Frieza Interviews Kami
Frieza: Hello all!
Crowd: Hello Frieza!
Man 1: BOOO!!! Why don’t you think of something new to say?
Frieza: What you say!
Man 1: Every time you start the show you always say “Hello all”. Why can’t you be like that Jay Leno guy and talk about stuff that happens in the news and say funny jokes?
Frieza: Ok how about this….You know what I heard in the news today?
Man 1: What?
Frieza: **Blast the Man’s head off** There been a homicide. Ahaahahahaha get it? Because of all the stuff he did I did that and…..
Crowd: (Scared):……
Man 2: OH MY GOD! HE IS DEAD!
Woman 1: Duh. He shot off his head.
Man 2: But I thought this was all fake.
Woman 1: Nope it’s all real.
Frieza: Hey you two SHUT UP or your deaths won’t be fake! Ahahahaha get it because I you two were talken about fake and I said that…
Crowd: (Doesn’t laugh)
Frieza: Anyway are guest for today is…..KAMI!!!
(Kami walks out and sits down)
Kami: Uh Frieza. I like to be called God because I am God.
Frieza: Doesn’t Kami mean God?
Kami: Yes.
Frieza: So there is no point of me calling you that since I am calling you Kami which means God.
Kami:…..{bad word} you!
Frieza: Anyway first question. Did you create life, as we know it?
Kami: Uh no.
Frieza: Ok then can you make anything? Like a new person or a tree.
Kami: Uh….no.
Frieza: (frustrated) Can you just kill a man? I mean just kill him for no reason. Can you just end someone life?
Kami: Nope.
Frieza: Ok then are you stronger then Goku? I mean you are GOD!
Kami: Nope Goku and beat me AND kill me.
Frieza: Wait a minute you can be killed? WHAT KIND OF GOD ARE YOU? What do you do up there?
Kami: Why I go and plant flowers, sit on chairs, and…take long naps.
Frieza: So you mean you really do nothing. I bet you even have a boss to huh.
Kami: Yes I do. There are Gods that are stronger then ME!
Frieza: Ahahaha so you are just some kind of weak God huh?
Kami: **starts to cry** Don’t be mean! I am not a weak God.
Frieza: Give me a break. First you didn’t make ANYTHING! You can’t make anything. Plus you can’t kill someone! Your not really needed.
Kami: SHUT UP! Sure I am. If I weren’t there then all those pink flowers would die.
Frieza: Your just a {bad word}. Hey wait a minute. Didn’t you fuse with Piccolo a long time ago?
Kami: Yea.
Frieza: THEN HOW COULD YOU BE HERE?
Kami: Easy it’s a plot hole. Those happen a lot in DBZ and in every show.
Frieza: Oooh like how am I alive now because I was supposed to be dead.
Kami: Right.
Frieza: Ok now since you are a weak God…
Kami: **Again starts to cry** I’M NOT A WEAK GOD! I CAN TAKE ON MISTER POPO!!!
Frieza: Sure that small dude yea.
Kami: FINE! Watch this! **Punches a man in the crowd**
Man 2: Hehehehe that tickles.
Kami: **Begins to cry again** Your mean….
Frieza: DIE! **Fires a blast at Kami and he dies** Mwahahaahahaha no more God!
Man 2: Oh my! No more God that means….WE WON’T HAVE HIM WATCHING ARE BACKS!!! WE CAN DO EVERY SIN AND HE CAN’T DO A {bad word} THING ABOUT IT!!
Woman 1: MUST STEAL ALL FUR COATS!
Priest: Now now wait my children. God can never die. He is all-powerful and will send you to {bad word} if you these wrongful deeds.
Man 2: SHUT UP! **Takes the Priest’s Bible and beats the Priest over the head with it**
(Out side and all across the US people steal, kill, beat up their kids, and other things that would send you to {bad word}.)
Kami: **In Heaven crying** Why are people so mean…..
Jesus: It’s ok dad.
Kami: Back off I’m not your dad.
Jesus: I HATE YOU!!! **Runs away crying**
Frieza: Uh…. looks like I shouldn’t of killed him. Well, anyway good night all!
