14 May 2000
In Love With Rage
How can you look so gentle while sleeping?
The lashing of your fist so devastating.
How can you seem as though you love or care?
Wrapped in your blame and rage, you leave me bare.
You scourge my soul; deeper and deeper you strive.
The depths you have plumbed, leaving nothing alive.
Your face turns away from the hurt and the pain.
No remorse hides in you, look for compassion in vain.
Your paper-doll to cut out and tear up I must be.
Two-dimensional I am now, not much to see.
Imprinted in your mind is my false guilt.
Only you cannot see my prison you've built.
Alone with my soul, I shiver with dread;
Straining to hear the sound of your tread.
Does it once more bring violence and pain?
Or will you swallow me up, docile and tame?
My mind flies from home, no safety there.
Just the Giant, the Ogre, hiding in his lair.
Pointing finger and accusing, loud voice;
I grovel before you, left with one choice.
For my body and mind, I now despair.
I am worthy of more, but you do not dare.
Have given you everything, all that I am.
Yet share you will not, and so I am damned.
--Heather Lei Martin-
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