none of the info provided here is real - it's for FUN (you know what that is, right?) purposes only

• It's simple my friend, Sailor Moon is obviously an alien figure, right? Well, when she's transforming she sprays this sort of "magical" dust that blinds all of the people within a four mile radius of her - this way, nobody eeeeever sees a thing.

2) How come nobody ever notices that Sailor Moon is the Moon Princess?

• I can't help but agree with you here - let's think about it - Sailor Moon, Moon Princess, Moon Kingdom, Princess Serena, Serena, Princess Serenity, Queen Serenity, SERENA, Meatballs, the long blonde hair, moons everwhere she goes, Moon Prism Power, Moon Healing Activation.  I think it's because Luna is actually a figure that represents the people who came up with crack.  She smokes about three pounds a day of this stuff and therefore she can't really think straight.   Other scouts have often considered the uncanny similarity between Sailor Moon and the Moon Princess, but everytime they bring this up to her she threatens their life with her super-duper powers that never get presented in the course of the highly edited Americanized version of Sailor Moon.

3) If Zoicite is really a guy how come in so many side shots of him/her you see        boobs?

• Hrrm . . . now that is a good question. Some would answer this is because in her "transformation" in the move from Japan to North America she got implants because "Malechite" likes it that way. But I know the real reason behind this. Actually Zoicite is Luna's drug dealer. And you always noticed how Luna jumps at Zoicite? Well if you were to slow down the clip and watch closer, this is actually a strategic plan for Luna to get her drugs and not let on of the dealings. Wait I got off track the simple reason behind this all is that Zoicite has bags of crack hidden in her bra.

4)How come nobody ever recognizes Sailor Moon as Serena?

• I see the point in that. One always wonders what's up with that. I mean it's so obvious: the long blonde meatballs (the only difference is the red metal thingies), the big, blue eyes, and the only difference in the outfit is the skirt is a little bit shorter. I mean even in her Serena form she's still got that stupid locket on. I bet if Serena were to dress up in a home made Sailor Moon costume she would be recognized. It's also the same with the other Sailor Senshi. For example: when Sailor Venus comes in everyone recognizes her as Sailor V. But when she meets the scouts at the temple as plain ol' Mina NOBODY recognized her. Even the voice is the same! The reason is because of one thing: They DO recognize her but nobody wants to tell her what an idiot she is because all the other scouts had to jump in and save her butt . . . again.

5) Why, in the Sailor Moon R movie, is Fiore jealous of Serena - 'cause she's        Darien's girlfriend?

• Well, as you may or may not very well know - Fiore is an alien from a distant planet.  (Strange alien guys = some very weird freaks of nature and, may I remind you - mistakes can happen.) When he was born, he came out with this rare genetic disorder that makes him confuse guys with girls and vice versa.  When he first met Darien, he thought he was kinda funky lookin' but he gave him a chance.  He didn't want him to know about this wierd and certainly unnatural freak genetic disorder so every effectionate feeling he passed towards Darien, he disguised it as a "friendship thing". After Darien left, Fiore was very lonely and lusted strongly for Darien. So he left in search of him once more.  He knew that Darien loved roses, but since they didn't grow on the planet he is from, he made this other one that looked like 'em.   He offered one to Darien as a sort of swooning technique but the rose thing just blew up in Fiore's face.  Then in comes Serena - Darien's love, his concubine, his loooooover (which we're pretty positive of, *wink wink*). What the producers of the American version do not let us American children know is that Serena and Fiore are actually related to each other.  Remember, they never actually say where Serena was originally from. Turns out, Serena and Fiore are telepathic wierdos. They have this kinda bet going on as to who can swoon over Darien first. Well, Serena accomplished this before Fiore did and thus results a bitter taste for her. After all of this is over with (cuz ya know, bets DO end) Fiore continues to have his feelings for Darien; what he does is a whole nother story . . .  . .

6) Why are the transformation and attack sequences so long for the scouts?

• It's true that they take like a million years to transform and I'm pretty sure that any straight headed kid would wonder why the monster doesn't just attack while they're doing this.  But get this, while they're "transforming", they're actually nogotiating with the monster. For instance:

• Raye: Let's make a deal, two-headed-snake-that looks-like-a-delicious-easter-bunny chocolate.Both you and I don't want to look like a fool so I compromise this: you beat me around a  little while with your freak-of-nature power and then I'll somehow swoon you over with my great speech and then Sailor Moon over there with blast you off. That sound fair?
• Monster: (grunt grunt roar) (little bit of compromising) (monster agrees) (they hand shake) (walks off happy and waits)

After this they take a smidget bit of a coffee break (they've got this really bad java craving) and sneak in a bite or two and continue along they're merry little way.

7) Is sailor v related to sailor moon?

• You know how I said that every once in a while mother nature will perform a freak accident in the family? Well, this is another such case. Turns out - Sailor V and Sailor Moon are the products of insestuouse experiments. It's a shame I know, but sadly it's true. (If it makes you feel any better, I bet they're "parents" had fun experimenting.)

3) How come in the end of the S movie Luna doesn't stay human or Kakeru doesn't try to keep her or anything like that?

• Because of political standards, that's not really how it happend the mock version was shown. What REALLY happened though was that Luna and Kakeru were secret lesbians caught up in a threesome with Artemis. It got really messed up and eventually they had to take it to Jerry Springer. Luna got pregnant by Artemis and Kakeru got mad and as punishment told her to f*** off and she was so heart broken that she returned to a cat while proceeding to sleep with artemis behind his back and carrying Diana.