To Debra Rosti I will my acceptance to V.M.I.
To Scott Silvia I will my SAT scores and a bit of advice- "Scott, stay out of trouble".
All other possessions I will to anyone who will have them on a first come, first serve basis.
I, Sonja Baker, being of sound mind and body do bequeath my worldly possessions as follows:
To Laurie Tusing, I leave my favorite collection of books.
To Rhonda Grim, Michelle Taylor, Lori Stokes and Barbara Ryman, I leave all my cards including UNO.
I, Patsy Marie Bowers, on this twenty-third day of April, Nineteen hundred and eighty-one, do write my last will and testament:
To Charlotte Barb, I leave her old pal, "Mr. Nog".
To Linda Lou Jenkins, I leave all my Ace Frehley posters.
To Elmar Weber, I leave my dead pet turkey.
To Donnie Carter, I leave my Frankenstein halloween mask, to hide his real identity.
To Donna George, I leave my kilo of baby powder.
To Barbara Ryman, I leave a brown paper bag with holes cut out so she can see when she puts it over her head.
Last of all, I bequeath the Stonewall Jackson teachers the poor, unfortunate, hopeless mental cases behind them.
I, Houston Wesley Crawford, Jr., (otherwise known as "Chip") hereby will the following items to the following people:
To Richard Baker- a copying machine that's just as good as a Zerox.
To "Trapper" Jon Bonadies- a sandbox for his living room so he can practice his golf shots.
To Cecil Golliday- a job of his choice with no singers rehearsal.
To Emmett Long- sideburns as handsome as you know who!
To Yrmy Ikonen- an indoor stream so he can fish year-round.
To Mark Linski- an untorn football jersey so that he may long-snap a football with a little more accuracy.
To Kenny Koontz- some Super Glue and some Krazy Glue to put on his hands to play football.
To Ray Cilimberg- a pair of brand-new referees to take to Franklin, WV.
To Matt Moyers- a blue door, a red door, a yellow door, a green door, a purple door, and a large chocolate ice cream cone; no, a medium chocolate cone; no, a small chocolate cone, aw forget it!
To Charles Streett- Steve Martin's real name.
To Mike Zirkle- the ability to imitate the Three Stooges and also the opportunity to do "The Fantastiks" ten more times.
To Chris Sandridge- the ability to shake hands properly.
To Mr. Greenagle- some pullover sweaters with reinforced elbows and 10 tubes of Brylcreem to show that little dab will do you...
To Scott Miller- the ability to laugh without being gross.
To Penny Strawderman- all the stuffed animals she wants and all the happiness in the world.
I Frank Crum, being of clouded mind and busted eardrums, do hereby bequeath the following:
To Tim Moomaw, a pile of beer cans and a demolished Ford Mustang, so he can add to his large collection.
To David Osborne, a leash- so he can give Patrick an afternoon walk.
To Mike Funkhouser, I leave Horace Swann... and a big refridgerator.
To Bill Rea and Mike Delaughter, my Kiss and Thin Lizzy albums; my stereo and drum set, and a case of eggs to be used on Tim Jenkins' car next Halloween.
To "big" Jerry Golladay, I wish to leave a copy of Ronnie Strickler's new book, "100 Ways To Pick Up Girls" (Illustrated by Patrick Osborne and Buddy Emmert).
To Davis Rosen, I leave my ability to dodge the cow chips that "Melvin" Blosser used to throw at us during Cross Country.
And lastly, I would like to give my sister, Delaina to Bobby Knupp to have and to hold, until death do they part... or until he can't stand her- whichever comes first!
I, Gina Estep, being of sound mind and body do hereby leave:
To Gene "Garder" Dellinger my desk in Government, and a new pair of tweezers.
To Tara Murphy my Government book and a new ice crusher.
To Melinda Barb my second chair in the viola section.
To Lisa Wright I leave 10 years of strawberry preserves and all of Brenda Vaccaro's possessions.
To the Junior and Senior Class- I wish you health, I wish you wealth, but most of all, I wish you all you wish yourself.
I, Lynn Foley, being of sound mind and body, do hereby leave my famous seat on the bench to any J.V. basketball player soon to be Varsity.
I also leave my Government and English books to Sandy Hirsh, whom I hope gets more out of them than I did.
I also wish to leave behind my great skipping school abilities, to anyone who is capable enough to get by with them; like I have!
Being of unbodily mind: I,Phil Fust, will to the Junior Class of Stonewall Jackson all the luck and energy that is needed to sit through 6th period Government class and not fall asleep.
I, Donna Good, will my American Government book to Scottie Carper. I know he will like it especially if he works as hard as he does in U.S. History, he has a nice roll in the grade book of 60's.
I, Tammy Lynn Grandstaff, will to Mary Lowe my Government book and I wish you luck because you will need it. I also leave you all those memories we had in having a good time.
I, Linda Jenkins, leave to the students of Stonewall Jackson the courage and energy to fulfill all their dreams and hopes.
I, Mona Marie Kalin, leave Jeff Funkhouser and Brad Catt all the good times by the river and a lot more to come and all the good times at T.D.'s. I'm sure you both know what I mean. I also leave them some of that terrific homemade stuff. I leave you both memories of Tech.
To Lori Green, who thought she was fooling me and Nan. But don't worry, it's OK. I'll give her Mr. Gaines for Government.
To Sherry Reid, the night with P.L., W.F., that I just couldn't stop laughing and M.S. who just couldn't handle that good stuff.
I leave all the Juniors good luck in the future, you're gonna need it.
Also to Pennie and Ronnie, you all might be leaving, but keep them smiles on and good luck with each other.
I,Penny Lou Litten, leave to Lori Ann Green memories in Strasburg with W.F., memories of our little talk of just you and I, a date with J.D. and all the times you did go to town with me.
To Sherry Reid, I leave D.J., a 6-pack, February 13thall over again with W.F. and F.H. I also give you permission to get C.F. when necessary.
Finally, I leave to Jeff Funkhouser and Brad Catt lots of parsley and memories of Friday night at the river.
I leave to all the Juniors good luck especially in Government class. You will need it.
I, Burt Long, hereby donate my book on how to race motorcycles to Steve Brown.
I would like to thank Stacey for my free golf lessons.
My best wishes to Mark Linski that he will prosper with Wonder Boy and Jr.
Also, I would like to thank Bill Rea for making my last year at Stonewall a pleasant one.
Good Luck to the upcoming Seniors.
I, Esther Milhollan, being of somewhat sound mind and body do hereby leave the following to the following people:
To my sister Ann, I leave "my" car, now to become "her" car. As many invitations to TECH as she wants, and good luck next year with Mom.
To Pam Fadeley, I leave a pair of Calvin Kleins and a monogrammed sweater for next year's frat parties.
To Chas Streett, I leave the patience to teach someone to drive his car and a new clutch in case they are as good as I am. Also I leave him my strength when he needs to throw someone in the snow.
To Sandy Rinker, I leave my half of the "list" to save her sometime and good luck making the list longer. Also good luck catching you-know-who.
To Matt Moyers, I leave a tape recording of one of our arguments to listen to just in case you miss me.
To Cecil Golliday, I leave a new brake for his car so he can let me drive some more.
To Pam Steptoe, good luck with Calculus & Matrices and a key to my room in case you have a bad roommate.
To Scott Sager, I leave my ability to shop quickly and all the happiness he ever wants.
To Joe Martin, I leave the annual staff and good luck- you may need it. Also, I leave my vocabulary study habits, I know you need that!
I, Stacey Miller, being of sound mind and body do hereby leave to Becky Fesperman our chorus folder if we ever find it.
I, T.L. Moomaw, being of perverted mind and body, do hereby bequeath the following:
To Jeff Smallwood, I leave Frank Crum.... to beat upon as he so desires.
To Tim Jenkins, I leave my rapid beard growth, which he needs badly.
With Judy Koester, I would like to leave a very sincere wish for a speedy recovery.... from whichever illness she may have decided to contract today.
To David Osborne, I leave 1 caved-in front fender, 1 right rear quarter-panel, 1 shattered windshield, and a busted bumper guard, all belonging to a '74 'Cuda. These items are to be shared equally with his brother Patrick, who now has a collision of his own.
To Steve (Teddy Bear) Weaver, I leave my priceless pure silk evening gown which I have occasionally worn out on my evenings with Tim Jenkins. Please take very good care of it; it was Tim's favorite.
I, Kathy Neale, being of sound mind and body, do hereby leave my seat on the bench to Stephanie Bullet, may you stay as warm as I was.
To Mr. Ritenour, I leave all of my invisible excuses, for him to do with as he wishes.
Also to Stephanie Bullet, I leave my partying abilities, so that she may learn to have a good time without losing control.
I, Jackie Nicholas, leave to Jamie Richard my sister Rhonda and wish him all the luck in the world because he is going to need it!
I, David Osborne, in sound mind and body do hereby will the following items to the following people:
Ten-speed bicycle- half to Tim Moomaw, half to my brother Patrick.
All the advice I can give- Kim Weatherholtz.
1 case of "Big Red" chewing gum- Ronnie Strickler
1 person to put windshield wiper blades on- Frank Crum.
All my Government notes (if needed)- Horace Swann.
1 swaet jacket string- Yrmy Ikonen.
1 pack of gum- Chris Proctor.
Box of Wheat Thins- Kathy Stroop and Mitzi Wolfe.
1 Safeway store- Gene Dellinger.
I leave Patrick to Melinda Barb.
I, Mary Porter Perault, etc., will to Sandy Rinker a trip to the Capital Centre with six of her buddies.
To Charles Streett, I leave all the lines in the hall. I hope you have a nice trip.
To Bobby Goodier, I leave a big Thank-you for the year we've had together and one freebie.
To Matt Moyers I leave a lonely, quiet lunch table next year.
To Suzanne, I leave a memory of all the years of friendship we've shared together.
I, Michael Pool, being of little mind and no body, hereby leave my worldly possessions:
To Tara Murphy, I leave my desk in Government class.
To E.M. Newland, I leave a nine months supply of No Doze
To Lisa Pippin, I leave one half of my scholarship to the National Institute for the research of cretinology.
To Barbara Jenkins, I leave the other half.
To Carol Funkhouser, I leave a blow-up Carol doll with accessory.
To Steve Taylor, I leave my Government book.
To Lisa Wright, I leave my bookbag that I carry.
To Melinda Barb, I leave my wisdom (HA HA) and my place at the lunch table.
To Mrs. Wightman, I leave that old, broken down viola that I've used for eight years.
I, Barbara A. Ryman, being of somewhat sound mind and body do hereby bequeath the following to be divided as said:
To Liz Evans- 3 cases each of M&M (I don't mean M&M chocolate candies) to be enjoyed at her leisure, the ability to finally get a male bus driver for bus number 4 and all the luck in the world with "you know who" and luck in the remaining year of school.
To Donald Heishman- the ability to grow 5 inches taller so he will be able to dunk a basketball. Also good luck on number 22.
To Jeannie Richman- our table in the library for use in her future years & also a tutor for help in Algebra I- Part II since I won't be around.
To the Senior Class of '81- lots of luck in everything & much success in life.
I, Scott Sager, being of less mind than body do hereby leave to:
Kevin Estep, the ability to throw the shot over 35 ft., but not over 40, plus the ability to run a 220 yd. dash under 30 seconds! Ha!
Esther Milhollan, I leave as many I'm Sorry's that she will need for 4 years at college.
Kenny Koontz, I leave the ability to run into Mrs. Alexander's English class and disrupt it without getting her upset.
Bobby Goodier, I leave the ability to get mad in 2.3 seconds in football practice next season.
Jerry L. Golliday, I leave all the luck he will need with R.K. and his best friend Jack at Valley and the abiltiy to keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down, 10-4 bring it back.
Phil Fust, I leave all of the bodychecks he will need in the future to use on anyone but ME!
Also to Esther Milhollan, I leave all of my redneck qualities written down on a long sheet of paper, that she might remember me while she is at college.
I, Cathy Silvia, do hereby bequeath the following:
To my younger brothers, Scott and Troy- the pleasure of not having me around to nag and the job as chauffeur for the next school year.
To Cynthia Long- an invitation to all the college parties at ECU (in North Carolina) and a thanks for all the advice on how to make track practice shorter.
To Kevin Estep- a thanks for all his laughs.
To the upcoming Senior class- a lonely year without us, the luck and patience to make it through your last, best year (It will go by sooner than you think). Good luck with Adv. Biology term papers, and with Accel. English class next year and luck with drier times (after July).
To Stonewall Jackson High School a big thanks for all 5 great years.
I, Debbie Sine, being of absent mind and body do hereby leave all of my worn-out excuses for skipping to the entire Junior class, for there is enough to go around.
I also leave my gross Government book for anyone who needs a pillow to sleep on because that's the only use I had for it>
I, Lori Ann Stokes, being of sound mind and body leave the following:
To Barbara Ryman- three cases of M&M.
To Nancy Stokes- Government book for next year.
To the Senior class of 1981- lots of luck in the future in whatever you do.
I, Kathy L. Stroop, being of sound mind and no body do hereby bequeath the following:
To Tina Fultz, I leave my lifetime membership in the "I love Kim Shrum Club". I'm sure you'll enjoy it as much as I have.
To Suzanne Perault, I leave a time clock so she will have no problem getting back to Study Hall on time.
So she'll have no problem in her future Math classes, I leave Julie Fust a new protractor.
To Kelly Martin, I will the darkroom and anything else that may develop in there.
I leave Dewie Dee Jordan, 1001 different excuses to check out of school without getting an unexcused.
To Joseph P. Martin Jr., III, I leave the following: a coathanger or vacuum cleaner (in case of emergency); the Presidency of S.P.U. and the ability to take excellent photographs.
To Mitzi Wolfe, I leave a large pocketbook so that she can carry a bottle of ketchup, Diet Dr. Pepper, popcorn, and other assorted items in case she needs them. I also will her a smile and a hug, you'll need something to get you through Senior year.
I leave to Bill Rea my good friend Rodney.
And don't forget about 4 out of 5 dentists Esther.
I, Linda Stroop, leave Scottie Carper all mt invisible excuses to get out of school and the best of luck in Mr. Gaines' Government class because you will need all the luck you can get. You won't slide by on 60's like you did in 2nd peroid U.S. History. Good luck.
I, Horace Swann, being of unsound mind and unstable body, especially an unsound mind after 12 years of school, do will to the following people:
To one of my better friends Mike Delawder, who by the way drives a yellow 55 ragged-out Chevy, I leave my parking space out on the grass by the light pole.
To another one of my good friends Bill Rea, I will to you my limited ability to play the guitar.
To Davis Rosen (who just so happens to be my best friend) I leave to you my collection of beer caps in the ashtray of my van because you helped me collect them, and since you get the beer caps, you also receive the huge pile of beer bottles, cans and empty kegs, mostly Budweiser and Michelob. I also will to you my ability to judge meats, forestry, crops and livestock.
To the football team, I will to you my right football cleat, while the left one I will to Jeff Smallwood. Also to Jeff Smallbrain, since Coach Rinker says you sleep every day in History class, I leave you my seat in Mr. Gaines' Government class- 4th row, 2nd from the back so you can sleep in Mr. Gaines' Government next year (hopefully, I mean). Also, to Scott Sager I leave my right arm pads and to Steve "Teddy Bear" Weaver, I leave my left arm pads.
To Scott Silvia, the person who really cares, I will to you something you can't do in the back seat of a Honda Civic- I will to you one night out in the back of my van with your favorite girl.
To Steve Brown, the only person who actually understands me and what it is like to be different, I will leave to you one of our favorite drinks- a keg of Budweiser.
To Tom Rea (since I beat you chuggin' at the Mill that night) I leave a keg of Schlitz so you can practice.
To my brother Willie Swann, I will to you the right to aggravate, pester and laugh at Mrs. Panos all next year.
The FFA gave me a lot of happiness and joy over the past 4 years. The FFA has a lot to offer to everyone, I encourage all of you to take advantage of one of the greatest opportunities that will ever be available to you.
I ask all who remember me, that you remember also a crushed, demolished, totaled orange 1974 AMC Gremlin, formerly named General Lee.
I, Kim Weatherholtz, being of sound mind and ... uh ... body, of what I do have, hereby leave the following:
To Karen Smitherman, my safety pin for keeping her Pepto-Bismol Singers dress closed.
To Chris Proctor, I leave our theme song & dance for those hideous and boring times in track.
To Sandy Rinker, I leave a word of warning: Please be careful with the list Esther and Pam Steptoe will to you. Please don't let them corrupt you. Also, I wish to leave you all my scheming abilities for dances, dates, parties, and Prom, even if they aren't always successful.
To Julie Rouse, I leave a lifelong supply of green M&M's for whenever you want to get (you know who) but, if you stay like you have this year, you won't need them anyway. Also, I wish to leave you a life long supply of Prell shampoo so you can continually go from flat to fluffy.
To new and old Singer girls, I leave a straight jacket for Chas Streett for whenever he feels the need to attack. Also to Chas, I leave a female doll with life-like parts so when he feels the need to pinch or grab someone, he can use this doll.
To the upcoming Juniors and Seniors, I ask that you please ask Mr. Hutton to dance at the next Prom, for he has informed me that he is tired of being a wallflower.
Speaking of Prom, I will to anyone who wants to be ridiculed, teased and tormented after Prom the location of a certain secluded little rock.
To Pam Steptoe and Esther Milhollan, I leave a maid to come at least once a week to clean your room at Tech. In order that you two may be able to find your clothes, homework when it is absolutely necessary to do, your bed and last of all to be able to find your list whenever necessary to add to, which I have a feeling will be very often.
To the Senior class & sponsors I would like to say thank you for all your support and help. It was truly appreciated.
Also to the Seniors, I leave the request of having & keeping a lasting friendship for many, many years to come.
At last, but not least, I would like to leave to Scott Miller's future wife, those pleading words: DON'T TOUCH ME!
I, Steve Zirkle, will the following:
To Gene Dellinger, I will all the laughs his body can handle.
To Scott Silvia, I will the Cross pen that I doodled on paper and the books with most of the year as long as there is some ink left in it when the year is over.
To Charles Streett, I will him the wish that he will get through the first month of school next year before getting Senioritis.
|
| |
