He didn't go out at night much anymore, Spike was adamant that he stay inside or be accompanied by him. Not that he minded the protection Spike offered him, it was just that he felt a bit ... coddled. He had spent the last twenty-eight years looking after himself after all. He certainly didn't need to be watched like a three year old.

Of course when he'd told Spike that, the vampire was most indignant. He spluttered and raged about how fragile he was now, about how many different species of demon could and would kill him for either food or sport. Not to mention the fact that he hasn't been human in over a century and had no idea how to fight in his new weakened state.

Wil had to admit he was right, not that he was happy about it. If it weren't for Alex, and possibly Spike, he would sell the shop and move away from Sunnydale. Perhaps he could talk them into leaving with him?

That was the other problem. He wasn't sure what was going to happen with them now that he was human again. He still loved Alex, that wasn't an issue, and Spike was very important to him. If he could get past the fact that he was in a body identical to his own, and that he was a demon, Wil was pretty sure he could come to love him as well. He just wasn't sure he was willing to give up his humanity for the two of them.

Could they accept that? If he decided he didn't want to become immortal? If that were even possible, he refused to be a vampire. Sharing his body with Spike was one thing, but to share it with some other demon? The thought made him cringe. And they hadn't thought of any other way, aside from asking Anya to curse him, to do it.

So the question was, would they stick by him as he grew older, as he got weaker and eventually died of old age? Would they resent him for not giving them forever? Would they even care now that they had each other to spend eternity with?

It was questions like these that held him back from being with them, well Alex any way. With Spike, it was all of that plus the idea of having sex with a double of his own body, it just seemed ... wrong. He knew the demon found his hesitation both amusing, and frustrating at the same time. Alex however, was as patient as he had been in the beginning of their relationship. Although he did wonder what was keeping the two of them from simply falling into bed together. He thought perhaps that it was because of him but he wasn't entirely sure.

Wil found himself in the park once again and had to smile that his feet had brought him here of all places. He sat down on the same bench he and Alex had sat at the night he told him about Spike, the night he had learned about Alex’s' past, about the curse. Could he really give up a chance at eternity with Alex? Did he want to?

The truth was, the idea of forever scared the hell out of him. He was human. Humans weren't supposed to live forever. He had a second chance at life, a chance to have a real life, a happy life. He could travel, he could go to university, he could write again. He had a chance to do all the things he had been denied by his death. He could get married, have a family ...

The shock at that thought took his breath away. He could. Have a family, that is. Children. Little people that looked like him, that would carry on his legacy after he died. A sweet little girl with big soulful eyes, like Dawn. Maybe a smart young lad with honey colored hair and bright blue eyes. Someone he could teach, love, protect and cherish. He had wanted a family when he was alive, the first time. Did he still want that?

Maybe this was why he was holding back. Why he had avoided being intimate with Alex. Perhaps it was because he wasn't sure what he wanted yet? He needed to talk to Alex. Even if he hadn't made any decisions, he needed to tell him what was holding him back. Feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, Wil stood up and made his way back toward his apartment.