Fanfiction


 

Chapter 10

It took a few seconds for Buffy to snap out of her frozen state. When she did, she forced out a chuckle:  

"Boy, you really like the sound of your own voice, don't you."  

She quickly made her way across the living room and into the kitchenette, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. 

Opening the top cupboards, she pretended to be busily looking for something while he was left standing by the TV set. His head dropped slightly forward and a smile spread over his lips while he shook his head. 

"If I'm wrong, why are you running away?" He replied turning to see her going through the fridge. 

At the accusation, Buffy immediately closed the refrigerator door and turned to look at him from across the room. 

"I'm not running away!" She denied vehemently. 

"Right, you just had a sudden craving to check what's to eat." He mocked crossing the living room. 

Buffy let out a sigh of relief when he stopped at the counter and didn't follow her into the kitchen. She watched as he crossed his arms over the white surface and leaned on it. He lasciviously ran his tongue over his teeth before biting into his lower lip and narrowing his eyes at her. 

"Arg!" Her face scrunched up for her growingly familiar look of disgust. "Do you think that's at all appealing?"  

A scarred eyebrow rose on his forehead. 

"What is?" 

"The whole tongue thing." She wrinkled nose while her index finger dismissively pointed at his mouth. "Cause I gotta tell you? It's so not." She widened her eyes for an instance as she walked back to the refrigerator, leaning in to inspect its contents once more. 

Buffy let out a sigh when she felt her empty stomach growl as she pushed the milk carton out of the way. 

'I can't believe it! There's some juice left. Thank God the milk was hiding it! Juice has sugar in it, doesn't it?' She wondered. 

"Some women like it." His voice used haughtiness. 

"Right! *Some* women. A *very* select group, and considering Harmony as a specimen... well..." She smiled inwardly at her witty response while picking up the small glass container. She closed the refrigerator door and continued: "...it's not a very impressive demographic, is-" She stopped in mid-sentence, backtracking as she turned around to find Spike's face right in front of her. 

Somehow, he had managed to make his way unnoticed from the counter and into the kitchenette to stand right behind her. 

"My tongue bother you, Summers?" He asked, narrowing his eyes and staring down at her. 

"No." She practically gulped the answer as she backed up, feeling the cold refrigerator door against her back. 

She clutched the bottle of juice in her hand as she remained in place, her heart slamming in her chest while the distinct smell of leather and alcohol seemed to wrap itself around her. 

It had started as another successful tactic to push her buttons. Somehow, the sight of her confused and aggravated pleased him immensely. But the moment he stepped up behind her and she turned around, something hit him hard. He still managed to blurt out his clever 'My tongue bother you' line, his half smirk was still in place but inside him he felt something snap out of place. Or maybe into place, he still wasn't sure of it yet. All he knew was that he was surrounded by the sweetest scent he could remember. He withheld a gasp when he felt her breath on his neck. It was warm and yet it caused his skin to prickle with goosebumps. 

They stood silent, staring at each other for a few seconds until she suddenly moved, walking around him and effectively snapping them out of their daze. 

He let his shoulders slouch; exhaled sharply and letting his eyes close for a second as he unconsciously tried to register the last of her scent. 

He turned around to find her leaning on the sink, her attentions completely focused on the small glass container in her hands. 

"What's his name?" 

"Huh?" She asked without looking up from her task. She wasn't ready to look him in the eye just yet, so she continued to struggle with the bottle. 

'Stupid thing won't open.' 

"The guy that hurt you." 

She froze at that. 

"Who says there's a guy?" She questioned looking up at him. 

"There's always a guy." He replied, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the refrigerator. 

"Well..." Her eyes returned to the bottle as she tried to turn the cap. "There's none in this story, ok? Stupid bottle!" She protested bagging the container against the sink. 

"Here, gimme that." He outstretched his hand. 

"I can do it." She insisted, picking up a towel and using it to open the container. 

"You really should-" 

"I can do it!" She snapped looking up at him threateningly. 

"Fine." He gave up, putting up his hands in a sign of surrender while he watched her struggle with the bottle for another minute. After a while she gave up and handed it to him. 

"Here." 

His lips tugged at the side for a smile as he watched her pout angrily. 

With little effort he turned the cap and opened the bottle handing it to her. 

"Thanks." She said reluctantly. 

"You're welcome, though I wouldn't drink that if I were you." 

"Why not?" She asked, the tip of the bottle stopping an inch from her lips. 

"Read the label." 

Buffy frowned, turning to read the fine print. 

"Best before..." She trailed off when she read last Monday's date. "You knew this was passed the expiration date and you didn't tell me?" 

"You didn't ask." He replied innocently. 

She growled inwardly, throwing the bottle in the garbage container. 

"I guess I'm gonna starve." She grumbled. 

"No, you're not. Harmony's bringing us Chinese food." 

"No thanks." She said, raising both eyebrows and turning to leave. 

"I would really like to know when you actually started believing that you're better than other people." 

"What?" She asked turning around to face him. "I don't think I'm better than anyone." 

"I beg to differ, your highness, but that little eyebrow-nose-twisting thing you just did? It's called scorn." He replied angrily, pushing himself off the refrigerator to stand in front of her again. 

"What eyebrow-nose-twisting thing? I didn't do any..." Her hand came to rest on her nose as she pouted slightly. 

"Oh, yes you did." 

"I did not." 

"Yes, you did." 

"I-" she cut herself off. "Look, you know what? I really don't feel like being dragged into another one of you twisted little mind games. I'm tired and I just want to take a shower and go to bed." She made a move to leave but found her path blocked by the leather-clad Brit. 

"Admit it. You think you're better than other people." 

"I do not!" She denied vehemently. 

"Yes, you do." 

"Fine! Think whatever you want. You don't even know me." She said, trying to get past him, but once again he stepped in front of her. "I'm really getting-" 

"His name." 

"What?" 

"What's his name?" 

"What are you talking about?" Man, he really did have a way of jumping from one subject to the other without warning.  

"Prince charming who-done-you-wrong." 

She swallowed hard and her gaze turned cold. 

"It's none of your business." 

"Oh, so there is a guy. What did he do? Cheat? That why you only go out with... what did you call them? 'Run of the mill, *non-psychotic*, nice guys'? That it?" He was definitely pushing her pushing her buttons now. He could practically feel the urge she had to punch him. 

"What Angel and I had? You could even *begin* to grasp." She spat. 

"So it's Angel. What kind of a ponce name is that?" 

"Better than Spike." She replied angrily. 

"Not likely." He mumbled. 

"Very likely for someone with an ounce of taste." She retorted. 

He chose to ignore her statement and asked: 

"So, what did Angel do to you?" 

"Hey, boink-boy!" She snapped. "If you don't want to be singing soprano for the rest of your life, I'd suggest you move out of my way. Now." 

"You wouldn't dare." He smirked at her and that seemed to be the last straw.  

Without warning her knee came up and slammed hard against his crotch, causing him to let out a painful shriek as he doubled over in pain. With her path clear, as he lay on the floor mumbling a series of colourful curses, she walked out of the kitchenette, across the living room and into her bedroom. 

With an angry growl she threw herself on the bed. 

'God, the nerve of some people!' She thought as her mind replayed the events that had just occurred. 

She waited until the anger subsided and she was finally able to breathe properly before she stood up again and walked around the room. Gradually, remorse started mixing in with the rage, soothing it and eventually making it disappear. 

"Oh, God. What if I broke it?" She finally thought as occasional muffled moans continued to carry through the door. 

She did another couple of full circles before she decided to go back into the living room and ascertain the damage she had caused. Silently, she pushed the door open and walked along the corridor. She found him lying sprawled on the couch, one arms flung over his face while the other held a bag of ice pressed against his crotch. 

She stood there, quietly hearing him moan out a couple of curses. 

"A-Are you ok?" She managed to say anxiously. 

The arm that covered his face moved out of the way and he glanced up at her to reveal blood-shot eyes. 

"Well, I don't think I'm gonna sing soprano for the rest of my life." 

"Oh, God I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- I-I'm so sorry." She stuttered nervously, quickly coming to kneel next to the couch. "I-I... We should get you to a hospital or something. Check if... You know. If... um..." Her head tilted towards his crotch. "If everything's working... down there." She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. 

"Care to take it for a test drive?" He suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at her. 

"Arg! God, you can't even quit the sexual innuendoes when you're on the verge of castration, can you?" She asked disgusted. 

"It's beyond my control." He replied. 

"Disgusting..." She mumbled standing up and turning to leave. 

"Ouch!" He cried out and in a flash she was by his side.  

"Are you ok?" 

"Now that you mention it... I think it could use a massage." He half growled. 

"Pig!" 

"It's chow time!" Harmony's cheerful voice came from the front door as she pushed it open and entered the apartment with two large plastic bags in each hand. "Spike? Oh, my God! What happened?" 

She rushed to kneel down on the floor in front of the couch while Buffy silently moved away. 

"Nothing. Just had an accident." Spike replied; his eyes fixed on Buffy. 

"What do you mean? How?" 

"I... um walked into one of the stools." Was the first excuse he could think of. Thankfully, the woman he was trying to convince wasn't too bright. 

"Oh, you poor little thing." She mumbled child-like as she snuggled against his chest, while he looked over her blonde hair to find Buffy mouthing: 

'Thank you.' 

'You're welcome.' He mouthed back, just before she disappeared into the corridor and into her bedroom. 

~+~ 

Buffy lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Today had probably been one of the strangest days in her life. She let out a sigh and reached for the telephone, dialling the familiar number. 

"Hello? Dawn? It's Buffy. Hey, how are you?" 

"Hey, Buffy." 

"I missed you last weekend. You were and Janice's. Maybe you should stop sleeping over there all the time. You know you can't leave mom alone. Not now." 

"Mom's fine. You heard what the doctor said." Dawn replied. 

"You shouldn't leave her alone like that anyway." 

"But she's not even at home most of the time." 

"What do you mean?" Buffy frowned. 

"Well... she's... out... you know." Dawn stuttered a bit. 

"No, I don't know. What do you mean?" 

There was a silence on the other side of the line. 

"Dawn. Where's mom?" 

"Um..." Dawn hesitated before settling for: "She's out."  

"Out? What do you mean out? Oh, God!" Buffy fingers froze around the telephone cord. "Dawn, did something happen to mom? Dawn is she-" 

"Relax, will you? Mom's fine. She's... at work." 

"What do you mean at work? It's Saturday night. What's mom doing at the gallery at this hour?" 

"She just had some things to take care of." 

"Dawn? I'm your sister; I know when you're lying." 

"Mom's gonna kill me when she finds out I told you but... She's been working a few extra hours a week. " 

"Why?" Buffy frowned as she resumed twirling the telephone cord. 

There was a long pause. 

"Dawn!" 

"Fine! Mom's working to get some extra money to pay for the hospital bills. Apparently, the insurance she had didn't cover all the medical stuff or something so we are going to have to pay for them. There, I said it." Dawn let out a long sigh. She was really in trouble now. "Buffy, are you there?" 

The silence dragged on for a few seconds before Buffy uttered:  

"I'm coming over."  

"What?! It's ten o'clock at night. Buffy!" 

There was no answer but the busy signal from the other side of the line. 

"Great! Mom's gonna kill me." Dawn muttered as she hung up the phone. 

Within three minutes Buffy was out of her bedroom and crossing the living room. 

"Where are you going?" Harmony's voice caused her to stop in mid-stride. 

"Home." Buffy replied. 

"At this hour?" The ex-cheerleader wondered from her place on the couch next to Spike as she forked a large amount of sweet and sour pork into her mouth. 

"Yes." Buffy replied as she resumed walking. 

"You can't go on the bus alone at this hour." Spike finally spoke up. 

"I'll be fine." Buffy said as she searched for her keys on the kitchen counter. 

"I'll drive you." Spike announced standing up and setting his carton box on the coffee table before reaching for his duster and putting it on. 

"No. I can take the bus. I'll be fine." 

"I'll drive you. I have to go anyway." 

Buffy flushed a bit when she noticed him limping a bit as he made his way towards her. 

"You're going. I thought you were gonna stay over, so we could..." Harmony trailed off with a large lascivious grin. 

"Sorry, luv. I think the shop's closed; at least for tonight." He replied before turning to Buffy. "Let's go." 

She was still glued to the floor, holding the door open, stunned by his readiness to give her a ride. 

"Are you sure?" She asked as she watched him cross the front door. 

"I'm sure. Bye, Harm." 

Closing her hanging mouth, Buffy exited the apartment and followed him into the elevator. 

They walked in awkward silence to the car. 

The ride home seemed longer than usual as the only sounds filling the old car were the hard guitar cords coming from the radio and Buffy's occasional directions. 

"Turn right here." Buffy instructed. "It's that house." She pointed as the car came to a halt just in front of her driveway. "Well... thanks." She spoke awkwardly. 

"You're welcome." 

Her hand lingered on the door. 

"I better..." She tilted her head toward her house. 

"Yeah." He nodded. 

She had just opened the door and was about to exit when she let herself drop back into the car seat. 

"I'm really sorry about earlier." 

"It's ok, luv. Not the first and probably not the last time." 

"You're limping. Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital to check." 

"I'll be fine." He assured her. 

"Ok, if you say so." She said stepping out of the car. "Thanks again for the ride." 

He simply nodded. 

"Bye." 

"Night, Summers." 

She gulped and turned around, heading for her house. She walked up the front steps and pushed the key into the lock, turning it and pushing the door open. She glanced over her shoulder to find him still parked in her driveway, waiting for her to enter the house. She waved at him just before closing the door behind her. 

She couldn't resisted, looking through the side window and watch him as he finally drove away.

 

Chapter 11 

She turned on the couch, hugging the blanket closer to her curled up form as she rolled over. Her brows wrinkled in protest as suddenly sharp light filtered through her closed eyelids. She blinked a couple of times, running her hand over her face while she tried to focus her gaze on the shadowy shape knelt in front of her.

"Buffy, honey? What are you doing home?"

"Mom?"

"Hey, honey." The soft voice whispered near her ear, before she felt warm lips press against her cheek.

Buffy clumsily propped herself up on her elbows and looked up at the woman now sitting on the couch.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming home for the weekend." Joyce questioned while her eldest daughter sat up straight, her feet lingering on the couch.

She pressed her lips together, opening and closing her dry mouth a couple of times before she spoke:

"I called. You weren't home." Pausing for a second, she stared at her mother before continuing: "Why didn't you tell me you were working extra hours to pay for the hospital bills?"

Joyce's smile crumbled at that and she let out a sigh, diverting her eyes from her daughter before looking back up at her.

"I didn't want you to worry, honey."

"You should have told me. I have the right to know these things. You can't keep protecting me like that. I'm not a kid anymore." Buffy started, trying hard to keep her calm.

Somehow, it always ended up here - her mom not trusting her with the truth, trying to shield her from reality no matter how many times she asked her not to.

"We've talked about this before." She said pressing her fingers against the bridge of her nose as her eyes refused to adjust to the bright light.

"I know. I'm sorry. But everything's fine now."

"Everything's not fine, mom." Buffy snapped for a second, sighing loudly the next and taking a moment to control her growing anger. "It's not fine." She continued with a softer tone. "You're working God knows how many hours. You come home in the middle of the night - on a Saturday! I mean, look at the time." She squinted as she checked her wrist watch. "It's 4 o'clock in the morning, mom. How did you get home, anyway?"

"Someone from the gallery drove me home." Joyce explained.

"You can't keep doing this. After-" She choked a bit as recent memories flooded her drowsy mind. "After what happened to you... you have to take it easy."

"Buffy, the doctor said everything's fine. You don't have to worry."

"Well, I do, alright?!" She raised her tone as the tears started to well up in her eyes. "I do! I worry all the time! Every time the phone rings, every time I come home, every time I walk through *that* door..." Her trembling index finger pointed towards the front door. Gradually, the anger faded from her voice, being replaced by despair and fear. "I think I'm gonna find you lying on this couch a-and..." She inhaled sharply as the words seemed to strangle her. "and-and this time I'm not gonna be able to help you."

Finally, she allowed the tears to thread down her flushed cheeks; her eyebrows coming together over her glassy, bloodshot eyes.

"Oh, honey. Nothing's gonna happen." Joyce assured her soothingly, sliding along the couch to wrap her arms around Buffy's shivering form. "Everything's gonna be fine. I promise you."

She remained cocooned in her mother's embrace until the tears subsided. Slowly, she crawled from between her mother's arms.

"I'm moving back home tomorrow." She announced, sitting up straight once again and brushing the back of her hand over her right cheek.

"What?" Joyce frowned.

"I'm moving back. That way we can save the rent money."

"Buffy, you don't have to do that. I told you I can-"

"No, mom. I'm not gonna have you working overtime just to keep me in that apartment." She insisted, shaking her head.

"Honey, you don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do. And another thing - first thing Monday morning I'm gonna get a job. There's no use in arguing. I'm not gonna change my mind." Buffy guaranteed. "I think I saw an ad at the Expresso Pump for a waitress."

A soft smile spread over her mother's lips, while her hand came to cup Buffy's cheek.

"You're amazing."

The young blonde couldn't help but smile back through the quickly drying tears.

"But you're not moving back." Joyce finished.

"Of course I am. I've-"

"Well, I'm not letting you." Mrs. Summers said simply, standing up and walking towards the kitchen, leaving her astonished daughter sitting on the couch.

"What do you mean you're not letting me?"

"I mean, I'm not letting you move in. You're going to have to set up camp outside if you go through with this." Joyce said matter-of-factly from the kitchen.

"Mom!" Buffy protested, finally following her mother. "I-"

"Buffy, college isn't just about memorizing books and theories. It's about learning how to live on your own; how to make it on your own."

"But, mom-"

"There are not buts, young lady." Joyce cut her off. "I'm very happy and proud that you would sacrifice yourself in the name of our family, honey. I am. But you don't have to move back in."

"Mom, I'm not gonna let you keep working extra hours at the gallery. I'm not!" Buffy maintained.

Joyce dropped her gaze to the floor and inhaled sharply, pausing for a few seconds while she considered the dilemma.

"I think I have a solution." She finally spoke, looking up at her daughter. "You can get a job - one that *does not* interfere with you studies." Joyce pointed out. "It'll actually be good for you." She pondered. "That way you can pay the apartment rent and I won't have to work extra hours. How does that sound?" She offered.

"Mom, it'd be easier if I also moved back in." Buffy tried one last time.

"Nonsense."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Cause I really wouldn't mind moving back in, as long it means I'll get away from Harmony." Buffy stepped back into her routine of complaining about her roommate.

"What did she do this time?" Joyce asked rolling her eyes and smiling.

"I am now convinced that she exists for the soul purpose of making my life a living hell." Buffy continued as she started going through the refrigerator's contents. "Is there something to eat? I'm starving."

~+~

With a deep breath she tied the apron around her waist and walked through the swinging door. Instantly, the loud chattering of college students filled her ears.

It was her fifth hour on the job and she already hated it. She barely had anytime to breathe, she was hungry, her feet were sore and she was tired of being yelled, shushed and actually, once, cursed at for mixing up the orders. When she actually managed to jot down the orders that were thrown at her at the speed of light, she somehow managed to forget the table they were meant for. She also discovered her complete inability to balance a tray and had spilled *very hot* drinks on herself, resulting in three different apron-changes.

Over all, her life was hell on earth.

"Here I go again." She said between clenched teeth.

Not a second went by before a young blonde man sitting at a crowded table signalled her.

'Probably the football team.' She thought, spotting two of the boys in uniform. "Plus half of the cheering squad. Great!" She muttered between clenched teeth when she noticed the two giggling girls that clung to the arms of three of the players.

She quickly made her way towards the testosterone charged table.

"Good afternoon. Welcome to the Expresso Pump. Can I take your order?" She managed to flawlessly say her pre-programmed line, while she took out her pen and pad from the front pocket of her apron.

"Hi." The young man looked up at her and smiled.

Thankfully, the rest of the team seemed to be unaware of her presence. She was so tired of being hit on by moronic jocks.

"I'd like 1 coffee latte shake, 2 expressos, 1 large cappuccino skim milk, 2 large cappuccinos whole milk..."

She scribbled furiously on her pad as the young man went on:

"1 iced coffee, with sugar and 2 mocca coffee, 1 medium, 1 large." He put down the menu and looked up at Buffy.

There was a look of complete despair on her face.

"So..." She started nervously. "That's 1 coffee latte shake, 2 expressos, 1 large... um.... Cappuccino... and..." She looked up from her pad and with a nervous smile blurted out apologetically: "Sorry, you kinda lost me at the first cappuccino."

To her surprise, the blonde smiled understandingly.

"New at the job?" He asked.

"First day. That obvious?" She questioned.

"Not too much."

"Hey, Riley! Quit flirting with the waitress and just get our drinks." One of the jocks shouted grumpily, earning a series of grunt-like giggles from the other members of the team.

"Don't mind them. They're just frustrated that they can't drink any alcohol. We've got a game tomorrow."

Buffy smiled.

Picking up the menu he went through the order once again, this time at a slower pace.

"Got that?"

"Got it. I'll be right back." Buffy grinned and turned on her heels, walking towards the bar.

She repeated the order to the bartender and went back to her other tables.

"Hey, Buffster."

Buffy frowned at the familiar voice, turning to find Anya and Xander sitting at one of her tables.

"Hey, guys. What are you doing here?" She asked with a huge smile, coming up to them.

"Came to see how you were doing. Couldn't miss your first day on the job, could I?" Xander replied.

"Thanks."

"Do you have time to sit down for a sec?"

Buffy looked around and, noticing that the crowd had thinned down, she decided there was no harm in resting for a minute or two. Plus, her feet were killing her.

"God, I'm beat." She sighed, dropping down on the chair next to Xander. "After I leave here I'm going straight to bed. I don't care how bad I smell."

"Well, you kinda smell like greasy coffee." Anya blurted out after sniffing the air.

"Anya!"

"What? She brought it up. I was just being honest." She said in her defence.

In the meantime, Buffy ignored the mini-lover's spout. She was focused on not falling asleep. It was only 7 pm but she was ready to climb into her bed and only wake up the next day. Good thing her shift would be over in one hour.

"So, having a tough time?" Xander asked.

"It's hell." She said with forced cheeriness, but it lasted less than a second. "I mean, have you any idea how many types of coffee they have here?"

"It's a coffee shop." Anya pointed out. "They're supposed to have different types of coffee."

"Well, there are too many." Buffy pouted slouching back on the chair. "What happened to good old plain coffee? I can't believe people can even tell them apart. It's ridiculous."

"Poor Buffster." Xander said sympathetically.

Taking in a deep breath Buffy continued:

"But, enough about me! It'll only serve to depress me. How about you guys? Anything new?"

"Xander and I went to a sex shop and bought-" Anya started to announce.

"Anya!" Xander shouted, jolting upwards in his seat while the blood rushed to his cheeks. "Remember when we said that was our little secret?"

"Sorry."

Buffy managed to spread a smile over her lips. It was impressive just how odd and unaware of basic social conventions Anya was.

"Have you seen Willow? She said she might swing by today or tomorrow."

"We saw her Saturday at the Bronze." Xander explained.

"Willow, at the Bronze? Alone?" Buffy wondered.

"She was with a girl. But we didn't get to met her. We barely had time to say high to Willow. The two were on their way out." Xander continued.

"Yeah, right." Anya muttered, rolling her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Buffy questioned the brunette.

"Nothing." Anya replied innocently. "I guess they were in a hurry." She explained before turning to Xander and whined: "Can we go? We've seen her, she fine."

"We just got here." Xander countered.

"But you promised we'd use the riding gear and you'd wear the fuzzy little horse outfit tonight."

"Oh, my God!" Xander sighed frustrated, dropping his head and covering his face with his hands.

"I-I better get back to work." Buffy half-stuttered, standing up and picking up her tray. "I think one of my orders is ready. Thanks for dropping by though."

"Ok, Buffy. See you." Xander said, getting up; his face still bright red as he followed Anya out of the coffee shop.

"See you." She replied shaking her head and walking back to the bar.

With a sigh she glanced over to the table crowded with jocks and started filling up her tray. 

 

Chapter 12 

She dragged her feet across the threshold, not bothering to turn on the light and moving about in the darkened living room. She let her backpack drop from her shoulder and threw it on the coffee table. Inhaling sharply, she sprawled on the couch, resting her forearm over her closed eyes. 

A frustrated moan escaped her parted lips when the familiar ring tone reached her ears. With some effort she stretched her arm and reached for her backpack, digging her ringing cell-phone out from under her books and her clothes. 

"Hello?" she practically groaned. 

"Buffy? It's Parker." 

"Hey." She was so tired she didn't even bother with hiding it from her tone. 

"Are you ok?" 

"Yeah, just kinda tired." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Uh-huh." She mumbled, fighting to keep her eyes open. 

"You don't sound too good." 

"I know. I got a job waitressing at the Expresso Pump. I just got home." 

"Really? How long have you been working there?" 

"Since Monday." She replied after a small pause. It was getting harder by the minute to stay up. 

"Oh, so that's why you haven't answered my calls." 

There was no reply. 

"Buffy?" He called from the other side of the line. 

"Huh? What?" She was jolted back to reality. "Sorry, what did you say?" 

"I just figured that that's why you haven't answered any of my calls this week." 

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just been kinda hectic this week, with the new job and classes. I'm sorry." She apologized. 

"It's ok. You're forgiven." She heard him say sympathetically. "I was just calling to ask if you wanna go to this party tomorrow." 

"Party?" She mumbled sleepily. 

"Yeah. It's sort of a pre-Halloween party." 

"Pre-Halloween party?" 

"I know." He giggled. "We make up the stupidest reasons to have a party, don't we? So, are you coming?" 

"Um... I really don't know. I've let these reading assignments pile up during the week. I should really focus on them." She said, trying to avoid the night out. She was just too tired to move, let alone dance. 

"Oh, come on. You owe me." He begged over the line. 

"I just..." 

"It'll be fun. I promise and if you want to get home early I'll totally understand. Just give it a chance. Please?" He continued. 

After a long pause she gave in. 

"Ok, I'll go." 

"Great. I'll pick you up at eight?" He asked. 

"Sure." 

"See you then." 

"Bye." 

"Goodnight." 

"Night." She replied, thankful to be hanging up. 

'Finally. Sleep.' Was the last thought to cross her mind. 

~+~ 

They stumbled into the apartment between her hysterical laughs and his bored sighs. With her arms tangled around his neck, she clung to him, burying her face in the collar of his shirt while he was forced to practically drag her across the room. Without warning, she jumped up into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist attacking his mouth. He didn't protest; he was actually glad that her incessant giggling fit had come to a halt, or, at least, was now muffled by his lips. 

His hands came to grab her thighs and bring her closer to him while he staggered along until he hit the back of the couch. She broke off the kiss and trailed her lips down his neck, his head feel back for a second as he tried to block out her high-pitch chuckles. 

One of her hands was snaking under his shirt when he opened his eyes and saw a shadowy figure curled up on the couch. 

"Hey, Harm." He whispered. 

"What?" She mumbled against his collarbone, dragging her nose along his skin. 

"You're roommate's here." He said; his eyes fixed on the small form as the streams of light coming from the partially closed blinds allowed him to see her face more clearly. 

"So what? She's probably asleep by now." Harmony said dismissively, continuing with her task. 

His hand grasped her wrist just as her fingers tried to slip inside his jeans. 

"No. I mean she's right here." He hissed. 

Reluctantly, Harmony looked over her shoulder to find Buffy sleeping on the sofa. With a sigh, she jumped off the back of the couch and, grabbing his hand, proceeded to drag him towards the corridor that lead to the rooms. 

"You're just gonna leave her there?" He said in a low voice, stopping in his tracks. 

"Yeah." Harmony replied with a shrug. "Let's go." She said cheerfully, taking his hand in hers and making her way to her bedroom. 

She was forced to stop when he wouldn't move. 

"You can't leave her there." 

"Why not?" Harmony asked, starting to get frustrated with the conversation that was postponing their bedroom session. 

"She'll... um... She'll... It's cold." He finally blurted with a frown. 

"So what?" 

"So...So she'll catch a cold and...um..." He struggled for a quick answer as she looked at him accusingly. "And then you'll get it and I don't want you to get sick." 

'Stroke of genius.' Spike silently congratulated himself. 

"Oh, blondie bear." She said babyishly, wrapping her arms around his neck and attacking his lips. "You're worried about me?" She asked a little too loudly. 

"Harmony, keep it down, will you?" He grumbled, pulling away from her. 

"You're so sweet." She insisted in using that annoying tone. 

"Yeah, I'm a human-shaped sugary delight." He said dismissively, his eyes on the girl sleeping on the couch. 

She was fast asleep, her hands tucked under her head, her hair still tied in a binding ponytail, even though a few blonde strings managed to elude the elastic band to curl down her neck. 

"And I'm gonna lick you *all* up." She growled naughtily, running her tongue along the side of his face and snapping him out of his daze. "Well, let's get her to bed." Harmony said, marching her way towards the couch. 

His hand was around her arm in a flash. 

"What are you doing?"  

"Waking her up." Harmony said the obvious. 

"You can't wake her up." 

"Huh?" 

"Then she'll start nagging and yapping on and on about the noise." He improvised. 

"Oh." 

"I better carry her into her bedroom." He suggested innocently. 

"Ok." She agreed before leaning in. "I'll go take a shower. Maybe you can join me after?" She muttered mischievously into his ear between giggles before scampering off into the bathroom. 

He was left there in the living room with her, the occasional honk of a passing car being the only thing breaking the silence. The sound coming from the leather as he slipped his hands into the pockets of his duster and made his way around the coffee table filled the room. He squat down in front of her and a smile spread over his lips. Poor thing must have been exhausted juggling school and work. 

Before he knew it, he was brushing away one of the loose strings of hair that fell over her face. Her nose wrinkled a bit and her hand came up to scratch it for a second before hiding back under her cheek. The sound of water running shattered the moment and he went back to his assigned task. 

He carefully snaked his right hand under her neck, resting it against the back of her shoulder. He stopped when he saw her face scrunch up in protest at the imposition. After a few seconds, she relaxed against his arm and he slipped his other hand under her bare knees, lifting her up in one smooth motion. He tried to ignore the pair of tanned thighs that were revealed as the grey skirt hiked up and gathered around her hips. 

He mechanically walked the small distance to her bedroom door, pushing it open and entering. 

Cautiously, he placed her on the mattress, but instead of turning around and leaving, he found himself still crouched in front of her, somehow drawn to her misleading angelic form. She looked so soft and helpless, curled up on her side, still wearing her waitress uniform. There was no trace of the wild creature he had seen the first time they'd met, or of the no less fiery girl he had come to know and quip with afterwards. 

He wondered which side he liked best - the sharp, opinionated version, or the fragile, soft one he was presented with tonight. 

His eyes drifted up and down her body, unconsciously memorizing every slope and every peak. Inevitably, his fingers decided to join in, coming up to graze over her bare arm, down her side, across her hip and finally brushing along her right thigh. 

'So soft.' 

His gaze snapped up to her face when she mumbled something and dragged her face over her pillow as she tried to find a more comfortable position. His hand abandoned her leg and recoiled back, resting on the mattress as he continued to stare intensely. 

The longer he stayed there, the harder it became to deny the strange effect her presence had on him. 

"Spike." 

Suddenly, he was up. He turned around to find a soaked Harmony standing at the foot of the door, wrapped in a towel. 

"There you are. I missed you in-" 

"Shh!" He hissed, quickly closing the distance between them, dragging her into the corridor and closing the door behind him. 

"-the shower. What took you so long?" She wondered in her usual babyish tone. 

Her arms were once again wrapped around his neck and she practically dangled off him. 

During the last few weeks, Harmony had become increasingly exasperating. Her voice was too shrilly and her conversation had grown so boring, it didn't seem worth the trouble. Not even for sex! 

Gradually, even her figure, which was probably the only thing that had drawn him to her in the first place started to annoy him. Suddenly, her hair was too blonde, her shoulders too broad, her chest... God, even her breasts were too big. 'When did breasts get to be too big?' And the weirdest thing was the fact that he was beginning to think she was too tall. Since when didn't he like tall women? Dru was tall and that was one of the things that he loved about her. He always hated the whole 'petit' thing. His women were supposed to be... well, women and not little girls. 

Point was that the woman that was now crawling over his body as he lay on her bed was definitely starting to get on his nerves. So why was he still with her? Instinctively, his eyes diverted to the wall that separated the two bedrooms. His gaze clung to the wall for a few seconds before he shook the frightening thought away. 

"Oh, Spike." Harmony's moan brought him back to reality. 

"Um... Harm." He tried but she seemed too entertained with his bare chest to hear him. 

"Harm." He called out, holding her by her arms and eventually getting her attention. 

She looked up at him with large eyes. 

"Do you mind if we don't... tonight?" He asked. 

"Why?" She whined with a frown. 

"I'm just too tired, I guess." 

'Since when do I get too tired for sex?" 

"Since when do you get too tired for sex?" She sulked. 

"I just am." He said, helping her roll off him and sit up. 

"Are you ok?" He heard her ask. "You're not sick or anything, are you?" 

"What? No. I just don't feel like having sex." 

'I can't believe I just said that.' He thought. 

"Oh." She moped. 

"Harm..." He started, but gave up, standing up. "I better go." 

"You're not staying?" Harmony asked with a hopeful glint in her eyes. 

"I better get home." He replied walking out of the room. "Night, Harm." 

"Night." She mumbled just before she heard the front door open and close. 

~+~ 

She sat on the couch, feet neatly tucked under her with a bowl of cornflakes in her hand while she watched the TV screen. Her spoon froze in the air, halfway to her mouth, when she saw Harmony enter the living room and cross it only to go back into her bedroom the next second. With a sigh, Buffy set the bowl down, slid her feet into her slippers and dragged them to Harmony's bedroom. The door was open and she leaned her shoulder on the threshold and watched as her roommate walked around in circles in the middle the pink room. 

"Ok, what's up?" Buffy asked, causing Harmony to snap her head around and look at her. 

"Nothing." She replied with little conviction. 

"You've gone around the living room and back here eight times in one hour. Something's up." 

It wasn't a very big surprise for Buffy how short lived Harmony's initial reluctance was. 

"He doesn't want me." She cried out, dramatically throwing herself on the bed and covering her head with her hands. 

"He who?" 

"Huh?" Harmony looked up, with growingly red eyes. 

"Who doesn't want you?" Buffy explained, still hesitant to enter the frighteningly pink room. 

"Spiiiike." She sobbed, letting her head fall on the mattress again. 

"Oh." Buffy tried to sound sympathetic. "Why do you think that?" 

Harmony looked up before belching out: "Because he doesn't wanna have sex with me anymooooore."  

"Oh." Buffy's eyes widened. 

'Maybe I shouldn't get into this. The whole roommate bonding thing was a bad idea anyway.' She decided, silently backtracking, but it was too late.

"Last night... *hiccup* we came here and... *sob* we were about to get all hot and wild and..." 

Buffy couldn't help cringing at the mental picture that popped into her head. 

"And then I decided to take a shower while he got you into your room." 

'Oh. So that's how I woke up in my bed. I knew I had fallen asleep on the couch.' Buffy put an end to the doubt that had been nagging her all day. 'Wait a second! Backtrack a bit. Boink-boy carried me into my room?!' 

In the meantime, Harmony continued to sob: 

"And then we were on the bed and I was doing that thing that he likes. You know, nibbling on his nipple." 

"No, I didn't know that." Buffy said, pushing her lips together for a forced smile before muttering: "And I'm pretty sure I was a physiologically healthier human being without that bit of info." 

Harmony, however, ignored her. 

"And then he's all - I don't feel like it today. I'm tiiired." She continued. 

Buffy remained at the threshold, questioning what to do next. This conversation was definitely taking a very bad turn. Her mind raced in search for a sympathetic reply. After a few seconds all it came up with was: 

"Oh." 

"He's never too tired for sex. And I mean NEVER." Harmony emphasized, widening her eyes at the last word and sitting up on the bed. "Even after the fifth time in a row, he's still up for more. I'm the one who has to stop him cause I'm too sore. Remember last week, when I skipped the first couple classes?" She asked before answering herself: "I couldn't walk. We tried this new position where he-" 

"Ok." Buffy raised her hand instantly. "Too much mentally scarring information there, Harmony." 

"Oh. Sorry." Harmony apologized. She paused for a second she wailed loudly: "He want me anymooooore." 

This time Buffy felt compelled to come closer. Awkwardly, she sat on the bed, her hand coming hesitantly to pat Harmony on the back. 

"There, there." She muttered. 

She was about to frown at her choice of words, when suddenly found herself lost in Harmony's crushing embrace. 

"He doesn't want me." The ex-cheerleader's cry came out muffled against the fabric of Buffy's t-shirt. 

In the meantime, Buffy snapped out of her initial shock and put her arms around her convulsing roommate. 

"Of course he wants you." She finally said. 

"No, he doesn't." Harmony insisted. 

"Yes, he does. Maybe he's just... tired." 

At that, Harmony looked up - dark tracks of mascara ran down her cheeks. 

"He's *never* tired." Harmony assured her. 

"Well, maybe he's having trouble... um... getting the machinery to work." Buffy suggested awkwardly. 

"Huh?" 

"You know. He's having trouble saluting." 

The questioning frown remained on Harmony's face. 

Buffy sighed. 'So much for Xander's euphemisms.' 

"Maybe he's having trouble having an erection." 

"Oh!" Harmony muttered. After a few seconds, realisation seemed to set in and she raised both eyebrows. "Oh!" 

"Exactly. Maybe he's having trouble and he's just afraid to admit it." 

"That's not it." Harmony said with a pout. 

"Why not?" Buffy frowned. 

"Trust me, Buffy. That's not it." She insisted with a half-smile that made Buffy's brow furrow even further. But she didn't dare to ask any details. She was pretty sure Harmony would have no problems in providing vivid descriptions. 

"Well, how many times has this happened?" 

"Once." Harmony replied, her lower lips jutting out. 

"Once? He doesn't want to have sex with you once and you start having a wailing fit?!" Buffy asked outraged. 

"Yes." 

"It was just once, Harmony. It's normal not to want to have sex *all* the time." Buffy replied angrily, standing up. 

"Not with Spike. He never-" 

"He's always up for it! I get it!" She cut her off. "He's a sex-addict." Buffy said turning to leave. 

"It's true." Harmony replied to the now empty room. 

"Well, it's not normal." Buffy shouted from the corridor. 

"Of course it is." Harmony shouted back. 

Within seconds Buffy's head popped into the room: 

"Trust me, Harmony. It isn't." 

And then she was gone.

 

Chapter 13

She wrapped the coat around her body before she stepped out of the car and smiled up at him as he held the door open for her.

"This is the place?" She asked as her gaze absorbed the student-packed house.

"Yeah. Cool, huh?" Parker asked locking the car before leading her up the driveway.

She simply nodded and forced another smile onto her face. The truth was she really didn't feel like going to a party. With the week she had had, all she wanted was to lay sprawled on the couch, eating a huge bowl of popcorn and falling asleep to some old movie. Tonight would probably be one of the few nights she'd be able to do that, since Harmony was out and she'd have the whole house to herself.

When the ex-cheerleader had suddenly decided to pack up and spend the rest of the weekend at home, she had been tempted to phone Parker and cancel her date with him. She had actually called him, but he had sounded so excited about the party she just couldn't get the courage to postpone it. So, reluctantly, she went with him and now she was standing in the middle of a packed house, music blazing, much like the last party he had taken her to, waiting for him to bring them something to drink.

She sighed and pressed her lips together as she scanned the room. 'Couple making out... football player chugging down a whole keg of beer... couple making out... guy passed out... couple dry humping... girl passed out with panties showing... Oh, yes and yet another couple dry humping!' She thought. Her eyes widened for a second: 'Um... scratched that. Replace with couple *actually* having sex in a room filled with people.' Shaking her head she turned around to be greeted by a grinning Parker. 'Yep! It's exactly the same party. Right down to crazy-naked-guy-sprawled-on-the-table.' She realised.

"Having fun?" He asked handing her a glass.

"Yeah." She said with forced enthusiasm as she sipped her drink. Her nose wrinkled and her tongue stuck out for a second. "Does this have alcohol?"

"Just a little." Parker answered.

"Sure tastes like it has a lot." She replied over the roaring music.

"Buffy, relax. I'm not gonna get you drunk. I promise." He said.

She smiled and continued to tap her foot to the beat, taking another sip. After a few sips it didn't sting that much.

~+~

She swayed her body to the beat, arms raised in the air, her head tossing from one side to the other, her hair accompanying the motion. Somehow, in the space of... - 'how long has it been since we got here?' She wondered - she had gone from quiet chit-chatting on the couch with Parker to full blown hip-swinging girl on the table.

'Right next to crazy naked guy.' She thought, looking down with a frown.

Narrowing her eyes, she tried to find a familiar face. When she failed to achieve her goal she felt a pang of fear in her chest and her heart started racing. She stopped dancing immediately, turning around and fumbling over which side of the table to use to get down. Just as her stomach started to turn and heart seemed to want to jump out of her mouth she felt a strong hand on her calf. She jumped up and turned to find Parker looking up at her.

"There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

She sighed in relief.

'Thank God.' She thought, kneeling down. Taking his helping hand she was able to get off the table.

"Where were you?" He asked as she flung her arms around him. "I thought I'd lost you back there."

"Thank God, you're here." She breathed, clinging onto him as balance seemed to be a major task at the moment.

"It's ok. Relax. What happened?" He asked.

"I don't know." She replied with a deep frown, finally releasing him from her embrace but keeping her hand on his shoulder for steadiness. "How long have we been here?" She asked, swallowing hard, sitting on a nearby chair.

"About two hours." He replied. "I lost track of you half an hour ago when you went to the bathroom."

"Oh." She mumbled a little nauseated. This whole thing was starting to freak her out.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't think so." She said weakly. "I better go home."

"You sure?"

She nodded.

"Ok. I'll drive you home." He offered sympathetically.

She forced a simile on her face as he helped her up, wrapping her arm around his neck and making their way across the crowded place.

~+~

The drive home helped her get herself back together. Slowly, the ability to focus her eyes on an object seemed to return, along with the talent to articulate full sentences without stuttering or loosing her train of thought. Even bits and pieces of the evening began to flash back into her mind. She remembered sitting by the pool talking to Parker, her legs dangling over the edge, her feet submerged in the cold water.

'I guess that's why my jeans are kinda wet.' She thought. 'Thanks God.' She didn't really wanna think of the alternative explanation she had come up with.

She was pretty sure that she was sober during that time. They had talked about school... and her new job... her mom and his father's death. It had been nice.

'I think.'

She struggled to remember more, but was snapped out of her thoughts when the car door opened and she realised they had come to a stop, right in front of her apartment.

"Thanks." She breathed, stepping out of the car with his aid. "I think I'm able to walk again." She joked releasing his hand.

"Are you sure?"

"U-huh." She nodded.

They stood in front of her door, an uncomfortable silence settling between them, until he broke it.

"Well, I better-"

"Do you want to come up?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

He chuckled at the awkward moment but nodded. She smiled, reaching for the keys and opening the door. The two stepped inside and called the elevator.

As they entered the apartment, she turned on the lights and tossed the keys onto the kitchen counter.

"Do you want something to drink?" She asked while her mind wondered just what the hell she was doing.

"What do you have?"

She opened the refrigerator.

"Milk.... Apple juice..." She responded automatically while her brain continued to ponder the situation she found herself in.

A part of her pulled her back, begging her to just say her goodnights and go to bed... alone, but the other... It had been so long since she'd had somebody - four long months, three of which anguishing over her mother's well being. Now that she thought about it, it was probably the tumour that took her mind off her own emotions. While she worried over her mother she didn't have time. All she thought about was taking her mother in and out of hospitals, taking care of Dawn, cleaning the house, making sure that dinner was ready. She had a heavy routine that kept her busy. Not that she wasn't busy now. She had work and school to worry about, but it was nothing compared to that hellish summer. That hellish summer that kept her safe from her own needs. But now...

"Apple juice sounds good."

Parker's reply brought her back to reality.

"Apple juice it is." She said picking up the container. "Damn."

"What?"

"We're out of apple juice." She said waiving the container in the air. "Sorry. Harmony has the habit of drinking the juice and leaving the container in the fridge. I hate that." She growled, throwing the carton in the garbage.

"It's ok. I'm not thirsty." He replied with a smile.

There was the silence again - the God awful, chest tightening silence.

"Wanna watch TV?" She blurted.

"Sure."

The two moved over to the couch and she turned on the TV set, handing him the remote, while she picked up the TV guide.

"I'll see if there are any good movies tonight."

He nodded and his eyes went back to the flickering screen.

As she turned the pages she heard her mind ask once again what she was doing. She didn't know. She was on auto-pilot, she guessed.

Parker was nice, and funny. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes. 'And sweet.' She added in her thoughts.

Truth was she was tired of being alone. Tired of pining over... She shook her head as her mind strayed to dangerous territory. She couldn't think of Angel. Not now. It still hurt and all she wanted was to forget and get on with her life. She just wanted to go on and maybe Parker would help her do that.

She was tired of always rationalizing everything, of keeping everyone at bay, thinking she was keeping herself safe when in reality all she was doing was isolating herself.

She flipped the pages and thought of Xander and Anya. They seemed so happy together. Always fighting and making up, but always there for one another. She wanted that, she needed to have that... again. And maybe Parker was the one who was going to give her that much needed complicity.

Sure, they were still a little uneasy with each other, there were still those awkward moments of silence, but that was normal, right? They still didn't know each other all that well.

"Find anything?" He asked.

"Huh? Oh! No, nothing yet." She shook her head, burying her gaze between the pages of the TV guide.

She felt so confused and the alcohol still making its way through her system wasn't helping at all. She wasn't drunk anymore, but she still felt kinda... light-headed.

A voice in her mind screamed at her to just push him away, like it always did with every man that tried to get close. She pushed it back, setting the TV guide on the table.

"They're showing Casablanca on channel 6." She replied, sitting back.

"Casablanca it is." He smiled changing the channel.

The two sat still, waiting for the movie to come on.

Buffy's mind raced as she slowly, inched her body closer to his. She was about to set her hand on his thigh when she suddenly stood up, causing Parker to jump up a bit.

"I'll make some popcorn." She announced, nervously making her way into the kitchen.

'What am I doing? What am I doing?' She asked herself over and over again as she automatically went over the process of making microwave popcorn. 'I'm being free. That's what I'm doing. I'm in college now, I shouldn't be afraid of this. It's normal. Sex is normal. It's not such a huge deal. I have the right to have fun and not feel guilty or afraid.' She rationalized when her heart started to gallop.

In a few minutes she was back on the couch, bowl of popcorn in hand. She rested the bowl on her lap and they stared at the screen as the movie came on.

Her eyes were focused on the flickering images, but she didn't see or hear anything, as the mental discussion continued.

'Just do it already.' She ordered herself. 'Just do it. This is not wrong. It's not wrong.'

Gradually, she coached herself into a semi-relaxed state of mind and her hand came to rest on his knee. She felt the muscle tighten underneath and he turned to look at her. She forced a nervous smile on her face while he simply looked at her.

'Do it.'

Before her mind could finish issuing the order, her lips were pressed against his. It was an awkward kiss that seemed to take him a little off guard.

'That was nice.' She told herself, even though in the back of her mind she still wondered where the butterflies were.

She didn't remember ever having kissed a boy and not having her stomach turn in that frighteningly delicious way. Well, except for Mathew Sternberg in the fifth grade. But he was just disgusting and it had been a dare. With Angel, every single kiss had left her breathless and giggling hysterically inside, no matter how innocent the kiss.

Before she could finish her mental dissertation, Parker was kissing her again. His hand was hooked under her left ear bringing her mouth closer to his.

'Better.' She tried to persuade herself as she parted her lips and deepened the kiss, bringing her body closer to his.

Soon, she was straddling his lap, his hands at her hips, hers slipping under his shirt.

"Are you sure?" He asked, pulling away from her for a second.

'No.'

"Yes." She breathed, leaning in to kiss him again.

They moved against each other, her fingers weaved into his hair while his worked on the buttons of her shirt, dismissing it to the floor once it came undone and concentrating on her tanktop. It didn't stay on her body for too long though, it took only a couple of minutes for the top, along with his own shirt and belt to be flipped over the back of the couch.

Buffy felt a slight knot in her throat as he buried his face between her breasts; nibbling at the tender flesh there, while his hands worked on undoing her bra.

She froze when she heard the clasp snap open. He didn't seem to realise the way her body had suddenly tensed up, but as she brought her arms against her sides, not allowing him to slide the bra off her he stopped and looked up at her.

"Is everything ok?" He asked.

She hesitated and eventually stuttered:

"Yeah, e-everything's fine."

"If you want to stop, it's ok." He assured her.

She smiled, feeling a little relieved.

"I don't want to stop." She breathed. "Can we just go to my bedroom?"

"Sure." He smiled as she stood up, holding the bra against her chest with one hand and holding the other one out to him.

He took it and the two walked towards the corridor, leaving the discarded clothes and flickering TV behind.

 

Chapter 14

Buffy gasped as they toppled onto the bed and Parker's weight collapsed onto hers. Her eyes were closed, her mouth partially open while his lips trailed down the column of her neck.

She seemed to go through the motions almost automatically. Her fingers glided over his bare shoulders, giving him the chance to pull the bra off her and within a second his lips were on her breast. Exhaling, she kept her eyes closed, slowly letting go as the smell of alcohol coming from her own body seemed to strangely sooth her.

As she rolled her head, her dishevelled hair brushed against her nose adding the sharp scent cigarettes into the mix and suddenly she felt the fear and hesitation wash away being replaced by heat and hunger for the unseen body hovering over her.

With a clouded mind, she partially opened her eyes and gazed at the head working on her chest, but instead of finding dark brown hair her hazy gaze found thick blonde locks. She frowned at that, blinking a couple of times and soon the platinum was replaced by brown just as Parker looked up:

"You ok?" He asked.

With her eyebrows still furrowed she nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She replied, swallowing hard as she watched Parker return to his task.

She closed her eyes again, forcing herself to relax and tried to erase the incident from her mind. It was probably the alcohol playing tricks on her brain. She sighed as she felt one hand worrying her nipple while the other descended to the buttons of her jeans.

The lust inside her grew as the scent of cigarettes and alcohol was intensified by her closed eyes. She let herself get lost in the feeling and soon she had Parker on his back, attacking his lips while her now bare legs straddled his waist - two pairs of underwear being the only things separating them.

She felt the body underneath her freeze, but she paid no attention to it, continuing her task as a distant voice penetrated her hazy brain.

"Buffy..."

Instead of Parker's voice, a thicker, sultrier one was heard and it just served to fuel her lust. Her hand snaked between the two and reached for his crotch.

"Buffy..."

She moaned against his skin.

"Buffy!"

At that she jumped. Her eyes snapping open to find Parker under her.

"Someone's here." The boy whispered.

She frowned.

"No. Harmony's at her parents for the weekend."

"Well, I just heard someone open a door."

"That can't-"

She stopped in mid sentence as she heard keys jingle followed by complete silence as the TV was turned off.

"Harmony?"

"You better check it out." He whispered.

She nodded and stood up. Suddenly, embarrassment flooded her mind and one of her hands flew to cover her bare chest while the other reached for the robe that was flung over the chair.

"I-I'll be right back." She replied, putting on the robe and tying it around her waist.

She carefully walked barefoot across the corridor, brushing her hair down and behind her ears. She hesitantly stepped into the living room to find a duster-clad Spike holding her tank top by one of its strings.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with almost instant annoyance.

He seemed a little startled at first, turning to look at her. They fixed each other's gaze for a few seconds before he dangled the tank top from his finger and disdainfully dropped it back on the floor.

"So Mr. Sensitivity finally wormed his way between your legs, huh?" He asked, narrowing his eyes and putting on a sneer.

She was shocked by his harsh bluntness at first. She tried to ignore the embarrassment that caused the blood to rush to her cheeks and calmly repeated:

"What are you doing here?"

He stared at her for an extra second, pushing his lips together, emphasizing his sharp bone structure as he began to walk around the couch:

"Came to see Harm. She in her room?" He said nonchalantly.

"No." She answered stepping in front of him and blocking his path towards her roommate's bedroom.

Tilting his head he looked down at her.

"Well, someone's been out on the piss."

"What?"

"You stink of cheap liquor, luv." He explained.

Buffy instinctively recoiled at that, dropping her gaze.

"That how he got you to give it up? Getting you sloshed? Shame." He tsked shaking his head. "Thought he'd come up with something a tad less pathetic than that. Maybe play the 'I'm an emotional wreck and you're the only one who understands me. Now can we please shag' card." Dropping his shoulder and sighing he mumbled: "Well, I guess you were more desperate than I thought."

She seemed frozen to the floor, just standing there as he walked past her, letting his words sink in.

"She's not here, so you can just leave." She suddenly spoke, turning on her heels. She swallowed hard as she felt the bile crawl up to her throat. She wouldn't sink to his level.

"Not home?" He asked, turning to face her.

"No. She went home for the weekend." She walked over to the front door as she spoke, opening it. "So you can leave."

He took his time making his way towards her. But instead of exiting the apartment he stopped in front of her.

"She didn't tell me she was going home for the weekend."

"Well, she did. Now please-"

"You have any idea why she decided to up and leave?" He cut her off.

"I have no idea. Now please leave." She growled as she watched a smirk tugging at his lips.

"That anxious to get back to loverboy?" One scarred eyebrow rose high on his forehead. "Is he actually good in the sack or are you just that needy?"

'Ok, that's it. To hell with taking the high road.'

"You know what? Come to think about it, she did mention something about not *getting* what she needed here." Buffy's gaze suggestively dropped to his crotch. Spike's brows furrowed at that. "She thought she might *get it* somewhere else." A malicious smile spread over her lips when she finished her sentence; her hand abandoning the doorknob so she could cross her arms in triumph.

His eyes narrowed dangerously at her, but she held her chin up high.

"I knew you were nothing but a spoiled little girl Summers, but I never thought you'd be stupid enough to fall for that idiot's tricks." He hissed after a few seconds.

"Yeah?! Well, at least I'm getting some, which is more than I can say about poor Harmony." She snapped.

Maybe it was the rage blinding her, or maybe he was just that fast, because the next thing she knew the front door was slammed shut and she was pressed up against it; angry blue eyes staring back at her from only a few inches away. The sound of the door banging seemed to perpetuate in the sudden silence that took over the room.

"You are..." He spoke slowly, his voice low and raw. "... the single..." He tone rose as each word came out. "...most aggravating-"

"A-and you're the rudest, most annoying-" Buffy spoke up with equal fervour from her claustrophobic position.

"...obnoxious..."

"...irritating..."

"...insufferable..."

"...primitive..."

Their voices rose as they spat out insults in each other's faces.

"...spoiled little brat..."

"...pathetic excuse for a bad boy."

"... that I've ever met." He finished.

"I hate you!" She growled, breathless, staring him right in the face.

"Oh, believe me." He hissed "It's mutual."

They remained silent for a few seconds, the sound of them both pulling harsh breaths in and out of their lungs being the only thing disturbing the stillness. And then suddenly, his mouth was on hers, his body slammed against hers, roughly pressing her against the wood.

She was stunned for a second but her body quickly seemed go on autopilot as her lips parted, letting his tongue push inside to deepen the kiss.

He moved erratically, tilting his head sideways, pushing against her, attacking her mouth while his hands possessively held her hips towards his.

Her mind was a bundle of jumbled thoughts, shouting at her to stop, telling her that it was wrong, asking her to think about Harmony. But her body had a different opinion. Her stomach turned quickly, her heart raced at a frightening pace, her lungs stung with the need for air but she didn't seem to remember how to breathe.

Their tongues battled feverously, pushing against one another, mimicking their bodies. Muffled gasps and stifled moans reached Buffy's ears when she suddenly lost all contact with him. Her eyes snapped open to find a winded Spike pulling harsh breaths into his lungs.

She watched as his left hand ran through his hair before coming back to rest over his lips. As she stared into his eyes she could pinpoint the exact moment in which the confusion and raw emotions were completely engulfed by the rational side of his mind. He stood up straight.

"Sorry." Was the only word he mumbled, opening the door and causing her to stumble forward as he left the apartment.

Buffy was left standing there, still a little breathless, her gaze blindly staring at the closed door.

'What was that?' Her mind asked.

After a few seconds she managed to snap out of it, but she was still a bit dazed. Her fingers curled against the edges of her robe, pulling it tighter around herself while she stumbled her way towards the couch. She sat down and pulled her legs against her chest, resting her chin on her knees. She remained in that position for a long time. How long she couldn't tell.

~+~

"Buffy..."

She furrowed her brow at the sound of her name and the feel of a hand on her shoulder, lightly shaking her into awareness.

"Buffy..."

With some effort she opened her eyes. The harsh light coming from the ceiling stung and she was forced to blink a couple of times before she was able to identify the shadowy figure knelt before her.

"Parker? What are you doing here?" She opened and closed her dry mouth a couple of times as she sat up.

"I should be asking you that. You came out here to check on the noise and never came back."

Strong hands gripped her hips while a hungry tongue pushed inside her mouth.

She felt a pang in her chest at the flashing memory.

"Oh... right. How long was I gone?" She asked, brushing her hair into place and glancing at the half naked boy crotched before her. He was shirtless, wearing only his jeans and shoes.

"About an hour. I was getting worried." Parker replied.

"Sorry." She breathed sleepily.

"It's ok. So, who was it?" Parker asked.

His body was pressed hard against hers, his leg pushing between hers.

"Buffy?"

She shook her head and snapped her unfocussed gaze back to him.

"It was a friend of Harmony's." She replied, trying hard not to remember the kiss.

"And she had the key?"

"What?"

"The key. We heard someone come in." Parker explained.

"Right." She nodded. For some reason his questions were really starting to annoy the hell out of her. "Look, Parker, I'm really tired can we just talk some other time?" She said a little too harshly.

"Oh!" He said surprised. After a few seconds Parker's lips pushed together for a pathetic attempt at a smile. "Sure. I-I'll just get dressed."

She watched as he walked around the couch and picked up his clothes.

"I'm really sorry." She finally spoke as guilt started creeping in.

"It's ok." He replied unconvincingly.

She sighed and stood up when he was fully dressed.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise." She assured him as she walked over to the front door. "I'm just really tired."

"I understand." He mumbled sadly, standing at the entrance to the apartment. "Night."

He leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. His hand wrapped around her waist in an attempt to deepen it, but she awkwardly pulled away.

"Night." She replied in a low voice, closing the door. 

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