undefined
Chapter 93
Jesse rolled over to look at the clock - 4:30 AM. For the last three nights, it had been the same thing. She'd cried herself to sleep in Richie's arms and she'd woken at the same time in the morning after a restless night. Richie and the rest of the gang had done their best to keep her occupied. It had worked except at night when she had tried to sleep.
Richie reached over. Sleepily, he said, "Scoot closer to me, baby."
Jesse scooted back to be next to him and he wrapped his arms around her. She put her hands on his arms and closed her eyes trying to focus on feeling the warmth of his body next to hers.
"Go back to sleep, Jess. We don't have to be up for a few hours and you didn't sleep well."
"I don't think I can sleep. My stomach is in knots," she whispered.
Richie moved a hand down to her stomach. "Nerves," he mumbled.
Jesse was quiet for a few minutes, then asked, "What if we lose Stevie?"
"We'll appeal it." Richie nuzzled her neck and said, "We can work on our own baby."
"Mmmm, sounds like fun."
"We can practice...AFTER you get a couple more hours of sleep."
Jesse pressed her butt into his groin. "You sure you wanna wait?"
"Behave and go back to sleep."
Jesse closed her eyes and tried to do just that but it was futile. Her thoughts went back to Stevie and Kevin. She lay in Richie's arms until she was positive he was asleep and eased out of them. She grabbed his shirt and a pair of shorts, pulled them on, and headed out to the kitchen being quiet so as not to wake Jon and Dorothea. She fixed herself a Mt. Dew and pop-tarts, then headed into the cool April morning.
Making her way to the swing under the tree by the house, she sat down and closed her eyes for a minute. "Daddy, I know there's a reason for everything that's happening in my life right now but I can't see it. I know you brought Richie and Tico and Jon and David into my life to look out for me and I'm so grateful. Just...please...give me the strength to get through today...especially if the outcome is in Kevin's favor and watch out for Stevie....he's scared," she said into the darkness.
A hand rested on her shoulder. "You'll be okay, 'Outlaw'."
She wasn't startled in the least as she asked, "What are you doing up?"
"Scoot over so I can sit." Jesse slid over and Jon sat with her. He wrapped his arm around her as he said, "I heard the door close behind you. You haven't been sleeping very well lately."
"And Richie's suffering for it too."
"He's worried about you...we all are."
"I know, Jon." She nestled her head against his shoulder. "I'm going to lose today, Jon, and I'm just as afraid that Richie is going to blame himself."
"I promise you, he knows who the blame lies with. He loves you...it's the only reason you were able to get him to come back Monday night...he didn't want to upset you."
Jesse played with Jon's hand as they sat in the still darkness. Around them, the world began to wake up and they continued to simply sit together. As the sky began to lighten in the east, a tear fell from her cheek onto his chest.
"If things don't turn out the way you want them to, why don't you let Richie take you away from here?"
"I'm going to. He's already planned a long weekend for us...with Stevie or without...and then we're going to visit his mother. From there, we're going to the West Coast to see Ava and look at my dress."
"While you're gone, if you don't have Stevie, focus on the two of you as a couple and enjoy the time."
"Am I being selfish?"
"No, you aren't. Jess, as much as you think you're being punished for falling in love with Richie, you're punishing yourself!! You made a mistake but you have more than made up for it. You know in your heart that there's a reason for everything happening...you just said it a few minutes ago to you dad...the reason is to make you focus on yourself for a change, to allow love into your life...and Stevie's. It's been the two of you against the world for four years now. Now, take the time to get use to all that goes with being a celebrity's spouse so that you can ease Stevie into it."
"I'll try."
"Whatever the outcome, you're going to be okay, Jess."
"Thanks." Jesse was quiet for a few minutes letting what Jon said sink in. "Dorothea said y'all are headed back tonight."
"Yeah, I'd like to see my kids on my break."
"I can't tell you how much it means to me that all of you have been here for me."
"You're a part of the family now."
Jesse laughed, "It sounds like the Mafia. Should I be worried?"
Jon laughed too and in a thick Jersey accent, said, "Well, youz knowz, we are from Jersey."
Jesse laughed more and Jon hugged her. "Not sure which of you is crazier with the voices."
"No contest...Uncle Richie."
A yawn escaped as she asked, "What time is it?"
"A little after five-thirty. Why don't you go climb back into bed for a little while?"
"I think I will. Richie promised we'd practice making our own little one."
"TMI, Outlaw," laughed Jon as he helped her up.
Together, they went back inside and before Jesse headed to her bedroom, Jon gave her a kiss on the cheek. He watched her disappear into her room before climbing back into bed with Dorothea.
