~*~ Only To Hold You ~*~
Mesmerized by the immensity of the house, Andi followed AJ room to room as he showed her everything. The last room was his bedroom and he leaned against the doorframe to watch her as she wandered around taking it all in. She ended up at the French doors that led out to a small balcony. Opening the doors, a breeze caught her hair blowing it back.
"Well, what do you think?" asked AJ as he moved to stand with her on the balcony.
"It’s so big, Alex. It’s hard to imagine someone our age being able to afford all this."
"I know. There are days when it seems unreal to me too. My grandparents’ home, where I grew up, would fit in here five times over. So, which room do you want?"
Stepping into his embrace, Andi pulled his arms tight around her as she said, "This one will be okay. What are you gonna do while I sleep?"
"Hold you," whispered AJ placing kisses along her neck.
"Oh!" gasped Andi.
AJ heard the surprise in her voice. "I thought it was what you wanted, baby."
"It is," whispered Andi, a slight tremble in her voice.
AJ turned her to face him and with his finger, he lifted her chin to look into her eyes. He saw the fear and his mind raced. There was no way she was a virgin, not the way she’d kissed him and touched him. All the things she’d said to him echoed in his head. He was confused.
"Andi, what’s wrong? I mean, I thought you knew…that you wanted me. The way you kissed me, touched me, the things you said." AJ hesitated, then asked tenderly, "You aren’t a virgin, are you?"
"Not hardly," snorted Andi as she put her hand on his. "I never imagined I’d react this way or that it would ever be an issue for us."
"It doesn’t have to be, Andi. You can tell me anything. It’s NOT going to change the way I feel about you."
"I know," she answered staring into his eyes. She found comfort in his eyes and knew she could trust him, trust him to feel safe again.
"It’s Seth, isn’t it? You’re promised to him and if you sleep with me, you feel you’re betraying him. That’s it, isn’t it?"
"NO!" she answered quickly. "Well, you’re partially right. It does have to do with Seth."
"What is it then? Please, Andi."
Andi looked at their hands joined together and the ring he’d put on her hand…a promise to always be together. She knew she had to tell him for them to be together. "Seth forces me to pleasure him," she said flatly. There was no going back now. The only other person she’d ever told was her best friend but now AJ knew.
A simple statement said devoid of any feelings yet evoking so many emotions. AJ’s first instinct was to get angry but feeling her body begin to tremble, he knew he had to contain it. "What does he make you do?" he asked softly. He was a little afraid of the answer but he had to know.
"A little of everything…blow jobs, anal sex…he’s into some really kinky shit. He’s even gone so far as to let his friends have me too." Andi paused to catch her breath. "He’s never made me feel like a woman…more a possession to satisfy his needs."
"Damn," he swore under his breath. "Was he your first?"
Andi nodded her head ‘yes’.
"Does your grandfather know?"
"I’m promised to Seth, Alex…it wouldn’t matter and it would break his heart."
"Andi, it’s RAPE, no matter what your grandfather or tribal law says."
"No, Alex. It’s not rape. I consented…each time," whispered Andi. "Please, I want to be with you. Let it go."
"I can’t let it go. Why do you consent though?" AJ ached seeing Andi upset like this.
"Because I’m promised to him, Alex. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I hope that he’ll realize that he’s not pleasing me and change."
"What about your grandfather? Does he know?"
"You just asked that, Alex." Andi tried to laugh it off but saw that AJ wasn’t amused. "No, he doesn’t and he would be heart broken if he did. Seth knows that and only does it when Grandfather is away and I’m alone."
It hit AJ then what she was saying. "That’s why you didn’t want to go home, isn’t it?"
Again she nodded ‘yes’ as tears formed in her eyes. "Alex, please…I DO want to be with you," she pleaded. "I MEANT all that I said."
"Shh, I know," he answered wiping her tears. Still holding her hand, he led her to the bed. "Let me show you what it’s like to make love, to be pleasured," he rasped as he began to slowly unbutton her shirt. "Trust me, baby. I’m not going to hurt you like that."
Andi was lost in his touch, his voice calming her nerves, his eyes soothing her soul. It was right. This was how it was suppose to be. This is how she had imagined it in her dreams.
His hands slid across her shoulders to remove the shirt from her body letting it fall to the floor. Deliberately, he untied the skirt from around her waist letting it too fall. Now, with all the gentleness that she could ever imagine in a man, he slid his hands down her sides underneath her panties and off. Gathering her in his arms, he picked her up, kissing her lightly and placed her in the middle of the bed. He stood back to undress, not once breaking his gaze with her.
His body was lean and hard and her craving to have him next to her rekindled. He wanted to love her, hold her, touch her, and she wanted it too. This man before her was her destiny…not Seth.
AJ joined her on the bed and took her in his arms. Softly he whispered, "Close your eyes, baby. Feel the warmth of our bodies pressed together."
"Aren’t we…"
He pressed a finger to her lips. "Shh, it’ll happen. Just relax."
Andi snuggled in closer to AJ resting her head on his chest. Closing her eyes, she focused on AJ, the way he smelled, the way he felt, the sounds he made. She listened to his heart beating…a soft thump-thump…and it was as if it was saying, ‘Trust me’ over and over.
AJ played with her hair, watching her. He knew she wanted him but he didn’t want to push her and he was willing to wait. Just to feel her next to him was enough for him.
It wasn’t long before he recognized the slow breathing of sleep and he looked down at her. She was asleep in his arms. Kissing her softly on her forehead, he relaxed and closed his eyes. He followed her into a peaceful sleep.
