Sightseeing tour
Her kitten heels clacked
rhythmically on the well polished floor as Buffy made her way to the security
guards lunchroom. She was well rested, in a good mood after spending the
weekend with Dawn, and determined to make the most of her morning. She usually
avoided the guards' lunchroom because of the slight tension between her and her
employees, but she wanted to say hello to Giles, and that's where Harmony said
she'd find him.
She composed her best
"friendly boss" face, then walked in. Giles was sitting at a table, reading a
news paper, while two of the guys where getting coffee from the vending
machine. The two guards saw her, then walked out of the room. They brushed past
her without as much as a look. They were obviously still not forgiving her for
suspending Jake and Devon. Well, if they wanted to blame her for doing her job,
too bad. They'd just have to get used to working for a warden who wasn't corrupt.
Giles looked up from his
reading and smiled.
"Looky, I walk in and
the place clears up. Am I the most popular girl in the building or what?" she
sat in front of him.
"Blubbering idiots they
all are. Don't pay attention."
Buffy tilted her head to
observe Giles, an amused grin forming on her lips. "You look tired Giles. Didn't
sleep well this weekend? Tell me, how was that date with Anya?"
She laughed when he
blushed. He took off his glasses, a nervous habit she'd noticed he had.
"It went--rather well, I
must say."
"I still can't believe
you let her chose where you guys were going. I'm impressed, Giles. Knowing the
girl, I'd say that was really daring of you. Where did she take you anyway? A
strip club?"
He put his glasses back
on his nose and tried to look dignified despite what he was about to say. "To
a--wrestling show."
Buffy went hysterical. She
laughed so hard that tears were running down her face. She finally managed to
calm down. "Please, tell me you're kidding?"
"Surprisingly, I'm not. But
I must say that after two or three lagers, I did enjoy myself. And it turned
out that watching sweaty barbarian looking men rolling around on the ring
together, puts Anya in a really good mood."
"Hence the dark circles
under your eyes?"
"Precisely."
Buffy cracked up again,
incapable of keeping serious. "Oh God, that's too good! Well at least one of us
is getting some action."
Giles turned even more
red at her comment.
"Yes, well, when you're
done laughing at my expense..." His words were scolding her, but he couldn't hold
back the happy grin that was lighting up his face.
"Sorry, Giles." Buffy
took a deep breath. "I'm calm now, promise." She got up. "Other than to tease
you, there's actually a reason why I'm here. My friend Cordelia is coming here
this afternoon and I'd like to take her for a tour of the place. She'll be here
around 1:30. Could you have an escort ready for us? I'll need maybe two
guards--no, make it three. Cordelia is kinda hot."
Giles chuckled. "That's
not a problem, Buffy. I'll have Faith, Ron and Dave to come with you. Faith is
starting her shift at 1pm so I'll just keep her around until then, and I'll
make sure the other two will be available In time."
"That's cool. Faith
isn't too much of a bitch when you get to know her. And Ron and Dave--they're
the nice ones, right?"
"Yes, they are. They
like you so I'll feel better knowing you're with them. I would go, but I have
to train a new guy this afternoon. Perhaps I could call him to reschedule if
you'd prefer."
"No, don't worry. That
won't be necessary. We'll be all right. I'll call you when my friend gets
here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy was sitting
comfortably on her couch with her shoes off, trying to concentrate on a file. She
had to attend the parole board in the afternoon to study a case and having
nothing else to do until Cordelia got there, she decided to take a look at it. She
was starting to get bored when harmony walked in.
"Ms. Chase-Harris is
here. Can I bring her in?"
Buffy looked between
Cordelia who had already walked in, and Harmony who seemed to be waiting for an
answer. "She's... already in, Harm. But--huh--thanks anyway. That'd be
all."
"All right then. If you
need anything, I'll be at my desk."
"That's--great. I'll
make sure to call you."
Harmony closed the door,
leaving the two girls alone.
"Ok. What's with the
poodle?"
"She made an attempt at
curling her hair this morning. I think she didn't get the result she was hoping
for."
"I wasn't talking about
the hair, I was talking about the IQ. But thanks for answering my next
question."
"Harm is harmless." They
both giggled at how funny that sounded. "You get used to her after a while. She's
actually quite entertaining. If I'm down, or just plain bored, I go and try to
have a conversation with her for five minutes. I always come back to my office
feeling so much better."
"You don't say." Cordelia
laughed. "Speaking of office..."
The brunette gave her
surroundings an appreciative look. "Quite posh if I can say so myself. Not
crazy about the sky blue of the walls though. I'd suggest a light green. Green
goes well with your complexion so you'd look stunning sitting in that big
leather chair of yours. Oh, and I have this great painting at home that would
look awesome on this wall over there. And..."
"Cordy!" Buffy
interrupted her, clearly amused. "My office is your canvas, oh great master of
everything pretty and tasteful. Do whatever you want with it."
"Really? Cause this
place has huge potential. I could go nuts in here."
"Go nuts, have fun."
"Awesome! I'll come back
maybe next week or the one after if work permits. You won't recognize the
place. You won't want to leave work anymore. It's gonna be fabulous. It's gonna
be..."
"Is that Chinese food in
your bag?"
Cordelia opened her eyes
wide, not sure what Buffy was talking about, then looked down at the bag she
was holding. "Oh. Yes. Yes, it's food. Let's eat."
Buffy smiled and shook
her head. Her friend was so enthusiastic whenever decoration or fashion was
concerned that she could talk about it for hours and lose track of what was
going on around her.
They set up the food on
the coffee table and sat down to enjoy it. Buffy fought Cordelia for the
pineapple chicken and won. She started eating voraciously.
"Oh God, this is soooo
good. I was starving."
Cordelia pouted. "You
better leave some of that chicken for me, you ogre, or else your office will
stay the way it Is."
Buffy rolled her eyes
and handed her the chicken container then took a bite off a spring roll. "So,
how's my little cutie pie going?"
"I'm doing great."
"Not you doofus. Camille."
"Relentlessly asking
about you." Cordelia said with a heavy sigh. She mimicked a high pitched voice,
trying to imitate her daughter. "Mooommy? When are we gonna see auntie Buffy? Huh?
When? Is auntie Buffy coming to see us? How many nightie nights before we visit
auntie Buffy moooommy? I miss her!"
"Awww! Poor Cam. She's
so used to having me over at your place almost everyday, it must be hard for
her to understand. I'll visit soon, I promise. Maybe I could take her with me
for the weekend. Give you and Xander some quality alone time."
"That'd be great. She
misses her godmother and I miss Xander." Cordy frowned lightly. "He works like
crazy and is tired all the time. Forget about his husband duties, he's way too
exhausted for that."
"You mean the cleaning
and the cooking?" Buffy asked, innocently.
"Ha, ha, funny. I'm horny as hell. He started last night,
and fell asleep on top of me. I should have gone with my first idea and go on
top. Do you have any idea how heavy a construction worker can be? Anyway, I had
to finish the job myself. Damn, I'm actually looking forward to seeing a couple
of rugged, prisoners. Can we stop by the work out area and look at the hot
sweaty ones?" She batted her eyelashes at Buffy. "Please?"
Buffy chuckled and
shoved a piece of chicken in her mouth. "Whatever you want, Cor. But I'm
telling Xander you said that."
"Don't you dare!"
They both laughed and
finished their lunch, just enjoying each other's company. Then Buffy called
Giles and he sent the guards to Buffy's office.
There was a knock on the
door.
"Come in."
A tall, tough looking
brunette in uniform walked through the door, followed by two other guards.
"Yo boss, how's it
going?"
"I'm cool, Faith. How
are you?"
"Bitchin'." She cracked
her knuckles, making Cordelia wince. "Ready to whack some prison boys upside
the head if they come anywhere near one of you girls."
Cordelia gave Buffy a
look, but the warden just shrugged. The two other guys chuckled and snorted when
they saw the shocked look on Cordy's face.
"Don't worry about
Faith, ma'am," the tallest one said "she's not dangerous. Well... unless you're a
con an you're not behaving."
"Yeah, I can be quite
the bitch. A girl's gotta earn some respect around here if she wants to
survive. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?"
They all left the
office. Cordelia elbowed Buffy and whispered in her ear. "What's the deal with
that girl? Does she get testosterone shots or does prison do that to all women
who work here for too long? Are you gonna turn like that?"
"That's just the way
Faith is. But I kinda like her. She looks after me and isn't afraid to stand up
for me. I appreciate that. I wasn't so sure about having a female guard at
first, but she really can hold her own. She has quite the reputation and the
prisoners respect her."
"No kidding. They're
probably scared of her."
Cordelia had never been
in a prison so Buffy showed her everything, explaining what was what and
introducing her to people. They reached the open space that was the work out
area Cordy had been asking about earlier.
"Wanted sweaty men?" Buffy
whispered in Cordelia's ear. "Here they are."
"I think I specified hot
sweaty men."
"Well, if you're gonna
be difficult..."
Buffy spotted Spike. He
was lying on the bench press, shirtless, sweat making his muscular torso look
sleek and well defined. Faith noticed him too.
"Damn that's a fine
piece of man. The things I would do to that guy if I had the chance..." The
brunette said under her breath.
Buffy turned sharply to
look at her, barely controlling the urge to tell her to back off. She managed
to give her a tight smile.
"A wise woman once told
me 'don't ogle prisoners'." Cordelia gave Buffy a questioning look but the
blonde girl merely smiled. "I think that was one great piece of advice that you
should follow too.. For your own good I mean."
"Hey boss, don't worry,
just looking. That job can be a drag sometimes if you don't have yourself a
little look once in a while, don't you think?"
She winked at Buffy, not
noticing how the blonde girl gritted her teeth.
The group started to
walk out of the room but Buffy stopped them.
"Wait for me outside,
I'll be right there."
"Want me to stay with
you, B?"
"No, Faith, I'll only be
a second."
They all walked away,
and Buffy made her way to the other end of the room, pretending to have to
check on something. She made sure to say a word to two or three guys on the way
so it wouldn't look too strange when she'd talk to Spike. When she came back,
she stopped by where he was sitting on the bench press. He had been looking at
her.
Buffy made sure to keep
a neutral expression not to attract any unwanted attention.
"Just so we're clear..." She
said in a voice low enough that nobody else would hear, "I haven't been avoiding
you. I just haven't found a good reason to justify seeing you yet."
His lips didn't smile,
but his eyes did. He just nodded, realizing that it would look suspicious if
they seemed too friendly. She walked away. She could almost feel his eyes on
her as she left the room.
She joined the others
who were waiting for her outside.
"All taken care off." She
said with a bright smile. "Let's go now."
Cordelia kept giving her
sideway glances as they walked, but Buffy ignored her. They passed through
security and the two of them went back to Buffy's office.
"So..." Cordelia started,
her voice dragging. "I can see what the fuss was all about."
Buffy looked up, her
eyes full of incomprehension. "Fuss?"
"Bleached blonde, blue
eyes, pouty lips, body to die for, smoking hot... staring at you with puppy dog
eyes. That's the guy, right?"
Buffy turned bright red.
"No idea what you're talking about."
"Liar. I'm sure he was
the one you were talking about the other day."
"Oh. Him? I don't know. Was
he in there? I didn't notice."
"Yeah right. If YOU
haven't noticed, just call me Sister Cordelia and spank me. I saw the way you
snapped at Faith in there for making that comment."
"I did not!"
"Sure you did. You're
lucky she probably assumed it's because you don't want your employees to have
too much fun with the prisoners. Why did you go back in there by the way?"
"Nothing. I just--wanted
to check something."
"Sure you didn't go back
to compliment Adonis on his toned body?"
"You're such a freak,
Cord. We're not all like you, you know." Buffy pouted exaggeratedly and
silently hoped that Cordelia would let it go.
Cordelia laughed. "Oh
come on. Stop blushing like a school girl. Nobody can blame you for drooling
over that guy. He made me want to stay in prison for Christ sake. Too bad you
can't have him though. That's a real shame cause the way he was looking at
you..."
"He was probably looking
at me the way a prisoner looks at his warden: with contempt and hatred."
Cordelia just rolled her
eyes. "Whatever you say, blondie." She grabbed her purse and started making her
way to the door. "I have a couple of potential clients to meet in town this
afternoon, but I'll meet you at your place later. What time will you be out of
here?"
"6ish."
"I'll stop by the
grocery store and buy stuff we can cook on the grill outside."
"Sounds like a plan to
me. Do you need someone to escort you out?"
"I'll be fine." Cordelia
said, blowing her a kiss. "See you later."
Buffy felt almost
relieved when her friend left. She had felt so guilty for not telling her the
truth about Spike. But Cordelia would have screamed and call her a dumb ass,
then she would have spent the next two hours telling her all the reasons why
kissing Spike had been a bad idea. And how wanting to see him again was an even
worst idea. She didn't feel like hearing that right now, didn't want someone to
try to convince her that what she was doing was stupid. She knew it was. She
just didn't care so much anymore. She wanted that guy more than she'd ever want
anything in her life and the last thing she wanted to do was being reasonable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy got back to her
office after her session at the parole board. The parole had been denied, and
the guy didn't take it well. She was exhausted. She was tidying up her desk and
getting ready to leave when the door opened and a smirking Spike was roughly
pushed inside by Giles.
"What's going on?" She
asked, surprised. Her eyes kept darting between Spike who had a smug look on
his face, and Giles who looked pissed beyond the telling of it. "What did he
do?"
"You heard the lady,
Spike. Why don't you explain to her what you did?"
"I walked up to Parker
and broke his nose. Or at least, it sounded like it broke. Can't be too sure
though."
Conveniently, someone
called Giles on his walkie talkie. The timing couldn't have been better.
"I'm sorry. I'll be
right back." He walked out, closing the door behind him.
"What the Hell did you
do that for?" Buffy got up and walked around her desk to face Spike. He had
instantly dropped the though guy attitude he was putting on for Giles' benefit
and now looked like the man she had kissed a week ago.
He shrugged. "You said
you hadn't been able to come up with a reason to see me yet. So I gave you
one."
Buffy couldn't help the
smile that was tugging at her lips. "And why Parker?"
Spike smiled back at
her. "You can never go wrong with Parker. He always deserves a good punch in
the nose. I'm sure he did something bad today. I just don't happen to know
exactly what it is."
Her grin grew wider. "You're
impossible."
"Yeah. I know."
They looked into each
other's eyes for a few moments until Buffy finally said "Oh fuck it!" and
crossed the few steps that were still separating them.
Their lips met for a
passionate kiss. His bound hands automatically came up to cup her face. That
was the best he could do with the handcuffs around his wrists.
Buffy was scared of
getting caught, but that only made it taste better. There was some desperation
behind the act, but also tenderness and all kinds of emotions that couldn't be
described. They tried to take whatever they could from each other in the little
time they were allowed. The kiss only lasted a couple of minutes, and it wasn't
enough, but they both knew they had to end it soon. They let their tongues duel
for a few moments, both reluctant to stop even though they knew they should. It
was too good to give it up, but they finally pulled apart. As soon as they did,
they missed the other's taste but there was nothing they could do about it. Giles
would come back soon.
Her forehead still
touching his, Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep shaky breath to try to
regain her senses.
"Next time, I'll make
sure to tell Giles I need time alone with you to give you a long speech on how
to behave correctly in a prison. And I'll lock the door."
"Yes. That'd be best. I
wish I could have time to just sit with you for a while and find out more about
you, pet."
"Me too. This situation
sucks beyond words."
"I thought..." He
hesitated, looking embarrassed at his own insecurities. "I thought you'd
changed your mind and didn't want to see me again. Decided I wasn't worth the
trouble. I was going crazy. It's been the longest bloody week of my life."
"I know. I missed you,
but I didn't know what to do. I spent the week fighting with myself about how
wrong this is. And even if I wanted to see you, I just couldn't find a way. I'll
try being more clever from now on so it doesn't take as long."
Spike smirked. "You
better. I can't go around punching people for no reasons all the time."
Buffy frowned. "You know
I'll have to do something about this now, right? If I just let it slide, people
will start asking questions."
"I know, luv, but it was
worth it. Just send me to the hole for a couple of days, I don't mind one bit. I'll
use the peace and quiet to replay that kiss in my mind. Besides, my cellmate
snores so it'll be good to spend a few nights alone without the little rat."
Buffy heard someone
behind the door and took two quick steps back to put a decent distance between
Spike and her.
Giles walked in.
"Sorry about that,
Buffy. There was an emergency."
"Anything I should worry
about?"
"No. Nothing like that. It
was a false alarm."
"All right." Buffy
nodded toward Spike. "Take him to the hole for a good two days. He obviously
can't be around people. It might do him some good to be isolated for a while."
Giles took Spike's arm
and guided him out of the office. Spike turned his head to look at Buffy one
last time. She mouthed the word "sorry" and he gave her a quick smile before
disappearing into the hallway.
She sighed and hung her
head.
"Was that William Rayne
I just saw walking out of your office?"
Buffy looked up. Willow
was standing in her doorway.
"Hi Will. Yes, it was
Spike. Why?"
"Nothing. It's just that
this boy gives me the hardest time whenever we have a session together."
Buffy looked surprised. "Really?
I've never had a problem with him. Other prisoners have problems with him,
obviously, since he was in my office, but he's always been really nice and
respectful to me."
She went to sit at her
desk and invited Willow to take a seat too.
"I'm not saying he's
mean or rude or anything. But he's... Difficult."
"What do you mean?"
Buffy was starting to
worry. **What is it? Does he have a split personality or something and I was
too naïve and blinded by his hotness to see it?**
"I'm really good at what
I do, or at least, I like to think so." Willow explained. "And yet, I've never
been able to get a word out of him. He's the absolute master of answering a
question with a question, changing the subject, or distracting me until I
forget what question I asked. He won't say a word about himself, no matter what
I try."
"I don't know what to
say, Will. That just doesn't sound like the guy I met."
"I tried something
different the other day. I tried having a conversation with him about trivial
stuff. He was a completely different person. He sounded very well educated,
smart, funny, almost outgoing. Then I asked him something personal, and he shut
down like a clam."
Buffy breathed a sigh of
relief. She had been worried for a second that Willow would tell her Spike was
a psychopath. But he probably just didn't want to tell the criminologist about
his private life and his past.
"He probably just has a
hard time opening up to people, is all."
"But you said he wasn't
like that with you."
"I don't know what to
tell you, Will. He did tell me a little bit about his past, but that doesn't
mean we have a special connection or anything. He was probably just in a good
mood that day..."
The redhead's face lit
up. "Do you think you could sit in with us tomorrow? I have a session with him
in the afternoon. It would be great to have a second opinion."
Buffy thought about it. First,
that would get Spike out of the hole for an hour, second, she'd get to see him
twice in twenty four hours. And as a bonus, she'd get to know a little more
about him.
"Sure." She answered with
her brightest smile. "Not a problem at all. Tell me what time, and I'll be
there."
Couch confessions
The man who walked into
Willow's office was not the man Buffy knew, or thought she knew. He had a smug
smile on his face and an arrogant swagger to his step. Despite the handcuffs on
his wrists, he walked in like he owned the place. He slouched on the chair in
front of the two women, legs spread wide in a defiant manner.
Buffy wasn't duped by
the mask though. She had worn it quite a few times in the past when confronted
to a situation she wasn't sure she could handle, not wanting to show her
weakness and vulnerability. It was fairly obvious to her what Spike was doing.
Willow had arranged
three chairs on the other side of her desk so they would be facing each other
in a more intimate way, instead of having the huge wooden desk separating them.
She had been hoping the friendlier settings would prompt Spike to open up to
them. It was now painfully clear that her tactic wouldn't work.
Spike raised a cocky
eyebrow at the criminologist, barely sparing Buffy a glance. "Long time no see,
pet. I was starting to think you don't like me very much. Bloody hurt my
feelings, it did."
"Hello William. How are
you doing?" Willow asked, ignoring his sarcastic comment.
"Right then," He said
without answering her. "Are we done with the niceties and all that rubbish? Can
I go now?"
Spike's attitude and the
hostility he was projecting was bothering Buffy more than she'd like. He wasn't
acknowledging her, choosing to focus on Willow instead. Willow who was now
giving Buffy a look that clearly said: "See what I meant?!"
"No. Not yet." The
redhead answered him. She was trying her best to look professional and in
control of the situation, but she was quickly losing the fight under Spike's
intense stare. "I was hoping we could have a talk."
Spike tilted his head
toward Buffy, but his eyes never left Willow. "Ganging up on me now? Why are
you so determined to get me to 'talk' anyway, Red? You're making us both waste
precious time. I was perfectly happy in my hole, staring at the bleeding wall
and day dreaming about nice things."
"We are not ganging up
on you, William..."
"It's Spike. You know
that."
Willow ignored the
comment and kept talking. "Ms. Summers will be sitting in, not participating. And
this is not a waste of your time or my time. These evaluations are necessary,
and I think talking to someone else about you and your past could help you deal
with..."
"Don't need your bloody
help, all right? I'm dealing with my problems on my own. I don't need someone
who doesn't give a bleedin' damn about me to pretend to care. So if we're about
done here, ducks, you can have the guards escort me back to isolation." Spike
started getting up from the chair.
"Sit. Down." Buffy held
his eyes for a few stretching moments.
Willow was clutching her
clip board, looking somewhat uncomfortable at the sudden tension in the room. Something
was happening between the two blondes now engaged in a staring contest. She
couldn't tell what it was, but she was getting the definite feeling that she
didn't belong in the room with them.
You could hear the
seconds ticking away on the office's clock, the only thing breaking the heavy
silence.
Spike slowly sat back
down, his stormy eyes never leaving Buffy's.
Not looking away either,
Buffy addressed Willow in a tone that didn't give her any option but to obey. "Willow,
could you leave us for a little while. Go grab a cup of coffee or something. Come
back in about half an hour."
Willow merely nodded, and
after handing Buffy her little digital voice recorder, she left the room
without a word.
Buffy turned the thing
off and put it on the desk behind her. Willow would have to live without
hearing the conversation that was soon to follow. She pulled her chair up until
she was sitting knee to knee with Spike.
She waited a few more
seconds before finally speaking. "I don't understand what the Hell got into
you. Why are you acting this way?"
"What? Can you really
blame me for refusing to spill my guts in front of someone who gives bugger all
about me? Someone who will study my case as if I were some kind of lab rat? I'm
sorry if I disappoint, but I usually chose who I want to talk to."
He was right, she
couldn't blame him. She understood what he meant, and when she spoke again, she
wasn't as angry anymore. "Spike, you didn't even give her a chance. I know how
you feel, but Willow is a nice, caring person. And she's really good at her
job. She could help you, you know."
Spike laughed, but it
was a humorless sound.
"No one can help me,
Buffy."
"Have you so little
faith left in people that you can't believe someone might actually want to help
you?"
She couldn't speak for
Willow, but she knew she wanted to help him... More than he'd ever know. But he
wasn't in the mood to hear that right then.
"And have you
conveniently forgotten that I'm in here for life? Cause I haven't." He said,
his voice laced with bitterness. "I was there when the judge sentenced me to
prison for life with no chance of parole. Not the sort of thing you forget
easily, pet."
"Spike..."
"So what is Red gonna do
exactly that could possibly help me? I'll tell her 'I didn't do it', she'll
write on her little clip board somewhere between all the doodles she must be
doing while pretending to listen: 'delusional' or maybe even 'pathological
liar'--then what?.. I'll tell you what. Nothing. Because there is nothing she
can do, or will do for me."
"You still need to talk
to someone, Spike."
"I don't see why." He
said stubbornly.
"All the bad things that
happened--if you keep it all to yourself, it will drive you mad."
He looked away. "I
know."
Buffy waited a moment,
observing his somber features. He was in a dark place, and she wasn't sure if
she should go there, but she had to.
"Talk to me." She said
softly, her hand on his knee to try to get him to look at her. He finally did.
"Why?" He asked as if
everything depended on the right answer to this simple question.
"Because I care."
He nodded. "Where do you
want me to start?"
"I don't know--why don't
you tell me who the girl was?"
He chuckled. "Right. Let's
cut to the chase then." He took a deep breath and concentrated on bringing back
painful memories he most likely spent months trying not to stir.
"I was in my first year
at UCLA when I met Drusilla Blackwell." He started slowly, saying the name with
emotion. "The two of us were from two completely opposite worlds. I was a nerdy
freshman studying English literature in hope of some day becoming a writer, and
she was the Goth princess of the campus. One of those eternal students
attending college only to kill time, and have some fun while doing it. She
wasn't my usual type of girl. I was raised in a wealthy family, surrounded by
those high society snob women, who couldn't care less about me."
"Is that what attracted
you to her? That she was so different?"
"It was a little bit of
this, yeah, and so much more. Dru could have charmed the devil if she wanted. Sure,
she was a beautiful girl. Thick raven mane, pale skin, piercing eyes. But it
wasn't just that. There was something else about her. Something I can't
describe. And the minute she showed me interest, I was doomed. When Dru wanted
something, she'd get it. And it didn't take long for her to get me. At first,
everything was perfect. She was my dark princess, and I was her bloody awful
poet."
Buffy frowned. "She
thought you were a bad writer?"
He laughed. "I don't
know. Probably not. But soon after we started dating, I wrote her a poem. Turned
out she hated poetry. So she laughed and started calling me her bloody awful
poet. Anyway, things turned sour pretty quickly. I was so bloody enthralled by
her that I started skipping classes just to be with her. I spent so much money
to make her happy, but it was never enough. I ended up spending my tuition
money on her and dropping out of college. We had nowhere to stay so we came
here to Sunnydale. She said she had mates here and they wouldn't mind giving us
a place to crash for a while. That's how I had the misfortune to meet Liam 'Angel'
MacAlister, and his wife Darla."
Spike stopped talking
for a moment, lost in his thoughts. Buffy wanted to know more, but didn't want
to press him. She was eagerly leaning forward on her chair, hands between her
knees, giving him her full attention.
"I knew right away that
these people were bad news." He continued. "Even their three year old son,
Connor, was evil. I love kids, but after being around that brat, I almost
changed my mind. I don't usually talk like that about people, but Angel was a
right bastard, and Darla was a whore. All they cared about was having fun at
other people's expense, never worrying about consequences. That's what they did
with Drusilla and me. I haven't mentioned this, but Dru had a drug problem. I
only found out after I started fancying her. I was so in love with her that I
made it my only goal to save her. I knew she was stealing my money to buy that
shit, but I believed in her and believed that she was strong and would get over
her addiction."
"Did she?"
Spike shook his head. "She
almost did, but as soon as we moved in with Angel and Darla, it got worse. They
encouraged her addiction, going as far as buying coke for her and leaving it
around the house. They made it almost impossible for her to ever get better. Things
got so bad in that house, it killed the passion between Dru and I. But even if
I wasn't in love with her anymore, I still loved her and didn't want to give up
on her. These people were destroying her life. She was sick and she needed me. Abandoning
her there would have been like signing her death sentence."
"But, these people,
Angel and Darla, they were destroying your life too, weren't they?"
"That's the biggest
understatement of the century, pet. They didn't just destroy my life, they went
way beyond that and I let them because I loved her. That's me. I'm a right fool
when it comes to love. But even if I loved her, I still ended up having to
chose between me or her. I finally woke up when I was faced with the choice of
leaving and saving myself, or staying to help her, and risking my sanity--I was
sinking with her. The choice was hard, but I had to make it. Besides, at that
point, I had reason to think that she was cheating on me. So I tried breaking
it off with her a couple times. Every time though, she'd beg me to stay, and
things would get back to the way they were at first. But it would only last a
week or two. She'd be affectionate, calling me her sweet William, cuddling with
me and promising me the world. Then, things would deteriorate again. That's when..."
Buffy noticed how
emotional Spike suddenly became. She took one of his hands that was resting on
his knee and squeezed it gently in a discreet sign of support.
"I--I wanted to confront
her that night. I came back early on purpose. I wanted to catch her in the act
so there wouldn't be anymore doubts in my mind. I was tired of deluding myself.
When I noticed Angel's car in the driveway, I figured I had missed my chance to
catch her cheating because there was no way she'd shag that tosser. But as soon
as I walked into the house, I knew I was wrong. The thing is, it wasn't Angel I
saw her with, but Darla. They were on the bed, naked."
"You mean--Drusilla and
Darla were..."
"Yep. They were. And Dru
looked like she was enjoying herself too. She was all sprawled out on the bed
with Darla's hand between her legs. I don't even think she saw me there. Unfortunately
for me, I was so surprised at the sight that I think I zoned out for a few
moments. That's when..."
He took a deep breath
and for a moment, Buffy thought he wouldn't continue his story. His hand was
shaking badly in hers.
"That's when my world
went to Hell. Literally. I was so shocked by the display, that I didn't notice
Angel standing right next to me. He was wearing surgeon's gloves and nothing
else, and he was holding the gun Darla had bought for Dru. She had begged her
to buy it so she could defend herself against the bad guys a few months before,
when she was in one of her paranoiac phase. I had been against the idea, and I
guess I was right to be after all. Before I could do anything to stop it--Angel
shot her."
Silent tears were now
streaming down Spike's face as he relived the horrible memories. Buffy didn't
realize it, but she was crying too.
"It took me a few
seconds to understand what had just happened. But it was too late. Darla was
laughing, there was blood everywhere, and Angel had used the moment of shock to
put the gun in my hand. I dropped it to the floor and left the room. I don't
remember much after that. I think I went outside. I remember throwing up, but
it's foggy. I didn't even try to run away. I just sat on the front porch,
trying to understand what had just happened. That's where the cops found me. Time
flew by after that. Everything worked against me in court so it didn't take very
long for the verdict. They had eye witnesses, my hand prints on the gun, and
the motive. Darla sat at the witness-box, crying hysterically and pointing a
shaky finger in my direction with all the day time TV drama she could put in
the act. Next thing I knew, a judge was telling me in technical words that life
was over for me. The very worst moment of my life, is when I heard the word
'guilty' resonating in that court room. I'll never forget. Never."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow opened to door,
and froze. In front of her was Spike, his head on his knees, obviously crying. Buffy
was kneeling in front of him, running her hand through his hair, the way a
mother comfort a child. She gaped at the scene, incapable of tearing her eyes
away.
Finally, feeling like
she was intruding, she quietly walked out and closed the door behind her.
Eye witness
She drove for what
seemed like hours, never getting anywhere. But despite the miles accumulating
on the car's speedometer, she never put any distance between her and Sunnydale.
Her intent had never been to leave the town in the first place since her
destination was only five minutes away from her own house. She just couldn't
bring herself to take the turn that would lead her to the dreadful place she
wanted to see. So she kept on driving in circles. Her eyes were focused on a
point straight ahead and her thoughts were going a hundred miles an hour. The
goal of the ride was to witness the crime scene with her own eyes, but all she
managed to do so far was to avoid it.
Earlier that night,
Buffy had gone through Spike's file to try finding out everything she could
about that night's events. There was nothing interesting in the file though. A
copy of Darla's deposition, one of Liam, the transcript of the court session
and some technical details about the judgment. Everything matched what Spike
had told her earlier, except the fact that he was innocent. Reading all this
left her feeling frustrated.
After she got back home,
she'd called an old acquaintance of hers, Willy, who worked at Sunnydale Police
Department. She had met the guy while working in L.A. where he often stopped by
the prison to drop off prisoners. Willy had transferred to Sunnydale a year
before her as a result of a disciplinary measure taken against him. Being sent
to the suburb was as far from a promotion as a police officer could get. Will
was a nice enough guy when you overlooked the slightly sleazy side of his
personality, but he was definitely not a good cop. He had a tendency to over
share confidential information and unfortunately for him, his boss figured it
out after a few incidents. When Buffy had called him earlier, she had hoped
that being transferred to Sunnydale hadn't cured him of his bad habit. She
wasn't disappointed. It took a little bit of probing, but he ended up giving
her the information she needed about Liam MacAlister. Although, there really
wasn't much to know about the guy. No real criminal activity anyway. Two
arrests for assaults in a bar, and one for possession of marijuana. Not a clean
record, but nothing that could help her. It didn't matter. What she really
wanted was an address, and she got it.
Now Buffy was cruising
the empty streets of Sunnydale in her car, alone with her thoughts. And they
were not pretty. She kept replaying in her head the story Spike had told her
earlier that day. Thinking about it still made her upset, but as usual, she was
turning it into anger. It was so much easier to deal with anger. In her
experience, being upset only led to moping on the couch like a big useless
lump, just like she did the night after she kissed Spike for the first time. Buffy
didn't like that feeling at all. She was action girl. That's what she did. She
wasn't the type of person to just sit and wait for things to change on their
own. She needed to feel like she was doing something, like she was
accomplishing something constructive. Anger always egged her on so she welcomed
the feeling with open arms and let it take over her.
Making a decision, she
suddenly did a sharp u-turn on Main street and stepped on the accelerator,
heading in the opposite direction. She slowed down to be able to read the
street names. When she found the one she was looking for, she signaled and
turned. It was the town's trashiest neighborhood. Generally speaking, the
citizens of Sunnydale were mid to upper class. Large well lit sidewalks, pretty
family houses with well kept lawns, expensive cars and brand new mini vans. It
was the kind of perfect town where you want to raise your kids. A dream come
true for soccer moms and busy CEO dads. But there was a small part of town that
wasn't exactly recommendable. Buffy wasn't surprised to find out that this part
of town was where Angel and Darla lived.
Small houses in
desperate need of a paint job were lined up on each side of the street, so
close from one another that you could probably hear what the neighbor was
watching on TV. Most of them had old rusted cars parked in the driveway,
tricycle and other kid toys abandoned on the front lawn, and the lawn itself
was in a pitiful state. It was a sad contrast with the comfortable lifestyle
Buffy was used to. The fact that William submitted himself to life in this
neighborhood for the love of a woman, him who had been raised in luxury, was
impressive in itself.
**That stupid Drusilla
chick should have been kissing his feet and thanking God every day for being
loved this much, instead of cheating on him like a big whore. I don't know a
lot of men who would live in one of those houses for a woman.** Buffy thought
bitterly.
It started raining,
making it difficult for her to see the addresses from the poorly lit street. But
she finally found it. 230 Aurelius. The place where William Rayne had spent his
last moment of freedom. Posh was definitely not the word she'd use to describe
the house. The grayish white paint was peeling off on many spots and one of the
windows on the second floor had been replaced with cardboard. A lawnmower had
been abandoned by the front porch, probably ten years ago if the state of
rusting was any indication. The lights were out and everything seemed quiet. But
it was almost 4am and the car, a huge brown 1986 Oldsmobile Delta, was parked
on the side of the house. They were probably in there, sleeping.
Buffy took the
opportunity to fuel her anger by imagining Spike sleeping on his cot, cold,
alone and uncomfortable, while those two murderers were sound asleep in their
own bed. The house might have looked like a dump, but it was still way too good
for them. If what Spike had told her was true, and she knew deep down that it
was, then the people living in this house belonged in jail. They were the ones
who should be sleeping on a cot every night for the rest of their pathetic
lives.
She heard Spike's voice
in her head.
"I didn't even try to
run away. I just sat on the front porch, trying to understand what had just
happened. That's where the cops found me."
The rain was beating
down on the windshield, blurring everything outside. It rarely rained at this
time of the year in California, but the weather suited Buffy's mood perfectly. She
stared at the porch and could almost see in her mind's eyes the ghost of
William sitting there with his head in his hands, waiting for the cops to
arrive and take his freedom away from him. It wasn't fair. It shouldn't have
been.
She was actually curious
to see Angel and Darla. She wanted to see what evil looked like. How could two
human beings be so completely evil that they'd come up with such a horrible
plan, and lie so well that they'd fool everybody into putting the wrong man
behind bars? How can you live with yourself knowing that you've done that? How
can you sleep at night? This was something Buffy couldn't fathom no matter how
hard she tried. Maybe because it takes a psychopath to understand another
psychopath.
**Soulless. They have to
be. There is no other explanation.**
The rain had stopped and
the sky was turning to a lighter shade, a sure sign that the sun was coming up.
Buffy realized that she had been sitting there for way too long. Turning the
key in the ignition, she started the car and drove away, hoping that she hadn't
been noticed. Being spotted tonight would have been of the bad. She was there
to observe only. Somehow, she needed to see this place for herself. It made
what Spike went through, a reality to her as well. By being there, it made her
part of this whole mess. Like adding a player to a game of poker when the game
is already started. She had just thrown some money on the table and taken a
seat. The only thing was, Liam Angel MacAlister and his wife Darla thought the
game to be long over. Now, they'd have to sit back down and wait for the cards
to be dealt again. And Buffy would make sure they wouldn't go home with the
money this time around.