The Fans speak praise of CountryPhil
"His Fans would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"I would not allow him to breed."
"Not so much a has-been, more of a won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young Man has delusions of adequacy."
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"Is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"CountryPhil should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
"When his IQ gets up to 50, he should sell."
"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd ask for change."
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm during conception."
"One neuron short of a synapse."
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
"Takes him 1 ½ hours to watch 60 minutes."
