Thanks go to Vanessa Silverman for writing most of the Bachlorette party scene.

Chapter 61

It only took a couple rings and someone on the other end picked up. Kevin had remembered the two inspectors who’d talked to Tyler about that night at Tabu so he asked for Inspector McCabe and she answered seconds later.

"Inspector McCabe, this is Kevin Richardson. We met..."

"I remember, Mr. Richardson. How can I help you?"

"Tyler and I got a letter from a little girl’s mother that we kind of took under our wings. You should know about the letter. She says she’s going to kill her ex-husband because she’s tired of all the fighting over the children and then she’s going to take off. She’s asked us to take care of Tiffany and she’s even included a legal document giving us custody of her."

"Wow! Where are you right now?"

"That’s the problem. We’re in Kentucky because we’re getting married tomorrow."

"I need the letter and the lady’s address."

"I could fax it to you."

"That would be great but if it’s true, we’ll need the original."

"No problem. Howie, Tyler’s cousin, is headed back to Orlando after the wedding. We can send it by him."

"That’ll work. What’s this lady’s name?"

"Janice Randof. Inspector McCabe, can you let us know what you find out? Tiffany, her daughter, is here in Kentucky with us and we’ll have to tell her ourselves as well as make arrangements for her."

Kevin and Inspector McCabe finished talking and Kevin gave her the number for the house so that she could let Tyler know what was going on.

When Kevin hung up, he looked at Tyler and Howie. "It’s a waiting game now. I need to fax this letter to them."

"Kevin, what are you going to do about Tiffany? I mean, you can’t take her in now, not with the baby and the tour."

Kevin looked at Tyler and knew what she was thinking. He said as he put his arms around her, "We’ll do what is best for Tiffany."

Tyler said softly, "We can’t just dump her off."

"This isn’t something we can solve right now, baby. There are a lot of things to be considered, legally and otherwise. Howie has a good point though. There’s the baby due in July and the rest of the tour to think about. What we do will have to wait until we know what is going on and after the wedding."

Lex came into the kitchen. "Tyler, we’re almost ready."

"I’ll be there in a minute."

Kevin said, "Go on, baby, and have fun."

"Promise me you’ll behave," said Tyler as she kissed him.

Kevin said, "Oh, I’ll be fine. You’d better behave YOURSELF."

"What do you know that I don’t?"

Kevin and Howie both laughed and Howie said, "You’ll find out soon enough. Don’t worry about Kevin. I’ll look after him."

Kevin kissed Tyler good-bye and watched as she left the kitchen. She joined the others on the patio off the living room. Most of the dancers were there along with Linda, Christine, Kevin’s sister-in-law Stephanie, Pollyanna, and Angela.

Meanwhile, Kevin and Howie went to his office to fax the letter to the police department and then to call AJ and Nick. They decided to hide out there until the ‘entertainment’ arrived. As they waited, the two men talked about the letter, Tiffany, and Tyler.

On the patio, the girls were getting the party started. Kryss said, "We know how much Kevin loves sexy lingerie so this is going to be a lingerie party. All of us went out and picked out what we thought Kevin would like to see you in, after the baby of course."

"Then, we’re going to have some guys to model some things for you to pick out for Kevin. Whatever you pick is on us!" said Fiona.

"Let’s get the show on the road then," said Tyler. "I want to see these models and see what I’m giving up."

Everyone laughed and Christine said, "If you see something you like, I’ll be glad to take Kevin off your hands."

Tyler laughed, "I can’t imagine finding anyone quite like ‘Boo’."

Linda said, "I’ll have to agree with you there."

"What about Jaime? He’s no slouch and you certainly have been NOTICEABLY absent lately!"

Linda blushed, "Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. Jaime and I are seeing each other exclusively. Sonja is going to be taking over my job after Puerto Rico. Jaime wants me to move to LA with him and I’ve found a job with a movie production company. Actually, it’s the company that produces a lot of the guys’ videos."

"Oh, Linda! I can’t believe your leaving us!" said Tyler. "It won’t be the same without you."

"I’m going to miss you guys," said Linda. "But we’ll keep in touch and you’d better call me when you have that baby."

"I promise."

"Hey! Let’s stop all the gabbing and get on with this," said Lisa. "Tyler, here’s my gift. I hope you...I mean, Kevin likes it."

Tyler took the bag and reached in to pull out a teddie. It was an emerald green with just enough satin to cover the vital areas. "Oh WOW! This is...." said Tyler.

"Exactly what Kevin wants to see you in," teased Lex. "Or should we say, out of!"

Everyone laughed and Tyler went on opening the other gifts. She got all types of teddies and negligees in three colors-emerald green, royal blue, and black; Kevin’s favorite colors.

While Tyler was opening her gifts, the male entertainment arrived and Kryss showed them to a room where they could get ready. As they were getting ready, AJ and Nick arrived and Kevin and Howie met them at the back door.

"Stay quiet, you two," whispered Kevin.

AJ and Nick were already pretty toasted and it was all Howie and Kevin could do to keep them quiet. The four managed to slip into the room where the other guys were getting ready.

Kevin put his finger over his lips to tell them to keep quiet. Then he whispered, "I’m Kevin and it’s my fiancée you’re here for. You are the strippers, right?"

"Yeah, but we’re also doing a fashion show first."

"I called you earlier today about us taking your place for the final act," said AJ.

"Oh, you’re the one. That’s cool! We do individual numbers and then we do a group thing at the end. You guys do that if that’s what you want."

"Perfect!" said Kevin.

*****

Kevin peered through the door and watched as the ladies sighed lustily and giggled uncontrollably at the male models during their final turn. Only a few moments remained before Kevin, Nick, AJ and Howie were to make their grand entrance. Kevin turned and chuckled at AJ, who, in his drunken stupor, was struggling to get into his ‘Navy Officer’ costume. Nick suggested that they dress as members of The Village People, minus one member given that Brian was not with them. Kevin had finished dressing some time ago, opting for the construction worker ensemble. It reminded him of a photo shoot he did some time ago, that he enjoyed quite a bit.

AJ buckled the last of his brass buttons and preened in front of the mirror. Goddamn, he looked hot! He strutted about the room; chest puffed out, and adjusted himself inside his underwear to get the maximum effect possible. Nick cackled and snorted, falling over laughing as he put on his suede chaps, part of his cowboy costume. He quickly got up and tried to imitate John Wayne. He hustled over to Kevin and pulled out his replica handgun.
"You trying to cause trouble, boy?" he drawled in a very poor Southern accent. "Go ahead…make my day!"

Kevin rolled his eyes and shook his head. "That’s Clint Eastwood, Dopey Smurf. And stop fooling around; this is serious…we can’t be laughing when we go out there or they’ll know it’s us." Kevin glanced over Nick’s shoulder and noticed that Howie was very quiet. "Hey, D, you about ready?"

Howie stared at himself in the mirror. "Guys…I don’t know about this. I feel like an idiot in this outfit," he said, dressed as a police officer. "And this thong is a bitch…it keeps riding up on me!" Howie demonstrated by picking at the underwear through his pants, trying to get the string out of his butt. He had a new, and deeper, appreciation for women who wore such garments without waddling around like ducks all day.

Nick, Kevin and AJ started laughing, holding their sides and putting their hands over their mouths so the women would not hear the ruckus. Howie joined in, tears running down his face as he regarded his friends and their respective costumes. The mood turned serious again when the male models returned, remarking that it was time for the final performance. Kevin looked at his friends and asked, "Okay, this is it. Everybody ready? You remember the routine, right?"

Everyone nodded, and got into formation as the first strains of Joe Cocker’s "You Can Leave Your Hat On" blared on the stereo system.

*******

Nick and AJ were not the only ones who were inebriated. Kryss, Fiona and Lex had managed to drink enough champagne to sink a ship. Tyler and Sonja could only sit back and laugh at their friends, and be grateful that their boyfriends were not there to see them in this condition.

Kryss sat up on the couch and attempted to say something, if only she could remember. Her tongue felt too big for her mouth. After a moment, she managed to slur, "Ssssoooo…where’s the men at? Are they hiding?" She got on her hands and knees and started crawling across the floor. "Here, kitty kitty…come to mama, baby…I got some milk for ya…"

Tyler thought she would pee her pants laughing. Her facial muscles hurt because she was smiling and laughing so much. In between gasps she said, "Someone get her off the floor…oh my god…I think I’m gonna pop this baby now if she doesn’t stop!"

Lex grabbed Kryss by her feet and dragged her across the floor, helping her back to her place on the couch. She had developed a bad case of hiccups. "What (hic) is tak(hic)ing them so (hic) long (hic)?" she choked out.

Sonja shrugged her shoulders. "I don’t know. They are probably changing."

Fiona’s eyes lit up. "Really? Ohhhhhh…do ya think we can take a look? That tall guy had a great set of buns…"

Tyler laughed. "I thought Nick had the best set of buns?"

"Yeah, he does…hey! Did I ever tell you about the time that we were having sex and he did this thing with his ass and it was so wild…see he pulled…"

Before she could continue her friends put their hands over their ears and shouted, "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!"

Fiona laughed. "PUPPIES! Y’all are puppies!"

Then, they heard the music begin and watched as the door opened once more to reveal the strippers. As they made their entrance, one by one, into the room, the women stared openly, completely speechless.

"OH MY GOD!" screeched Lex. "It’s the Village People! I LOVE these guys!" She got up from her chair and began to hoot and cheer wildly. "Come on, baby, take it off!"

AJ’s mouth gaped in shock. He could not believe that Lex was grinding herself against Nick, and encouraging him to "take it all off." But she was not alone, as Fiona and Kryss were just as flirtatious and eager for the men to take off their clothes. The only exceptions were Tyler and Sonja, who were laughing so hard that they were doubled over as if in pain.

Tyler and Sonja quickly recognized that Kevin, Nick, AJ and Howie were the strippers. They tried to be serious, and let the boys think that they were fooled, but as soon as they started gyrating and grinding in those ridiculous costumes, they could not contain themselves.

Kevin noticed that Tyler was too busy laughing to be seduced by their performance, so he decided that drastic measures were necessary. Signaling discreetly to his band mates, he gestured that they needed to ‘up the ante’ quite a bit.

Kevin strutted over to Tyler and pointed a finger at her. She looked about innocently before saying, "Me?" Kevin grabbed her hands and lifted her to her feet. She was still laughing and rolling her eyes at Sonja. The laughter came to an abrupt halt as Kevin thrust his pelvis into her hips and grabbed her ass with both hands, bringing her closer to him. He began to sway and grind against her body, eliciting a few moans, particularly when Kevin placed her hand against his chest and rubbed it sensuously across his skin.

Meanwhile, Lex had AJ’s Navy cap on her head and was reaching for Nick’s belt at the same time, tugging on it frantically. Both men put Lex in between them, and AJ’s hands guided her hips as they all moved to the beat of the music.

Tyler decided to find out just how far Kevin was willing to take this ‘scene.’ She grabbed onto his orange construction vest and growled lustfully into his ear. "Damn, baby, you’re sexy…let’s see what you look like out of these clothes." She unzipped his vest and started to tug at his T-shirt, trying to get it out of his jeans. "I’m glad my fiancé isn’t here tonight," she whispered seductively into his ear. "Maybe we can make this a private party," she winked suggestively.

Kevin glanced back across the room to see how his friends were faring. He swallowed a laugh when he noticed that Howie was on top of the coffee table, shirt off, hips twisting to the music, and swinging his shirt in circles over his head. Kryss was on the floor on her knees in front of him, screaming at the top of lungs. She had managed to get his zipper undone on his pants and was shoving dollar bills into his crotch at a frantic pace.
Howie tried to move away several times for fear that she would rip his thong right off and ruin the rest of his act.

Fiona danced her way to AJ, Lex and Nick and grabbed a handful of Nick’s ass, proclaiming in her drunken state, "Baby, you’re fine, but my guy’s got more junk in his trunk!" AJ was laughing so hard that Lex was almost supporting all of his weight.

Tyler looked back and winked at Sonja, as she led Kevin to the back porch by the hand. It was pitch black and silent on the back porch. Tyler was suddenly at a loss for words.

"Well, this is awkward, isn’t it? I’ve never tried to seduce a stripper before." Turning towards him with a very wicked look in her eye, she grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulled him in and kissed him passionately on the lips. Kevin took two steps back wards, the wind knocked out of him and just stared at her. Tyler continued to play her game. "I’m sorry," she gushed, "I just can’t help myself. I’ve never seen a body as sexy and muscular as yours…my fiancé just hasn’t been satisfying me lately."

Kevin yelled, "WHAT?" at the top of his lungs.

Tyler laughed and approached him again. She reached up with one hand and removed his hard hat and pulled off his mask. She grinned at him and innocently batted her eyelashes. "Oh my god! Kevin! I had no idea it was you!"

Kevin started laughing and gathered her up in his arms. He realized that she had been teasing him all night. He kissed her, and said, "Should we go see if Kryss managed to get Howie buck naked yet?"

Tyler shook her head. "No. Let’s go take pictures!"

*******

Sonja met them in the doorway. "It’s getting pretty nasty in there, you two…do you think we should put an end to this?"

Tyler and Kevin looked at Sonja. "What could be that bad?" Kevin asked. "What are they doing?"

Sonja giggled and pointed inside the room. "Come see for yourselves."

******

Fiona was on Nick’s back riding him like a horse. She had his cowboy hat in her hand, swinging it in the air. She yelled, "Hi ho, Silver! Away! Yeah Ha!" When she could, she used a free hand to smack his ass to make him run around the room faster.

Kryss ran up to everyone in the room, demanding to know if they had any money. She had run out of dollar bills. Howie’s crotch was so stuffed with money that it looked like he had Elephant-itus of the Nuts.

AJ was down to his thong, and he was holding on to it for dear life. Lex kept pulling at his skin at every opportunity and yelled, "Come on, baby…float my boat!"

Kevin walked across the room and unplugged the stereo. Suddenly there was complete silence, except for Kryss yelling, "I can’t find any money! Gimme some bills, here, people!"

Kevin walked around the room, gesturing with his hands for everyone to calm down. He walked over to Lex and said, "Honey, AJ’s naked…are you telling me that you didn’t notice the tattoos?"

Lex looked at Kevin in astonishment, then looked at AJ, then looked again towards Kevin. "OH MY GOD!" she managed to sputter before passing out on the floor.

Nick looked over his shoulder, pulled his mask off, and said, "Hey baby, wanna go back to the stables so we can saddle up for a real ride?"
Fiona slid off his back in shock as Nick laughed.

It took a moment for Kryss to notice that the music had stopped. Howie looked down at Kryss from the coffee table and smiled. "Excuse me, ma’am, but you’re under arrest for Lewd and Lascivious behavior."

Kryss stood there, embarrassed and fumbling with her words. "Uh, okay." She then looked at Howie and grinned. "You bring the handcuffs, baby, and I’ll bring the donuts!"

********

The four couples separated while Sonja saw the other guests to the door. Kevin and Tyler went to the room where the guys had changed, got his clothes and went up to their room.

When the door was closed, Tyler took Kevin in her arms and said, "Now, do you want to continue what you started downstairs?"

Kevin laughed, "When did you realize it was us?"

"The minute you came out in these ridiculous costumes. Kevin, you can’t disguise this body from me no matter how hard you try."

Kevin kissed Tyler and said, "I am so hard for you."

Before either one could go any further, AJ and Nick were banging on the door. "Kevin, COME ON!! We’ve gotta get out of here."

Kevin looked down at Tyler, "Baby?"

Tyler laughed, "Go on. You’ve had your fun with us now go have some fun with the guys. I’ll see you tomorrow night."

Looking at his watch, Kevin said, "You mean tonight? It’s one in the morning now."

"Okay! I’ll see you tonight."

AJ and Nick were still banging on the door so Kevin opened it and they both fell into the room. Kevin asked, "How did you two manage to get dressed?"

AJ laughed, "It wasn’t easy. I had to carry Lex to her room too."

"Fiona passed out shortly after you two left the room too," said Nick.

Tyler laughed, "They are going to hate themselves in the morning."

"What about Kryss?" asked Kevin. "She was pretty wasted too."

"Sonja had to help Howie get her to her room," said AJ.

Kevin said, "Okay, guys. Let’s head back to the hotel. AJ, you ride with me and let Howie drive John Wayne here."

Nick looked at Kevin, "Who you callin’ John Wayne?"

"Oh, that’s right. It’s Dopey Smurf! Come on ‘cowboy’. Let’s get back to the hotel," said Kevin as he pushed Nick out the door.

Tyler followed them downstairs where Sonja was cleaning up. She said, "Sonja, I’ll be back in a minute to give you a hand."

"Take your time."

Kevin watched as AJ and Howie helped Nick out to the car and then turned to Tyler. "Baby, I love you."

"I love you too, ‘Boo’," said Tyler as she stood on her toes to kiss Kevin. "You know, you’ll have to do that number solo again for me soon."

Kevin laughed, "I promise for our wedding night."

The couple embraced and kissed a deep, passionate kiss as Nick hollered cat calls at them. Tyler couldn’t help laughing as she pulled back from Kevin. "You need to get him back to the hotel."

Kevin shook his head. "I know. I’ll see you tomorrow, baby. Don’t forget the chapel at three."

"I won’t."

Tyler stood on the porch as she watched Kevin walk to his jeep that was parked on the side of the house. She waved to them as the two cars pulled away slowly. Kevin leaned out the window and blew a kiss to Tyler and she pretended to catch it placing it next to her heart.

Inside, Tyler helped Sonja clean up and they took all the gifts Tyler had received up to her room. Then they went back down to talk until the wee hours of the morning about the guys. They wondered what was going on with Kevin’s bachelor party and if they were having as good a time as the girls had had tonight.

Chapter 62        Index