Suburban Gridlock It’s the day after Thanksgiving and somehow, someway, Faith has been suckered into going shopping with Buffy on the busiest shopping day of the year. Well okay, she knows how she was talked into it: sexual bribery. Buffy offered four hours of hot naked sex in exchange for two hours of shopping and Faith had thought it sounded like the deal of the century at the time. Boy was she wrong. Not that sex with Buffy isn’t awesome – it totally is – but getting out of bed at three in the morning to stand in line for two hours in the freezing cold just doesn’t seem to balance out. Especially not when she has a turkey hangover the size of a small country. “This is ridiculous,” Faith mutters under her breath as Buffy flips once again through the sale ad. She shrugs down a bit so she can put her mouth and nose into her jacket to warm them up. “It’s not ridiculous, it’s tradition. Besides, I need you to be my wingman. Things can get a little crazy once they open the doors.” “All I’m sayin’ is that if I get trampled I ain’t gonna be happy.” “You won’t. Just walk fast and head right for the electronics sections. Run if you have to. There are no rules that say we can’t use our slayer abilities for our own personal gain.” “You still haven’t told me what you’re after that’s so important. Christmas ain’t for like another month, babe.” “We’re getting Xander a new Wii gaming system and Dawn needs a laptop, and with the money I’m going to save by getting Black Friday deals, I might be picking up a little something for you too.” That’s all it takes to turn Faith’s frown upside down. She stops leaning against the building and begins stretching, ignoring the smirk Buffy’s giving her. A commotion begins in front of them and when they look over, they realize that it’s because the store is about to open. One of the employees is on the other side of the glass doors and when he pushes them open, pandemonium breaks out. More than three hundred people rush the single entrance and things come to a complete standstill as they try to filter in two at a time. While Buffy is being patient, Faith pushes her way forward using maybe just a touch of slayer strength and suddenly finds herself standing inside the store, completely Buffy-less. Panicked, she turned around and sees Buffy waving her into the store. “Go, baby! Go!” Nodding, Faith turns and starts a fast walk toward the electronics department. It’s already crawling with customers and the small entrance between checkout counters is completely blocked. It’s almost as bad as the gridlock at the entrance door. She tries to push her way in but that only gets her slapped on the hand by an old woman with a plastic babushka on her head. Not discouraged (but slightly chagrined, she’ll admit; she hasn’t been smacked like that since she was seven and tried to steal a cookie from her Grandma’s cookie jar), she makes sure no one is looking and hops up onto the vacant checkout counter and into the department. Before she can move away, she hears a soft thump behind her and turns around, surprised to find Buffy there. “What?” Buffy asks. “You didn’t think you were the only ruthless one here, did you.” Grinning, Faith lets Buffy lead the way, wondering exactly what Buffy is going to pick out for her. They laugh together at all of the suckers who need carts to carry out their heavy items. Sometimes it really is great to be a slayer. Buffy goes off to find the laptop and while she takes care of that, Faith finds the last Wii on the shelf for Xander. When they meet up midway down an aisle with televisions down both sides of it, Faith happily accepts the high-five Buffy gives her and takes the laptop from her so that Buffy still has two free hands to shop. “Two for two,” Faith says. “What’s next on your list? And I swear, if you tell me you’re gettin’ me slippers, the ride home ain’t gonna be pleasant for either of us.” Clearly she’s joking – she’ll be happy with anything Buffy gives her – but she really hopes it isn’t something lame like slippers. Not when Xander and Dawn are getting awesomeness. Buffy smiles but doesn’t say anything. Instead she moves her eyes over to the side and looks back to Faith. Faith furrows her brow and tries to figure out what’s going on. When she looks over to where Buffy had just looked over to, her mouth drops open. To the shelf just to their side is a fifty-two inch flatscreen plasma television. It’s beautiful, probably the best thing she’s ever seen, and Buffy is grabbing the enormous box off of the shelf with ease. “Oh B,” Faith begins, her eyes wide. “We can name it after you. I’ll even let you dress it up once in a while.” “So long as I get the remote control now and again, I don’t mind what you name it.” “Yeah, sure, whatever,” Faith says blankly, trying to read the details on the box as Buffy maneuvers it to the checkout. “Does it get to live with us in our bedroom?” “It does.” “You have no idea how hard I love you right now.”
“Oh, I have an idea,” Buffy says with a grin. “But I’ll let you show me how much tonight anyway.”
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