(THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME, SAM, MAR, KATIE, AND KELLI, ARR)

Hmm! Commercials. I like some commercials. But only if they're entertaining. Some aren't so entertaining. Some are just retarded and...stupid. They leave me confused and cursing at my television set! Everyone HATES their own lot of commercials, but exactly which ones? I shall list and tell my share on each and every one them, giving reason why everyone of them should DIE AND BURN IN HADES! Moo!

Trix Cereal

That's right! FUCKING TRIX. These commercials cease to BORE MY ASS OFF. In every single one, the 'Silly Rabbit' NEVER GETS THE FUCKING CEREAL. This pisses me off so much, that every time it comes on, I completely destroy whatever I'm working on, and yell at my television set, 'GIVE HIM THE DAMN CEREAL!!!!', only to see another futile attempt of the white rabbit trying to get the cereal. He will never get the cereal. Why do the commercials mess with our minds like this?

ALL of the Trix commercials suck so much. They leave people feeling ANGRY! HE NEVER GETS THE FUCKING CEREAL. HSSSK. I can see in the future, where the rabbit finally snaps, straps a homemade bomb to his chest, and kills all of those kids who never let him have the cereal. Okay, so he kills himself in the process, but at least the KIDS died, and didn't get to finish their cereal.

What especially bothers me is the new 'WHO STOLE THE TRIX?' commercials. I mean, WHO CARES? He probably ate all of the damn cereal anyway. He's supposedly one of the several people who are on this mythical 'train', one who's a woman. My guess is that the rabbit is NO ONE BWUA. Goodness in fruit-flavored corn puffs my ass.

Ovaltine Chocolate Milk

I don't know what the hell happened while making this commercial. Either the kids were tone deaf, or DIRECTOR WAS INSANE. In this rather old-looking commercial, some kids run in, and the mother suggest they drink Ovaltine Chocolate Milk, INSTEAD OF NESQUIK, SINCE IT'S JUST SO DAMN FILLED WITH FAT THAT IT WILL KILL YOU. Then, they all SCREAM (yes, SCREAM), "MORE OVALTINE, PLEASE!!!!!111/1" UH. What just happened? I swear...THAT'S NOT NORMAL. You're not supposed to scream on a commercial unless you're supposed to. THOSE KIDS WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO. Even worse, the other lines made by the actors weren't done all that quiet, either. I don't think anyone told those kids that you don't have to yell to be heard by all of America. The cameras weren't that cheap.

And besides the commercial...Who wants to drink calorie-free chocolate milk anyway? That's why we have NesQuik©. I bet Darth Vader would have liked NesQuik. But that has nothing to do with anything. No kid wants some frickin' chocolate milk that's FAT FREE. Unless the kid was HIDEIOUSLY OBESE, they shouldn't even be drinking so much chocolate milk, that it became a health problem.

Skippy Squeez Stix

Okay, whoever thought of the idea of having peanut-butter in a tub sucked. I mean, in the commercials, it has some mixed kid rapping about squirt-able peanut-butter. Okay, this is a little bit more tolerable. Wait, I lied. But if I were that guy, I wouldn't be telling anyone about that peanut-butter.

The OTHER commercial just takes it all. It has some kids squirting the peanut-butter on a row of crackers, which are covered in perfectly-sliced pieces of banana. First of all...WHO THE FUCK EATS BANANAS AND CRACKERS? No one, that's who. And I doubt anyone will start eating them with peanut-butter, let alone BANANAS. Who thought that spreading peanut-butter on a piece of bread would be such a hard task as the commercial made it seem to be? I mean...When was the last time you've even had PROBLEMS putting peanut-butter on food? WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU'VE EATEN PEANUT-BUTTER?

They have another product, that has a squirt-able tube filled with peanut-butter and chocolate you can eat. Honestly, I don't see a lot of people going out to buy that.

Dr. Scholl's Gel Insoles

These commercials are annoying beyond belief. "I'm jellin' like a felon!" make no sense whatsoever, and is not a good way to advertise foot in-soles. I mean...What does it mean to 'jell like a fellon'? Isn't it gel, not 'jell'? And aren't felons BAD? Dr. Scholl should be ashamed. In the commercials, there's also some guy that says 'jellin' like a felon'' correctly, and is quickly disregarded as a loser. Obviously, those with fallen arches are very fickle about those who join their group.

Trojan Condoms

UGH. I HATE these commercials! In it, there's some loser GUY talking to his girlfriend. SUDDENLY, some fucking guy that only shows his glove gives this guy this RANDOM BOX OF CONDOMS. Then--EVERYONE'S HAPPY! His slut girlfriend is giggling like an idiot, then the commercial ends.

I won't try and include my views on condoms (KJFLS;FAJDS;FLSK), but this commercial just pisses me off. When the guy goes, 'FOR HER PLEASURE!' and shows the box, that just...freaks me out. I hate that guy with the glove, I hate the loser guy, and I hate his whore girlfriend. Humans suck so much.

What SHOULD have happened was this:

Girl: Hello, Jerry!

Jerry: RUU *SPAZZES OUT*

Giant Condom Man Hand: *His hand shoots out and accidently punches the guy; Jerry recovers and smiles.* DON'T WORRY BUDDY USE TROJAN CONDOMS FOR YOUR PLEASURE AND HERS AND HOPE YOU DON'T GET AIDS FROM THAT SLUT

Jerry: ;D!! *takes the box and IS HAPPY*

Girl: RUU *is a retard*

Cap'n Crunch Cereal

You can't even catch ADD. BUT CAP'N CRUNCH MAKES IT POSSIBLE. In all of their commercials, Cap'n Crunch is BUSTING into some place, destroying everything in his ship's path, and invites some kids onto his ship for...'cereal'. YEAH. Anyway, in the Choco Donut cereal commercial, there's two siblings in a store with their mom, shopping for shit. They decide that instead of getting healthy food they need--YES--donuts. CHOCOLATE donuts. I have no clue where they though of donuts, but then there comes GOOD OL' CAP'N CRUNCH, INVITING THEM ONTO SOME KIND OF GO-CART COURSE WITH CHOCOLATE DONUTS. They're all like '8D!!!!' and go into some sort of MAD-SUGAR-RUSH CRAZE. They turn into animated cartoons and race around a chocolate track, licking their mouths in pleasure, before being zapped back into reality with their mom--WITH CHOCOLATE-COVERED MOUTHS.

Whoever thought of this commercial had to be MAD. The scene of the kids zooming around the chocolate track, eyes wide in mad hunger, is a frightening one indeed.

Of course, there's the commercial where a couple of teens can't decide what movie to go see. DON'T WORRY YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCHES! CAP'N CRUNCH IS ON THE WAY TO SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS! He decides to give them the HORRIBLE advice Rugrats Go Wild is a good movie to see. I feel sorry for those children.

Downloading Music is Pirating

RUU, I HATE THIS COMMERCIAL. It's all , 'EVERYTIME YOU DOWNLOAD A MOVIE OR A SONG, SOMEONE DOESN'T GET PAID'. Well, I don't care, you money-sucking bastards! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH MEE.

In the future, commercials will continue to suck. People will still get angry, and stupid products will be advertised. What we all have to learn is to ignore them, and to never, ever buy their merchandise. But, what is most important is...

...God will surely punish me for that picture.

All of the cereal and shiznit are © to all of their rightful owners.