Summary: Spike reflects on beauty

I really don't understand why you humans make such a bloody fuss over things. You don't even appreciate the best aspects of your humanity. Demons though, they know a good thing when they see it. A demon, a vampire at least will surround himself or herself if you prefer, with beauty, with the finer things if given the choice. Now I know what you’re thinking, I live in a crypt, what would I know about the finer things in life. Right? Well lets review shall we?

First, Angelus. Enough said, he took every beautiful thing he could get his hands on. The best houses to stay in, expensive paintings on the walls, silk sheets on the beds, velvet curtains hanging over the windows. Hell he even dressed in the best things, the most expensive Italian leather for his pants, boots and jackets, silk or velvet shirts, and don't forget the satin pajamas. Tosser! Then of course there were his Childer. Penn, a purist, the most honorable purest soul he could find. Didn't hurt that the boy was attractive as all hell. Dru, she got visions from the powers for crying out loud, he took her from the side of the light and twisted her until she was wrapped so far around him that she saw nothing else. She was beautiful too, a right wicked plum. Of course there was me as well. I wasn't his technically, but I wasn't exactly hers neither. She picked me, of course she had picked a dozen or so people that week. I was the only one to get the 'Angelus stamp of approval' so yeah I was his as well. And you don't need me to point out my finer qualities, hell just look at me! I'm a right handsome bloke! Sex on legs, I am!

Second, Angel. Yeah he's a soul having git but still a vampire. He lives in this big old fashioned hotel. He wears Armani and Gucci, still has a flare for Italian leather coats, surrounds himself with beautiful people, I mean why else would he have hired the cheerleader? That little Irish half breed wasn't a bad looking guy either. He chose Buffy, okay bad choice since shaggin' her lost him his soul but she is a right beautiful girl. Can't stand her personally, voice like nails on a chalk board. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't shag her. Then of course there's his car, the 'Angel Mobile' I like to call it. Sweet ride, but come on, a vampire with a convertible? Please!

Third, Darla. She was a whore when she was alive. Makes sense, if you ever met her you know why. She was always putting on airs, dragging us around to all these fancy parties, pretending like she was queen shit or something. Talk about issues! She had to have the most expensive dresses and jewels, go to the theatre, the opera, or just about any other upper class shindig. Thank God she mostly just took Angelus with her. I hated those things! She had to be in the center of everything, surrounding by the best that life has to offer, even her victims had to be the most beautiful, as if eating an ugly person was gonna kill her, again. Blood is blood, it's all good. Except when it's animal of course.

Fourth, Dru. Now my princess was a bit different. She liked nice things too, but her ideas of nice were sometimes a bit askew. She wanted pretty girls in pretty dresses, and I gave them to her. But she was twisted as I've already said, somewhat childish even. Therefore, dolls. She had a lot of dolls, expensive porcelain dolls with jeweled eyes and silk dresses. Some had real human hair. I had one made in her image for her once. It was an anniversary gift. She destroyed it, said it hurt to look upon such innocence twisted. I knew what she meant. She didn't want to see herself or remember the girl she used to be, before Angelus. She wanted song birds, so I got them for her. She always forgot to feed them and they died. I still got her more when she asked. I gave her everything she ever asked for. She thought I was beautiful, used to call me her blue eyed beauty, she did. Of course I was never enough for her, she always craved Angelus' attention. But that's another story for another time. Where was I? Oh yeah, on to me then.

I suppose I would be the fifth point to make. I like pretty things, kept Dru for a bloody century didn't I? I like expensive do-dads and what have you. I mean who wouldn't want to own a big screen TV, DVD player, surround sound stereo system with all the bells and whistles. If I had a place of my own, not a crypt, but a house or even a nice apartment I'd want all that. I'd have silk sheets on the bed and Persian carpets and all that rot too. Why the hell not? I'd surround myself with everything that you humans have created that is beautiful or expensive. I'd wear the finest in leather fashions, have a closet full of silk shirts, adorn myself in expensive jewelry. And then of course, I'd find me the most beautiful, precious mortal around to share it all with. That of course would be you. Now I know what your thinking, why would a vampire want to share all this with a lowly human? Easy. You won't be staying human for long. The chip? Not a problem, see that's the other thing about you humans, some of you want the finer things in life so badly that you'll do anything to have them. Even if it means trading in your soul. I found a doctor in LA who removed my chip in exchange for immortality. Of course I drained the bugger, didn't want anyone coming between us pet.

Now, I'm going to tell you a little something about me, I was bit like you when I was human. I fell for a girl who never saw me for what I was, much like you. I know all about the way you feel for her. It hurts like hell to be looked down on by someone you love. I was in a world of pain the night my princess found me, had just had my heart ripped out by the woman I love. Being turned was the best thing that ever happened to me. I made her pay for treating me like crap. No one will ever hurt you again luv, after tonight we'll make them all pay. Now wouldn't you like that Xander? Good boy, It'll only hurt for minute luv, then we'll have each other for eternity.