Spike was looking forward to a long hot shower and then a good night’s sleep in an actual bed. He had been sleeping on an old army cot while staying with - being held prisoner by - Riley. The thought of a real mattress, clean comfortable bedding, and a soft pillow was almost enough to make him skip the shower but he was covered in blood and sweat, so a shower was definitely needed.

Angel showered quickly and then called Wesley and Xander to check in. He wanted to keep them up-to-date on his guests and the situation in the hotel. He didn't have much to report, but figured they would appreciate the call.

"Hello?"

"Wes, it's Angel."

"Ah, how is everything there?"

"Good. Just thought I'd call and let you know I'm not dust."

"Very thoughtful of you."

"Could I speak to Xander for a minute?"

"Of course, one minute Angel."

There was a pause while Wesley put the phone and went to get Xander. Angel could hear the approaching steps on the other end of the line just before Xander spoke.

"Hey Deadboy! What's up?"

Angel growled in annoyance. He hated that nickname and was overjoyed when Xander had stopped using it. However, thanks to this other Xander it looked like it was going to be a frequent insult again.

"I really hate that name, Xander."

"I know."

Angel could hear the laughter in Xander’s voice and tried not to smile along with him. It didn't work.

"Look, do you think you could pick up a few things for Xander and Spike tomorrow? You would know his size and I will give you the sizes for Spike. Also, I think I'm going to need some groceries; he eats the way you do!"

"Sure, just let me grab a pen and you can tell me what you want."

Down the hall from Angel’s room Xander was having a nightmare. He was back in his cell; the orange-and-purple demon was coming toward him. When the door opened, Xander ran. He ran as fast as he could but the thing still caught him. He struggled uselessly against it, kicking and hitting it. He could feel it smelling him, tasting him. When the clawed hands unfastened his pants he screamed. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it hadn't happened this way, he had shifted!

Xander was trapped by the demon; he couldn't escape. He continued to scream and fight, he looked over the thing’s shoulder and saw Willow watching from the doorway. She stared at him with her one green eye, blinking. Then she tilted her head ever so slightly and spoke.

"You left me to this, Xander. Why? Why did you leave me behind?"

Xander shook his head frantically as the demon’s hands roamed over his most private places.

"No! No Wills, it wasn't my fault. I wanted to save you, I didn't know how. Please. It wasn't my fault. Please."

The demon continued its assault, fondling his cock and balls - squeezing them painfully hard. He felt a long sharp claw reaching between his cheeks to probe at his anus and he screamed again. Willow began to laugh.

Spike had just finished drying off and pulling on a pair of sweatpants that Angel had left for him when he heard the scream. He knew all about those screams. They were the kind you made when you were helpless to do anything else. He shook his head sadly and left the room.

Xander hadn't locked his door so Spike was able to enter the room without breaking down the door. He took a look at the thrashing, moaning man on the bed and then sighed. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not but it had always worked with Dru, so he slid into the bed beside him and began to softly stroke the boy’s back while talking to him.

"Come on, pet. Wake up now. Just a dream s'all."

Xander stopped thrashing but he was still moaning and whimpering quietly. Spike continued to speak to him in the same low, soothing voice while petting him softly.

"You gotta wake up, Xander. I can't do nothing to help you in your dreams, pet. Come on. Wake up, that's it. Nothing here but you an' me."

Xander started to wake up slowly, shaking off the nightmare. He realised that he wasn't alone in his bed, and tensed up until he heard Spike’s voice. He wanted to cry he was so thankful. He didn't cry, but he did burrow into Spike’s arms and squeeze him tightly. Spike just continued to pet him and lay down next to the boy.

Angel hung up the phone with Xander and went down the hall to check on his guests; he thought he had heard screaming. When he looked in Spike’s room it was empty so he moved on to Xander’s. He cracked open the door and was shocked to see Spike in bed with the man, holding him and gently rubbing circles on his back. It was a familiar scene, but back then it was a different brunette that Spike held in his arms.

Spike was aware of Angel’s presence but didn't say anything. What was there to say? He wasn't doing anything wrong, Xander had rescued him, and he was just returning the favour. When Xander lifted his head to speak though, he put his finger to his lips to quiet him before glaring at the vampire in the doorway. Angel got the message and slowly closed the door.

"Sorry luv, didn't figure you wanted Angel listening in on something that's obviously private."

"Angel was here? Shit. Thanks."

"No worries. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. Not really."

Spike nodded and just continued to lay there in bed with Xander. He knew he should leave but the heat was nice, and he could do with a bit of comforting himself so he stayed. Eventually, he heard Xander sigh in frustration.

"It might help to talk, pet. You don't seem to be able to sleep."

"I know. It's just ... It's hard."

"Yeah, but hey you survived it yeah? So it's over with. Whatever it was, you lived through it."

Xander took a deep, calming breath and then slowly let it out. He didn't want to talk about it, he wanted to forget it ever happened, but he knew that it wasn't going to just go away, and maybe he would feel better if he told Spike. It couldn't make him look any girlier than laying here clinging to the vampire.

"It was awful, Spike. That place? It was so horrible, and I found Willow, only she was broken. She didn't know me, she never even looked at me or spoke or anything. I held her and ... nothing. She was so beaten, scarred. It was like looking at a person whose soul had left but the body kept living."

Spike nodded to let Xander know he was paying attention and continued to pet him, trying to soothe him. Xander stared off into space for a moment before continuing.

"Just before the shift - before I ended up in this reality, a demon took me out of my cell. He - it was going to ... rape me. I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I was just too weak from fighting and not eating, it caught me."

Xander began to shake as the images assaulted him once again. He could hear Spikes low soothing voice speaking to him but he didn't understand the words. He was aware of soft cool hands rubbing his back and he sighed. It felt nice, being held and comforted. He was beginning to understand what the other Xander meant when he said Spike wasn't what he appeared to be. The man beside him was a caring, compassionate individual. Xander shook his head and began to talk again.

"In the dream, I didn't shift. After the demon tore my shirt, he licked my neck and then went for my pants. That's when it happened - the shift - but this time I was still there. Only I wasn't alone, Willow was in the doorway; she was blaming me for leaving her there. I tried to tell her that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't help her. The demon’s hands were everywhere, it grabbed my ... and then I felt its claws at my ... she was laughing at me, Spike. She laughed and said it was all my fault."

Xander broke down and began to cry. Spike held him tighter and let him. He wasn't sure what to do for him; when Dru was this upset he usually distracted her with sex. Somehow he doubted that Xander was looking to get shagged after that. Especially by a demon.

Spike held the sobbing boy and made quiet shushing noises as he stroked his hair. He waited until the boy fell asleep before trying to extract himself from the warm arms that had wrapped around him. Every time he got free of one, the other would tighten. Eventually he gave up with a chuckle and settled down to sleep. He just hoped the boy wasn't upset with him in the morning.