I sat down on the couch in my living room, sighing at what my life had become. I looked toward the bed room that had caused me such pain, in the past year. I sighed and thought, 'Why did I ruin it? Why couldn't I just tell him the truth?' I sat there, lost in thought, flashing back to that day a year ago.
*FLASHBACK*
"So, "Nick started as we laid in the bed, "can we talk?"
I smiled and said, "Of course." I then reached over and pulled his body against mine, trailing kisses down his neck.
"Alex...um..." Nick started and then trailed off, moaning in pleasure. He moaned and whispered, "I love you, Alex."
I paused form the kissing and gave my usual response, "Ditto." I could feel Nick tense up and he pulled away. He rolled on to his back, as I stared at him in confussion. "What? What's the matter?"
Nick just shook his head, "Forget it, Alex." He then rolled on to his side, with his back facing me. For the rest of the night I lied awake, on my back. Nick was beside me, in the bed, but it felt like we were on seperate continents.
The next morning, I woke up and found the bed empty. I looked around and saw that Nick's clothes and personal belongings were gone. I slipped on a pair of boxers and ran downstairs, finding Nick sitting on the couch. "What are you doing? Why's all your stuff gone?!, " I asked with worry.
Nick sighed and said, "I meant what I said last night. I love you, Alex. But I feel that you don't have the same feelings. I've felt this way for a while now, and I thought things would get better. All of my stuff is at a hotel, I'll be staying there until I find a place."
I sat heavily down on the couch and asked, "What? I feel the same. Don't do this, please!"
Nick shook his head, "You can't even say the words. Everytime I tell you that I love you, you always say the same things. Either ditto or yeah. Sometimes someone needs to hear how you feel. I can't live like this anymore. I don't feel needed. I'm sorry, mabey I'll see you around." With that Nick walked out of the house and out of my life.
*END FLASHBACK*
I felt tears pricking my eyes and cursed myself. I did and still do love Nick, with all my heart. But my stupid pride kept me from going after him and apologizing. At first it was pride and then it was fear. Fear, that he wouldn't want to talk to me. "Why couldn't I just say those words?, " I asked myself, not for the first time. And, then three months ago, I found out that it was too late to do anything about it. I talked to Brian and he informed me that Nick had started dating a guy, named Mark. And, he seemed happy. Brian told me that I should move on, like Nick has, but it's so hard. My heart breaks everytime I think about Nick sharing his days, heart, and bed with someone else. "I guess that's why they say every rose had a thorn." I whispered into the dark room.
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said or something I did
Did the words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say
Chorus:
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn
Yeah it does
I listen to our favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here somehow
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess
Chorus
Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar remains
Solo
I know I could have saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways
But now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess
Chorus
(*Song is sung by Poison and no copyright infringement is intended*)
