Fanfiction



Description: A/U college fiction. Buffy moves far away to join her boyfriend William aka "Spike" at college. Things are going wonderfully for the couple and their tight nit group of friends when tragedy strikes. I'm not going to lie, this is going to be a pretty angsty story. However, I can promise that it will have a happy ending, and that's all I'm going to say.

Disclaimer: All characters relating to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. This story is written for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. In other words I am nothing, I own nothing, I have nothing...Please don't sue me :-)

 

Chapter 6


Mourning


"So, how do you think Buffy's doing?” Xander asked hesitantly.

"I'm not sure. She still won't talk about it much.” Willow answered as they lugged the last of her belongings into the dorm. Willow had decided that since Tara had moved home for a little while, and she couldn't really afford their apartment by herself she would move into the dorms with Buffy. Truthfully, Willow didn't want to leave Buffy there by herself.

"Well, I'm sure with you here, she'll start to perk up.” Xander gave the redhead a reassuring smile. They reached room 120, and Willow slowly opened the door. They found Buffy sitting at her desk scribbling furiously in one of her notebooks.

"Damn it!" The blonde exclaimed as her number two pencil snapped in half. "Stupid cheap ass-"

"Hey Buffy,” Willow cried almost too cheerfully, startling Buffy.

"Oh God, you guys," she gasped grasping her chest. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in.” Buffy smiled sheepishly as she held up the mutilated pencil. "Guess I got a little carried away with this advanced calculus stuff."

"I'll say," Xander snickered as he dropped Willow's things on her desk. "Pencils of the world, beware."

"I'm never going to get all this crap finished,” Buffy whined.

"Still doing make up work?” Willow asked sympathetically.

"Of course." Buffy answered. She had missed a week and a half of classes and it seemed as if she had a month’s worth of work to catch up on, not to mention all of her current studies. "I'm drowning in a sea of numbers," Buffy huffed, exasperated.

"Well I have just the cure for that,” Xander spoke up.

"And that would be?” Buffy asked hesitantly.

"Trivia Night at the Taco Stand,” Xander said with a pride. "Chock full of alcoholic goodness and quite the learning experience," he added holding up his index finger to accentuate his point.

"Oh yeah, come on Buffy it'll be fun!” Willow chimed in. "It'll do you some good to get out of this stuffy dorm for a little while."

Buffy hesitated for a moment looking from one friend to the other. "I don't think so guys," she sighed. "I've got all this work to do."

"It's Saturday Buff. You've got all day tomorrow to worry about school work, come on it'll be fun.” Xander pleaded.

"I just don't think I'm up for it.” Buffy was beginning to get frustrated with his persuasion.

"Well get up for it! Buffy, you can't hide away in here forever.”

"Xander!" Willow exclaimed, surprised by her friend’s vehemence.

"No, Willow this needs to be said.” Xander looked at her in earnest. "Buffy I know you miss Spike. I miss him too, but it's been two weeks since the funeral, and you've barely left this room except to go to class. You have to keep on living, Buffy."

"Xander I really don't need to hear this right now.” Buffy implored, bringing her hands up to cover her face. "Please just don't."

Xander expression softened as did his tone when he noticed the exhaustion in Buffy's voice. "I'm sorry Buffy," he conceded. "We're all still really stressed out and you know how my foot loves to live in my mouth."

Buffy brought her hands down until they only cupped over her mouth as if she were physically trying to hold it shut. She could only nod in reply.

"Well I'm going to take off.” Xander moved towards the door, waving goodbye to Willow as he reached for the knob. "You two lovely ladies know where to find me if you need anything. Let me know if you change your mind about tonight.” With that, Xander stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"Are you okay?” Willow asked, throwing a sympathetic arm around her friend.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "I think I think I need some fresh air though," she stepped quickly away from Willow's arm and grabbed her notebook and book bag from her desk.

"Okay," Willow whispered. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'm just going to take my homework with me and see what I can get done.” Buffy smiled stuffing her notebook into her bag. "I won't be gone very long."

"Okay.” Willow waved as Buffy stepped out of the room.

Buffy sat on a bench on North Campus staring off into a distant nowhere. She held her notebook in her hands, however, her wandering mind prevented her from actually studying. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there; all she could see or hear were memories from that fateful night. "You have to talk to me, please don't shut me out,” She begged, her own tears threatening to fall. "You mean like you've shut me out these past two months?” William replied in an accusatory tone....Are you ashamed of me, Buffy?...If it's not that big of a deal, then why are you sorry?"..."Buffy watch the road.” Her mind wandered back to the dream that she'd had in the hospital. William's voice sounded so close to her, so real. "No sweet, just come with me. Please stay with me.” The desperation in his tone was heartbreaking. "I'll be here forever sweet, that's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.”

"It's my fault," Buffy whispered to herself as she could feel the tears begin to prick her eyes.

"Buffy?” A strange voice called from behind her. Buffy turned around to face the owner of the voice. He was tall and stocky with brownish blonde hair. He wore a grin that Buffy could only describe as home grown, and Buffy realized that she had never seen this person before in her life. "Buffy Summers, right?” he asked again.

"I'm sorry," she replied looking quizzically at him. "Do I know you?"

"Not exactly,” he smiled again. "My name is Riley, Riley Finn."

"Hi," Buffy smiled uncertainly still not sure how this complete stranger knew who she was.

"I've been meaning to find you ever since the funeral."

Buffy flinched at the mention of William's funeral. "Oh, I see. We're you one of Spike's fraternity brothers?” she asked him sadly.

"Uh, no," Riley admitted awkwardly. "Actually, I was the guy driving the other car that night.” He suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. He wasn't sure how she was going to react to him once he revealed himself.

Buffy’s friendly expression hardened into a cold, impassive stare. "I see," was the only reply that she could come up with.

"I did go to the funeral once I heard about William's...passing," he stammered. "I wanted to pay my respects. I saw you there and you looked so heartbroken, kinda like the way you do now." He tried to smile at her but the blank expression on her face prevented him from doing so. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and-"

"I'm sorry, Riley but I can't do this right now." With that, Buffy jumped off of the bench allowing her notebook to fall to the ground at her feet. "I've gotta go." She abruptly walked away from him, not bothering to stop to pick up her fallen notebook.

"Stupid!" Riley exclaimed, slapping the front of his head. He noticed that she had left something behind and bent quickly to scoop it up. The notebook was still open to the page that Buffy had left it on and he could see the likeness of a man staring back at him from the pages. Beneath the chiseled face etched on the paper was the name "William".

Buffy headed to her bed the minute she reached her room. Not bothering to divest herself of her clothes or shoes, she collapsed onto her bed. She reached a shaky hand under her pillow and grabbed a black t-shirt from underneath.. She wrapped the worn material around her hands and brought it quickly to her nose and inhaled deeply. The scent was slowly starting to fade but she could still make out the faint aroma. Polo Sport, leather and tobacco. Buffy didn't know that it was possible to feel so comforted yet hurt so badly all at the same time. She laid in silence holding the shirt to her face until she drifted into a deep sleep.

Buffy awoke to the sound of a loud tapping on her door. The shirt that she had clung to was now draped over one side of the bed threatening to flutter to the floor below. Buffy grabbed it quickly and stuffed it back under her pillow as the tapping continued.

"I'm coming, damn it!" she exclaimed to the intruder. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and climbed down from the loft. Buffy ran her fingers through her golden locks to make sure she didn't have funny bed hair, and the obnoxious visitor tapped even more loudly on the door. Buffy's frustration grew as she reached for the doorknob and flung it open. Frustration melted away to surprise as she saw who was standing in her doorway. "Riley."

"Hey again," He flashed her his good-boy smile again.

"I'm really not trying to be rude, but how did you know where I live?” Buffy asked, growing suspicious of him. He sheepishly held out her notebook which had her address scribbled on the inside of the front cover. "Oh, thanks," she gave him a half smile as she took the book from him.

"Thought you might need that for class."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Notes might help."

Riley smiled still standing in the hallway leaning against her doorframe. "You're a pretty good artist."

"What?” Buffy asked.

"When I picked up your notebook it was open, I couldn't help but notice. There's a portrait that you drew on the last full page. It's really good."

Buffy opened the notebook to see what he was talking about. Sure enough there it was. She was staring at a likeness of William sketched on her college ruled spiral notebook. She didn't remember drawing it, but she had been really out of it this afternoon.. "Thanks," was all she could gather for a reply.

"Well, it's late so I think I'm going to take off.” Riley started to leave but turned quickly to say, "Buffy I really am sorry for your loss. If there's anything I can do-"

"Thanks.” Buffy smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

Riley nodded in reply and turned to walk down the hallway to the exit. Buffy closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment clutching notebook that was still open to the picture of William. She walked over to her desk and carefully ripped the picture from its spiral hold. She then walked over to her closet and grabbed a box from the top shelf. Buffy rummaged through it for a moment until she found what she was looking for: an antique brass frame. She lifted the back of the frame carefully, and situated the drawing into the glass. When she had secured the picture she set it gingerly on the night table facing her bed. "This way I can still see your face when I wake up in the morning.” Buffy said, kissing her fingertips and touching them to William's face. She was still staring at the picture when another knock came. Who in the hell? Buffy thought to herself. Realizing that Riley had probably come back to try to offer her more comfort she yelled through the door. "Riley, really I appreciate the effort and I accept your apology, but I just want to be alone right now okay?” Buffy paused, listening to the silence outside her door. Thank you, she thought to herself as she began to prepare to return to her bed. She was climbing back into the loft when the knocking came back. "God damn it! Persistent much?" Buffy cursed as she climbed back down the ladder. She was grumbling profanities as she fumbled with the lock and doorknob, fully intending on giving the person on the other side of the door a good tongue-lashing. "Riley are you thick headed? I told you I just‑” Buffy was stunned into silence when she opened the door. She was sure the color was drained completely from her face when she saw who was on the other side: William. There he was, right in front of her. This wasn't a dream, she wasn't sleep walking, was she? The room began to spin as she reached for him. She could feel the cool leather of his jacket slip through her fingers as she struggled to hold herself up.

"Buffy, Love?” His beautiful, accented voice filled her ears as her knees quickly turned to putty.

That was the last thing Buffy heard before she was shrouded in darkness.




Chapter 7

What Dreams May Come


“Buffy?” Xander leaned over his friend with a concernedly. “Buffy, are you okay?” He and Anya had gone for take out and had come home to find his friend unconscious on the floor, the door to her room wide open.

“X-Xander?” Buffy whispered as she slowly started to come to.

“Yeah,” Xander smiled. “Are you okay? What do you remember?”

“Wh-where…” Buffy trailed off.

“You’re in your room,” Xander interrupted trying to alleviate her confusion. “Anya and I came home and found you here. Don’t try to move a whole lot yet, we’re not sure if you hit your‑”

“No!” Buffy cut him off. “Where is William?” Buffy sat up quickly and looked around frantically.

“Buffy, it’s okay,” Xander put a hand on her shoulder trying to comfort his friend. “You’re at home, with your friends.”

“No you don’t understand,” Buffy tried to explain. “William was here. Not ‘here’ like in here,” she said pointing to her head. “But he was here, like here in the dorm. He knocked on my door, and when I answered it he was standing there. I touched him, and then…” she trailed off.

“And then?” Xander probed.

“And then I guess I fainted.”

Xander sighed. “Okay, let’s get you off of the floor and into the bed.” Xander stood up and extended his hand to Buffy.

She took his hand reluctantly as she studied his face. “You don’t believe me?” Buffy asked.

Xander looked at his friend affectionately. “I believe that you’ve really been through hell in the past couple of months,” he said as he gently lifted her up, allowing her to lean on him. “I believe that you’re grieving and when you’re grieving sometimes you‑”

“No!” Buffy exclaimed. “Xander I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t sleepwalking or any of the other crap that you’re trying to use to explain it. William was here. You don’t get it, I didn’t just touch him, and I felt him.” Buffy touched her hand to her heart to emphasize her point.

“Buffy, you’ve got to snap out of this,” Xander reasoned. “Spike is dead, you were there. We buried him. I’m sorry; I really am because I know that you’re hurting but‑”

“You don’t understand.” Buffy repeated hoarsely, tears welling up in her eyes. “He was here, Xander it was so real.” At that, Buffy broke down as sobs wracked her body.

“Hey guys,” Willow called, as she walked into the room tentatively, putting her book bag down on the floor. “What’s going on?”

“Buffy fainted,” Xander began. “We came home and found her laying on the floor. The door was wide open‑”

“S-Spike, was here.” Buffy sobbed. “I-I saw him and then I f-fainted, a-and no one b-believes me.”

“Oh Buffy.” Willow exclaimed. She ran to her friend and enveloped her in a tight embrace. “Shh, sweetie it’s okay.” She rested her chin on top of Buffy’s head as she stroked her hair. Sensing the tension in the room Willow turned to Xander. “It’s okay Xan, I’ll take it from here. Where did Anya go?”

“She went to the lounge to get some ice. We didn’t know if she hit her head or‑”

“Well, go find her and tell her that Buffy’s going to be okay,” Willow interjected. “I’m going to make her some tea and get her into bed.”

“Okay,” Xander said sheepishly. “Buffy I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?”

Buffy could only nod through her sobs. Xander turned on his heels and stepped out of the room closing the door quietly behind him.

“Okay,” Willow said calmly. “I’m going to heat up some tea really quick. Why don’t you change into your pajamas and then we’ll have a little girl time?”

Buffy wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve as she slowly stood up. “Girl time sounds good,” she sniffled and gave her roommate a watery smile. She grabbed her nightshirt off of the back of her desk chair and disappeared into the bathroom. She stopped at the sink and turned on the valve and began to splash her face allowing the cool water to soothe her nerves. She dried her face with the hem of her sweatshirt and looked dazedly at her reflection. She looked older. The lines on her face were more defined and she had small circles under her eyes. What the hell is wrong with me? She asked her double. Xander’s right, you’ve got to snap out of this. Buffy took a deep breath and quickly changed her clothes. She opened the door to the bathroom and heard the shrill “DING” from the microwave. Willow gave her roommate a tight smile.

“Nothing says loving like microwave chamomile tea.” She poured the water from the bowl that she had used to heat it into a coffee mug, plopped a tea bag into the water and handed it to Buffy.

“Thanks.” Buffy smiled.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Willow asked sitting down in her chair.

“I don’t know what happened Will,” Buffy sighed. “There was a knock on the door, I answered it and I know that it sounds crazy, but when I opened the door it was William. He was standing there as plain as I’m sitting here talking to you. I touched him, he said my name, and that’s the last thing that I remember.”

Willow nodded her head as she listened. “Do you think that you were dreaming, sleepwalking?”

“I don’t think so,” Buffy replied. “Not five minutes before, this guy, Riley stopped by to drop off my notebook. I hadn’t even gotten back into bed and look: the notebook is here so‑”

“Wait a minute,” Willow interrupted. “Riley was here? Riley Finn?” Buffy nodded in reply. “Buffy when did you meet him?”

“Today,” Buffy sighed. “He came up to me while I was on North Campus.”

“Did he tell you who he was?” Willow asked.

“Yeah, he did.” Buffy could feel her tears welling up again as she spoke. “He told me that he was the one that…” Buffy trailed off and had to inhale deeply before she continued. “That hit us that night. He started talking about how sorry he was and mentioned being at the funeral. I kinda bailed on him and dropped my notebook. He got address off of the front cover and brought it by. About five minutes after he dropped the notebook off there was another knock on the door. I answered it, and it was William.”

Willow shook her head in a mixture of disbelief and amazement. “Buffy that’s‑”

“I know what you’re going to say. It’s impossible. But it was William. It wasn’t a dream. I could feel him Willow,” Buffy tried desperately to plead her case.

Willow sighed. “I believe you Buffy.” Willow looked at her friend worriedly. “I think that you need to get some sleep. Tomorrow, why don’t we try to call your mom? You haven’t talked to her since before the funeral.”

“Thank you for listening Will.” Buffy squeezed her best friend’s hand. “You never stop coming through.”

Willow smiled affectionately at her friend. “Get some sleep,” she insisted as she helped Buffy up into the loft. Once Buffy was settled into bed, as Willow reached over to turn off Buffy’s bedside lamp she noticed the framed drawing that sat next to the lamp. She picked up the frame and smiled sadly when she noticed the likeness of Spike. Willow set the picture down and turned off the light, retreating to the bathroom to prepare for bed.

* * *

Buffy sat quietly on the same bench that she always used when she studied on North Campus. She held her drawing of William in her lap and softly stroked the lines of his face.

“What are you doing here luv?”

She heard his voice and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I was waiting for you.”

“You know you don’t belong here.” William walked closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

“I belong wherever you are,” Buffy told him taking his hand.

“Luv, you can’t stay here.” He began to take his hand off of her shoulder as he said this and her grip on him tightened.

“No, William please,” she begged, tears threatening to fall. “Please don’t leave me.”

Buffy could feel his breath on her neck as he whispered in her ear. “Come with me.”

“Why don’t you stay with me?” she asked desperately.

“Come with me, luv, you can’t stay here.” William continued to hold her shoulder.

“I’m scared,” Buffy admitted in a shaky voice.

William was silent for a moment and Buffy tried to turn so she could face him but he held her firmly in place. The hand on her shoulder was the only evidence that he was still there. She felt him lean in closer to her as he whispered briskly in her ear.

“You should be.”

Buffy’s eyes grew wide. Then she looked at the glass of the picture frame that she still clutched tightly in her hand. Blood, William’s blood. “Oh my god,” she breathed. “William you’re bleeding.” His grip on her shoulder loosened and she was able to turn and face him. “William?” she called out, but he was gone. “William?” Buffy cried out more desperately as she stood and searched for him. “Oh God,” she whimpered as she sank back onto the bench. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as the ornate frame that held William’s picture slipped from her grasp and shattered onto the hard floor.


Buffy woke with a start, the noise of the shattered glass still in her ear. “Willow?” Buffy called out to her roommate. “Are you here?” Her only answer was the silence of her empty room. “Guess not,” Buffy replied to herself, climbing out of her bed. She reached the floor and started to head to the bathroom for her morning shower. She stopped suddenly when a shooting pain ran up her leg. Buffy lifted her foot to find the source of the pain. Glass? Buffy thought to herself. Upon further inspection she noticed that the floor was littered with broken shards of glass.

“What the‑ ?” Buffy bent down to begin cleaning up the mess when she noticed where the glass had come from. There on the floor was her shattered picture frame. The image of William that it held was now covered in blood. “Oh my God!” Buffy screamed. “Somebody please help me!”

 

 

Chapter 8

Signs


Buffy stumbled out into the hallway sobbing and screaming uncontrollably. “Please someone, Please help me,” she cried as she fell in a heap to the floor. Doors were beginning to open as her neighbors emerged from their rooms to observe the commotion. Buffy felt someone try to lift her from her place on the floor.

“Buffy?”

She looked up and saw Xander standing over her. He was giving her the same concerned look that her had given her every day since the accident and it only made Buffy cry harder.

“Buffy, what happened?” Xander was now leaning down in front of her attempting to cradle her in his arms. She could feel him put his arms around her and frantically began to push him away. “Buffy it’s okay!” Xander exclaimed as he grabbed one of her flailing limbs to stop them from connecting with his face. “Buffy look at me. It’s me, Xander, you’re safe.” She let his words of comfort wash over her and slowly began to calm down.

“Xander?” Buffy asked as she slowly began to come to. Her voice was hoarse from crying and her eyes were watery from unshed tears. Buffy realized that she was sitting outside her room on floor of the hallway and more importantly that every resident of her dormitory was now staring at her as if she had lost her mind. She looked toward the still open door of her room and began to remember why she had fled.

“Jeez Buff, what happened?”

Buffy’s only response was to raise a shaky hand and point to the open door. Xander looked in the direction in which she pointed and continued to question her.

“What is it Buffy? Is it Willow?”

Buffy shook her head and continued to point. Xander stood slowly and turned to Anya who was standing just inside their room directly across the hall. “Stay with her,” he instructed and nodded towards Buffy. Anya quickly took Xander’s place kneeling in front of her and watched as her boyfriend slowly started into Buffy and Willow’s room.

“I’m worried about you,” she said quietly as she took Buffy’s hand in hers.

“Uh Buffy,” Xander called from inside the room. “Could you uh, come in here really quick?”

Anya stood first and helped Buffy to her feet allowing the petite blonde to lean on her as they headed back into her room. Buffy paused just inside the doorframe, afraid to step the rest of the way in.

“It’s okay,” Anya tried to reassure her. “You’re not alone, Buffy.”

Buffy stepped into the room. The light from the hallway was illuminating enough so she could see around the room fairly easily. Buffy’s mouth hung open as realization started to set in.

“So…what exactly happened in here?” Xander asked extending his arms.

“W-well,” Buffy began. “I was dreaming and when I woke up…”

“You were dreaming?” Xander interrupted. “Buffy were you having a nightmare?”

“N-not really,” Buff stammered trying to explain. “More like a ‘creepy-give-me-the-wiggins’ kinda dream. William was there and he was being really big with the cryptic. He was hurt in the dream and wouldn’t let me look at him. Right before I woke up I dropped a picture frame and it shattered. Well, when I got out of bed there was glass all over the floor and the picture was soaked in blood.”

“You mean this picture?” Xander asked picking up the still framed drawing from its place on the nightstand.

“Xander…”

“Look around you Buffy, there’s no glass. There’s no blood.” Xander again raised his arms and gestured around the room to emphasize his point. “You were having a dream. It’s understandable, you’ve been through hell the past couple of months, but that’s all that it was.”

“Yes,” Buffy persisted. “I was having a dream. But I woke up. I know that I woke up and I know what I saw. You want proof,” Buffy asked. “ Here.” She lifted her foot to show the small, now closed cut on her toe. “How do you explain that?”

“Buffy you could have gotten that anywhere,” Xander sighed.

“Maybe you should talk to someone?” Anya suggested.

“Someone?” Buffy questioned.

“You know someone that could help you- you know, sort through the grief,” Anya continued.

“I so do not need to talk to a shrink.” Buffy replied, getting agitated.

“Oh, not a shrink,” Anya countered, completely unaware of the uncomfortable situation. “Just someone. There are peer councilors on campus that will listen to you talk about anything. I remember when Xander was having trouble- you know, performing, he went-”

“Anya!” Xander interjected.

“What?” Anya turned to him and watched as her boyfriend stared wide-eyed at her and started to shake his head in a disapproving way. She quickly got the hint and turned to Buffy smiled sheepishly. “You’re fine,” she concluded airily.

“Thanks for the reassurance,” Buffy replied, in a deadpan voice. “I don’t need to talk to anyone. I know what I saw.”

“Buffy-”

“No Xander,” Buffy interrupted him. “It was real. Something is happening to me. I don’t know what but things haven’t been right since- since the accident, and it’s not just because of William. It’s more than that…” Buffy trailed off and began to look around the room again. “Where’s Willow?”

“Haven’t seen her,” Xander answered. “Did she come home last night?”

“Yeah, we talked right before I fell asleep and she was here.”

“Did she have a test today? You know how Willow likes to hit the library before a big test; maybe she pulled an all-nighter and didn’t want to disturb you,” Anya suggested.

“I don’t know,” Buffy admitted. “Maybe…she didn’t say anything about a test last night.” Buffy sighed suddenly feeling very tired.

“I’m sure that’s what it is.” Xander said. “You look whipped Buff, why don’t you lie down and try to get some sleep? Take a day off today, clear your head.”

“Yes,” Anya agreed. “I can swing by your classes and explain what’s going on to your professors. I’m sure they’d be willing to hand over any assignments that you miss.”

“Thanks guys,” Buffy smiled weakly. “I think that I will lie down for a little while and try to catch up on some sleep. If you guys see Willow, could you tell her that I need to talk to her?”

“Sure thing Buff,” Xander smiled. “Get some rest.” With that, Xander embraced the diminutive blonde and placed a quick kiss on the top of her head.

Buffy smiled weakly at the couple as she shut her door and quickly locked it. She turned and rested her back against the door and sighed. “What the hell is wrong with me?” Buffy whispered as she ran a tired hand through her hair.

***

Buffy sat at her desk, history book in hand trying to really study for the fist time in what felt like forever. Her mind kept wandering and she found herself glancing at her alarm clock every so often to check the time. Three-thirty, and still no Willow, she thought.

Buffy had wracked her brain for the duration of the afternoon trying to remember if she had said anything the previous night that would have caused Willow to leave. She honestly couldn’t think of anything. Willow was often busy and on the go, but it wasn’t like her to just disappear for an entire day. Frustrated, Buffy closed her book, and stood from her chair. “I so need to get out of here,” she said to herself as she gathered her jacket and keys and quickly left the room.

An hour later Buffy found herself wandering aimlessly around North Campus, pausing every so often to study her surroundings, searching for Willow. Buffy came to a stop in front of the North Campus fountain and took a seat on one of the benches there. Suddenly Buffy heard a slight whisper make its way to her ear.

“There are signs everywhere.”

Buffy turned suddenly and had to shield her eyes from the sun to be able to see the source of the whisper. He was extremely tall and very well built. His features were dark and overpowering. His looks intimidated her and she gulped before finally acknowledging him. “E-excuse me?” she stuttered.

“There are signs everywhere,” he repeated and stepped closer to her to allow his back to shield her from the sun’s rays.

Once her eyes adjusted, she was able to see him more clearly, and she noticed his attire immediately. He was dressed in long black slacks with a black button up shirt and she noted the white collar around his neck indicating his calling as a priest.

“You look lost,” he continued seeing her confused look. “There are signs everywhere to help you on your way.”

Buffy nodded in acknowledgement and he took the opportunity to seat himself next to her on the bench. Buffy looked away from him and stared blankly at the water from the fountain.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, feeling her apprehension.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.” Buffy replied, still not making eye contact with him.

“Liam, Liam Angelus but most people call me Angel.”

“Hmph,” Buffy laughed. “A priest named Angel, that’s-” Buffy trailed off when she realized he wasn’t laughing at her joke, “not funny at all.”

“I can see how it would be funny,” he said with a serious expression.
“I’m Father Angel.” Then a grin broke across his face and Buffy could tell that he was making fun of her.

She smiled genuinely at him. It was the first smile that had graced her lips in what felt like forever. “Sorry,” Buffy apologized. “I really wasn’t trying to get smart, I just- I’m- I’m not-” Buffy stammered, trying to make the words come out.

“Yes?” he probed sensing the tension in her voice.

“I’m not very religious. Not at all in fact. I’m sort of a lapsed Catholic,” Buffy admitted sheepishly.

“I think that all Catholics are lapsed at one point or another, so there’s no harm in that. I’m not here to judge. There’s no manual that says you have to attend Sunday Mass every week before I can lend a compassionate ear to an obviously troubled young lady,” he assured her to set her mind at ease.

“How do you know that I’m troubled?” Buffy asked.

“I told you, you look lost.”

Buffy sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat before she could continue. “I feel lost,” she answered, her voice thick with emotion.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked her again, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Buffy spent the next twenty minutes telling Angel all about what the past few months had been like for her. She told him of her decision to move in with William, the decision to hide the fact they were living together, how she’d lied to William, how he’d found out, the accident, and William’s death. Angel listened with an impassive expression while she told her tale.

“It’s been a few weeks since the funeral, and I keep having these...dreams.” Buffy explained. “They get more and more vivid, and sometimes when I wake up I would swear that they were real. My friends are starting to think that I’m going crazy.”

Angel sighed before he responded. “Buffy, you’ve been through more these past few months than most people go through in a year’s time. It’s understandable for you to still grieve. I think that these dreams that you’re having is just another way of trying to cope with what you’ve been through, so that you can move on.”

“I know that this sounds strange Father-”

“Please,” he interrupted. “Call me Angel.”

Buffy smiled at him, “Okay, Angel, I know that this sounds strange, but I don’t think that William is gone. This may make me sound crazy, but sometimes I can still...I can feel him, and it throws me.”

“I don’t think that sounds strange,” Angel replied.

“You don’t?”

“No, I think that it’s very possible that William could still be here, watching over you.”

“You don’t think that I’m crazy?” Buffy questioned.

“No I don’t.” he answered matter-of-factly. “I think William is still trying to tie up loose ends here. It’s not uncommon with most cases such as yours. He still feels he has some pressing matter to attend to and will not move on until that matter is addressed.”

“What do you think William’s pressing matter is?” Buffy asked curiously.

“Honestly?” Angel asked looking into her eyes. Buffy nodded for him to continue. “I think he’s still trying to save you.”

***

The sky was beginning to darken as Buffy returned to her room. She had spent hours talking to Angel and surprisingly felt much better than she had when she left.

“Willow?” Buffy called as she stepped into the room. “Are you here?” Buffy shrugged and wondered aloud “Where the hell is she?” She was just about to retreat to the bathroom for a quick shower when she heard a knock at her door. When she answered it she was surprised at who she saw.

“Riley,” Buffy exclaimed. “What a surprise.”

“I know I should have called first,” Riley fidgeted showing his nervousness around her. “I just wanted to check and see how you were. You seemed pretty upset the other day.”

“Yeah,” Buffy sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry if I was rude to you the other day. I was in a really bad mood and it was just one of those days.”

Riley quickly put a hand up to stop her apology. “No need to apologize,” he told her. “I totally understand. It was wrong for me to just come up to you like that. I shouldn’t have-”

“No, no,” she interrupted. “It was a very nice gesture.”

He smiled at her reassuring words and then asked, “What are you doing right now?”

“Nothing,” she answered. “Just waiting for Willow to get home; haven’t seen her much today.”

“Well would you like to go get something to eat with me?”

“Uh...”Buffy trailed off not knowing what to say exactly.

Riley could sense her apprehension and quickly added, “No pressure, you don’t have to. I just thought that-”

“No,” she interrupted, “it’s not that. It’s just that...I’m not...I don’t think that I’m ready for...”

“It’s just dinner Buffy.” Riley answered trying to get her to relax. “It doesn’t have to be anymore than that. I’ll even let you pay if you want.” Riley flashed her his best All-American grin.

“Well since you put it that way,” Buffy replied sarcastically. “I am really hungry, I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat today.” She paused for a moment before turning to grab her purse and said, “Let’s go.” Riley held the door open for her as she walked out of her room.

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