"Alright, you know a lot about vampires and how they incorporate their human hosts memories into themselves right?"

Alex nodded but remained silent.

"Right, well that's kind of what happened with Spike and myself. When I died the demon took over and used my memories to make a place for himself in this world. He knew everything I knew plus what was instinctual to its species. When I awoke in that cave, I knew only that I had died and was now looking into the face of a monster. I knew who I was, I had all my own memories but knew nothing of the demon that had inhabited my form for the past century. It was Spike who taught me how to get by in this new world, how to fit in. I assimilated his knowledge into myself much the way a vampire does to its host."

Wil stood and began to pace as Alex sat and waited for him to continue.

"When we came back here, when we learned what had happened, I lost a part of myself. Angel and Angelus are polar opposites they fight each other for dominance, both trying to pretend the other doesn't exist. Spike and I co-existed almost peacefully. Those years with the chip had mellowed him somewhat, he was a pleasant companion when he wasn't trying to drive me out of mind. Did you know he can sing every song the Sex Pistols every recorded? Well he can, I had the pleasure of hearing them over and over on our trip back to the States."

Alex couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. He remembered Spikes' singing very well.

"Yeah, I lived with him. I know. It was his only form of torture left, he used it quite well. He had a real nice voice when he tried though, when he thought no one could hear him."

"Yes I agree. I was always too shy to perform in public but I loved to sing when I was alone. I guess it was one of the traits he inherited from me. But I should continue with the point I was making. The night that Spike fell silent, after we had screamed out all the rage and hurt that he felt, I began to lose those memories, those comforts. I had to actively search for information where as before it was all right there. I can only assume that Spike opened his mind to me willingly and when he shut down it shut down with him. That's one of the reasons I didn't recognize you. Spike would have known you by scent alone, I had no recollection of your scent anymore."

Wil sat next to Alex again and took his hand.

"I miss my demon, Alex. I don't feel complete without him but I am afraid."

"Because of me?" "Because of what Spike might do to you. He and Xander were never friends, but you know that." "I do. But I'm not Xander, not anymore. I grew up, I changed. Christ Wil, I came here looking for Spike. Is that something Xander would have done?" "No. I see your point Alex, but I still worry." "Hey, it's not like he can kill me. Well okay, he could. But I won't stay dead." "That is hardly the point! I don't know how you can be so...... " "Relax Wil, I'm just trying to lighten the mood a bit. I understand why you're afraid, I won't tell you that I'm not, a chipless Spike is the stuff of nightmares. But I like you, a lot. I want to be with you, and I don't care if Spike has a problem with that. If he has a problem with us as a couple then he will just have to close his eyes and plug his ears when we're together." Wil smiled at Alex and pulled him closer. He kissed him gently and then drew back. "You realize, that Spike and I share a body don't you? I'll look pretty silly with my fingers in my ears and my eyes screwed shut every time we're together." "I meant in a metaphorical sense." "You really have changed. Xander wouldn't ever use that word let alone use it properly." "Ha ha, I'm insulted really."

Alex and Wil spent the remainder of the evening at Wils' apartment. They talked some more about Alex’s' past and Wil began to realize that Alex was as far from Xander as he was from Spike. Hopefully Spike would realize this as well and there would be no problems with his and Alex’s' relationship.

As the night drew on Alex reluctantly got ready to leave. He wished that Wil was ready for a more physical relationship, he desperately wanted to touch Wil with out a layer of clothing between them. Tonight was the most they had ever touched without the vampire pulling away shyly. But as much as Alex was ready to take Wil to bed, he knew the other man wasn't there yet.

"I have to go Wil."

"I wish you didn't."

"I do. I want you too much to stay. I told you I wouldn't rush you, and I meant it."

"I understand, I wish I could tell you I was ready for this but I'm not yet."

"I know, and I'm okay with that. Can I kiss you again before I go?"

"Please do."

They kissed until Alex had to pull away for fear of not being able to stop. Both men were extremely aroused and knew they had to stop. Wil walked Alex downstairs and let him out the front door of the shop before heading back up to his apartment.

Once inside Wil stripped off and climbed into the shower. He stood under the hot water and thought about Alex and the way his hands felt as the touched him, the way he kissed him with such passion, he whispered his name as he brought himself to climax. If it weren't for Spike and his sudden reappearance, Wil would have asked Alex to stay the night. He was ready, but he needed time for Spike to come to terms with it before he took the next step.

Alex got back to the hotel in record time, it would be his last night there. He could still taste Wil in his mouth, he was still hard and was desperate for release. He drew a bath and climbed in, that was one thing he wouldn't miss about the hotel - the shower had no water pressure at all.

Alex lay back in the hot water and thought about Wil as he stroked his painfully hard erection. It didn't take long for him to bring himself off. He climbed out of the tub, dried off and collapsed on the bed. Tomorrow was going to be hell, he only hoped that the trip to the storage locker would help Spike. He suspected that Spike was the reason Wil wasn't ready to be with him and he wanted to do anything he could to help.