Frieza Interviews Master Roshi
Frieza: Hello all!
Crowd: Hello Frieza!
Frieza: Welcome to Season 2 of my show. Man it sure has been one wild and crazy ride. Right kiddies? Anyway we have a new super duper season full of warm, fuzzy, and cute things! Dear god who wrote these q-cards?
Script Writer: I did! I think it’s my best work yet. I think this will be the season that we win the Emmy!
Frieza: Dear God my head….can’t take much more….stupidity….ahhh DIE! **Shoots Script Writer’s body off and has his head rolling**
Man 1: **Picks up Script Writer’s head** I got a free head! Just wait to I show it to my kids. We can use this thing for shooting practice. Then after that we can play some violent video games. It sure will be fun!
Frieza: Um….ok. You just go with that. Anyway my guest for today is……MASTER ROSHI!!!
**Master Roshi is walking very slowly to his chair**
Master Roshi: Oh I don’t think I can make it. Someone will have to carry me. **Starts to bump into things** Ahhh I can’t see with these sunglasses.
Frieza: Then why do you keep wearing them?
Master Roshi: **Sits in his chair** Because all the ladies dig men wearing sunglasses.
Woman 1: No we don’t.
Frieza: SHUT UP! You will get your chance to speak and I tell you {bad word}! Now my first question…
Master Roshi: Don’t you mean your second question?
Frieza:…..**Smacks Master Roshi up-side the head** Don’t question me!
Master Roshi: You knocked my hearing aid out. You little {bad word}.
Frieza: Whatever. Ok here is my FIRST question. How old are you?
Master Roshi: **Just sees Frieza’s lips move** I told you I can’t hear a thing.
Frieza: Oh don’t give me that! Just tell me how old are you.
Master Roshi: **Pops his hearing aid back in** Ahh now I can hear. What did you say again?
Frieza: Ok….I said…..**Gets in Master Roshi ear** HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!!!!
Master Roshi: OUCH!!!! You didn’t have to yell I can hear you. I am around…650 years old.
Frieza: {bad word} that is old. Ok for my second question….
Master Roshi: I thought you already ask your second question?
Frieza: You question me one more time I swear I will break those sun glasses.
Master Roshi: Epp! No don’t do that. Then all the woman would think I’m ugly.
Woman 1: We already thing you’re ugly!
Frieza: THAT’S IT! Men throw her into THE PIT!
**Two men take her and throw her into The Pit**
Frieza: Ok now for my SECOND question. How many porno magazines do you have?
Master Roshi: Over six hundred and counting.
Frieza: You must be a sad lonely man….
Master Roshi: Yes…yes I am…..**sniff** can you give me a hug.
Frieza: Don’t touch me.
Master Roshi: Ahh come on lady. Just give me a hug.
Frieza: Did you call me a lady?
Master Roshi: Well, you are a woman.
Frieza: Ok that’s it….YOU’RE DEAD! **Punches Master Roshi in the face**
Master Roshi: Ahhh you broke my sun glasses! That’s it. Ka…….me…..ha…me….ehh……ack! **Falls down**
Frieza: Um…..are you ok? **Kicks Master Roshi**
Master Roshi: My…..heart……..**Dies**
Frieza: {bad word} sucks to be him.
Producer: FRIEZA! Didn’t I tell you that you have to stop killing your guest?!
Frieza: But he had a heart attack. I didn’t have anything to do with that…..well maybe….
Producer: We will talk about this later.
Frieza: **Mumbles** I have him so much….. Anyway that’s it so goodbye all!
