I have wanted to ask Xander how he and Spike got together, but I don't want to have that conversation in front of Spike. I'm hoping to get him alone for a bit today. He's going to meet me for lunch at the Doublemeat Palace. Speaking of which, I have to go or I'll be late.

Xander packed his journal into his backpack along with his extra set of clothes. He didn't seem to have any warning when he would shift realities so he tended to keep his things with him at all times, especially his journal. If he ever got home, Giles would find it fascinating. If he decided to show it to him.

Xander strolled down the street toward the fast food place. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm but not too warm. It felt good to just be alive and outside. When he got to the Doublemeat Palace, his twin was nowhere to be seen so he got his food and sat down in a booth to wait. He didn't have to wait long. Within five minutes, Xander slid into the seat across from him. They both grinned when they saw that they had chosen the exact same meal.

"So, what did you want to see me about?"

"Ah, straight to the point. I like that."

"No sense in playing dumb with you, is there?"

"No. You're right. I have a few questions that I was hoping you wouldn't mind me asking. They're kind of personal."

"In other words, you didn't want to ask me in front of Spike?"

"Well, yeah. But the girls and Giles too."

"Okay, shoot."

Xander opened his burger and took the tomato and pickles off and discarded them. He watched as the other Xander did the same. He chuckled again. It really was too weird.

"I always forget to just order it without tomato and pickle."

"Me too. And you're stalling."

"I know. It's just ... "

"You want to know how I ended up with Spike, right?"

"Yeah, that and ... how come you're gay?"

The Xander of this world took a long sip of his soda and ran a hand back through his hair.

"It would be easier to answer the gay issue first, then I'll explain about Spike. Okay?"

"Okay."

"It started on my fifteenth birthday. I didn't have a party, mom was ... okay mom was drunk as usual and dad could give a shit whether or not I had food to eat, let alone a party."

"Yeah, I know."

"I guess you would. Anyway, Willow and Jesse threw me a secret party. It was out in Miller’s woods, in a clearing where we used to play. It was the place where Wills and I used to play doctor, only she never got it right."

"She brought a little black bag with a stethoscope and a thermometer. I remember that."

"Yeah, never had the heart to tell her."

"Me neither."

"Well, that night I stayed over at Jesse's. His Mom baked a cake for me and everything. It was great; we stayed up late watching monster movies and then stumbled up to bed. We were laying down in bed and I was just drifting off to sleep, then..."

"He kissed me. You. I ... it happened to me too. I pretended I was asleep and as soon as Jesse fell asleep I went downstairs and slept on the couch. He never did it again, and we pretended it hadn't happened. Never even talked about it."

"I didn't. I kissed him back. We dated secretly for a while, no one knew, not even Willow. When Darla turned him I wanted to die. I was lost without him and I couldn't even tell anyone why. I decided I would never hide who I was again. Life is way too short man, especially when you hang out with the slayer."

Xander and Xander finished their lunches in silence. Xander had a lot to think about. He remembered the night Jesse kissed him. He had often wondered how differently his life might have been had he only admitted he liked it instead of running away from it. Now he knew. This Xander was happy, he was in love and he was confident. No zeppo in him at all.

As they were walking back to the construction site, Xander had to ask about Spike.

"Oh that. Well it's kinda funny actually. I tied him to my barka lounger the first night he stayed in the basement with me. We had a nice little conversation about my bite-worthiness."

"Moist and delicious?"

"Yep, a real nummy treat."

Both Xanders chuckled at the remembrance of that conversation.

"Anyway, I started thinking about other places I could tie him up to. He knew exactly what I was thinking and called me on it. Eventually, we just gave in to it. Been together ever since. He's more than you think he is. You know Spike: the 'big bad', Master vampire and all that crap. I know William. The person he really is behind all those fronts. It takes a special person to stay with an insane woman for a century, you know?"

"Loyal, I get that. He defended Dawn with his life during the Glory thing."

"So, was there anything else you wanted to know? Size? Stamina? Technique?"

Xander spluttered and his double laughed.

"That wasn't nice!"

"I know."

"Actually I was wondering, if you're gay... who summoned Anyanka?"

"Willow, who else?"

"Wills? Why?"

"Cordelia cheated on her with Harmony. She was pissed. Who summoned her in your world?"

"Cordy. She caught me and Willow kissing after Spike kidnapped us."

The Xander of this world burst out laughing.

"You dated Cordelia Chase? Man and I thought you had class."

"Hey!"

"Please, I bet you chased Buffy too, didn't you?"

"Well ..."

"Over-compensating much? You chased after the most unattainable women. Did you ever wonder why?"

"And on that note, I'm going back to the shop. I told Giles I'd give him a hand with inventory."

"Chicken."

Xander straightened his backpack and walked away. Just as he turned the corner he felt that dizzy sensation again.