TURN BACK, NOW.

______________________________
2/13/05 Hannah and I always encounter the strangest things; never Jerica and I, or Sara and I -- just Hannah. I think where Hannah goes, amusement soon follows. Courtney and I have had our share of fun times...

Courtney: *puts in video* You have to hear this. There's a song by Elvis, "Pleeease don't stop... loving me...", just makes me melt.

(hours later; lying in bed)
Me: I can't sleep.
Courtney: *sleepily* Mhm...
Me: "Please don't stop..."
Courtney: SHUT UP! Don't make me put it in, again.
Me: ...Imagine someone just picking up on this.

Me: My mom says the BeeGees produce "John Travolta music".
Hannah: Your mom is garbage.

--

Guy: My head is stuck in Hannah's bra!!!
Hannah: That's not my bra.
Guy: *sobs* Oh no...
Hannah: haha.
Guy: You know what you should do...? Buy me a bra. I have man boobs ...they sag. They want to be voluptuous.
Hannah: *blinks*

--

Hannah: So...they call virginity the "flower"? Ha. We hicks say "flayer".
Me: "I'm gone eat 'che flayer."
Hannah: Aye, Justin. I ate Sarah's flayer, and you're jealous...because you aren't me...eating the flayer.
Justin: I've been told that I can be anything I put my mind to...
Hannah: Well, that may be, but I still ate your woman's flayer.

--

Hannah: Can I, like... buy a map?
Guy at counter: No.
Hannah: Oooooookay. Bye.
(in map store)

--

Mom: Why did you have a bottle of tea sitting on the sink?
Me: Oh...I must have forgotten it...
Hannah: Tell her it's ye spit jar.

--

Hannah's mom: Who's on the phone? Your Valentine? haha.
Hannah: Yeah, Sarah's my Valentine.
Hannah's mom: Oh yeah? ...my Valentine is the toilet.

Elderly man: ___damn it. Damn kids! *flails arms*
Me: Sorry, sir, I wasn't aware anyone was down there.
Elderly man: Don't be sorry...*crazy eyes*...JUST STOP! Damned fools. I gotche license plate number. *hacks; chokes*